₦airaland Forum

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate............

Its not everything (I'm tempted to say 'anything') a woman says that a man should take to heart else u give urself brain tumor.

Women speak from purely a place of emotion. She can say one (good/bad) thing and mean/act out d exact opposite.

On d 'logical' scale, almost all women are children, and to expect a child to reason logically like an adult may just be asking for too much.

Even d Holy Scriptures understands their fickleness, that's why the husband is commanded to love (not reason with) the wife.

This is ur cross, may God help u to carry it successfully.
Once u have it at d back of ur mind dt, despite her age, u are figuratively dealing with a child (baby sef) at heart, u'll be able to accommodate her excesses.

united4men:
If you were to react to the words that comes out of the mouth of some women when they're angry, many people would have committed murder. But that's why people always preach patience when you're about going into marriage, this is one of the cases where you really need to apply it. Let go of the memory of those words so you can stay happy

Then they should think before they talk.

Not coming back to apologize when you could have avoided what caused that issue in the first place.

Omihanifa:
I think you allowed your wife to see you finish

How can you be escorting her to go and pee and also escort her back when she's done peeing
Which kind love be that one

As regards the things she said to you via SMS and verbal exchange. All I can say is that you have a snake over your roof.

Hahahahahaha are you sure

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

I pray that God will let you see my message and take the advice fully. A WOMAN IN ANGER OR THAT WANT TO CREATE A SCENE IS THE SAME WITH A Maad MAN. IF YOU EVER WANT TO BE HAPPY, DON'T EVER LET ANYWORD FROM YOUR WIFE BOTHER YOU AGAIN. ELSE, YOU WILL EVEN COMMIT MURDERBOR SUICIDE. FORGIVE HER AND LOVE HER BACK AS IF SHE NEVER SAID THOSE THINGS. PEOPLE CAN CALL YOU A FOOL BUT YOU WILL BE HAPPY YOU DID.

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

Carrying those word in your heart will harm you, speak it out, talk to her you can even invite her people

luvmijeje:
I deh tire for marriage wahala.

How dare you leave your house for 4 days in order to punish your wife. Please put yourself in her shoe. You were willing to destroy your marriage because of your pride. The way you couldn't forget her hurtful words is the same way she will never get to trust you again.

Any marriage without trust is dead. You have a bigger issue than the words she spoke against you.

you are a lady I guess

I can be anything but what I cannot be is to stay with a passive aggressive partner. I don't grasp the concept of punishing your partner for something by using extreme actions. You wont beat the person, but you start exhibiting some questionable reactions. Why won't she assume something strange is going on?. On her own part, she should try to be more sensitive to you by examining where your pain point is coming from. But, the minute I sight that behavior in a man, anyone really, I am the first to run.

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

Sometimes we women tend to say crazy things when we are angry but seriously don't mean it..you both will be fine..I am sure she feels very sorry and won't repeat it again.

From your explanation above, I observed that, your wife believed that the relationship is all about her alone and the responsibilities yours to bear. Standing up for yourself against her manipulative tendencies shattered her pride. Instead of her to tread with caution and accept the new normal.... She continues her manipulations by sending that nasty message to bring you back under her indirect systematic control.

You still need to let her realise the reciprocity of love and mutual respect. Drop some of simpleton habit and put a tough stance on some issues....give clear instructions on how you want things to be done and ask questions if the instructions were not carried out as instructed.

This is not wickedness but will restore sanity to your home front.... After a while, perfect peace with mutual understanding will reign supreme in your home.

I did same and it works perfectly for me.... There's a clear difference between love and weakness.

Oblongata:
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

Your wife loves you, it is natural for a woman to react that way if you torture her. ( by not staying at home is a huge torture to most women). Be rest assured that she does not mean it!

My brother you took it too far!

That aside...

Work on your self esteem first, build your confidence.

It is not what your wife said to you that is really painful to you but it is how you have perceived yourself and allowed words to pierce through you... Believe me you can be stronger than that.

Lastly please forgive your wife! The tongue and the teeth are so close, even so the teeth still bites the tongue once in a while, what can the tongue do? Runaway?

Grab your wife and make sweet love to her in forgiveness, these things happen.

Please I beg to disagree with you. Speaking from a woman's perspective...we only learn the hard way. We take lots for granted esp a man's excess love...some women r never appreciative till they lose what they have..haven said that.

I felt touchy going through your story..but my only advice... please forgive...as hard as it seems.. divorce is never an option. Have a deep talk with and let her understand your hurt...and see if she deeply apologize.

Women.. including me...some r worse gift from God to man but understanding and communication makes life easier..pls bear with her ....we all deserve a second chance
Good luck dear

O. P forget about those people telling you she didn't mean it, what she said about you being handicapped. those words didn't just emanate from the blues or just some spontaneous words, those words about getting married to you out of pity has crossed her mind times without numbers.

