₦airaland Forum

She is a self centered person

Anoymus:
1. I just support her the little way I can. I never paid her school fees while she was in school I just gave her pocket money not more than 10k and it happens only once every 1-2 months

Not too bad, but when a person routinely receives money from another person for a long time, some level of dependency is likely to be conditioned in the mind of the receiver.

2. They dread their dad so much cos he is a retired soldier, the fear also rubbed on me on the long run. he just knows me as his daughter's friend. We haven't got that opportunity to discuss intimately yet. Her mum na my padi, I speak to her freely. Unlike her dad

Okay

3. I'm not sure. I think they should be responsible for all their own finances. More reason why I'm asking questions, make I no go marry person wey go dey carry money dash their people while I expenses go dey choke me.

You need to find a way to figure this out. Many women actually expect their male ATM partners to be responsible for the family they come from.

4. No sir, she isn't. I am also a graduate, and was fortunate to venture into a booming business after graduation in 2014. I'm also not ugly or
handicapped in anyway (I'm sorry if you are a handicap reading this, this is not to spite you in anyway) she's certainly not doing me a favour being in the relationship.

A woman can be far beneath you in terms of achievements and potential, and yet think she is doing you a favour by dating you because she gets attention and favours from other men who seem to be doing better than you.

Mind you, money is a big issue in marriages. Discussions about how to spend money is a must for any realist in today's dating scene. A poll in Canada found that 68% of responders were ready to divorce from fighting over money http://goldhartlaw.com/top-5-reasons-for-divorce-in-canada/

I wish I could give you a clear answer here. But a man must decide what he can and cannot live with. Read all responses and write down reasons to go on with the proposal and reasons not to after you're convinced you have enough information. Weigh the pros and cons, and make your decision. Good luck.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

it's better to be single than marrying an unsupportive woman....your kond of gf is the type dat will be funding her family while you suffer alone....break up now, marriage pass I love you I love you .

Op do not marry her.
Things will only get worse when you both get married.
I havnt even discussed such with my fiancee and she is already telling me how she will assist the family.

So what exactly is she bringing to the table in this marriage apart from her womb and vagina?

How anyone can have this kind of mentality in this day age boggles the mind. Her kind will nag you to depression if you happen to fall on hard times.

Op, count your teeth with your tongue.

GiantParrot:
Not too bad, but when a person routinely receives money from another person for a long time, some level of dependency is likely to be conditioned in the mind of the receiver.



Okay



You need to find a way to figure this out. Many women actually expect their male ATM partners to be responsible for the family they come from.




A woman can be far beneath you in terms of achievements and potential, and yet think she is doing you a favour by dating you because she gets attention and favours from other men who seem to be doing better than you.

Mind you, money is a big issue in marriages. Discussions about how to spend money is a must for any realist in today's dating scene. A poll in Canada found that 68% of responders were ready to divorce from fighting over money http://goldhartlaw.com/top-5-reasons-for-divorce-in-canada/

I wish I could give you a clear answer here. But a man must decide what he can and cannot live with. Read all responses and write down reasons to go on with the proposal and reasons not to after you're convinced you have enough information. Weigh the pros and cons, and make your decision. Good luck.

Thank you

Ishilove:
So what exactly is she bringing to the table in this marriage apart from her womb and vagina?

How anyone can have this kind of mentality in this day age boggles the mind. Her kind will nag you to depression if you happen to fall on hard times.

Op, count your teeth with your tongue.

Thank you

Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off

Everything dey turn you off and On....aunty you be light Switch

Theres nothing wrong with her response,ur here taking it serious mainwhile she saw it as a harmless convo,a man is the head like u plp always drag na,so whybis this load heavy for you to carry? Long she has a hand work deres no way she wont do the little things at home to surport u,so your even lucky, there are women who are bound to just being potential house wives the type that wait for ther husbands just to buy 50 naira maggi....so do not over think it so long shes going to be working shes gona have to b ur back up money plan,the money must fall out once once, do not use this and judge her biko instead jokingly talk to her about it again and let her know ur kind...goodluck!

