₦airaland Forum

Godoverevery:
i
lol... Normal lady advise....no logic just emotion.
he should talk to her,he doesn't no what she wants? really...... so it should be all about her at the expense of the man right.

what about all the insult he gotso he should still be one begging her after all the insult..nawa ooo
until when you ladies start thinking with brain instead of hole the better ooo.

kalu61:
Men are logical being abd women emotional beings.


Many people have given you the best advice up there.

Overcome your emotions and follow reason. It's hard to do but not impossible.

Your years of commitment, sacrifices and dreams of living with her clouds your memory.

Give other ladies chance to love you. Don't jump into a new relationship now. Give sometime.

WrittyWritter:
Oga..when I mean talk...He will also talk about d insult..and make her know it was uncalled for and how angry he is and I'm sure d lady will apologize..if she doesn't apologize for d insults...her wahala tie wrapper...I did not say he should beg her...abeg use common sense....even if dey don't get back together he will get d closure he needs to move on...when did I say he should beg her ...u will just say u did not understand what I meant by 'talking'...real men and women talk things out...na small children go dey keep grudges as sef say dey go use amcollect food 4 heaven

And we ladies think with our hole..like u guys don't think with dat thing in between your legs

Joetttimua1811:
Good day all I just decide to bring this here to seek matured advise, please don't mind the errors in spellings and construction. I also request that this be taken to FP. It should a bit lengthy but I will try to be brief.

I have been dating this girl since 2011 Feb precisely, though I started asking her out around November 2009 and she finally accepted in Feb 2011. I know you may be wondering why I persist with the long time of refusal, well the answer ain't far as I will not want to go into much details but she's one of the best when you talk of women she's everything a man will want. Let me leave it at that. Upon her acceptance in Feb 2011 we started cos I already met with the mother during the period of asking her out because of gifts I use to buy for her the mother asked her to invite me over

On getting to the house the mother asked me what my intentions are towards her daughter I told her I love the girl and will want to marry her. The mother said well seeing me her spirit accepts me but it's left for her daughter to accept cos she told her she's not said anything to me, she said if her daughter accepts me fine she can't choose husband for her daughter but then all she wants from me is that I the take good care of her daughter and another thing is that the father wants her to go to school to which I agreed to wait for her. Mind you she just finished sec school then i was already working and ok and the age difference between us is 4 years.

By May of that same 2011 I traveled out for an assignment which lasted for 9 months and I returned by January 2012. All these while we had good communication and the relationship was one everyone would wish to have. She eventually got admission that 2012 mind you upon returning back from the assignment I went for we would've done our wedding but there was already an agreement that I wait for her to graduate. I wasn't afraid cos I so much love and trust her.

She was a good girl in school most of her mates and seniors I've spoken with always attest to that. In fact one of the ladies I spoke with said you're lucky to have one of the best. I can vouch for her on that. I wasn't the one that sponsored her education but then I supported cos monthly I send her pocket money and whenever she's in need of anything am always there both morally emotional as the case maybe. I do most of her assignment for her even though we're far apart I just send to her mail and she prints and add cover page.

The relationship was ok no issues all these while, fast forward to 2017 when she graduated and was to go for service, I told her it's time we start our marriage plans she agreed and by March 2018 we did our introduction. She was still serving then, and I started troubling her concerning the wedding to discuss it with the father. In fact during the introduction we requested for list for the marriage proper to which the father said they're going to get back to us.

I continue calling the father he wasn't forth coming cos we're not in same city and base on our work we don't move freely you must obtain permit. When I noticed the father is not forthcoming I had to use the money at hand to complete my building. Now the father's excuse has been that he wants her to get work before she gets married hmm.

I said well let me just give them time since I was able to wait for her all these years the remaining won't be problem. It continued like that till last year I became angree and I told my woman that your father has been insisting on you getting work before you get married is it what you also want?? The major problem I have with my woman as things started getting bad was that she's always like"my mother say, my father say" and I was like at your age 28 you mean you don't have say about your relationship?? She became angree that am talking to her anyhow, she sent me all sort of insultive messages to which I didn't reply any.

