₦airaland Forum

You should thank Your God that those silly attitude of hers is obvious to the eyes before you both venture into marriage.

She's will influence your kids especially the female ones since her dad is the one footing everything at home thats her mindset and anybody who will get married to such woman will suffer even if he has money

Bros if you marry that girl ehhh lemme tell you the truth and I don't know how u might feel but to be sincere if you marry her you will suffer. Imagine not staying two weeks without a fight or argument.

I like what you did leaving everything in that house for her and you moved to your new posting.

Let her continue putting hot stuffs in fridge soon she will have to go and buy a new fridge with 150k from that her money she don't want to touch for just one fridge because this one will certainly get spoilt then she will understand that you were actually trying.

NB: Somewhere in the Bible says it is better to sleep on top a tree than to stay in the same roof with a nagging woman.

Don't allow Elders , Pastors , family members to convince you that she will change by the time you both get married oo cos certainly she will not change reason is, that's the type of person whom she is.

99thEnemy:
her Moniker pls,
I want to check something

Check the first page... She's here already

firstratedcitiz:
You are both living together in the same room and not having sex. Let me ask you, assuming the both of you broke up suddenly, what would you say that you gained out of the relationship?
I am joking. But I would not engage myself in such kind of relationships.

My brother you made sense.
2yrs and no sex, she get mind,
Still she found condom in the guys room and complaining, does she want to kill this guy??
A full blown man not to have sex within a yr....

If you dont wana hv sex she for go rent her own apartment naa.

Regex:
You swallowed all these for 2yrs for a pussy you could get elsewhere? It's not like her pussy is gold. Damn bro! Damn!

He never even mess the pus,sy..

Wahala no dey finish..

Rapfrick:
read her response before u wish for a man like him.she is not a bad person as he had painted her to be

it's better not to support either of them because From their analysis it's base on character flaws from both side...

Iamafinegirl:
I swear before God and man Dt I haven’t...
Not just since the relationship started but from birth

A man who lied just to get a woman
You seemed like a big hot Cake and he crudely wanted to be a part of it..
First this was based on dishonesty
I commend you for keeping your values but I think you people have differences you both can't work on..
Like opposite ends,it's just too bad there's a bit of high temperance coming from his end
If only he can calm down, he seems a bit frustrated with the fact that he's got issues to deal with and he still has to come back to a House of no sex,funny thing is he would have found solace in the sex thing..
Cohabiting for 2 years wasn't a good idea in this situation..suspense at times help's, distance also..
If you both can work on this your opposite ends for it to meet,well... Then it's fine
If you can't then you have to end it..
You're like 2 good people,but one has less coping mechanism..
You'll be fine
Sit together and just talk it all out and make a decision if you can or you can't continue
Point out all grey area's

Kriss216:
Check the first page... She's here already

I don't know the moniker still

You guys don't understand each other.
If you must stay together,you guys need to critical work on that.

OP it seem you have anger issue if everything your fiancé say is to be taken with keen consideration,then you need to work on it.

Without the understanding,this relationship will end in chaos.

May God Almighty give you both the patience required to take the relationship to the next level but if HE ordained that you too are not meant to be together,so be it. Amen

Iamafinegirl:
Did you tell them that when we are talking
“You are not serious is a big INSULT for you”
Did u tell then that when u say I like trump and I say “me I hater trump because of this and that” it is already an offense and you admitted to you having issues with me airing opinions because you are boss or what I don’t know?
Did you tell them a simple conversation or difference in opinion even on a gist is an insult to you?

Did you tell them I think of quality and wen a frying pan was needed I was saying the new expensive ones sef are not good, they burn. Second new is better in this case and we got a second new one? Because it’s not necessarily about cost but most times you won’t even be able to understand the depth of what I suggest sometimes.

Did you tell them I explained something one day that I paid money to so and so person to avoid a problem and you tried to give me another solution to have taken and I was like “me I don’t want wahala oo thats why I did what I did@ and because everything is fight and arguement for you you had stood up stormed out of the house because you felt i said I don’t want your wahala etc when all I was saying is that I didn’t want wahala if d issue boomeranged and so I didn’t even look for other means I just did d surest method in question” did u settle down to listen or because you never patient and always ready to call everything an argument or fight you had kickstarted your nature?

