Ugosample:

They are still blaming western culture lol

lefulefu:
It has nothing to do with the west.before the advent of social media there have been children who were raised in the wrong path.if u as a parent cant do your duty then the child will end up badly.

lefulefu:
yes most are single moms sad to say.the two ladies i mentioned are single moms.
lets look at obama"s case
During when Obama"s dad and his mom seperated ..at her period in her life when she was alone she sent obama to be raised by his grand parents.Look at obama today....This proves that both parents are needed in a child"s life.Some of these single moms especially the nollywood single moms i wonder how they will be able to raise their kids in a positive way with what they are doing on social media

Tetehjewels:


It has everything to do with the west because before the Advent of social media and celebrity idolization which by the way originated from the West, we did not have it this bad.

Now a parent would say because in America children are not flogged as a means of discipline you shouldn't do same on her kids. Try it and she would get you arrested.

A teenager would be allowed to tint her hair because the parent feels she should be allowed to express herself as a teenager who isn't even an adult yet. Values we never entertained until the Advent of Western influence.

Parents were very strict back then before the Advent of the internet but now that the world is somewhat Interconnected this is why you can see a Nigerian engaging in plastic surgery or trying to look more American than Americans themselves.

WoundedLamb:


Physical exercise is good for the health. Stress is not. Experience is good. Suffering is not. People suffer cause they don't have any alternative and not because they need it. The only thing we need is what will equip us for the future where we leave and how can using candles to read or fighting for danfo equip someone who lives in a country where there's no danfo? I never said there aren't ghettos here. That was never the bonne of contention. But thinking about it, even those in the grottos still use the available public transport system, etc. My point is that the "necessary suffering" mustn't be in Africa.

Nevertheless, it's just an opinion. Thanks for your input.

Tetehjewels:


It has everything to do with the west because before the Advent of social media and celebrity idolization which by the way originated from the West, we did not have it this bad.

Now a parent would say because in America children are not flogged as a means of discipline you shouldn't do same on her kids. Try it and she would get you arrested.

A teenager would be allowed to tint her hair because the parent feels she should be allowed to express herself as a teenager who isn't even an adult yet. Values we never entertained until the Advent of Western influence.

Parents were very strict back then before the Advent of the internet but now that the world is somewhat Interconnected this is why you can see a Nigerian engaging in plastic surgery or trying to look more American than Americans themselves.

Ugosample:



Homosexuality is not in the mainstream of any culture whatsoever
But it is a practice found in every culture
Even in the middle east.
Thats the truth
You think homosexuality is not rampant in Africa?

WoundedLamb:
An African friend always argue that kids are better of raised in Africa. He said he'd send his two boys to Nigeria so they'd know what life is all about. I asked him "what life is all about", he said hardship, blackouts, etc. He said kids raised in the Americas aren't respectful and organized cause they didn't suffer. And that brings me to the topic of this thread. Is the Nigerian style of raising kids really the ideal model? I just want to share my opinion on the things my friend mentioned as reasons to send his boys to Africa: respectful and organized and the need to "suffer small" (his words).

Respectful: In the Nigerian society, elders don't usually explain to kids why they shouldn't do some things; they just authoritatively ask them not to do it and the kids better not ask why. Kids grow up respecting thier elders out of fear (and not admiration or love). The implication of this is that they do a lot things without their patents' knowledge, and they get used to this "hidden lifestyle" that makes it almost impossible for parents to truly know thier children. This in turn denies the parents the opportunity to identify and correct some unwanted behaviours as the kids always tell them just what they want to hear. And then it's only a matter of time before some of these kids outgrow the fear and reveal their true personalities (good luck with your mystery parcel at this point). Whereas in the Americas, kids are engaged and not commanded. You can easily tell the direction your child is headed.

Organized: He said kids raised in Africa are more organized and not crazy like their American counterparts who do all sorts of things like tattoos, plastic surgery, etc. Yes, Americans have a lot of deviants, but that's why new ideas/findings pop up everyday. I believe Africans force thier youngsters to fit into a predefined pattern of life and thereby reducing the chances of creativity. In Africa, you are supposed to go to school, get a job, get married and make children (and there are ages for all these). Then your children will do the same and the cycle continues. This "organised" pattern is the African dream; it is more important than any other dream or even the world itself, and any deviation is frowned upon. Africans think it's a crazy for a man to dedicate his life to studying mosquitoes even if that's his dream (yet Africans are the most affected by these killer insects), Africans think it's crazy for a woman to say she ain't getting married but would rather use her money to adopt and raise orphaned kids. A friend I was teaching software development had to quit cause "he didn't have time anymore". According to him, he had gotten to the age of marriage. And you wonder why nothing spectacular comes out of this continent? Alternative lifestyles might be scary but that's the wheel of progress.

