Mariangeles:


I don't know about the others, but in my tribe (Igbo), that's how things are done.
You don't go to your in-laws bare handed.
It is not an act to be proud of.

Minemrys:

n0t the first time he was visiting. See ehn, you people should be c0nsiderate. Even if it's the 1st visit, n0thing should be expected. Every man has a life to live.

shantti:


Madam, do u know u are senseless, What brought pussy to this issue, wow, so you cant offer a guy anything apart from sex, sex that is everywhere, I used to quarrel with guys that says that the only thing women have to offer in this life is sex, now ive seen their reason. For the record sex is a mutual agreement, anything outside that is rape.

BOSMANARIS:



This is totally different to the main discussion. Wonder if you actually read the topoc of Discussion before typing these.

Your uncle buying his wife stuffs I different from a boyfriend visiting his prospective mother-in-law and the woman expecting him to buy things everytime he visits.

Boyfriend o! Not husband yet.
Abi, no be this lady of this generation that can wake up tomorrow and cook up a story not to marry the guy

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

chris51:




You are wrong and a compound FOOL.
Your mother's behaviour is not pleasing either. I think she values gift more than good character.
The young man's behaviour is that of a decent person. I don't think you deserve a decent man.
Your mother is welcome to an robber son in law who can afford to give her gifts

Mariangeles:





Let me ask you this question as nwaafo Igbo; can you visit your in-laws empty handed?

Answer honestly...

Fiscus105:



Going by barbarous you wrote up thr, Its is clearly shown you will soon enter market naked, you are going through most difficult time in ur life. your mind is seriously troubled, I pray God will see you through.

No need point of order again.

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

deltateam:



You still don't get it. It's fiance not boyfriend.

For you to be called a fiance, you have engaged the woman and if this little issue of gift or no gift will cause a rift between you two, it clearly means they are incompatible.

People have different values and you try to be in relationship with people who share more of the same values with you.

BOSMANARIS:


Fiance is an advanced way of calling boyfriend.

Haven't you heard of a wedding been cancelled just some days to go? If that could happen, who says theirs can't?

My point here is, the Mum shouldn't have complained at all and the lady was wrong not to have defended her guy if truly and genuinely, she loves her.

Joyrise:
.

Traceey, you are not too wrong but you should not have told ur fiance what your mum said. Though we are African and this days men/women are reasoning like westerners, the could be an influence of this day social media on ur would-be-man. I will not support the man coming to your house especially willing to spend time with your mum empty handed. it is lack of respect. He should not also have even taken any drink from ur mum knowing fully well he didn't come with any neither and should have explained to your mum that he was coming from somewhere so he didnt even know he would find himself and would send her gift through you.

It only shows your man might be a stingy type and a self-pride man. For me, If he wants you, he would come back and if you go to him he will feel you are begging for love.

Many people on this platform contributing to marital issues are babies and some are too young with no experience at all about life.
So they call you any name they like.

Just try be yourself and pray for God's intervention. It might also be a red flag as per your man's attitude. He has no regard for your mum.

Remson23:
I deeply feel irritated at reading this. Simply put, you have to change your impaired mentality. What you are fighting your boyfriend for was what I got embarrassed for doing. I regretted doing it and it still pains me anytime I remember. For clarity sake, let me share my own little experience when I visited my girlfriend's family for the first time: I went to their place on a Saturday evening. I met only my girlfriend and two of her siblings at home. She welcomed and offered me some drinks but I didn't take anything. I was told to wait for her parents that they would join us shortly. After about 45 mins her mum came back from a ceremony she went and later, her dad. My girlfriend knew that I might have a plan of giving them something but she begged me not to do anything of sort - as she found it unnecessary and ridiculous. I didn't yield to her plea. When I was about leaving, I brought out some new 500 notes (about 10k) that I purposely earmarked for the aim of giving her parents. When I handed the money to her father in the presence of the mother and my girlfriend, my girlfriend frowned immediately and felt so embarrassed that she covered her face. Her father asked why I gave them money. He blatantly told me that it was not needed. He told me to keep my money. He and the mother said to me that from their thorough observations, they like me and my personality. They gave me some words of encouragement about my life and career. They told me to always report their daughter to them anytime she does me wrong..... and that they would not spare her if found guilty. Finally, they prayed for me and told me to wait till we are ready to get married before bringing anything for them. Although I liked how they showed support for us but I still felt so embarrassed. After my meeting with them, my girlfriend was so upset with me. She asked me why I still went ahead to give them something despite the fact that she had earlier told me not to. I apologized to her and promised not to do that again. Her parents still call me till now and we still keep in touch. I pray never to have any romantic affair with someone like the OP. It would be so frustrating and annoying.