Did you tell them you wanted a car and I said this car is too expensive tell someone who we know imports to bring for you although the person could delay and may change the car you agreed on but I said do a written agreement with him so it would be cheaper for you and that way he won’t do anything funny ? And you would spend less and get a better grade or level like the one I got instead of paying for something lower at the same price as the one you paid for in town. Out of love, did you not turn it to fight and say I am wicked, and louded the issue and dramatised it as being evil.
Did you tell them you lied to me that you don’t drink or smoke?
But you drink and lied from foundation of a relationship to win a girl?
When I realised out of anger I said you lied to me you don’t drink but you are a drunkard.
Did your remember saying my father who doesn’t drink at all and you know fully is the drunkard
You have called me demonic woman
You have called me stupid woman
You have called me very stupid woman
The list is endless but if we discussing and you don’t understand what I am saying and I am frustrated talking and I say “you no dey understand English” you just flare up that that is a big insult.
Things that aren’t insults you made them insults to defend yourself.
Did you tell them the most times we went to Shoprite then I use to be the one buying things...and you usually pick nothing. So why should Shoprite be so expensive if I buy water “nestle water” and other things from there even before we ever dated and you used to follow me there to win me and I never asked you to pay for me or use you as a toaster?

Did you tell them that you are building and I am also building? And the months you spent all your salary not even on the building alone oo. Busy dashing people and at 3rd of the month you were broke and I was like how would we handle the house you said I am there and I held those months because that’s what a good woman would do.

Did you tell dem that wen you arrived at the counsellor we told them we had a 60k and 40k rule as at then but we just weren’t piling it in the same account and the pastor said ok we should do it as a joint account so no one would feel he is bringing all the money” and we stop spending differently. you told them it’s the pastor who proposed it or he told us that ok you people should just put the money in a seperate account and the wife asked what else is making you angry and you said contributions for repair should be added”.

Did you tell them that when your drivers license expired and there was a delay with joint account , you said you would keep some part of the contribution for where you stay but I must submit all my own contribution to your younger sisters account while you submit just some to her because you don’t trust me with money. The younger sister would now be the one dishing out the feeding money to me who is the one working? While you comfortably keep part of your contribution as a boss. Did you tell them I said you should give her all if i would also have to submit my own all to her since she is the chosen financial manager of our own institution so she can be dishing out money to both of us as at when due since distance is not a barrier to bank transfer so I would also monitor u because you don’t trust me with money and you want to monitor what I am eating when u aren’t even there with me.

Did you tell them you don’t live according to your means and you always borrowing and financing a lifestyle heavier than you inclusive of feeding (because you eat 70-80%) of all the food in the house? Did you tell them you have collected above 14 million naira loan and you haven’t completed any house you are building aside still having normal money people have used to complete their own houses.

Did you tell them you give them babes money and say send me your account number Cus I have seen it but to buy Apple extra for me out of a budget as per my love this one na for u from my pocket? Did you tell then as we came back from your location you had meeting with your babe asking if hostel has resumed and all by 6pm same day?

Did u tell them that I had been using clin-cap face cream, benzoxide peroxide face cream, and you have been using it with me and I have never said this cream is 2000 and the other is 1000 let’s contribute from budget but you bought olaybact for me 400 naira and you were balancing account for me?

Did you tell them I did a soap mix of 13000 naira to 15,000 naira and you have been lovingly using it With me since January and I have never in my life said your contribution for soap but you won’t even do it, if you did sef you would have been asking for money by now.

Did you tell them that even to buy apple while taking me to were you lived loveingly as per this is my new location has to be from the budget and that you couldn’t say babes aside this budget this for you?
Did you tell them I also contributed for the fuel as you were taking me lovingly to your new location? Location you dey go dey come yourself but as I go follow u go know d place I must pay for transport. I for kukuma just enter public transport. But I don’t even have a problem with that since that’s what he wanted. We just accounted for my path

Did you tell them...that I am not wasteful and you went ahead to do things you wanted to do and started blaming me for it. Like buying a new tv when your mum was around for them...knowing fully well I hardly look at a television and you did it for you and yours?
Did you tell them this girl who doesn’t contribute lovingly gives your sis money and also give your mum at least in the best way I can afford within my means but you no send me message so that’s my business you are not even seeing it. Na me send myself?
When last did you buy me a gift in a year and half? It was a wig when you were still trying to toast me. That was only when you were trying to win my heart.
Did you tell them you don’t do anything for me I don’t ask you for money for cloth, hair etc or my own fuel as I am a responsible adult and not a burden on a man which you know yourself. Did you let them know that the food you eat 70% of and the house repair you would do definitely if I am there or not is what you would always come and stand on my head for when we weren’t yet contributing in a joint account. Did you tell them you don’t take care of me and you are just so self centered about the feeding part because you eat more of the food? Yet I was still buying food oo no be say I go out and don’t bring anything to the house. I still buy meat, tomatoes, onion etc but maybe not just up to the person who consumes the 80%