But then I was already thinking of leaving her, cos aside the fact that she couldn't make decision on her own she wants me to relocate and live in same city with her parents. And I know if that happens the mother will definitely be in charge of my home cos there's nothing my woman does without consulting the mother.

When she saw that all the messages she sent I didn't reply she started begging that she was just pained about the whole issue I forgave her and we continued but it wasn't as it use to be and when I noticed things weren't working I told her that we should part ways since she can't convince her people for us to get married while she looks for work.

I got the insult I have never gotten the whole of my life from her because of this decision, my thinking was that if I say that to her she may see reasons to try convince her people about us but I got insults upon insults, though I have been told before that I think she's a gentle girl, we may have dated that long but I don't know her. I didn't believe the message but with the insults I started giving the message a thought, mind you she's not a flirt oo, it has been a long distance relationship all the while but then I can still vouch for her cos of the family she came from.

The reason for this write-up is that, since I left her I haven't been able to love any girl, I am not an ugly guy and not too handsome but I am that guy that girls always want to come close to I know of ladies that have said to me I wish I can have you all to my self, I have met ladies that ordinarily I should've gotten married to even as far back 2014 but no matter how you try as a lady to come close I will always tell you I have somebody I want to get married to and they'll back off.

In fact one lady confessed to me that she loved me the moment I told her i am not married but I have a serious relationship that will lead to marriage soonest, she said even married men lie about their status just to get what they want but she loved me cos I was being sincere. Now even with all these people around me I still don't feel or love the way I do for my ex. I don't know what to do.

I still think of her and I don't seem to see any other woman and feel anything for them as I feel for her and recently I feel I want her back. What do I do

naijadrivablog:
2years to toast a girl? Should I tell him


OP, DONT MARRY THAT GIRL, move on!!!!!!

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Isokoson1:
Bros op, see that girl just let her go, if any girl dey involve her words on her parents say her parent say fear that kind girl... That means if her parent tell her say make she kill you,she go kill you, I hate to see girls way dey always say my parent say my parent say... No be say e no good for girls to

Obey Dia parent e good but once you Don reach certain age.. You suppose know wetin you want...

As for her parent seriously dem no try at all.. The man Bleep up.. After all those years..e tell you say make you allow her finish school which you did. .now wetin carry make she get work first..

Some parent will just use Dia own hand and scatter Dia children life...

Bros leave the girl.. If she love you as you say she go come back beg you but that insult way she rain on you e mean say her parent Don tell her to leave you tey tey

DrFunmisticGlow:
i am seeing a lot of red flags here.

You should seek closure and move on.

That babe isnt for you.

It's painful because you invested so much in the relationship. But like a bad investment, you have to let it go.

Aviod dating and focus on healing your broken heart

Joetttimua1811:
Good day all I just decide to bring this here to seek matured advise, please don't mind the errors in spellings and construction. I also request that this be taken to FP. It should a bit lengthy but I will try to be brief.

I have been dating this girl since 2011 Feb precisely, though I started asking her out around November 2009 and she finally accepted in Feb 2011. I know you may be wondering why I persist with the long time of refusal, well the answer ain't far as I will not want to go into much details but she's one of the best when you talk of women she's everything a man will want. Let me leave it at that. Upon her acceptance in Feb 2011 we started cos I already met with the mother during the period of asking her out because of gifts I use to buy for her the mother asked her to invite me over

On getting to the house the mother asked me what my intentions are towards her daughter I told her I love the girl and will want to marry her. The mother said well seeing me her spirit accepts me but it's left for her daughter to accept cos she told her she's not said anything to me, she said if her daughter accepts me fine she can't choose husband for her daughter but then all she wants from me is that I the take good care of her daughter and another thing is that the father wants her to go to school to which I agreed to wait for her. Mind you she just finished sec school then i was already working and ok and the age difference between us is 4 years.

