₦airaland Forum

Mowaconfused:
I've been dating this girl for close to 2 years now, she's everything i prayed for in a woman. Everything is going on fine between us until early this year I noticed she has changed, she said i complain too much, i nag etc I thought i'm the one with the problem i work on myself but the problem still persist, we had issues almost every week and i said to myself that something is wrong somewhere and I promise i'm going to check her phone when next she come over to my place so when she came i went through her WhatsApp and i see that she's being having an affair with an older man (over 50 years and he's not based in Nigeria) I confronted my girlfriend about what i saw and she said she's just playing games with the man that they met online and she can't marry an old man, i didn't believe her but she cried and cried that day i forgive her and we continue the relationship. She used to tell me that she's going to port to recieve some stuffs and i always ask her who is sending the stuffs and she said her brother I believe her because one of her brothers is based in South Africa and I noticed that anytime it remain a day to go to port to recieve those stuffs we always have issues, it has happened thrice and I know that something is not right, I don't know know maybe I'm the one over reacting so I call the shipping company that because she always send me the shipping company's message when they ask her to come receive the stuffs and when i call the company and i asked if they do ship from South Africa they said No that they only ship from USA and Canada, i know for sure that the old man is the only one she has in USA I ended the call with the shipping company and i confronted her again about who do send her stuffs she said her brother and i told her that the shipping company is not shipping from South Africa then how come her brother is sending stuffs using that company she said she didn't know about that all she know is that her brother is sending stuffs and she go to Port to clear it, since then I've started doubting her and I didn't trust her anymore, I act as if everything is right between us and i told her we must find a way to see this week, she came over to my place yesterday she didn't act strange everything is going well until she's dragging something with me and she mistakenly use that man's name to call my name, I told her to start talking now and she said she didn't have anything in mind to say that mistakenly calling someone's else name doesn't mean she's dating the man that she already told me. She showed me the man's chat and i saw that the man has been the one sending all those stuffs, she apologised and she said she doesn't want to hurt me that's why she hide everything from me. I called her younger sister and she told me everything about the man, they've never seen each other physically, the man has been sending money to her, sending her alot of stuffs, dress, hair, TV, phone, he got her sister a laptop too and their mom also know about it. Where i'm confused now is that my girlfriend still insist she can't marry this man and her sister also testify to it that it's only the money and the gifts he do send to her that's why she's with him, she's having feelings for this man i know that for sure. We talked last night when she get home and i told her that I've known everything about the man so no more lies again and i asked her to choose between the man and i, she chose me 3 times and he asked me what i want her to do, I told her to tell that man she's done and she said she will just block him and delete his contact, I said no she must tell the man the reason she's blocking him she agree and she screen record and sent it to me. My question now is that can I still go ahead in this relationship, Have you ever been in this situation before, if you are in my shoes what will you do? I just need people's view.
Cc:

pocohantas
Ishilove
Baddiefreaky
Zzor
Seanwilliam
Bukatayne
CalliDora1

pcguru1:
Eya you only help when the victim is a woman, that's not fair nau. The young man needs help

TrueHeart365:
Bro, first get your head out of that punna. You need to realize that your girlfriend has a sugar daddy while in a committed relationship with you and this disqualifies her as marriage material.

What you need to do is find another girl to date and p1mp this your current girlfriend..

Instead of discouraging her, let her carry on since her family is in support. What you should be doing is getting your share of the goodies.

She's using you for sex while the sugar daddy is paying the bills. You need to start taking from her as compensation for all the sperm and energy you've wasted on her.

Why are men of these days so weak and puzsy whipped so easily?

CalliDora1:
Sorry just seeing this now.

With all this evidences you're still asking if you should continue with her? Mr Man, run. Shes not a wife material. If after being caught and forgiven the first time she still went back collecting things from him then she's a backstabber and not worth it one bit.

You don't even need to give her a second chance cos I mean... Anything that will make a woman begin to see another man while in a working relationship, means the former is no longer needed or is just serving a figure boyfriend.

Just let her be. Because if you overlook it now, in marriage, I can assure you, she'll do worse. Girls who don't see anything wrong in having more than one boyfriend will always cheat in marriage. Take it from me.


Cc. Mowaconfused.

NobleDeSage001:
The truth is that if the man were to be in Nigeria, she would have been cheating on you with him.
If by any means the man arrives Nigeria, be sure that your girl will be camped somewhere with him for the during he will stay in Nigeria.
Men hardly shower goodies on ladies for nothing.

If you are not ready to marry her yet, then, you may simply take a walk and avoid all these dramas.
Even if the girl is poor, she can decide to be contented with whatever you give her rather than receiving gifts every now and then.

