Christistruth00:



When I was in Boarding School some of my 12 year old Class mates travelled from Maiduguri , Bauchi , Kano and Kaduna to Ibadan unaccompanied.

Can you try that now without the Child going missing?

VenumX:
The one on the left was raised in obodo oyibo. The thing on the right was raised in nizooria.

You don't need anyone to tell you that Africa produces nothing but animals.

Godbpraised:
Oga with all due respect, i stay in Canada i know what happens here in Canada, how can you bring up ur kids in the African way in a place were your kids are trained to call the police as early as 5years.

OnlyDeCapPlease:


But the Indians in UK don't need to send their kids to India in order for them to be respecful and cultured. They learn it wherever in the world they are. The parents teach by setting example.

I'm sorry but a lot of Nigerian parents behave like children. No self restraint. They always have to show off. Moving from one drama to another, one party to another, yay selfie, learning dance reigning in Nigeria, forming marlian at age 45/50?, must drive mercedes benz, audi or range rover etc because that is what so so and so is driving. Must wear this if not I will feel poor. Consequently they are always working or chasing money. Add to this distractions from having affairs outside marriage that Nigerian couples are slowing getting notorious for, then you are left with kids with no guidance who, if not checked, might end up getting out of control. When this happens, instead of the parents to step back, swallow their pride and engage with the child, they want to fob the child off to Africa for a quick fix of brutality? Jokers.

Tetehjewels:


America is known for fraudulent schemes, drugs, immorality and thug life but will you ever hear them describe her this way? Even you would never describe her this way but you would rather describe Nigeria that way.

Your racism toward your own fellow Nigerians is real.

lefulefu:
In nigeria when u steal or scam u are called a sharp man
We have this culture called smartness and when i say smart it means being criminally minded.if u fair and honest u regarded as a mugu .if person come send im pickin to naija to learn naija methods God help such child if he or she pick such behaviour in being naija smart .At least in the west criminality is encouraged.u steal u do the time.

Ugosample:
All I'll say is that
Regardless of location, a child can be raised with good values
But the parents have to first live by such values as well

RisenPhoenix1:


No. In western culture, many don't love their parents. They feel zero responsibility towards them once they turn 18 and sometimes run away from home well before that.

And Africans are not always choiceless about respect. An adult will naturally help a random elderly person carry his/her bags. The thing with respect though, is that it's usually given to elders and betters, true, and expected from the young and less well placed; where it is only reciprocated if it is given. In western culture, people are equally bound by litigation and rules to behave well in public, and not all whites are polite...far from it.

Yes, many Nigerians do drugs, as fo whites, but no Nigerian does it Infront of his parents or elders, out of respect. And it's not fear; after all what can an aged parent do to him? Cane him?

etrange:


Americans are know for racism. Mexicans are known for drugs. Nigerians are known for scamming.

My Mexican friends don't do drugs. But it's perspective caused by some of their people. They know this. The perspective needs to corrected but you can't do that if you keep denying that such perspective does exist.

You can start by saying "yes, Nigerians are known for this but that's a misconception". That way, the person you're talking to will know you aren't just being blandly defensive.

etrange:


Lol... you'll be called a racist.

thebosstrevor1:


You are right but how do you train a child that the public school system is trying to brainwash with homosexual and feminism propaganda?

For instance in the uk, many parents are making sure their kids get admitted to Christian schools especially catholic schools to avoid the brainwashing of the public school system.

bukatyne:


Northerners still manage to preserve their culture (good & bad) in this diverse Nigeria.

theFilmtricsay

WoundedLamb:
An African friend always argue that kids are better of raised in Africa. He said he'd send his two boys to Nigeria so they'd know what life is all about. I asked him "what life is all about", he said hardship, blackouts, etc. He said kids raised in the Americas aren't respectful and organized cause they didn't suffer. And that brings me to the topic of this thread. Is the Nigerian style of raising kids really the ideal model? I just want to share my opinion on the things my friend mentioned as reasons to send his boys to Africa: respectful and organized and the need to "suffer small" (his words).

