₦airaland Forum

LikeAking:
Nope..

We live in a wicked world, for only the strong hearted.

Na the good dey die.

There is a tin line between been good and been foolish.

When you are good in this world as instructed by the society and religion.

You will surly become a victim.

The good people are always the victims.

This world bad, my guy.

A generation of monsters.

Mikester:
I’m almost halfway through being 21, an age I’m legally an adult and a man. Having emerged from the tangled forest of adolescence I’ve learned many lessons. I learned a lot of them through watching other people. Some I just figured out through wisdom and insight and some were learned through trial and errors.

Not saying I'm an expert though but I want to pass this wisdom down to fellow young guys like me hopefully they have a bit more of a roadmap to help guide them than I did.


1. Some people should be kept at arm’s length.

It’s a good thing to show love and compassion to people. It's good to be friendly but it’s also important to understand who should be in your inner circle and who you should keep at a distance or even avoid. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Destructive people are out there. The sooner you spot who they are and where they should fit in your life the better.

2. Forgive.

People are going to do you wrong and hurt you. No matter what you do, you will be hurt by someone at some point and that’s often out of your control but what you do in the aftermath is entirely in your hands. Holding grudges never does anyone any good. It’s self destructive and can even seep over into relationships that have nothing to do with the person who hurt you. That said, that doesn’t mean that you should necessarily let them back into your life right after. Forgiveness is about letting go of the hurt and grudge, not about completely forgetting and pretending it didn’t happen.

3. First impressions are more important than you can imagine.

You only have a chance to make a good impression, so putting your mind toward it is always your best option. From dressing decently and speaking articulately to standing tall and making eye contact. The way you present yourself is the way people will see you and the way people see you will determine how they treat you and the opportunities they give you. Make sure you make a powerful impression.

4. It’s good to take risks and be bold.

Most of the best things in life usually comes with a risk. Know how and when to take risks. Be wise and strong enough to invest where necessary and be bold enough to take on challenges you encounter.

5. Being real is more important than being posh.

“You’re such a genuine guy,” is my favorite compliment. This to me is so much better than being told I’m posh. Real people see, recognize and are drawn to authenticity. Believe it or not, most people, especially girls, can tell exactly when you’re faking or trying too hard. If you want to draw the right people to you, then just be real with yourself and them, instead of putting up a facade in order to look cool or to be accepted. Being cool is for a moment, but authenticity lasts for a lifetime.

Simply put, don't chase people - man or woman, rather be yourself and invest more in yourself and the right people will come around you. Chasing people leads you to the wrong people and puts you at a huge loss.This also applies to relationships

6. Don't do drugs

Drugs make your mind perverted and your sense of judgement corrupted not to talk of the terrible health effects of drug intake. It's not for men with ambition to take drugs, give drugs to men who have decided to wallow in mediocrity and scornful living.

Moreover smoking causes impotence in men. Hope you quit smoking after reading this.

7. Other people can’t heal or fix you.

Your friends, family and romantic relationships can help you. They can speed up the healing process, support you when things are bad and guide you towards where you should go. They can reveal truths to you that maybe you couldn’t see. But in the end, when dealing with deep internal wounds and life establishment, no one can actually fix you. That part is on you and your God.

8. The world doesn’t owe you anything.

You’re not owed stuff and things simply by virtue of existence. Life tends to give back what you put into it. The people who always get the most seem to be in my experience, those who give the most freely. So, instead of walking around with an entitled mindset, try to figure out what you can contribute.

9. Just because it “feels right” doesn’t mean it is.

A lot of people will abandon their previously set moral boundaries because something “feels right.” Sometimes things feel right in the moment and are simply destructive in the long run. Feelings are important but acting out entirely on them is a path to destruction.

10. The future is a reality.

You’ll hear a lot about “live in the present,” and you definitely should, but living in the present also comes with the responsibility of making choices right now that will affect your tomorrow. Living in the present is not permission to live like tomorrow doesn’t exist because when it comes around, it can be a rude awakening.

11. Control your sexual urges

Sex isn't everything. It has no profit nor reward. Early and uncontrolled sex makes you inactive towards aspects of your life that needs your energy and attention and an inactive man is an unhappy man - a loser. It also makes you more liable to have an unhealthy marriage later in life.

God forbid we be counting sex partners while our mates are counting money.

Don't rush into sex or make it a priority else you will find it very difficult to attain greater heights in your life which will lead you into depression and regrets especially when you see your mates ahead of you. There is a lot of time for sex after marriage.

