₦airaland Forum

Shokoloko:
1. She sent you a really disrespectful text.
2. In her text she says "Its over". When someone is done they will not bother to announce it. Apparently she isnt done.
3. She was upset when she did not get a reaction from you. I think she still likes you.
4. I am very concerned if the only thing your spouse has done in all the years of marriage is pumping out kids. She doesn't even keep the family well fed and the home clean? She leaves the kids to go their own way once she delivers them?! Strange
5. Does she continuously refer to your disability? If yes, she pities you: no love. If no, it was a one time act of foolishness.
6. Please place your boundaries. She should leave if this is about pity and if it is not she should never refer to your disability again.
7. There are 5 love languages. If you do 150% of four and it is not your spouse's love language it means nothing...so check if the unimaginable things you did for her happiness actually resonate with her.
8. Do not abscond from your own home anymore.
9. Saving your spouse's life is not spectacular - it is expected. Five pints of my blood is in my spouse's body right now. Its not a big deal

deltateam:
Shokoloko this your name nawaoh.

5 pints of your blood? I hope you don't tell him to give you back your blood when he mess up.

Yusufisraelj:
OP

Many have given great suggestions here, I wish you were like me as regards words, but variety brings beauty.

So what I have is to fault you in absconding, when a woman repeats an offense, there is the likelihood that she is feeling she is not really loved by you. When was the last time you did something that she considers an affection of love from you?

You see relationship is about the other person not you, equally you watch what you get in return.

I fault you bkos, you should spare head the direction the house takes and not abscond, equally learn to speak up quickly, showing facial expression is never enough, kill the issue there and then let her know that that should not be repeated.

Go home with a gift, talk to your wife, iron things out, let her know what you want and how like it done and hear her own side to and both of you should commit to doing it for the other, then make sweet love. My brother nothing is as bad as it seems, every marriage problem get solution. Cheers

abimbola74:
Aswear she didn’t mean those words . Women and their mouth like tap water. She just want to hurt you with words and let you feel miserable. Show her this text and tell her you won’t delete that message that it reminds you who she really is and watch how she will cry uncontrollably. Bruh abeg no vex

Shokoloko:
I collect my blood from him at least one night every week and one morning every weekend

Princedapace:
I am not saying that he is perfect. No!
I only told u the reality that he will never forget the words.. I also said adults should be responsible with their tongues that even bible admonished us to do same. U can have misunderstanding with your partner, surely, but be mindful of the words used becus they can never be withdrawn back. I dont know what u are stating though. That adults should go ahead and be abusing their partners anyhow?

Verbal abuse is one of major cause of physical abuse.

The worse is for ur partner to use ur disability to insult u. My dear, such can never be forgotten. It is like a man who married a crippled lady. When they had issues, he told her that 'I dont blame u, I married a crippled lady like u out of pity...'

Lol, that lady will cry for a long time. Or ur partner calling u a prostitute when u are not. My dear, as adults, we should behave well with our tongues, pls.

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

CalliDora1:
I'm telling you, she doesn't mean it. If a woman doesnt love you truly, she won't even be able to bring herself to tell you that..

I remember telling my ex, he looks like aje kpako just to make him stop his akor ( his swag was too much and girls were flocking around him). He came back asking, jgurl, do I really look like kpako? I said yes nau and he just laughed it off saying, "you this girl you won't kill me" because I was still with him despite saying that and we moved on.

abimbola74:
Aswear she didn’t mean those words . Women and their mouth like tap water. She just want to hurt you with words and let you feel miserable. Show her this text and tell her you won’t delete that message that it reminds you who she really is and watch how she will cry uncontrollably. Bruh abeg no vex

CalliDora1:
He's not her first choice but she's stuck with him all these years...
And even if the wife did not mention those things, did the op think shes not aware they are there?

Please guys, this is two fighting and when people are exchanging banters there's no limit to what they can say at that mad instant hence it shouldn't be something that should be used against them after all is calm and settled.

That is why it's good to marry your friend. All these uptight husbands sef. Hm!

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.


My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

Stevenbright:
You know why she is angry with you?
It is because her manipulative tendencies towards you are falling since you know how to handle the situations.

What to do:
Forgive her concerning those words but keep making sure she can't emotionally manipulate you.

lanreHeda:
The fact that you think what you wrote, including the bit about boiled water, is considered to be normal behaviour is scary.

lanreHeda:
Answer truthfully pls. How would you feel if *you* had issues having children and your husband called you barren in anger ?

abimbola74:
Aswear she didn’t mean those words . Women and their mouth like tap water. She just want to hurt you with words and let you feel miserable. Show her this text and tell her you won’t delete that message that it reminds you who she really is and watch how she will cry uncontrollably. Bruh abeg no vex

deltateam:
You'll do well writing books.

I'll like to know if the breakup was mutual since he's your ex now and if you still miss him cos it's often said women don't ever get over their ex.

deltateam:
In za oda room?

lanreHeda:
The fact that you think what you wrote, including the bit about boiled water, is considered to be normal behaviour is scary.

Ezini:
I bet you are not yet married

Marriage isn't a bed of roses
Every marriage has its peculiarities
People don't change people,rather get used to them, that's why it is adviceable to date, so as to know the character you will deal with for the rest of your life
And yes i will repeat it again, an angry woman can do the unthinkable which might be regretted afterwards

luvmijeje:
I deh tire for marriage wahala.

How dare you leave your house for 4 days in order to punish your wife. Please put yourself in her shoe. You were willing to destroy your marriage because of your pride. The way you couldn't forget her hurtful words is the same way she will never get to trust you again.

Any marriage without trust is dead. You have a bigger issue than the words she spoke against you.

Abigarnics01:
Something you and your wife have settled, you still brought it here to social media/public . I wonder how some people do things honestly. This is one reason I don't fancy social media anymore. Sir keep your home away from social media, BE WISE!!!. Nor be everything supposed reach here na . I am not married yet o but this is all I can say biko

Omihanifa:
I think you allowed your wife to see you finish

How can you be escorting her to go and pee and also escort her back when she's done peeing
Which kind love be that one

As regards the things she said to you via SMS and verbal exchange. All I can say is that you have a snake over your roof.

CalliDora1:
I can't and will never answer this question because it's not my portion.

Redirect it to yourself and answer. I'm waiting.