By May of that same 2011 I traveled out for an assignment which lasted for 9 months and I returned by January 2012. All these while we had good communication and the relationship was one everyone would wish to have. She eventually got admission that 2012 mind you upon returning back from the assignment I went for we would've done our wedding but there was already an agreement that I wait for her to graduate. I wasn't afraid cos I so much love and trust her.

She was a good girl in school most of her mates and seniors I've spoken with always attest to that. In fact one of the ladies I spoke with said you're lucky to have one of the best. I can vouch for her on that. I wasn't the one that sponsored her education but then I supported cos monthly I send her pocket money and whenever she's in need of anything am always there both morally emotional as the case maybe. I do most of her assignment for her even though we're far apart I just send to her mail and she prints and add cover page.

The relationship was ok no issues all these while, fast forward to 2017 when she graduated and was to go for service, I told her it's time we start our marriage plans she agreed and by March 2018 we did our introduction. She was still serving then, and I started troubling her concerning the wedding to discuss it with the father. In fact during the introduction we requested for list for the marriage proper to which the father said they're going to get back to us.

I continue calling the father he wasn't forth coming cos we're not in same city and base on our work we don't move freely you must obtain permit. When I noticed the father is not forthcoming I had to use the money at hand to complete my building. Now the father's excuse has been that he wants her to get work before she gets married hmm.

I said well let me just give them time since I was able to wait for her all these years the remaining won't be problem. It continued like that till last year I became angree and I told my woman that your father has been insisting on you getting work before you get married is it what you also want?? The major problem I have with my woman as things started getting bad was that she's always like"my mother say, my father say" and I was like at your age 28 you mean you don't have say about your relationship?? She became angree that am talking to her anyhow, she sent me all sort of insultive messages to which I didn't reply any.

But then I was already thinking of leaving her, cos aside the fact that she couldn't make decision on her own she wants me to relocate and live in same city with her parents. And I know if that happens the mother will definitely be in charge of my home cos there's nothing my woman does without consulting the mother.

When she saw that all the messages she sent I didn't reply she started begging that she was just pained about the whole issue I forgave her and we continued but it wasn't as it use to be and when I noticed things weren't working I told her that we should part ways since she can't convince her people for us to get married while she looks for work.

I got the insult I have never gotten the whole of my life from her because of this decision, my thinking was that if I say that to her she may see reasons to try convince her people about us but I got insults upon insults, though I have been told before that I think she's a gentle girl, we may have dated that long but I don't know her. I didn't believe the message but with the insults I started giving the message a thought, mind you she's not a flirt oo, it has been a long distance relationship all the while but then I can still vouch for her cos of the family she came from.

The reason for this write-up is that, since I left her I haven't been able to love any girl, I am not an ugly guy and not too handsome but I am that guy that girls always want to come close to I know of ladies that have said to me I wish I can have you all to my self, I have met ladies that ordinarily I should've gotten married to even as far back 2014 but no matter how you try as a lady to come close I will always tell you I have somebody I want to get married to and they'll back off.

In fact one lady confessed to me that she loved me the moment I told her i am not married but I have a serious relationship that will lead to marriage soonest, she said even married men lie about their status just to get what they want but she loved me cos I was being sincere. Now even with all these people around me I still don't feel or love the way I do for my ex. I don't know what to do.

I still think of her and I don't seem to see any other woman and feel anything for them as I feel for her and recently I feel I want her back. What do I do

frozen70:
You have tried and patience with all these delays

Go and visit the father with a family member and discuss with him that it's time you conclude your marriage plans with his daughter or you get on with your life and look else where

His response will lead you to your next line of action

frozen70:
You have tried and patience with all these delays

Go and visit the father with a family member and discuss with him that it's time you conclude your marriage plans with his daughter or you get on with your life and look else where

His response will lead you to your next line of action

Jack005:
Imagine rubbish talk! After all the delays and insult?he should still go to her house with a family member? Sense no dey your head I swear.. Op move on jare.

Jack005:
Imagine rubbish talk! After all the delays and insult?he should still go to her house with a family member? Sense no dey your head I swear.. Op move on jare.