Did u tell them d day you took me out and water was bought which was like two years ago was a special day I think maybe Valentine or my birthday or something and “I was only asking to be treated special”. As per today na correct day, spoil me na.
Did you tell them that I spoke of u buying some thing like blender or electronic because you need quality one to last. The cheap juicer bought did it last? No
Was there not finally a decision where the expensive “binatone” blender was picked because for some things, quality is important so it lasts?
Did you tell them I met condoms in your other room and you alleged it’s your boss that came to your house to use it? Because you couldn’t tell him no?
Did you tell them that if I want to do something you would use my car and if you want to do something you would use my car and I said love should cover all this there should be no differentiating of car for activities and you can use mine when you want and viceversal?

The day he said I said drug was too expensive did he tell you he spent all his income that month already by 3rd or so due to poor planning and I used my income all for the month for food. Ofcourse I am sure he borrowed as usual for fuel for his car that month and maybe some extra things like suya etc you may want to eat and that’s why I couldn’t afford to buy that cream or is it even tablet I desperately needed quality type of drug to treat that ailment because it use to be stubborn when it comes but couldn’t afford it that month ?

In addition I forgot. The generator I would tell you to put on when wet had a generator house while some or most Nigerians just make a metal cover or so for their generator. So rain fell and the splash I could look wasn’t much and I would say it’s not like water entered this thing in its house like Dt just few splash on surface. I owned a generator I ran without it having issue before meeting you and while you where toasting me. I didn’t know I am unqualified to run a gen. I stopped touching your gen because it was complain upon complain or I am arguing with you by having a different opinion about ah it’s small splashes. Ofcourse if a gen was drenched would I with my full senses say lets put it on? When Nigerians keep their gen outside with normal cover.

You would go out and meet the true definition of a Nigerian woman. Take care of her is what a man does, send her money for hair, dress, clothes etc.
And still buy food n do stuff.
You would remember I was never a burden on u
I hope you would have love enough for her to cover taking care of her abi u would start complaining and shouting on her too. I just hope you don’t faint then.

On the other hand I Wld meet the true definition of Nigerian man who knows he is to care. Simple

99thEnemy.

Here

Iamafinegirl:
Nope. I was a virgin waiting to Bleep only him as we were planing a wedding this year.
I was scared he would use and dump me like most men do

Baby, don't mind him. I'm here for you. I'll marry you straight away. No sex till marriage.

You guys can sit down and discuss everything. The problem is that both of you have been holding back out of fear of offending the other person. Sit down and have a candid discussion. It's obvious both of you still have feelings for each other. A little effort can still mend things.

Iamafinegirl:
Did you tell them that when we are talking
“You are not serious is a big INSULT for you”
Did u tell then that when u say I like trump and I say “me I hater trump because of this and that” it is already an offense and you admitted to you having issues with me airing opinions because you are boss or what I don’t know?
Did you tell them a simple conversation or difference in opinion even on a gist is an insult to you?

Did you tell them I think of quality and wen a frying pan was needed I was saying the new expensive ones sef are not good, they burn. Second new is better in this case and we got a second new one? Because it’s not necessarily about cost but most times you won’t even be able to understand the depth of what I suggest sometimes.

Did you tell them I explained something one day that I paid money to so and so person to avoid a problem and you tried to give me another solution to have taken and I was like “me I don’t want wahala oo thats why I did what I did@ and because everything is fight and arguement for you you had stood up stormed out of the house because you felt i said I don’t want your wahala etc when all I was saying is that I didn’t want wahala if d issue boomeranged and so I didn’t even look for other means I just did d surest method in question” did u settle down to listen or because you never patient and always ready to call everything an argument or fight you had kickstarted your nature?

Did you tell them you wanted a car and I said this car is too expensive tell someone who we know imports to bring for you although the person could delay and may change the car you agreed on but I said do a written agreement with him so it would be cheaper for you and that way he won’t do anything funny ? And you would spend less and get a better grade or level like the one I got instead of paying for something lower at the same price as the one you paid for in town. Out of love, did you not turn it to fight and say I am wicked, and louded the issue and dramatised it as being evil.
Did you tell them you lied to me that you don’t drink or smoke?
But you drink and lied from foundation of a relationship to win a girl?
When I realised out of anger I said you lied to me you don’t drink but you are a drunkard.
Did your remember saying my father who doesn’t drink at all and you know fully is the drunkard
You have called me demonic woman
You have called me stupid woman
You have called me very stupid woman
The list is endless but if we discussing and you don’t understand what I am saying and I am frustrated talking and I say “you no dey understand English” you just flare up that that is a big insult.
Things that aren’t insults you made them insults to defend yourself.
Did you tell them the most times we went to Shoprite then I use to be the one buying things...and you usually pick nothing. So why should Shoprite be so expensive if I buy water “nestle water” and other things from there even before we ever dated and you used to follow me there to win me and I never asked you to pay for me or use you as a toaster?