Bro Biko no vex

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

Forget those words bc they are nice words compared to what she left unsaid.

Love with ur head not ur heart going forward

Oblongata:
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

Your wife loves you, it is natural for a woman to react that way if you torture her. ( by not staying at home is a huge torture to most women). Be rest assured that she does not mean it!

My brother you took it too far!

That aside...

Work on your self esteem first, build your confidence.

It is not what your wife said to you that is really painful to you but it is how you have perceived yourself and allowed words to pierce through you... Believe me you can be stronger than that.

Lastly please forgive your wife! The tongue and the teeth are so close, even so the teeth still bites the tongue once in a while, what can the tongue do? Runaway?

Grab your wife and make sweet love to her in forgiveness, these things happen.

Bros don't be a MOTIVATIONAL speaker, there are words that can hurt the soul. Why are you telling him to work on his self esteem? If someone you love and claims to love you says such words don't you know at every point it redounds in your head even during happy moments that the love is all a ruse. He has a right to be angry, so letting it out relieves him of the pain he feels inside. He is not superhuman.

I'm sure you married an ikwerre woman.

jagorinho:
There is a general cliche we need to revise, " forgive and forget", people can forgive ( not going for retaliation) but people hardly forget, no matter how we want to twist it, those words by his wife are strong and can break a man's spirit,

let me tell you, her outburst was not instinctively done rather it was cumulative, you cant call your lover handicapped and tell me it was just because you were lost in the heat of the moment, the mere fact she still see her husband as an handicap means the thought has registered on her sub conscious mind for long.

I am not an advocate of broken home but from now on, Op should have a firm grip on his house, being romantic is cool but "see finish " is bad, do not do something you can't replicate everyday for a woman because women do not remember what you have done the previous day,
for you to be warning her severally over a particular thing shows your grip on her is non existent, get a good grip on her!!!

About the text I know it hurts, it is a big betrayal on her part but just see her as another mortal that is fallible, just be careful with some things with her especially extremely sensitive stuffs.

I beg to differ a bit
OP tortured the wife to a point of contemplating suicide if she were to be a weak person
That was a real psychological trauma,
Those hurtful words were the last struggles of a drowning person, anything to make you feel what she was feeling

Afterall when she said she was done with the marriage and you added salt to injury by asking her to suit herself, did she leave you?
Rather she became scared and frantic
Your wife loves you very well,
On the issue of repeating an offence, marriage is a union of two different people, you may not be able to change her, consider taking her for who she is,

Lol, why were you angry, is your uncle not a juju man? accept it n move on biko,

Dont just make a.woman mad, some will pour you boiled water and still offer to stay out the time with you in hospital, when the anger dies down

CalliDora1:
We should also not push people to the wall because the resultant effect of the reaction such as ops wife's, might not be palatable. He pushed her. But in all, she has let go by reconciling with him. He too should learn to let go. Haba!

Marriage is not a rollercoaster ride. So he shouldn't always expect perfection from his spouse and vice versa.

If we should go with your logics, I will say the wife pushed him to the wall too. He stated that she kept doing something he didnt like over and over again. And he said he is someone who dont get angry easily. So, the wife pushed him to the wall too..

In all, we must be careful with the words we say to people. Adults should be tongue responsible. This is one of the reasons some people hit their partners. Words are dangerous.

I am very responsible with my tongue and can never use it anyhow especially on those I love.

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

Let it go...tou have come a long way...she said those words to get back at you...forgive her....move on but be careful.

I don’t blame the OP. I used to be a very very hot tempered person growing up. It was so bad I began to see it as a disability.

I began to learn tolerance. Being tolerant means I have to tolerate what most people wouldn’t. This suddenly became my nature. I have to take a lot and absorb a lot just to prove to myself I’ve changed.

The way the OP handled the situation depicts exactly how I would have handled it if I were in his shoes. I usually give a lot, I mean a lot of warnings before I make good of my threat.

I have a girlfriend who’d leave my television on all through the night. She can leave my tv on concurrently for 3 days ! As a customer on prepaid meter, my consumption skyrocketed.

I brought it to her attention subtly. I suggested we put off all our gadgets from at most 1 am but she wouldn’t. She would simply agree but she’ll leave the Telly On and sleep. Sometimes I wake up at night to turn it off only for her to turn it back ON.

This continued for 4 months until I started scolding her. I didn’t waste time to express my displeasure by shouting at her each time I discovered she’s left it On. She would stop for some days but would continue some days after.

Not until I stopped subscribing and started locking some channels did she learn her lessons.