12. Your value is everything

I don't know much about ladies but for a guy, you're only followed, respected and regarded by your value - what you can offer. A man with less or no value is looked down by society. A man creates himself not finds himself. Daily exercise in self-control, knowledge and wealth acquisition gradually creates improvements in your worth. Don't underestimate that. You're meant to be a leader in your home so invest in yourself in order for you to lead well.

The lifestyle of a man largely depends on IQ and a higher level of intelligence leads to a better lifestyle for him. Your intelligence and energy is everything. Work on that.

13. You aren't the first to face your difficulties

Most men today think that they have it harder than previous generations did but it is not true. If you could make it to where you are now, you can still do better. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. Through perseverance many people win success out of what seemed destined to be certain failure.

Be strong and keep hustling. Lessen your gratification and double your hustle. Remember energy and persistence conquers all things.

14. Be careful with women

Do not give your strength to women. Don't love women you can't trust. Study any woman you want to settle down with and don't ignore the red flags you find. You do this for the future you so that you won't find yourself in troubles you could have avoided.

Do not make your woman your superior rather see her as your daughter. Love her and correct her when she errs. Any woman who doesn't respect you shouldn't be in your life. You're the one marrying her and paying the bride price. Don't settle for less.

15. Give attention to your wife and children

Children turn out better when they have the attention of their parents - when they parents spend quality time with them. As children need mother's love and attention, they also need father's care and attention. Have time for them and converse with them. Sometimes children wish their parents had more open conversations with them. Same applies to your wife. Pay attention to her.


Courtesy - Mikester

Pegi23:
I swear I was like this op have sense oo, mature guy at the age of 21 but your number 14 make you stupid and foolish..

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright

Mikester:
Not really though. People will take you for granted when you forgive too easily.

If someone offends you, don't forgive so fast. Create an impression that you don't like what they did. Let them be aware that you don't appreciate their offense towards you.

Let them realise the gravity of their offence, shun it, then you forgive

BabaIbo:
That is harsh, you can oppose him without being too hard.
He is right if you think otherwise, give your reason in a responsible manner.


Back to the post, OP your opinion/view may be valid for people your age and maybe some above your age but when you get to a certain level in life, you will realize so many things.

Life has no proven written rules or principles, you can only find guide which can't guarantee 100% result.

There are people that followed rules and are still struggling, while some live life as it comes and are doing well today.

And there are people that set rules/principles to follow and they are doing well.

Every stages in life has its own challenges.

Remember the saying that Life is a mystery or a journey.


In summary, your post is not bad, it is good.
You did well in compiling that list but there is level/stage in life you will get to that some or most of them may not be applicable and again you have to put into consideration the situation/condition of the person involved.
You don't expect someone that is being fed or a privileged person to have same orientation with someone that is striving to feed himself/his loved ones i.e a person that is not privileged.

Polynek:
The wisdom of Solomon has nothing to do with the years Methuselah

Miyachi:
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.

In my opinion, there is no such thing as forgiving to early. Forgiveness gives your peace of mind, having pent up resentment and hatred towards someone gives them too much control over your life -- they determine your happiness.

Forgive but don't give that opportunity to be wronged again.

Polynek:
The wisdom of Solomon has nothing to do with the years Methuselah

BadRadio:
indeed... what does a bloody 23 yrs know... smh... surprise me for once and say something intelligent. Gosh!!! such humongous ignorance !

BadRadio:
boy you have no point up there.

BadRadio:
@ 21 you should be keeping quiet when elders over 30 is addressing this thread... u ought to have made a question out of the thread rather than providing unverified answers or opinions without any iota of reality or substantial claims and empirical evidence that supposedly should be born out of experience.

How can someone who is 21 possibly know a thing about life at 30??

would u preach to a married man about his marriage when u are still a bloody bachelor??

SureDan001:
What then can you say about a naturally gentle and nice person who's living with his benefactor?

Humanoid01:
Jesus actually forgave not just because it's his nature to do so, but he also wants us to forgive. Forgiveness brings this kind of freedom that's difficult to understand. The fact that you have forgiven someone doesn't mean you should trust them again, neither is it a sign of weakness. It just means that you have accepted that no human being is beyond faults.

LikeAking:
I mean real offence, not all those petty ones.

You no go understand.

This world is upside down.

QDubz:
You forgot to add, don't allow anyone make you feel like failure is a bad thing.
You are one failure away from success!

Hassanmaye:
Lol you have said it all just like the daughters of Jezebel give bad boys and cultists everything and later start looking for stupid good guys to drill A. K..A the beta male to drill