Did you tell them that you are building and I am also building? And the months you spent all your salary not even on the building alone oo. Busy dashing people and at 3rd of the month you were broke and I was like how would we handle the house you said I am there and I held those months because that’s what a good woman would do.

Did you tell dem that wen you arrived at the counsellor we told them we had a 60k and 40k rule as at then but we just weren’t piling it in the same account and the pastor said ok we should do it as a joint account so no one would feel he is bringing all the money” and we stop spending differently. you told them it’s the pastor who proposed it or he told us that ok you people should just put the money in a seperate account and the wife asked what else is making you angry and you said contributions for repair should be added”.

Did you tell them that when your drivers license expired and there was a delay with joint account , you said you would keep some part of the contribution for where you stay but I must submit all my own contribution to your younger sisters account while you submit just some to her because you don’t trust me with money. The younger sister would now be the one dishing out the feeding money to me who is the one working? While you comfortably keep part of your contribution as a boss. Did you tell them I said you should give her all if i would also have to submit my own all to her since she is the chosen financial manager of our own institution so she can be dishing out money to both of us as at when due since distance is not a barrier to bank transfer so I would also monitor u because you don’t trust me with money and you want to monitor what I am eating when u aren’t even there with me.

Did you tell them you don’t live according to your means and you always borrowing and financing a lifestyle heavier than you inclusive of feeding (because you eat 70-80%) of all the food in the house? Did you tell them you have collected above 14 million naira loan and you haven’t completed any house you are building aside still having normal money people have used to complete their own houses.

Did you tell them you give them babes money and say send me your account number Cus I have seen it but to buy Apple extra for me out of a budget as per my love this one na for u from my pocket? Did you tell then as we came back from your location you had meeting with your babe asking if hostel has resumed and all by 6pm same day?

Did u tell them that I had been using clin-cap face cream, benzoxide peroxide face cream, and you have been using it with me and I have never said this cream is 2000 and the other is 1000 let’s contribute from budget but you bought olaybact for me 400 naira and you were balancing account for me?

Did you tell them I did a soap mix of 13000 naira to 15,000 naira and you have been lovingly using it With me since January and I have never in my life said your contribution for soap but you won’t even do it, if you did sef you would have been asking for money by now.

Did you tell them that even to buy apple while taking me to were you lived loveingly as per this is my new location has to be from the budget and that you couldn’t say babes aside this budget this for you?
Did you tell them I also contributed for the fuel as you were taking me lovingly to your new location? Location you dey go dey come yourself but as I go follow u go know d place I must pay for transport. I for kukuma just enter public transport. But I don’t even have a problem with that since that’s what he wanted. We just accounted for my path

Did you tell them...that I am not wasteful and you went ahead to do things you wanted to do and started blaming me for it. Like buying a new tv when your mum was around for them...knowing fully well I hardly look at a television and you did it for you and yours?
Did you tell them this girl who doesn’t contribute lovingly gives your sis money and also give your mum at least in the best way I can afford within my means but you no send me message so that’s my business you are not even seeing it. Na me send myself?
When last did you buy me a gift in a year and half? It was a wig when you were still trying to toast me. That was only when you were trying to win my heart.
Did you tell them you don’t do anything for me I don’t ask you for money for cloth, hair etc or my own fuel as I am a responsible adult and not a burden on a man which you know yourself. Did you let them know that the food you eat 70% of and the house repair you would do definitely if I am there or not is what you would always come and stand on my head for when we weren’t yet contributing in a joint account. Did you tell them you don’t take care of me and you are just so self centered about the feeding part because you eat more of the food? Yet I was still buying food oo no be say I go out and don’t bring anything to the house. I still buy meat, tomatoes, onion etc but maybe not just up to the person who consumes the 80%

Did u tell them d day you took me out and water was bought which was like two years ago was a special day I think maybe Valentine or my birthday or something and “I was only asking to be treated special”. As per today na correct day, spoil me na.
Did you tell them that I spoke of u buying some thing like blender or electronic because you need quality one to last. The cheap juicer bought did it last? No
Was there not finally a decision where the expensive “binatone” blender was picked because for some things, quality is important so it lasts?
Did you tell them I met condoms in your other room and you alleged it’s your boss that came to your house to use it? Because you couldn’t tell him no?
Did you tell them that if I want to do something you would use my car and if you want to do something you would use my car and I said love should cover all this there should be no differentiating of car for activities and you can use mine when you want and viceversal?