Most gifts men give to ladies are like loans which will be repayed sometime later. Of course, you know how they usually pay back, don't you?

Mowaconfused:
Thank you so much for this piece

Zzor:
Not so, I was tired to type

pcguru1:
I'm just teasing you, the guy knows the answer he wants, he just being too sentimental. I love and respect my babe not to entertain nonsense and if she entertains nonsense I walk out, I know my worth.

czarr:
see as you use your bad belle spoil her helper.
her helper i dollars o.

instead make you tell am say make she tell am say you be her brother, make him arrange make you jand.

dat year e get one girl wey i dey fvck, one big man dey pursue am, i just tell am say make i accompany am go see the man for shoprite as her brother, omo if you see the goodies and money wey dat man give me ehn.

Mowaconfused:
I've been dating this girl for close to 2 years now, she's everything i prayed for in a woman. Everything is going on fine between us until early this year I noticed she has changed, she said i complain too much, i nag etc I thought i'm the one with the problem i work on myself but the problem still persist, we had issues almost every week and i said to myself that something is wrong somewhere and I promise i'm going to check her phone when next she come over to my place so when she came i went through her WhatsApp and i see that she's being having an affair with an older man (over 50 years and he's not based in Nigeria) I confronted my girlfriend about what i saw and she said she's just playing games with the man that they met online and she can't marry an old man, i didn't believe her but she cried and cried that day i forgive her and we continue the relationship. She used to tell me that she's going to port to recieve some stuffs and i always ask her who is sending the stuffs and she said her brother I believe her because one of her brothers is based in South Africa and I noticed that anytime it remain a day to go to port to recieve those stuffs we always have issues, it has happened thrice and I know that something is not right, I don't know know maybe I'm the one over reacting so I call the shipping company that because she always send me the shipping company's message when they ask her to come receive the stuffs and when i call the company and i asked if they do ship from South Africa they said No that they only ship from USA and Canada, i know for sure that the old man is the only one she has in USA I ended the call with the shipping company and i confronted her again about who do send her stuffs she said her brother and i told her that the shipping company is not shipping from South Africa then how come her brother is sending stuffs using that company she said she didn't know about that all she know is that her brother is sending stuffs and she go to Port to clear it, since then I've started doubting her and I didn't trust her anymore, I act as if everything is right between us and i told her we must find a way to see this week, she came over to my place yesterday she didn't act strange everything is going well until she's dragging something with me and she mistakenly use that man's name to call my name, I told her to start talking now and she said she didn't have anything in mind to say that mistakenly calling someone's else name doesn't mean she's dating the man that she already told me. She showed me the man's chat and i saw that the man has been the one sending all those stuffs, she apologised and she said she doesn't want to hurt me that's why she hide everything from me. I called her younger sister and she told me everything about the man, they've never seen each other physically, the man has been sending money to her, sending her alot of stuffs, dress, hair, TV, phone, he got her sister a laptop too and their mom also know about it. Where i'm confused now is that my girlfriend still insist she can't marry this man and her sister also testify to it that it's only the money and the gifts he do send to her that's why she's with him, she's having feelings for this man i know that for sure. We talked last night when she get home and i told her that I've known everything about the man so no more lies again and i asked her to choose between the man and i, she chose me 3 times and he asked me what i want her to do, I told her to tell that man she's done and she said she will just block him and delete his contact, I said no she must tell the man the reason she's blocking him she agree and she screen record and sent it to me. My question now is that can I still go ahead in this relationship, Have you ever been in this situation before, if you are in my shoes what will you do? I just need people's view.
Cc:

pocohantas
Ishilove
Baddiefreaky
Zzor
Seanwilliam
Bukatayne
CalliDora1

frozen70:
Well in as much as you are protecting your interests, her family interests is equally involved and need to be considered too

If the man has been sending things to her and the family acknowledged that, it's possible she is doing it with the interest of her family

In that case you are left with a decision to end the relationship let her go ahead with the man so that she and the family will keep benefiting from the man, am sure they have not benefited anything from you for the years you guys have been

So if you are ready to marry her, go to her parents and do the needful then after the marriage, even if its introduction, let her be aware that she is married now thereafter you can compel her to make a call to the man in your presence and tell the man the truth that she is married now

I said the above because you don't have to stop her from getting the goodies from the man to them, yet you are not doing anything to show that you are getting married to her

In other words, you can give her a break to sort herself with the man before you guys can continue whatever you have with her

Zzor:
Walk out like it's easy,that's how you guys boast but later you feel the hit more.I know your type

Mowaconfused:
I'm not too naive as you said. She screen record everything to me yesterday, she told the man she's done that she have someone she's dating she blocked and deleted the man's contact. She's still begging me not to leave her and that's why I'm confused

czarr:
see as you use your bad belle spoil her helper.
her helper i dollars o.

instead make you tell am say make she tell am say you be her brother, make him arrange make you jand.

dat year e get one girl wey i dey fvck, one big man dey pursue am, i just tell am say make i accompany am go see the man for shoprite as her brother, omo if you see the goodies and money wey dat man give me ehn.

