.

Klass99:


Uncle relax na. I wasn't judging you at all. But, I think my personal preference may have been projected in that post. I wasn't imposing it either, I was just saying.

When I said this whole baby mama business doesn't sit well with me, I meant personally I can't do it, I don't see myself becoming anyone's baby mama not even Aliko Dangote with all his money and humility. If he asked me, which we know is not going to happen anyway

It's not self righteousness, everything in me just rebels against it and to see someone say this is what girls are looking for and your baby mama wan use her hand spoil am, I swear I shock @ that comment and mentality.

Secondly, I was speaking in general terms about the subject matter of kids and not specifically to you or Carchoice. If we're going to have children let's strive to create a solid home foundation for them.

I know you had plans to marry your girl but her family drama prevented you from doing so, I'm also glad you listened to your father to not proceed with that plan until the drama was resolved (good fathers are immensely wise like that) On the other hand why were you knacking show without protection or precautions, if you weren't ready for a child like you said?

You put the cart before the horse and that's where I will fault you cos I'm old school like that. You have done right by your baby mama/son so far and I will 100% applaud you for that.

In fact when I saw your post I thought to myself this baby mama business is lucrative o! Imagine having someone pay my rent of 750k and give me a monthly allowance of 200k all because I have his child As good as that sounds the downside to it, is that, it makes foolish women lazy and in their foolishness others think becoming a baby mama is the way to go. They are not thinking of doing honest work for a living, why should they? When through their child their living expenses and bills can be paid.

I think you should still fight until the end of the year for what you want with her. If a new year rolls in and she still feels the same way, waka pass abeg.

Thanks sis, one of the wisest advice on this thread. God bless you and I wish you the best husband you wish for.

crackhaus:

Kai, wahala for who go land inside relationship with a needy woman.

Provide emotional security, provide financial security, provide sexual satisfaction, provide orgasm, be a comedian, make her happy all the time, support her inside kitchen, massage her body and feet... Jesu

The guy's ONLY concern should be his son, there's nothing to salvage between him and that woman. All that talk I've been reading on the thread about him trying to make amends with her na just fabu.

You can't keep a person who does not want to stay, it NEVER works... and even if it does, she would have gained more power to misbehave in the future knowing that he will always come crawling and begging her not to leave.

@OP, please find a way to retain connection with your son however way you can. He's your son, you follow born am and you don't need to beg her to have access to him...you simply DON'T.
Her only grace here is the distance between both of you and the fact that she knows all you care about is your son (which is not a bad thing at all), so she will use all this to torment you – it's what they usually do, but don't let it get to you.

If you have family in Nigeria, let them hold the fort for you and keep in touch with your child on your behalf.

Anything that makes you still go ahead to marry this particular lady after all this, then it will be clear that village people are really on your case.


Ohh wonderful, your brain is still in form...

Thanks boss happy to get advice from reasonable people like you. God bless you boss.

Broken2020:


Her advisers are winning, not sure I want to spend my life with a woman that dug a hole around me with her friends. I didn’t notice till I fell into it.

Boss you need to hear how her friend snatched the phone from her and boldly told me “i advised her to leave you” That statement still resound in my ears.

Lmao, watch her regret her actions few years from now and watch her advisers laugh at her. People never learn.

.

Klass99:


Of course you will think it wise because it doesn't castigate or condemn you but I meant everything I said in good faith and I try not to respond to life's issues with thoughtless emotionalism.

Your girl has a good share of the blame being heaped on you as well, because her body is hers, she could have decided to take in or not take in, to wait until you put a ring on it, before birthing your son. Why don't we ever learn from the examples before us or experiences of others?

I don’t mind if anyone castigates me but insults no no no. Anyways thanks for your advice

Broken2020:


The same girl advising her now was emotionally down when I was in Nigeria she was loving her co worker who had girlfriend the guy was friend zoning her I told her to move on if the boy is not ready for her she refused and kept pestering the guy, the guy was living with her in her apartment, she was paying the guys bills but they were just friends.

She said she took the guy’s name to a prophet so the guy came begging for marriage now they are married. The same person advised the woman I have lived my whole life for to quit me.

Omo

I pity that man o

crackhaus:

Kai, wahala for who go land inside relationship with a needy woman.

Provide emotional security, provide financial security, provide sexual satisfaction, provide orgasm, be a comedian, make her happy all the time, support her inside kitchen, massage her body and feet... Jesu

The guy's ONLY concern should be his son, there's nothing to salvage between him and that woman. All that talk I've been reading on the thread about him trying to make amends with her na just fabu.

You can't keep a person who does not want to stay, it NEVER works... and even if it does, she would have gained more power to misbehave in the future knowing that he will always come crawling and begging her not to leave.