The day he said I said drug was too expensive did he tell you he spent all his income that month already by 3rd or so due to poor planning and I used my income all for the month for food. Ofcourse I am sure he borrowed as usual for fuel for his car that month and maybe some extra things like suya etc you may want to eat and that’s why I couldn’t afford to buy that cream or is it even tablet I desperately needed quality type of drug to treat that ailment because it use to be stubborn when it comes but couldn’t afford it that month ?

In addition I forgot. The generator I would tell you to put on when wet had a generator house while some or most Nigerians just make a metal cover or so for their generator. So rain fell and the splash I could look wasn’t much and I would say it’s not like water entered this thing in its house like Dt just few splash on surface. I owned a generator I ran without it having issue before meeting you and while you where toasting me. I didn’t know I am unqualified to run a gen. I stopped touching your gen because it was complain upon complain or I am arguing with you by having a different opinion about ah it’s small splashes. Ofcourse if a gen was drenched would I with my full senses say lets put it on? When Nigerians keep their gen outside with normal cover.

You would go out and meet the true definition of a Nigerian woman. Take care of her is what a man does, send her money for hair, dress, clothes etc.
And still buy food n do stuff.
You would remember I was never a burden on u
I hope you would have love enough for her to cover taking care of her abi u would start complaining and shouting on her too. I just hope you don’t faint then.

On the other hand I Wld meet the true definition of Nigerian man who knows he is to care. Simple

bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

My dear brother, if you marry this lady you will regret it in your life. The signs are there already, if you pretend as if you don't see them, it will be disastrous, i strongly advise you to quit the relationship very fast

Iamafinegirl:
Looooool
It is my dear
Bring chair.
He can say it’s wrong to say my dear on foreign thread oo n say this was part of what is complaining of abeg that I use d word “friends” in general to people and I should be saying “my acquaintance” is doing ...... instead of using d word friend.

Stranger sir, sit

You're a typical Nigeria woman, and your yeye boyfriend is a typical Nigerian man. I don't want to comment b4 , but i notice its not issue that is far from my understanding.
I dont like commenting on such thread since I'm not married.
A typical Nigeria woman sees the family expenses as a mans problem and since thats how how most parent grew up children exhibit that that standard knowingly or unknowingly.
A typical Nigeria man will want to be in charge of his home because thats how African culture put it, but they fail to understand that female these days get same opportunity like they do and won't tolerate authoritative husband.
Both of you are stup1d , he's too broke to take Care of your type and you're too selfish and self centered to have maintained an expensive lifestyle without considering or putting yourself in his shoes.

You talk about him dashing out money, your not a good person on this part. Male children do have alot of expenses to take care of from friends family neighbors, your type want your husband to be only for you.

Since our parents time lesser ladies had money so I'll use my dad has good example. My kind of family , the bread winner always have hell of responsibility to take Care of. My dad cater for all his younger ones , family, friends and even ended up paying some million naira loan for a friend he stood for . we all felt the side effect, if you're the type of wife my dad had, you almost kill him with expensive lifestyle because you have lesser responsibility to cater for.

Men responsibility make them want to manage money , but look at your bleaching skull, mixing useless cream and calling it expenses . your not a responsible woman.

I've advice my friends and encourage them to break up with your kind of ladies that dont feel they need to be responsible at all.
When I mean responsible im not talking of buying expensive bullshit for yourself.

That your trait Is typical for girls, thats how my sis finished serving and was just thinking about her own self forgotten she has a younger brother and new to struggle considering me wetin I no fit do I get younger sis sef . Female don't want to stress themselves.. Some men are happy with that but not my type of guy.

Despite the fact my elder sis is way ahead of me, my younger cousins will always come to me if they need money. Its natural for men to want to please friend and family while ladies chose who they spend for.

If I was him, walai we won't work out at all. Firstly I don't run after women to convince them, if you're okay with us been friends then I'm cool.

Secondly I dont do pass myself , immediately I see you're the flashy type and I need to manage my money walai I won't go extra miles to do anything to you. I strongly believe someone I would marry should be my friend in the first place . then maybe we start doing other stuff together.
But when I have to please you for you to like me, that's a red flag. Do you know what friendship is? All your incompatible characters, both of you will take the blame apologize and work things out in a better way.