I've never met the kind of woman like your mom and girlfriend.


How is it even possible that a woman will not contribute financially into her family?

My 2 cents!

Even in ordinary relationship, it's advisable the couple contribute. Because if one fails to match the contribution of the the other, it makes it easy for them. to. leave the relationship instead of work on it, why?

cos they've nothing to lose! they contributed little or no time, money or other resources.

same should go for families. it's harder for you to leave a marriage you've worked hard for. You strive to make it work until divorce becomes the last resort.

Just like a thread here yesterday "about a nigga trying to manage his cheating wife, because all the money he's spent on the marriage"

have you asked your self,why in some relationships, after breakups, one party is hurt badly? Lol,it's because of their contributions (time,money, sex etc) that's y they are so pained.

I'll tell how my dad and mom did it

my dad earns more than my mom,
they have a joint account, every month, they deposit 30% of their income in their joint account. Infact it was mom's idea. She used to collect both hers and my dad's, deposit it herself.

Before that sha, they'd have problems about contributions in the house!!
(my grandma told me this story) she was there when it happened. Just like what your mom and dad told you, their response was the same ( he's the man of the house bla bla)

so I think you should talk things out, this is not even a ground for divorce.

no sane wife nowadays won't contribute to their homes.

Anoymus:
Thanks for your input bro. And as for the question you asked, she is trying, surprises me with gift once a while but I don't think she would be an enduring type when the chips are down. I have had instances where I spent 15k (drugs inclusive) to remove her troublesome decay tooth just 3 days after I gave her 4k to make her hair. She complained saying the 4k won't be enough for the style that she wants to make. Had to add 1500 before she happily hugged me and gave me a peck. Person wey I spend 15k to commot tooth 3 days after the hair incident. Thought she would be greatful and cut her cloth according to their cloth instead of nagging.. But according to her, she loves me very much and I do too

Bro....that girl loves your money, period.... I have experienced this....they appear all lovin and caring when the funds are flowing.... See eh, form broke for 3 months and observe her behavior, while at it....watch how she complains and how she talks to you.... There you have your answer but if I'm the one, I'll dump her sorry ass and move on.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Leave that girl or you would have a premium tears in future .... Trust me

RomanGreen:
Bro....that girl loves your money, period.... I have experienced this....they appear all lovin and caring when the funds are flowing.... See eh, form broke for 3 months and observe her behavior, while at it....watch how she complains and how she talks to you.... There you have your answer but if I'm the one, I'll dump her sorry ass and move on.

a bottle of hero bear foor u

Dalil8:
You just quoted a dude with hairy balls.

Hahahahaha, are you kidding me

My Guy, Be A Man Atleast 4 Once. Why U Dey Fear? Marry Her. U Shouldn't Av Asked Her 4 D 1st Place. Anyway, Dat Shouldn't Be A Problem To U. Honestly, Dat Kind Of Lady Is Easy To Handle If U Play Ur Card Well.

I didn't read, but please Go ahead. To find a good woman hard.

Shortyy:
This is why advice everyone fend for themselves. To avoid, after all I've done for you. Or what will you give me in return.

Please can you elaborate more on this?

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

take my honest truth , is either you don't truly love this woman or you know you don't truly deserve her , maybe because you have the money to help and you are ready to settle down , she is also coming to the marriage to gain all this for herself to help her life and also have children to raise ....

If all thing been equal in all angles ,this question should not have come up in the 1st place , deep down you know she is accepting the marriage because you have more than enough ,now you don't want to be the complete fool, you want to get something out no matter how .....the simple truth is that a girl that is truly loved will never hesitate to contribute whatever she has just to make sure the burning fire of love the man has on her did not go down, is natural thing about women ,they are that weak ........my advice is if you truly love your wife, bond well with her ,nobody will like to see the person the bonded so well in the soul suffering ,unless real bond never existed in the first place .