Nazgul:
I sincerely feel your pain bro. But what I have to tell you is that when your girls family starts delaying your introduction towards their daughter unnecessarily, it can easily be interpreted to mean that they don't want you to marry their daughter.

Her parents are aware of your relationship, and they told you to wait till she graduates which you did against all odds. Now rather than see you as a responsible in-law, her dad is reluctant in giving you their list, my dear he doesn't want you to wed her.

Finally, the insults your girl gave you speaks volumes. From experience if a loving girlfriend suddenly becomes highly insulting towards you, it means the love and respect she once had for you no longer exists.

My advice? Don't reach out to her, you've done enough, if she's still interested in you, she'll come around, if she isn't, then regardless of how painful its obviously going to be for you, you just have to let go for your own sanity and peace of mind.

Slimslimqq:
op, are u a soldier?
ur lifestyle and ur relationship palava made me think so..

jawalis:
You are confusing yourself

Chii59:
Cooooooks, see this scenario, a 28 yr old "mummy's girl"
OP, your babe is a girl, not a lady, or even a woman. Some people fall in love and can't see anyone else, even if the person they love isn't worthy of the love. I was in your shoes, best thing you can do, is to cut off ALL communication and see how you can MOVE ON.
Or you can keep hanging around, begging her "mummy and daddy" to lend you their girl
It's up to you.

cooooooks:
Smh.

I swear some of our people never grow up.

If they get married and have children, who will raise the children? Her mother?

I feel for the guy, he (according to his post sha), did everything right yet no reward.

cooooooks:
Smh.

I swear some of our people never grow up.

If they get married and have children, who will raise the children? Her mother?

I feel for the guy, he (according to his post sha), did everything right yet no reward.

Chii59:
Cooooooks, see this scenario, a 28 yr old "mummy's girl"
OP, your babe is a girl, not a lady, or even a woman. Some people fall in love and can't see anyone else, even if the person they love isn't worthy of the love. I was in your shoes, best thing you can do, is to cut off ALL communication and see how you can MOVE ON.
Or you can keep hanging around, begging her "mummy and daddy" to lend you their girl
It's up to you.

Joetttimua1811:
Good day all I just decide to bring this here to seek matured advise, please don't mind the errors in spellings and construction. I also request that this be taken to FP. It should a bit lengthy but I will try to be brief.

I have been dating this girl since 2011 Feb precisely, though I started asking her out around November 2009 and she finally accepted in Feb 2011. I know you may be wondering why I persist with the long time of refusal, well the answer ain't far as I will not want to go into much details but she's one of the best when you talk of women she's everything a man will want. Let me leave it at that. Upon her acceptance in Feb 2011 we started cos I already met with the mother during the period of asking her out because of gifts I use to buy for her the mother asked her to invite me over

On getting to the house the mother asked me what my intentions are towards her daughter I told her I love the girl and will want to marry her. The mother said well seeing me her spirit accepts me but it's left for her daughter to accept cos she told her she's not said anything to me, she said if her daughter accepts me fine she can't choose husband for her daughter but then all she wants from me is that I the take good care of her daughter and another thing is that the father wants her to go to school to which I agreed to wait for her. Mind you she just finished sec school then i was already working and ok and the age difference between us is 4 years.

By May of that same 2011 I traveled out for an assignment which lasted for 9 months and I returned by January 2012. All these while we had good communication and the relationship was one everyone would wish to have. She eventually got admission that 2012 mind you upon returning back from the assignment I went for we would've done our wedding but there was already an agreement that I wait for her to graduate. I wasn't afraid cos I so much love and trust her.

She was a good girl in school most of her mates and seniors I've spoken with always attest to that. In fact one of the ladies I spoke with said you're lucky to have one of the best. I can vouch for her on that. I wasn't the one that sponsored her education but then I supported cos monthly I send her pocket money and whenever she's in need of anything am always there both morally emotional as the case maybe. I do most of her assignment for her even though we're far apart I just send to her mail and she prints and add cover page.