Sometimes, you have to throw caution to the wind and damn all consequences. I discovered that occasional quarreling and “fights” foster understanding

Guy just forget the talk. You don't take so serious the words of a woman. Most especially, one who is in her feelings; you just smile and keep it moving. She sent you that message to get a reaction from you, but you never gave her the drama she really wanted, and she got to miss you more, to an extent that she tracked you, in order to settle with you. You might not know, but your non reaction tingled something in her brain. You don't give women the fuel they want, going forward.

On a lighter note, since you guys settled, how has the sex being like
Better than before?

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

common tricks women use I never loved you I married you out of pity and they warned me oo you care only about yourself wat have u done for me b4? nothing you only focus on things that have no value you are the most stingy guy I have ever seen

We only heard your story. We haven't heard her's. on all you wrote, you painted yourself a good person. Typical of human being. Bible is the only book that you can find stories of both success and failures. A man will only write about his good times and success but be ashamed to write about his failures.
What am saying is, maybe you did something to her or you've been doing something to her that really hurts her. Think of what you did to her that made her reacted. Ask her calmly why she said those words to you.
Your dealing with family here. Is your job to try everything possible to keep them together.
One thing I know you about people with disabilities, they're tough-hearted. They hardly realize how people think of them.
So put your ish together. your the man. it's your job.

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

Lol, you need some redpill man.. Women are same everywhere... Don't give them space to turn you to house boy even when you are broke. You answered well to her text... She should suit herself. Forget the voice ringing in ur head... Concentrate on making more money for ur kids and download some chilled bottles of Heineken. Maintain your distance as in staying two days away. Romantically tell her you don't want her quarrels again when she ask. I think na over familiarity dey worry her.. Keep distance but dont create vacuum.

Most words spoken in anger are not to be taken lightly, sometimes these are the things we need to say but haven't had the right opportunity to say it.
I put it to you that your wife meant every insult she threw to you.
The best thing for you to do is to just forgive her and let it slide and you have to give her a stern warning that this shouldn't repeat itself.
In every action you take do not think of divorce even if it should happen it should not come from you.
E get why....

salt1:
Don't run away from home, either. Did you see the level of frustration he put her through? He would leave for a different town and stay there for four days without contacting his family. Which responsible father/husband does that for a minor misunderstanding? She didn't commit adultery or steal. She even searched him out and sent people to plead but he still refused at first. I can't live with a person who's not easily placated. Now she drops one unkind word in anger and here he is making a mountain out of it, ignoring his irresponsible conduct which led to her last desperate move.
Op, please grow up!

You forgetting d fact that she keeps repeating an attitude the op hates. That's disrespect if you keep doing what ur spouse doesn't like repeatedly. Anyways wish dem d best.

merieam16:
If u really want a happy home nd u love ur sanity...biko u need to forgive ur wife and let go of those words from ur head.


U do pass urself too....u wan punish woman, u no eat her food or sleep for house omo na bicycle wahala u dey find be dat, e no hard to start

You all should just shut the fuccckk up if you don't know what to say.
I would not forgive an insultive woman,am sure this is not the first time she is spilling those heart cracking words to that man.If a woman ever isults her husband,she never loved him from the heart,she stayed with him because of her own selfish benefits, unknown to the man,a woman that genuinely loves u will fear and respect u like her father.The woman in this picture has her fear,love and respect somewhere else

A man forgive and forget don't behave like a woman that always have record in their heart for ever.
Stop requesting for more advise go and fixed your home, i think the devil wife you know is better than angel side chick that always giving you green light because they are ruining apparatus.

Divorce her. She married you out of pity. Period!

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Her words are really hurtful but nonetheless the story is still one sided. Think we need to hear what the woman has to say too. I urge you not to take her hurtful words to heart, women don't usually think well when they're upset,sad or hurt

Oblongata:
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

Your wife loves you, it is natural for a woman to react that way if you torture her. ( by not staying at home is a huge torture to most women). Be rest assured that she does not mean it!

My brother you took it too far!

That aside...

Work on your self esteem first, build your confidence.

It is not what your wife said to you that is really painful to you but it is how you have perceived yourself and allowed words to pierce through you... Believe me you can be stronger than that.

Lastly please forgive your wife! The tongue and the teeth are so close, even so the teeth still bites the tongue once in a while, what can the tongue do? Runaway?

Grab your wife and make sweet love to her in forgiveness, these things happen.

These things happen my brother..

CalliDora1:
Stop holding on to those words. She said them out of anger and didn't really mean them otherwise she would have made good her threat and not bothered settling with you. Holding on to those words will only keep putting a strain on your marriage and reduce your love for her.

She still loves you. Just forgive and forget.

Lies lies lies, OP what she told you is what was on her mind before and maybe even now. And know that you brought it on yourself, your type are those SIMPs they talk about. However manage her but know where you actually stand with her, you were not her first choice simple