₦airaland Forum

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

My brother, let me advise you.
First of all, are you ready to get married?
If the answer is yes, then listen.
The question you asked the lady is the most irresponsible question to ask a woman and especially at this point.
Secondly, bringing this to ur mother's attentions shows un-manliness and a man not yet capable to handle his family affairs.
What if your mother happened to be one of those women that belived that their daughter inlaws, should be asslickers. She would've condemned ur to be wife and u start from the beginning to look for another woman.

Now listen, I think you should be praying for more opened doors and the strength to make more money.
When u have all the money you want, will u be asking your wife which of the family financial responsibilities she will undertake.
Real men feel happy when they are able to provide everything their family need.
Real men don't ask their wives how much did she make from her business or have u received ur salary.

Women are not wired to take care of family financial responsibilities just the same way men are not wired to take care of family domestic chores.
A man will prefer to stay under the sun to make money to sitting in the house baby-sitting his child vice versa.

Never ask your wife which financial responsibility will she take up. When the money comes, she will definitely help out i the family and you will be happy. Never tell her to come and account for money she makes from her business.
Open the business for her and take ur eyes off from it.

Let me tell you this.
When I met my wife, she was in her final year in the university. We started courting. I noticed that she has this flare for a particular biz. She went for service. Without her knowing, I secured a big shop for her. She came back. I told her that, I want her to continue with that biz she was doing as a student but in a bigger way. Took her to the shop I secured. Gave her money to stock it up.
My brother, for many years now, I have never collected a dime from her from that shop. I still from time to time give her No-interest loan to improve the shop and pay back gradually.

The benefits.
Sometimes, when I want to give her money for the family upkeep, she will tell me never to worry that she has some money.
I can't remember the last time I went to market to buy any of my wears. She knows the sizes of everything I wears from undies to corporate wears. She buys them without even asking. She does same for our kids and houshelp.

In some occasions, she had come to tell me that she has paid for all our kids school fees that I should no longer bother about them. That I should concentrate with more serious investments.

My brother, two things u should pray for are:
More money for you and let the woman be a good person.

Asking her that question will frighten and and make her to start hiding her money from you.
So be properly guided.


@Zzor, what do u have to say

Lazy azz Nigerian females

Bro take the money and start another business. Then employ her there.

So you can conveniently sponsor your family.

Is like you are the biggest foooooll I came across 2020 after mumu Biden of the USA. Kai wawa ne jahili

EM123:
thank u my sister , but not in a situation where the man want to share responsibility with the wife , it doesn't make sense to share responsibility with your wife . If you are earning monthly salary and you budgeted money for monthly feeding , if the money finishes before the end on the month, your wife can take it up from there , if your children need some expensis in school and you are not around , your wife don't need to wait for you before footing the bills . For example you lost your job , your wife can sustain the family with her money till you find a new job . That is what she mean by supporting you , not spliting bills at home . What if she split home chores with you?

There's no way she can run the business and house chores. A house help may still be employed, and it's the man that would still pay the house help.

AFvckingAlpha:
The fvck


Niggarr!!


Wahala for who go marry o!


Your sixth-sense is obviously telling you the right thing to do.

My niggarr, I wouldn't tell you what not to do.

The entrepeneur in you is kicking in, I hope you trust your sixth-sense.

I said what I said

Realest niggarr.. Alive! Baba chop knuckles abeg.

My husband never asked me how much I'll be contributing in the marriage, it just came naturally as the marriage progressed. That's how it happens in most marriages, the woman starts to assist with the expenses especially when she sees her husband struggling under the financial pressure.

@Anoymus

What's your girlfriend's age range? If she's between 22-25, she's yet to mature. She still sees herself as a baby girl that should be pampered. If you marry her, she will mature as she grows older especially when the kids come in and your financial responsibilities are tripped. You won't even have to ask her before she starts pitching in. If she's 26 and above with this kind of mentality, you might want to reconsider spending the rest of your life with her. It's women like that send their husbands into early graves.

Anoymus:
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum

Please don't go into marriage, you are just too ................. for marriage.

Others below me can fill the missing word/words.
Gracia

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Marry her and regret later

The mentality is " my money is mine and ur money is ours simple"

Doing anything for such a woman is a waste I mean total waste.

If you insist n marry her, please don't ever go broke bc then u will see her fully

Selfish girls everywhere, breakup with that b***h!!!!
If u don't handle this now, when she becomes financially bouyant, even the chores at home will fall upon you. Be wise bro

You bn dating her, so you should know the kind of person she is and the question wouldn't arise. You will know the one that will naturally help and the one that won't.....

I use to have a girl then whenever she notices that I don't have and she has, she will without my asking transfer or put her own money to my wallet and then I know another that regardless of what she has, she will constantly be looking for means to GET MORE from me..........

So base on what you know about her, take your decision

O.p u get mind o. De list I can do for my gal ma to apply for her online

You have a giving and generous woman. You are most likely her first choice. Same cannot be said for the OP. I will say it again, if a woman cannot move mountains for you, then she does not love you. There is another man out there who she can do anything for, and this man may not even give her anything.

Psoul:
My brother, let me advise you.
First of all, are you ready to get married?
If the answer is yes, then listen.
The question you asked the lady is the most irresponsible question to ask a woman and especially at this point.
Secondly, bringing this to ur mother's attentions shows un-manliness and a man not yet capable to handle his family affairs.
What if your mother happened to be one of those women that belived that their daughter inlaws, should be asslickers. She would've condemned ur to be wife and u start from the beginning to look for another woman.

Now listen, I think you should be praying for more opened doors and the strength to make more money.
When u have all the money you want, will u be asking your wife which of the family financial responsibilities she will undertake.
Real men feel happy when they are able to provide everything their family need.
Real men don't ask their wives how much did she make from her business or have u received ur salary.