Ishilove:
So what exactly is she bringing to the table in this marriage apart from her womb and vagina?

How anyone can have this kind of mentality in this day age boggles the mind. Her kind will nag you to depression if you happen to fall on hard times.

Op, count your teeth with your tongue.

God bless you ma'am.

This is what you do, you get a good place equipt it with the machines and make the place running as you own it(give it a name making you the owner), make her bring a certain amount of money monthly. You own the business and she works for you. Don't start the business in her name. You should as well employ more tailors.

The business will be managed by her but you are the CEO. Is like buying a car in your name then give it to your wife, not as a gift then you can collect it anytime as you wish rather than giving her the money to go buy the car or buying it in her name as a gift.

This life na sense but you can't be too wise though.

Don't let anyone guilt trip you into marrying such selfish and unreasonqble mindset.

I'm surprsied that your mother supports her views. Many mother in laws are not like that.

She might have been afraid to commit herself and you didn't need to ask so directly. Your mind would tell you if you have a woman who would be there for you through it all.

Why is her father or her mother not investing in her instead? Is it a crime for her mother to buy her the machines since she is not yet married?

You don't sound reluctant enough at the idea of losing her. Do you not love her? You seem til comfortable discarding her for this reason. It is worth discarding her but I expect you to sound very unhappy to do so.

Even if one's flesh and blood invests, it is for a reason. To improve their family and have peace of mind.

You also contacted too many people on the issue. You didn't try to discuss further with your babe and be sure of her stand. You called both parents just like that. Please don't be so fast to do such after marriage.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

oga marry and invest on her, forget financial returns but be rest assured u would save urself the headache of her always asking for Undies, clothings, hair wig, owambe , cream and all those women financial need..

My mum is a salary earner in 6digit but my dad don't really worry himself with that, he does everything for the family, even buying her a car on top.. mum only spend money on creams, toothpaste, soap, asoebi for owambe party , party cloth for her and her husband, help her relatives financially and that's all

Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off

most of you lots have comprehension problem...

danilmo:
oga marry and invest on her, forget financial returns but be rest assured u would save urself the headache of her always asking for Undies, clothings, hair wig, owambe , cream and all those women financial need..

My mum is a salary earner in 6digit but my dad don't really worry himself with that, he does everything for the family, even buying her a car on top.. mum only spend money on creams, toothpaste, soap, asoebi for owambe party , party cloth for her and her husband, help her relatives financially and that's all

whats your dad job!?

At op, one of the best thing to do as an husband is to invest in your wife without expecting any financial responsibility from them. While growing up, sit down and go through your memory lane. You will realize how much your mum spent buying small small things that we think is insignificant. Moreover, when you are lacking at any point in time your wife will naturally support you under the pretence that she's borrowing you. Seemed you don't have a sister or probably you never lived with an uncle or aunt. If you do, that's how women are

Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off

u mumu die

Shortyy:
This is why advice everyone fend for themselves. To avoid, after all I've done for you. Or what will you give me in return.

My sister na so o

No marry her, her mindset no match with our own.
If you do you'll regret.
She would expect you to assist with house chores though

lequama10:
whats your dad job!?

civil servant

NengiWIDEtoto:
u mumu die

No be small, i wonder how d guy go dey look her..... after them go preach gender equality.

adekal001:
At op, one of the best thing to do as an husband is to invest in your wife without expecting any financial responsibility from them. While growing up, sit down and go through your memory lane. You will realize how much your mum spent buying small small things that we think is insignificant. Moreover, when you are lacking at any point in time your wife will naturally support you under the pretence that she's borrowing you. Seemed you don't have a sister or probably you never lived with an uncle or aunt. If you do, that's how women are

Settle her up with that kind of money and throwey face? Okay oo