@OP, please find a way to retain connection with your son however way you can. He's your son, you follow born am and you don't need to beg her to have access to him...you simply DON'T.
Her only grace here is the distance between both of you and the fact that she knows all you care about is your son (which is not a bad thing at all), so she will use all this to torment you – it's what they usually do, but don't let it get to you.

If you have family in Nigeria, let them hold the fort for you and keep in touch with your child on your behalf.

Anything that makes you still go ahead to marry this particular lady after all this, then it will be clear that village people are really on your case.


Ohh wonderful, your brain is still in form...

@bold:

You are learning fast.

All these in addition to protection. It is not easy to be the daddy of a family.

The OP messed up (especially with the threats) that's why I suggest they work it out one last time.

The girl also has issues however she is not here to receive her own kpankere.

If things don't work out this last time, he can move on with the knowledge that he tried and lost.

bukatyne:


@bold:

You are learning fast.

All these in addition to protection. It is not easy to be the daddy of a family.

The OP messed up (especially with the threats) that's why I suggest they work it out one last time.

The girl also has issues however she is not here to receive her own kpankere.

If things don't work out this last time, he can move on with the knowledge that he tried and lost.

E be like say you get sense oo and different from most of them here

FanOfMyself:

E be like say you get sense oo and different from most of them here

Buka get sense well we'll.
Her wisdom dey too much
Always looking forward to her contributions

bukatyne:

@bold:

You are learning fast.

All these in addition to protection. It is not easy to be the daddy of a family.

The OP messed up (especially with the threats) that's why I suggest they work it out one last time.

The girl also has issues however she is not here to receive her own kpankere.

If things don't work out this last time, he can move on with the knowledge that he tried and lost.

Lol, nor be only learning fast...

bukatyne:


Hahahahahahaha

Don't you think such helps. It is easier when you know the personality of whom you are advising of that information is available

GboyegaD:


Don't you think such helps. It is easier when you know the personality of whom you are advising of that information is available

I agree with you.

However, if he was going to provide it, he won't have opened an alternate moniker.

If you find it, biko tag me.

crackhaus:

Lol, nor be only learning fast...

Add hot prayer warrior too.

bukatyne:

Add hot prayer warrior too.

Kuku kill the man eh...
No wonder husbands dey first die on average.

What does he get in return for all this pro bono work sef?

bukatyne:


I agree with you.

However, if he was going to provide it, he won't have opened an alternate moniker.

If you find it, biko tag me.

...so that he can be haunted with it for the rest of his nairaland days?

Nairaland is full of immature people who don't know where to draw the line. It is wiser to protect your identity.
He does not need to prove anything to anybody. We have the option to either take it or leave it.

mariahAngel:


...so that he can be haunted with it for the rest of his nairaland days?

Nairaland is full of immature people who don't know where to draw the line. It is wiser to protect your identity.
He does not need to prove anything to anybody. We have the option to either take it or leave it.

Am not going to disclose it, I opened a new moniker one time for the purpose of giveaway somehow some people found my real moniker and they came for me.

Even after I announced that the giveaway was over they were still quoting me via my real moniker.

Broken2020:


Am not going to disclose it, I opened a new moniker one time for the purpose of giveaway somehow some people found my real moniker and they came for me.

Even after I announced that the giveaway was over they were still quoting me via my real moniker.

Careful... Or you might just give yourself away

Broken2020:
I am losing access to my son, all I have worked for is about to crash before me. My baby mama’s friend has dealt a hard blow on my relationship.

Don’t mind my grammatical errors
Please I need advice, I just look at my son and cry because I know what I went through growing up with my dad and stepmom.

I think you took this girl for granted. Excuses too full your mouth as to why you have not made an honest woman of her. People are always advising you, dont marry now, have the kid et al. 2014 till 2020 is an incredibly long time to leave a lady hanging. Unless you don't have legal right to remain in your abroad, you should hv settled this lady since. Yes, there is a pandemic but inside this pandemic, people hv been getting married still, traveling home too. Your excuses are too much sir.

Don't get anyone else begging her. Stop crying for her, all na wash. She's probably heard you cry since 2015 when you begged her to terminate the pregnancy which today, you so dearly cling on to now and proclaim your son as your life.

Now what should you do? If this lady is good and you still want to end up with her. draw up a plan where you can get home n formalize marriage with her. Don't call to beg and cry again. Send an audio or write a message detailing when you will come to see her family. Be very realistic and honest about this. Tell her your short term plan THAT INCLUDES HER AND YOUR SON as it relates to uniting as a family. Then wait for her response. If she still says no, then the game is truly over. In that case try to have a civil relationship with her for the sake of your son.