As for the house chores, if I'm not doing any other business I'll join my wife to cook and wash plate, in fact we'll do everything together because I don't like authoritative home. I want my wife to be my friend.
My dad was gentle and kind but the Same time authoritative. I dont want that do my family.

As per feeding , I will never ask a lady to contribute for that tho. I'll increase to normal food I do buy to cater for her own expenses , and when everything finish we go dey look our face.
For you to buy separate milk and he got angry, it shows he's stupid. Why get angry?

Both of you are the normal Nigeria couple. He want to have authority but don't have the financial capacity to do that. He's trying to please you instead of living a Norma life. Na fake life niggar

You're a greedy glutton , So selfish, you spend money eating junks and claim you eat little at home. You claim two years no sex but you've had sex within the two years.
The foundation of your relationship was based on fake life to please a lady, there Is no love or friendship.

You both came here to type trash base on what your both selfish mind tells you, instead of both of you to put ya sef in each others shoes and think .

Abusive words. Both of you lack home training, since my mum taught briddle of tongue many years ago, at our redeemed parish I've been the only one in my household that will never insult you no matter the words you say to me.

But here on nairaland , a toxic site when I mean your stupid, believe me you acted as one. In the real world I don't use such words. So both of you insulting yourself shows you lack home training.

As per your mumu husband that spends money like idiot, you need to learn how to manage money and stop feeling like the whole expenses are on you.

Omo ase

The5DME:
Trust me; it is.

You're not good with psychology if you think this story is fake.
They're many key details and content that even a gifted story teller cant manipulate.

Kriss216:
99thEnemy.

Here

Jesus Christ of Abule Egba

This is SERIOUS

Stupid fake story

wahala no dey finish..op if you are not happy with the relationship mbok quit.... aunty girlfriend if you are not happy quit..stop all this drama.




marriage is team work..thank God you both have good source of income coming in monthly....


there are many girls waiting to collect him within few seconds and mr op there are many men waiting to take her in few seconds.

iamafinegirl

I have read both sides of the story. Your man loves you and you love him too but you’re too protective of your own and yourself. That ends up making you selfish and self-centered which in the end would irritate the other party and in no time become reflective in the relationship. At the point when you both started staying together, you should have let alot of your guard down and try to warm up to the idea of a forever with him, you never did.

All the nasties you accused him of could have been true but I believe its a direct product of your lack of commitment & dedication to the togetherness. Considering your financial standing and the liabilities he was incurring, you should have been 100% responsible for food at least! How much are two working class people who are barely home going to eat in a month? The man pays rent, gas, power etc. on the same salary as you! I mean this man is buying new tv & all, you have the guts to bother him about blender, how much for blender? For your own kitchen?

You talk about him being broke before the 3rd. Yes, thats normal. Most of us men have to carry tons responsibilities from women, friends, family etc. We are always mostly broke. Na God dey help us. You say he’s got a 14M loan running and he hasn’t finished the house he should have etc. It will be bad for him if he has been squandering but that also reflects badly on you. Put him in a position where he looks back and says to himself I could never have achieved all of this without her. Be his partner not a competitor.

Why are you two building separate houses at this time of your lives. Looks like you lot are already preparing for the day you go your separate ways cus me I’m not understanding. You should be building a house together with y’all names on the papers. That would be your family home after that you can build for yourselves. Y’all have good jobs, na money dey shack una.

The man is the boss, you have to make him feel like it. My uncles wife will kneel down to serve him, call him Sir and all that. Na she dey control am� Whatever he wants to do if she doesn’t approve forget it. Who then is the real boss? Humble yourself, I know you can well survive without his money but its not always about that. He wants to buy car in naija, you think abroad is cheaper, he says he wants naija, leave him. Babe the gen is wet let it dry, even though you dont agree, e go still dry. Goan press phone if you’re bored. Stop being confrontational.

You no dey hear english can be worse than an insult when you’re intending to have the last word on a non-issue. It is annoying. Learn to understand your man, learn to be tolerant and you must compromise on certain issues but never lose your voice.

That marriage must happen this December. Na play una dey. All the best.

drtwist:
Thanks for the reply. With His side of the story I almost hate you for nothing but seeing yours I understand the problem is not with you neither him. It's just the both of you nature not to be able to communicate proper issues. The whole issues he listed above are nothing if you weren't working and if he is an understanding guy. I wonder why at dating stage you guys takes your problem to public domain and counselors , marriage will be hell to you guys seriously( please don't pretend things will change). For me I will advise you both part your separate ways at this stage and no need of bad blood because it can't work.
If he is reading this ! He should learn to understand how women think and upgrade on his rash handling of issues, then you too learn to do away with things that easily get your partner angry no man is perfect out there. Please don't look at peoples comment here because His post made you seems so bad .