Zzor:
I don't have much to say,anything these my ogas you mentioned asked you to do is the right thing to do lol

Mowaconfused:
I've been dating this girl for close to 2 years now, she's everything i prayed for in a woman. Everything is going on fine between us until early this year I noticed she has changed, she said i complain too much, i nag etc I thought i'm the one with the problem i work on myself but the problem still persist, we had issues almost every week and i said to myself that something is wrong somewhere and I promise i'm going to check her phone when next she come over to my place so when she came i went through her WhatsApp and i see that she's being having an affair with an older man (over 50 years and he's not based in Nigeria) I confronted my girlfriend about what i saw and she said she's just playing games with the man that they met online and she can't marry an old man, i didn't believe her but she cried and cried that day i forgive her and we continue the relationship. She used to tell me that she's going to port to recieve some stuffs and i always ask her who is sending the stuffs and she said her brother I believe her because one of her brothers is based in South Africa and I noticed that anytime it remain a day to go to port to recieve those stuffs we always have issues, it has happened thrice and I know that something is not right, I don't know know maybe I'm the one over reacting so I call the shipping company that because she always send me the shipping company's message when they ask her to come receive the stuffs and when i call the company and i asked if they do ship from South Africa they said No that they only ship from USA and Canada, i know for sure that the old man is the only one she has in USA I ended the call with the shipping company and i confronted her again about who do send her stuffs she said her brother and i told her that the shipping company is not shipping from South Africa then how come her brother is sending stuffs using that company she said she didn't know about that all she know is that her brother is sending stuffs and she go to Port to clear it, since then I've started doubting her and I didn't trust her anymore, I act as if everything is right between us and i told her we must find a way to see this week, she came over to my place yesterday she didn't act strange everything is going well until she's dragging something with me and she mistakenly use that man's name to call my name, I told her to start talking now and she said she didn't have anything in mind to say that mistakenly calling someone's else name doesn't mean she's dating the man that she already told me. She showed me the man's chat and i saw that the man has been the one sending all those stuffs, she apologised and she said she doesn't want to hurt me that's why she hide everything from me. I called her younger sister and she told me everything about the man, they've never seen each other physically, the man has been sending money to her, sending her alot of stuffs, dress, hair, TV, phone, he got her sister a laptop too and their mom also know about it. Where i'm confused now is that my girlfriend still insist she can't marry this man and her sister also testify to it that it's only the money and the gifts he do send to her that's why she's with him, she's having feelings for this man i know that for sure. We talked last night when she get home and i told her that I've known everything about the man so no more lies again and i asked her to choose between the man and i, she chose me 3 times and he asked me what i want her to do, I told her to tell that man she's done and she said she will just block him and delete his contact, I said no she must tell the man the reason she's blocking him she agree and she screen record and sent it to me. My question now is that can I still go ahead in this relationship, Have you ever been in this situation before, if you are in my shoes what will you do? I just need people's view.
Cc:

pocohantas
Ishilove
Baddiefreaky
Zzor
Seanwilliam
Bukatayne
CalliDora1

femi4:
Why do you wanna stay in a relationship that lacks respect, trust and full of lies. Doesn't make sense

pcguru1:
Thank you very much Zzor seems to think otherwise no right thinking man will condone such, I'm beginning to suspect we are dialoguing with either teenagers or village people.

tosinhtml:
Excellent Post, so in conclusion the man is helping her family financially and they know he is 50 years and they are fine with that. Great!

Poster (mowaconfused), If you know you cannot cater for her family and financial needs, it's better to take your leave & move on.

This is what I keep emphasising online & offline that no one should date women from poor families. NO DISRESPECT to these women but they are not capable of loving you, not because they are evil or self centered but ONLY a person who has eaten 3 square meals with a family that has a good roof over their head can fall in love. At this point they are just trying to survive and they would take money even from a dwarf just to keep them afloat.

A woman who is barely trying to survive cannot love you, It is obvious that the money you are giving her is not enough.

Even if you go ahead to tell the Family you want to marry their daughter, can you provide for her like the Man in America or Canada?

Please move on OP.

femi4:
Zzor is in her twenties, what does she knows about relationship