Respectful: In the Nigerian society, elders don't usually explain to kids why they shouldn't do some things; they just authoritatively ask them not to do it and the kids better not ask why. Kids grow up respecting thier elders out of fear (and not admiration or love). The implication of this is that they do a lot things without their patents' knowledge, and they get used to this "hidden lifestyle" that makes it almost impossible for parents to truly know thier children. This in turn denies the parents the opportunity to identify and correct some unwanted behaviours as the kids always tell them just what they want to hear. And then it's only a matter of time before some of these kids outgrow the fear and reveal their true personalities (good luck with your mystery parcel at this point). Whereas in the Americas, kids are engaged and not commanded. You can easily tell the direction your child is headed.

Organized: He said kids raised in Africa are more organized and not crazy like their American counterparts who do all sorts of things like tattoos, plastic surgery, etc. Yes, Americans have a lot of deviants, but that's why new ideas/findings pop up everyday. I believe Africans force thier youngsters to fit into a predefined pattern of life and thereby reducing the chances of creativity. In Africa, you are supposed to go to school, get a job, get married and make children (and there are ages for all these). Then your children will do the same and the cycle continues. This "organised" pattern is the African dream; it is more important than any other dream or even the world itself, and any deviation is frowned upon. Africans think it's a crazy for a man to dedicate his life to studying mosquitoes even if that's his dream (yet Africans are the most affected by these killer insects), Africans think it's crazy for a woman to say she ain't getting married but would rather use her money to adopt and raise orphaned kids. A friend I was teaching software development had to quit cause "he didn't have time anymore". According to him, he had gotten to the age of marriage. And you wonder why nothing spectacular comes out of this continent? Alternative lifestyles might be scary but that's the wheel of progress.

"Suffer small": This one makes me laugh and I usually use it to tease my friend. Kids don't need to suffer small. Kids need the skills that would make them survive in their environment. If carrying water, fighting for a bus, using candles and going to the farm equip the child for the African life, great (just don't overdo it). But that's not necessarily a model. It's something they do out of necessity. A kid who is born in North America does not need to go to Africa to "suffer small". I don't even own a bucket as an adult and I'll probably never buy one. A kid born here needs DIY skills amongst others.

I don't have a problem with some people wanting their kids to go to Africa to learn thier culture but I don't subscribe to the idea that kids raised in Africa are better off. What do you think?

lefulefu:
I saw one instagram video i think yesterday or day b4 yesterday..This nollywood actress i cant remember her name now..who happens to be a mother was twerking her ass wearing a very tight mini skirt while her two children where smacking the backside as she was twerking it .she uploaded that kind of video on instagram
those are the kind of modern parents we have now in nigeria
i just laugh at anybody who says he wants to train his or her child by sending the child to naija.If u want ur child to be disciplined then install the discipline on him/her.

RisenPhoenix1:


Don't mistake politeness for respect. It is politically correct to be polite to everyone you talk to, but that doesn't imply respect at all. As an example, just observe how they treat strangers and foreigners compared to how Africans treat strangers and foreigners. Especially in Scandinavian countries. I agree they'll smile and thank you for opening the door, but never notice you beyond a frown if you are of no use to them.



There is little family support. Everyone is literally on his own financially. No one even thinks of taking his/her parents to live with them. And no, care homes are not only for when one is not around, they often lodge them there permanently, with fewer and fewer visits as time goes by. In Africa, we don't even have such homes. I call my parents every day and I escape at least every two or three days to taste my mother's superior cooking. My kids are as close to their grandparents as they are to us. Family relationships in Africa is a whole different category from that in Europe or the US.



It doesn't have to be so. Apart from the manners and values, an American is probably tens of thousands of dollars in debt by the time he's out of university. An African goes there with a fresh degree, no crippling debt and an enthusiastic perspective for the future. And within one year, he is better off than many Americans. Emigrants almost always tend to excel. Throw an American into Nigeria on the other hand, and he's helpless once his cash runs out. He can in no way cope with life, and will probably run straight to the US embassy and beg for help. So aside from values and culture, an African upbringing teaches us adaptability. I would like my kids to be survivors wherever they find themselves. But I guess everyone will have their perspective on this.

lefulefu:
I saw one instagram video i think yesterday or day b4 yesterday..This nollywood actress i cant remember her name now..who happens to be a mother was twerking her ass wearing a very tight mini skirt while her two children where smacking the backside as she was twerking it .she uploaded that kind of video on instagram
those are the kind of modern parents we have now in nigeria
i just laugh at anybody who says he wants to train his or her child by sending the child to naija.If u want ur child to be disciplined then install the discipline on him/her.