Remson23:
I deeply feel irritated at reading this. Simply put, you have to change your impaired mentality. What you are fighting your boyfriend for was what I got embarrassed for doing. I regretted doing it and it still pains me anytime I remember. For clarity sake, let me share my own little experience when I visited my girlfriend's family for the first time: I went to their place on a Saturday evening. I met only my girlfriend and two of her siblings at home. She welcomed and offered me some drinks but I didn't take anything. I was told to wait for her parents that they would join us shortly. After about 45 mins her mum came back from a ceremony she went and later, her dad. My girlfriend knew that I might have a plan of giving them something but she begged me not to do anything of sort - as she found it unnecessary and ridiculous. I didn't yield to her plea. When I was about leaving, I brought out some new 500 notes (about 10k) that I purposely earmarked for the aim of giving her parents. When I handed the money to her father in the presence of the mother and my girlfriend, my girlfriend frowned immediately and felt so embarrassed that she covered her face. Her father asked why I gave them money. He blatantly told me that it was not needed. He told me to keep my money. He and the mother said to me that from their thorough observations, they like me and my personality. They gave me some words of encouragement about my life and career. They told me to always report their daughter to them anytime she does me wrong..... and that they would not spare her if found guilty. Finally, they prayed for me and told me to wait till we are ready to get married before bringing anything for them. Although I liked how they showed support for us but I still felt so embarrassed. After my meeting with them, my girlfriend was so upset with me. She asked me why I still went ahead to give them something despite the fact that she had earlier told me not to. I apologized to her and promised not to do that again. Her parents still call me till now and we still keep in touch. I pray never to have any romantic affair with someone like the OP. It would be so frustrating and annoying.

Nellsworld:
People that is commenting are either naive or been stupid sorry to say, that her fiance was so wrong, in Africa, it is courtesy to bring at least a bottle of wine when u are visiting ur inlaw for the first time, even when i met my fiance mother, i did the same, that's the culture, so if it was her dad that guy was going to meet, he for just go empty like dat, i don't know if he was trained or taught the tradition

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

deltateam:


You are no different from op's fiance.

Reason being you didn't listen to her.

That confirms my assertion that different families have different values and you get messed up when you don't listen to your partner who understands and knows her family values more than you.

abuhusna1:

I will never marry in your family.

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

BOSMANARIS:


But bro, the OP didn't tell her own fiance to must go to see her parents with some gifts at hand o.
And to make this thing clearer, the guy has been visiting before this very last one and has been going with gifts.

The mother isn't considerate and the OP so not seriously.

Do they know the financial status of the guy or it is now a crime to go visit your lady's family when you've got no gift to give?

deltateam:


Didn't you read where the fiance said, her presence was irrelevant. Does it mean anything to you?

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

deltateam:


Didn't you read where the fiance said, her presence was irrelevant. Does it mean anything to you?

You sought your fiancee advice, she gave, you disregarded.

Her fiance never came straight, she sensed he might fvck up and told him she wasn't around. He waved it off and still came and fvcked up. Something her instincts saw through.

People will understand better when they read in between the lines.

oshorstan:
This is why I don't like public opinion. everybody likes to justify his actions. If you go to a shrine, won't u go with money? if u go to church, won't u pay offering? if you are going to orphanage home, won't u go with food and money? So why will a full grown man visit the MIL without going with common bread of 250 , or give her at least #500.Those of u hailing the man are hypocrites, do u know why? because u won't dare to try it to your MIL. You have disrespected her , make amends and do the needful. do u think it is easy to marry someone else daughter? Even our Jesus said, "Give what belongs to Caesar to Caesar" I will end it here.