Women are not wired to take care of family financial responsibilities just the same way men are not wired to take care of family domestic chores.
A man will prefer to stay under the sun to make money to sitting in the house baby-sitting his child vice versa.

Never ask your wife which financial responsibility will she take up. When the money comes, she will definitely help out i the family and you will be happy. Never tell her to come and account for money she makes from her business.
Open the business for her and take ur eyes off from it.

Let me tell you this.
When I met my wife, she was in her final year in the university. We started courting. I noticed that she has this flare for a particular biz. She went for service. Without her knowing, I secured a big shop for her. She came back. I told her that, I want her to continue with that biz she was doing as a student but in a bigger way. Took her to the shop I secured. Gave her money to stock it up.
My brother, for many years now, I have never collected a dime from her from that shop. I still from time to time give her No-interest loan to improve the shop and pay back gradually.

The benefits.
Sometimes, when I want to give her money for the family upkeep, she will tell me never to worry that she has some money.
I can't remember the last time I went to market to buy any of my wears. She knows the sizes of everything I wears from undies to corporate wears. She buys them without even asking. She does same for our kids and houshelp.

In some occasions, she had come to tell me that she has paid for all our kids school fees that I should no longer bother about them. That I should concentrate with more serious investments.

My brother, two things u should pray for are:
More money for you and let the woman be a good person.

Asking her that question will frighten and and make her to start hiding her money from you.
So be properly guided.

Dalil8:
Add more money to that 1.5m, go for surrogacy and live your life to the fullest. Your mom can help you look after the child or you can get a full time babysitter until the child's older.

You can have as much kids as you want if you have more funds.

At least all your care and money would go directly to your kids instead of that ingrate.

Marriage isn't worth the stress. And never settle for less, cuz you deserve better.

Three gbosaaaaa for u baba, marriage this day isn't worth the damn stress all thanks to this bitches we HV nowadays are something else. I cant stress myself with marriage, that lady is and will always be an ingrate and unfortunate human being. Op tank God for exposing her

All other members of his family wants him to marry. Ok?

Babinski:
He is thinking in the wrong direction and it is commendable that all others in his family have told him the right thing even without seeing each other.

If you help you wife's business you help yourself. A wife is meant to help and support her husband and that is different from being a "co-husband" that the OP is asking for.

lanre9ja:
She's right, u are the man, she can only help when it necessary

Are you normal?

i dont think u would want your wife to ask u for every damn thing she needs like money for matches or money for cream and all of that. Unknown to you, she might actually send her parents or siblings money, contributes by getting stuffs too for the home without u knowing but telling a woman you will do this while i do this to me isn't necessary especially if u are capable of fending for the family yourself. A wise woman would know when and what do with whatever she gets without u clearly stating it for her.

Martini101:
As far as you don’t encounter a prolonged hard time during the course of the marriage to her, this one shouldn’t be an issue if the earlier mentioned qualities are maintained and improved on.
NB: Don’t expect to meet a perfect person.

You didn't answer his question really ?

Shortyy:
This is why advice everyone fend for themselves. To avoid, after all I've done for you. Or what will you give me in return.

Did you understand the scenario at all ?

Since she won't be beneficial to the family after investing such amount of money for her to start up a business, it will be wise for you not to bother investing such money. She should be a house wife or she can go & look for a job.

is she a yoruba woman if she is a yoruba woman it will end in premium tears

she must be a yoruba woman that is how they behave

You shouldn't have asked her that question..... Truly, a man takes responsibility of his home. The woman can only render little help to assit the home.... get married to her and if the time comes, she will render the help she can but you asking her what her responsibility would be after marriage sucks...... Seriously your mindset is dark.

If you keep up with this mindset then you are a waste...

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Don't get me wrong, old age is not a sign of wisdom, experience has taught me that. Your father advised based on his the knowledge of the 80s, which was not a problem then. As for the two women, what do you expect? What do they know about finance?

Even if a woman is the sole bread winner of the house, it is easier for her to get assistance from any angle, so they will never understand what a man goes through providing for both his immediate family and the extended families.

Listening to them is very dangerous, cos at the end, the same women will accuse you of not being man enough. For you to think this way means you are a good businessman, oga...continue thinking towards that part; use your head.

If you marry a gal with such mentality, in this present Nigerian economy with a 14% inflation rate, you will die before the age if 55. No offense, but it is the truth!

The parents support the position of the girl. These are the same people that will always be biased in support of the girl in future when problems arise.

Sit the girl down and discuss what you want. You need to have a written contract before you waste your money on her. Your money should be a loan that must be repayed or let her go and get a job as a hair dresser. Her father should give her the money to open the saloon.

Marriage no be by force.
There are many unmarriageable girls roaming the streets. Don't go and marry slay queen or gold digger hoping that she will change after marriage. Many of these married women don't contribute money to support their husband. The moment the man loses his job, they will run away.

You don’t need to be a fool all the time, try and use your senses small

Somebody like you can’t survive in the western world because it is 50/50 over there

Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

You are thinking in the right direction. Forget about marriage and enjoy a peaceful and rewarding single life. Women are not worth the effort and investment. These selfish, entitled and brutal ingrates are not worth it bro. Too bad your father has been cùcked by your mum; such is the fate of blue-pill men bro.

Remove your mind from your womans money.

You're a Nigerian man.

Z zor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off

It's not your money in this case
He is investing in her, he needs to reap from his investments
Bitccches every where I go

Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off

Mumu

Snaagg:
Are you destined to be unfortunate?
what's the point of marrying her? what do you stand to gain?

If your duty is to provide and feed her and her poverty-stricken family members, what is her own duty to you?

To born children..