OnlyDeCapPlease:


Entirely self absorbed with no boundaries. When will such decide that its time to sacrifice their personal pleasure/enjoyment, and focus on properly guiding their children? They used to say "no old woman in Ghana", but I think Nigeria has overtaken them.

Ugosample:

What u said up here is not entirely applicable

A typical african is scared of, and is locked in the prison of "what will people say?"
This construct right here is what keep some things the way they are. When many africans rid themselves of this type of thinking, then you will see how the society will be

thebosstrevor1:


You got it all wrong.

How about this?

This one was trained abroad. Environment matters in training kids

lefulefu:
parenthood in nigeria has taken a dive and we already reaping the effects
A child carrying a gun to school to shoot her teacher cos the teacher told her to trim down her tinted hair is one of the effects

thebosstrevor1:




I will never allow celebrity lifestyle to influence any of my children.

What they see is what they practice.

Some of these Nigerian so called celebrities also came from broken and dysfunctional homes, they then project that dysfunctionality into their audience.

Ugosample:

Hope you know that Nigeria has one of the highest homosexual populations in the world ?
That's one
Homosexuality has always been a part of humanity, and it's not going away.
That said it's all about the example you set for your kids..
Believe it or not, to a large extent parents are the biggest influence on their kids

WoundedLamb:


I believe I've always gotten the respect I deserve here. I grew up here and I'd know when people are pretending. At least, I'm not pretending so I don't think my mates are. Oh boy, the way people type on NL (even grown up men), it would take a supreme being to convince me Nigeria is a better place to raise a kid.

Parental ties aren't necessarily bad here. North America is the most diverse continent in the world. The environment and mindset of a child is usually a function of the environment the parents immerse him in. That we have care homes doesn't mean a typical Nigerian raised here will then dump their parents there. It doesn't mean the family tie you're so proud will automatically disappear. Let's not forget this isn't a comparison between an African kid and an American kid. It's a comparing between an African raised abroad by African parents and the one raised in Nigeria. The child who grew up in an African home abroad doesn't need to come to Nigeria to appreciate family ties. It's naturally the way the African home is structured regardless of where. To me visiting home is enough. Even if you want to send him home, it shouldn't be to "suffer small". Maybe cause you want him to learn local languages.

Finally, the hypothetical scenarios of taking kids to the other side to know how they'd fare sounds appealing that's theory. The reality is that it's always one way (less privileged moving to more developed countries). Seeing that no American citizen moves to a place or gets stuck in a place he'd have to fight for danfo. So even if the "small suffering" needed, it would be to the practical degree that will be beneficial to the child. And I think I can create that here.

This is not to undermine your point, I'm only adamant cause I grew up here and I have many African friends who did as well. I used to visit Nigeria and I've been on this app for about 10 years. I do not think the immigrants or Nigerians at home are better than myself. Sorry, it's personal. Lol.

Tetehjewels:


All thanks to Western influence being allowed to corrode our system.

lefulefu:
exactly
many of them also come from broken homes hence they have nothing to offer the kids
just like a mother sometime ago wore her six year old daughter in attires won by pornstars with heavy makeup and uploaded the little girl"s pictures all over social media and some few ladies where even defending her sef.America that will call morally corrupt if u as a parent doll up ur child in a sexual way u could get sanctioned as a parent.And yet we always make noise that nigeria holds moral value than the worst.If u look at it with a critical eye na we worse pass .

thebosstrevor1:


That is not true, i hope your data isnt from gay app, where most of the Nigerian users are looking to scam people.

Homosexuality is not part of African culture.

Its true that parents are the biggest influence on kids but also teachers...some kids believe what their teacher than their parents.

lefulefu:
It has nothing to do with the west.before the advent of social media there have been children who were raised in the wrong path.if u as a parent cant do your duty then the child will end up badly.

thebosstrevor1:


Imagine...these set of people are ready to forgo morals for cash.

I noticed most of these women going extreme to project sex in everything they do, are mostly single mothers, if there was a man, some sanity would have been brought home.

1Sharon:


So nigerian based men don't rape women?