The relationship was ok no issues all these while, fast forward to 2017 when she graduated and was to go for service, I told her it's time we start our marriage plans she agreed and by March 2018 we did our introduction. She was still serving then, and I started troubling her concerning the wedding to discuss it with the father. In fact during the introduction we requested for list for the marriage proper to which the father said they're going to get back to us.

I continue calling the father he wasn't forth coming cos we're not in same city and base on our work we don't move freely you must obtain permit. When I noticed the father is not forthcoming I had to use the money at hand to complete my building. Now the father's excuse has been that he wants her to get work before she gets married hmm.

I said well let me just give them time since I was able to wait for her all these years the remaining won't be problem. It continued like that till last year I became angree and I told my woman that your father has been insisting on you getting work before you get married is it what you also want?? The major problem I have with my woman as things started getting bad was that she's always like"my mother say, my father say" and I was like at your age 28 you mean you don't have say about your relationship?? She became angree that am talking to her anyhow, she sent me all sort of insultive messages to which I didn't reply any.

But then I was already thinking of leaving her, cos aside the fact that she couldn't make decision on her own she wants me to relocate and live in same city with her parents. And I know if that happens the mother will definitely be in charge of my home cos there's nothing my woman does without consulting the mother.

When she saw that all the messages she sent I didn't reply she started begging that she was just pained about the whole issue I forgave her and we continued but it wasn't as it use to be and when I noticed things weren't working I told her that we should part ways since she can't convince her people for us to get married while she looks for work.

I got the insult I have never gotten the whole of my life from her because of this decision, my thinking was that if I say that to her she may see reasons to try convince her people about us but I got insults upon insults, though I have been told before that I think she's a gentle girl, we may have dated that long but I don't know her. I didn't believe the message but with the insults I started giving the message a thought, mind you she's not a flirt oo, it has been a long distance relationship all the while but then I can still vouch for her cos of the family she came from.

The reason for this write-up is that, since I left her I haven't been able to love any girl, I am not an ugly guy and not too handsome but I am that guy that girls always want to come close to I know of ladies that have said to me I wish I can have you all to my self, I have met ladies that ordinarily I should've gotten married to even as far back 2014 but no matter how you try as a lady to come close I will always tell you I have somebody I want to get married to and they'll back off.

In fact one lady confessed to me that she loved me the moment I told her i am not married but I have a serious relationship that will lead to marriage soonest, she said even married men lie about their status just to get what they want but she loved me cos I was being sincere. Now even with all these people around me I still don't feel or love the way I do for my ex. I don't know what to do.

I still think of her and I don't seem to see any other woman and feel anything for them as I feel for her and recently I feel I want her back. What do I do

cricifixo:
From my understanding, ur girl is more loyal to her family that she will be with you once u guys marry. Apart from love, loyalty to ur partner is key for any marriage to work out and ur girl's loyalty lies with her parents.
Pls my brother, if u want to live long & don't want constant fights with her, don't marry her! I repeat, DON'T MARRY HER! Except she comes back to her senses then u point out to her the issues of loyalty & respect cos once u guys are married, u become one & she has to submit to u as the head of the home & run every thought or idea by u before a decision is made and not wait for her patents' approvals

Yusufisraelj:
OP, when you have a lady that cannot take reasonable decision's for the sake of your interest and hers, knowing fully well that you are a correct guy and she too a correct babe. Something is really wrong, you may not be accepted at certain quarters.

My brother move on and let her be, from a study it takes 18 month's to really heal from a relationship that lasted 5 years, so in your case you have roughly about 3 years to heal from this girl, hence your difficulty finding love, same to her too, the reason why many discourage so long a courtship, without clearly defined deadlines.

My dear forget her, I know what am talking about, I know this shoe you are wearing very well. The one Divine help will bring your way, you will be glad you waited on Him, that's if you will let Him lead in the first place.

MisterALEX:
And what makes the op not a better man? You lots will just open your mouth waahh... @op,if you're still interested in the lady, please reach out to her and work things out together. May God see you through this period.

ThiagoKid:
[/b] Op, this is gold!