You're very wise sir!

sorry o .

I feel ur pain

OrdinaryNigeria:
2 of u, abandon ship.

This marriage is not do or die.

Women too get mouth, if u check all she wrote, 70% are lies or highly embellished.

Jus go separate ways.

Am married to a woman like this too, I don't know how to escape

Iamafinegirl

Humble yourself and respect that man. Being at the same level and salary is decieving and making u argue with him and not respect him. Now the toxic atmosphere has chased out love.

Your man is even going for small girls in university because it seems u don't show him much love, respect and care.

But however, on the flip side, if the negatives u revealed here is truly nothing but the pure naked truth

Then that man is just another irresponsible man


Bwambasolomon
Op u are accused of living above your means, is this true? U trying to keep up with the Joneses? Can u cut down on your expenditure for peace to reign?

Iamafinegirl:
I still buy meat, tomatoes, onion etc but maybe not just up to the person who consumes the 80%

Kiss216 , this is what loving and caring people do

Iamafinegirl:
Nope. I was a virgin waiting to Bleep only him as we were planing a wedding this year.
I was scared he would use and dump me like most men do

I totally agree with you and respect your decision to remain chaste till your wedding night. It's rare to find ladies like you. Abeg don't succumb to pressure o.

If what she said is true, I concur with you but you should know that she too must have her own habit too.

But she seem to be a nice and obedient lady that has marriageable traits.

Though nobody is perfect just don't let your bad traits overshadow your good side.

STENON:
Hmmmm... this is a serious toxic relationship!! Run for your life Dear sis

Iamafinegirl:
Did you tell them that when we are talking
“You are not serious is a big INSULT for you”
Did u tell then that when u say I like trump and I say “me I hater trump because of this and that” it is already an offense and you admitted that maybe it’s true you having issues with me airing opinions because you are boss or what I don’t know? That was one day holyspirit made you admit...so you knew you had the issue all this while but you would be shouting I am the person arguing (I never knew different opinions was argument. I heard it first from you).
Did you tell them a simple conversation or difference in opinion even on a gist is an insult to you?

Did you tell them I think of quality and wen a frying pan was needed I was saying the new expensive ones sef are not good, they burn. Second new is better in this case and we got a second new one? Because it’s not necessarily about cost but most times you won’t even be able to understand the depth of what I suggest sometimes.

Did you tell them I explained something one day that I paid money to so and so person to avoid a problem and you tried to give me another solution to have taken and I was like “me I don’t want wahala oo thats why I did what I did@ and because everything is fight and arguement for you you had stood up stormed out of the house because you felt i said I don’t want your wahala etc when all I was saying is that I didn’t want wahala if d issue boomeranged and so I didn’t even look for other means I just did d surest method in question” did u settle down to listen or because you never patient and always ready to call everything an argument or fight you had kickstarted your nature?

Did you tell them you wanted a car and I said this car is too expensive tell someone who we know imports to bring for you although the person could delay and may change the car you agreed on but I said do a written agreement with him so it would be cheaper for you and that way he won’t do anything funny ? And you would spend less and get a better grade or level like the one I got instead of paying for something lower at the same price as the one you paid for in town. Out of love, did you not turn it to fight and say I am wicked, and louded the issue and dramatised it as being evil.
Did you tell them you lied to me that you don’t drink or smoke?
But you drink and lied from foundation of a relationship to win a girl?
When I realised out of anger I said you lied to me you don’t drink but you are a drunkard.
Did your remember saying my father who doesn’t drink at all and you know fully is the drunkard
You have called me demonic woman
You have called me stupid woman
You have called me very stupid woman
When you were trying to win me and I was saying no no I didn’t want, leave me and you were ever persistent didn’t I tell you I am scared the depth of what you feel is more of obsessive not love?
Then I should to shout I would say cause am not a lier that you should leave me, is it by force etc etc which u refer to today and I do tell you then your pressure was too much and I didn’t like you which is normal to any woman who didn’t initially like a man that kept pressuring her...knocking her gate over and over on different occasions etc.

The list is endless but if we discussing and you don’t understand what I am saying and I am frustrated talking and I say “you no dey understand English” you just flare up that that is a big insult.
Things that aren’t insults you made them insults to defend yourself.
Did you tell them the most times we went to Shoprite then I use to be the one buying things...and you usually pick nothing. So why should Shoprite be so expensive if I buy water “nestle water” and other things from there even before we ever dated and you used to follow me there to win me and I never asked you to pay for me or use you as a toaster?