But if she is a reasonable woman, you should get something positive. Good luck

stonecoldcafe:


I think you took this girl for granted. Excuses too full your mouth as to why you have not made an honest of her. People are always advising you, dont marry now, have the kid et al. 2014 till 2020 is an incredibly long time to leave a lady hanging. Unless you don't have legal right to remain in your abroad, you should hv settled this lady since. Yes, there is a pandemic but inside this pandemic, people hv been getting married still, traveling home too. Your excuses are too much sir

Okay sir, but let me ask you have you stayed abroad before ?

You just took what interest you and decided to castigate me with it.

My brother if you dey go abroad you can’t tell how long you will stay, I have a document here but I can’t travel to Nigeria with it, I would have since gotten all my document but the pandemic put many things on hold, no issuance of documents here.

Make I come Naija come lock myself for Naija, do you think it’s every country that still allow travel to Nigeria?

You don marry? If not what’s stopping you and if yes congratulations.

Go read again why my dad said hold on let her family settle themselves.

You modified your comment and I appreciate your advice. My brother life get as e be, I don’t like the baby mama thing but sincerely speaking there are circumstances beyond my control, there are countries where money really can’t buy you everything. If I deport myself after marriage na to start afresh oo.

Thanks bro I appreciate

mariahAngel:


...so that he can be haunted with it for the rest of his nairaland days?

Nairaland is full of immature people who don't know where to draw the line. It is wiser to protect your identity.
He does not need to prove anything to anybody. We have the option to either take it or leave it.

Are you......

crackhaus:

Kuku kill the man eh...
No wonder husbands dey first die on average.

What does he get in return for all this pro bono work sef?

1. A wife who willingly uses all her resources to bless her husband.

2. A wife who makes a home for her husband and kids.

bukatyne:




Are you......

Am I what? E soro soke!

Broken2020:


Okay sir, but let me ask you have you stayed abroad before ?

You just took what interest you and decided to castigate me with it.

My brother if you dey go abroad you can’t tell how long you will stay, I have a document here but I can’t travel to Nigeria with it, I would have since gotten all my document but the pandemic put many things on hold, no issuance of documents here.

Make I come Naija come lock myself for Naija, do you think it’s every country that still allow travel to Nigeria?

You don marry? If not what’s stopping you and if yes congratulations.

Go read again why my dad said hold on let her family settle themselves.

You modified your comment and I appreciate your advice. My brother life get as e be, I don’t like the baby mama thing but sincerely speaking there are circumstances beyond my control, there are countries where money really can’t buy you everything. If I deport myself after marriage na to start afresh oo.

Thanks bro I appreciate

My brother, it is well. I don't know your personal circumstance or the country you reside in and what they allow or don'tallow. And that's why I stated in my last comment that you should draw up a realistic plan.

Now If your personal circumstances will not allow you go freely marry and return then of course you need to do what is right for you. Nobody will advice you to get deported or reach Nigeria and hook. Every one knows it's not easy there with covid and this last riot. All the best

stonecoldcafe:


My brother, it is well. I don't know your personal circumstance or the country you reside in and what they allow or don'tallow. And that's why I stated in my last comment that you should draw up a realistic plan.

Now If your personal circumstances will not allow you go freely marry and return then of course you need to do what is right for you. Nobody will advice you to get deported or reach Nigeria and hook. Every one knows it's not easy there with covid and this last riot. All the best

Thanks bro

Broken2020:


My brother as I type now am crying, I don’t know what this girl want but from all indications she must have been introduced to someone else because this kind of character is what I have never seen with her.

Why don't we hear from her.

You've painted yourself like an angel.

Someone that has visted you once why would they deny her visa a second time?

You always threaten her with breakups and also body shame her. Seems like a toxic relationship to me.

thorpido:
Why didn't you try to formalise the wedding?You should at least have done introduction/engagement before all these 'movements' you've been making.

He wants to turn her to Lord of the ring.

Anyway, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. If it is meant to be then she will return when her eyes is clear. The op has spoilt her. Take away some of the gifts and she will experience factory reset.

Op you sef why do you always threaten her with break-up? You sef your way no pure

ozonechrome:


Why don't we hear from her.

You've painted yourself like an angel.

Someone that has visted you once why would they deny her visa a second time?

You always threaten her with breakups and also body shame her. Seems like a toxic relationship to me.

Oga if you read my posts and comments again without loud music I guess you will have a bette understanding.

I even acknowledged my mistakes, the issue of visa is neither her fault nor mine

Ishilove:

He wants to turn her to Lord of the ring.

Anyway, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. If it is meant to be then she will return when her eyes is clear. The op has spoilt her. Take away some of the gifts and she will experience factory reset.

Op you sef why do you always threaten her with break-up? You sef your way no pure

My brother wetin person see for past relationships dey make man fear oo

Just watch the so called friend turn around and try to get your attention. Your baby mama is soooooo gullible