"Suffer small": This one makes me laugh and I usually use it to tease my friend. Kids don't need to suffer small. Kids need the skills that would make them survive in their environment. If carrying water, fighting for a bus, using candles and going to the farm equip the child for the African life, great (just don't overdo it). But that's not necessarily a model. It's something they do out of necessity. A kid who is born in North America does not need to go to Africa to "suffer small". I don't even own a bucket as an adult and I'll probably never buy one. A kid born here needs DIY skills amongst others.

I don't have a problem with some people wanting their kids to go to Africa to learn thier culture but I don't subscribe to the idea that kids raised in Africa are better off. What do you think?

thebosstrevor1:


You are right, i also wonder how the kids will feel like in school after the school teacher or one of the pupils or students has seen the mum in a sexually seductive pose. Nigerian celebrities now cover every stupid thing they do online as hustle, without thinking about the effect on the child.

Father and mothers are needed in the training of a child, they are the people who will be the role model for the child.

lefulefu:
a child can be corrected without flogging the child to death.u can smack the child on the bum bum a little to make ur point if the child is very young and if older u can scold him.not using what looks like weapon be using it to hit the child all in the name of installing discipline.if start beating the child like an animal it would make him hardened and that wouldnt turn out well.Anyway nigeria"s system is broken and family values is no longer there and thats why u see kids ending up like that.The internet,facebook and instagram has no path in the decline of familiy value in nigeria.

lefulefu:
even if the father isnt married to the mother but at least he should make his presence felt.if one parent is absent there will always be an empty void in that child"s life and it will affect the child negatively

Ugosample:


Beating kids like goats is the "typical" African way of correcting a child. I personally am not against spanking in totality, but the way black folks beat their kids like goat and animals...
No wonder many of them grow up to becoming hardened criminals and soulless people

thebosstrevor1:


You described the poor and frustrated parents

lefulefu:
a child can be corrected without flogging the child to death.u can smack the child on the bum bum a little to make ur point if the child is very young and if older u can scold him.not using what looks like weapon be using it to hit the child all in the name of installing discipline.if start beating the child like an animal it would make him hardened and that wouldnt turn out well.Anyway nigeria"s system is broken and family values is no longer there and thats why u see kids ending up like that.The internet,facebook and instagram has no path in the decline of familiy value in nigeria.

Ugosample:


Blaming the west for this is just amusing and laughable

WoundedLamb:




You may have some point given the fact that Asians don't usually think about sending thier kids home except when the family wants to travel. But then, that could also be because Asians have much elaborate communities in the western world than Africans do. You can't hardly see a big city without it's own China town. I heard even Lagos has one. There are many Asian schools where their languages are used. Bedsides, English is our national language unlike these people you mentioned.

But these aside, what's your take on sending kids home at thier teenage age? Does it really make them better?

Tetehjewels:


It has everything to do with the west because before the Advent of social media and celebrity idolization which by the way originated from the West, we did not have it this bad.

Now a parent would say because in America children are not flogged as a means of discipline you shouldn't do same on her kids. Try it and she would get you arrested.

A teenager would be allowed to tint her hair because the parent feels she should be allowed to express herself as a teenager who isn't even an adult yet. Values we never entertained until the Advent of Western influence.

Parents were very strict back then before the Advent of the internet but now that the world is somewhat Interconnected this is why you can see a Nigerian engaging in plastic surgery or trying to look more American than Americans themselves.

1Sharon:


What's wrong with tinting your hair lol?

KingAzubuike:
The African mentality is so messed up. Why would you want a child to suffer and see hardship before he knows what life is truly about?

chineloSA:


Is SA nothing Africa?

RisenPhoenix1:


In that case, I'm probably more objective than you are. I grew up in the UK, but chose to come back to Nigeria and raise my kids here even though I could just as easily have chosen to stay there. By picking the African raised child, I'm going against my own upbringing.

Tell me, did you ever call 911 on your parents? Were you never tempted to? And are your parents still together? Be truthful.

ekerintee:
You See the Trend nowadays are single parents,Most of this Kids from single parents are Not being taught Well at Home .appplogies to the good single Parent .i must say there are some single mothers WHO train their Kids Well ,however some dont have time for this Kids .so in conclusion,Not the Location Matters but the Parent or whoever is Training the child .A badly trainned child in Nigeria is almost Same AS a badly trainned child in Europe .however ,some children ,No Matter how hard you train them,they May still Chose to Go Bad,that one is beyond your Power ,but God and everyone knows you did your best

Parenting is a big role but many parents today do not know, most of them pushes the role to school teachers, most of them look for best school thinking they will teach their child moral and etiquette. Nobody does it like the parents cause children trust their parents judgement better than anyone else.
If anyone wants a mannered child, let him/her learn manner first and then pass it to thechildren.

jaxxy:


U are deviating. One of ur points was suffering aspect. I didn’t say it can be experienced elsewhere besides Africa. But as an African it’s easy to relate with it here than in American ghettos. My definition and perspective of suffering is wife and broad bt that danfo u jump is all part of it in the natural world. Have u gone camping b4? Do U see how they cook their meals? They don’t bring gas cookers and stuff even though they can afford to. They want the camping experience. They make a fire, some learn how to do it the caveman style from dry grass. They sleep in tents with no Ac. That’s suffering in the controlled world.

Africans who have been trying to escape suffering all their lives and who only like enjoyment and show off won’t understand why whites to some of these hard experiences. It’s an opportunity to learn. When they visit rural places in Africa it’s an opportunity to learn even though it’s though and smtmes dangerous. Backs/Africans have the mentality of trying to escape this bt forget its a valuable learning experience.

Ur Confort zone is not the most productive place.

WoundedLamb:


No bro, I don't think you're more objective. I'm just more practical and less sentimental. I didn't turn out bad. My friends didn't. So what's the basis for choosing an African kid if not sentiments?

No, I didn't I call 911 and I wasn't tempted to. I was only the "why" type. And I'd like my kids to always ask "why" too.

My turn to ask you: Be honest, did you turn out bad being an abroad raised kid yourself?

madridguy:
Part of what determine a man's life is society but to me with proper upbringing one could raise a child without the child being influenced negatively with what he/she sees around.

I would like to use Mushin area of Lagos as an example. If you live in Lagos you will understand what its means to tagged someone as Omo-Mushin especially in the 90s.
But believe me, I've met countless of people born and raised at Mushin but they're as calm as someone raised in G.R.A Ikeja.

etrange:
I've had this argument several times. Our pride is all we've got going for us as Africans but we should know when to draw the line. You want to send a child to Africa at his formative age knowing fully well that that's exactly when he needs to be enjoying all the western world has to offer? Foundations are laid in secondary schools, don't let your child miss out on that. Americans are known for inventions while Nigerians are known for scamming. Stereotyping is wrong cause we have both good and bad people everywhere but think about it, are kids really better of in a country like this? I don't think. I think a kid that will be good will be good regardless of where he's raised.

RisenPhoenix1:


If I didn't, it's because I spent almost all my holidays back home with my grandparents who talked sense into my foreign head. But times have changed drastically now. I wouldn't want my children growing up abroad in these times when children are given too much freedom.

And the reason why I asked was that a friend's kid called 911 on him in the US. He has already sent all his family back home while still working there. Children are given too much power. I'm not a fan of beating kids, but every so often, a whaling on the nether regions is very highly recommended.

All my kids are "why" kids as well. They didn't have to grow up abroad to become so. Overall, I'd say that they are much better adjusted than their cousins who are still living in the UK, and not having grown up as part of a minority; are much more confident in their own skins. I'm all for a little pride in oneself. Difficult to carry off when you're part of barely tolerated minority.

Klass99:


Now you be sounding like a chauvinist. I no do again

Drop your comments on NL threads and move, don't stay there and be arguing back and forth with people.

And ignore the trolls and rude sadists who engage with bad manners and bad attitude, e dey pain them wella, when they quote you and you ignore.

lefulefu:
lets say the truth where it ought to be said biko
some weeks ago i saw one video where yahoo boys where spraying money in one major road in benin city and even elderly ppl where picking the money on the road and praying for the yahoo boys
and someone is saying nigeria holds value
abegi
the only value we hold is our obsessive love for money and materialism

Tetehjewels:


Americans are known for scams which are fraudulent schemes. Makes you wonder where the Notorious PONZI SCHEME began if not in America through Charles Ponzi.

Racism is the least of Americas problems. Cons, Drugs, Thug life and Immorality rank tops and not racism.

You should be the one who ought to start by saying that your comment is a misconception about Nigerians and not me because you were the one who made the sweeping comment