Did you tell them that you are building and I am also building? And the months you spent all your salary not even on the building alone oo. Busy dashing people and at 3rd of the month you were broke and I was like how would we handle the house you said I am there and I held those months because that’s what a good woman would do.

Did you tell dem that wen you arrived at the counsellor we told them we had a 60k and 40k rule as at then but we just weren’t piling it in the same account and the pastor said ok we should do it as a joint account so no one would feel he is bringing all the money” and we stop spending differently. you told them it’s the pastor who proposed it or he told us that ok you people should just put the money in a seperate account and the wife asked what else is making you angry and you said contributions for repair should be added”.

Did you tell them that when your drivers license expired and there was a delay with joint account , you said you would keep some part of the contribution for where you stay but I must submit all my own contribution to your younger sisters account while you submit just some to her because you don’t trust me with money. The younger sister would now be the one dishing out the feeding money to me who is the one working? While you comfortably keep part of your contribution as a boss. Did you tell them I said you should give her all if i would also have to submit my own all to her since she is the chosen financial manager of our own institution so she can be dishing out money to both of us as at when due since distance is not a barrier to bank transfer so I would also monitor u because you don’t trust me with money and you want to monitor what I am eating when u aren’t even there with me.

Did you tell them you don’t live according to your means and you always borrowing and financing a lifestyle heavier than you inclusive of feeding (because you eat 70-80%) of all the food in the house? Did you tell them you have collected above 14 million naira loan and you haven’t completed any house you are building aside still having normal money people have used to complete their own houses.

Did you tell them you give them babes money and say send me your account number Cus I have seen it but to buy Apple extra for me out of a budget as per my love this one na for u from my pocket? Did you tell then as we came back from your location you had meeting with your babe asking if hostel has resumed and all by 6pm same day?

Did u tell them that I had been using clin-cap face cream, benzoxide peroxide face cream, and you have been using it with me and I have never said this cream is 2000 and the other is 1000 let’s contribute from budget but you bought olaybact for me 400 naira and you were balancing account for me?

Did you tell them I did a soap mix of 13000 naira to 15,000 naira and you have been lovingly using it With me since January and I have never in my life said your contribution for soap but you won’t even do it, if you did sef you would have been asking for money by now.

Did you tell them that even to buy apple while taking me to were you lived loveingly as per this is my new location has to be from the budget and that you couldn’t say babes aside this budget this for you?
Did you tell them I also contributed for the fuel as you were taking me lovingly to your new location? Location you dey go dey come yourself but as I go follow u go know d place I must pay for transport. I for kukuma just enter public transport. But I don’t even have a problem with that since that’s what he wanted. We just accounted for my path

Did you tell them...that I am not wasteful and you went ahead to do things you wanted to do and started blaming me for it. Like buying a new tv when your mum was around for them...knowing fully well I hardly look at a television and you did it for you and yours?
Did you tell them this girl who doesn’t contribute lovingly gives your sis money and also give your mum at least in the best way I can afford within my means but you no send me message so that’s my business you are not even seeing it. Na me send myself?
When last did you buy me a gift in a year and half? It was a wig when you were still trying to toast me. That was only when you were trying to win my heart.
Did you tell them you don’t do anything for me I don’t ask you for money for cloth, hair etc or my own fuel as I am a responsible adult and not a burden on a man which you know yourself. Did you let them know that the food you eat 70% of and the house repair you would do definitely if I am there or not is what you would always come and stand on my head for when we weren’t yet contributing in a joint account. Did you tell them you don’t take care of me and you are just so self centered about the feeding part because you eat more of the food? Yet I was still buying food oo no be say I go out and don’t bring anything to the house. I still buy meat, tomatoes, onion etc but maybe not just up to the person who consumes the 80%

Did u tell them d day you took me out and water was bought which was like two years ago was a special day I think maybe Valentine or my birthday or something and “I was only asking to be treated special”. As per today na correct day, spoil me na.
Did you tell them that I spoke of u buying some thing like blender or electronic because you need quality one to last. The cheap juicer bought did it last? No
Was there not finally a decision where the expensive “binatone” blender was picked because for some things, quality is important so it lasts?
Did you tell them I met condoms in your other room and you alleged it’s your boss that came to your house to use it? Because you couldn’t tell him no?
Did you tell them that if I want to do something you would use my car and if you want to do something you would use my car and I said love should cover all this there should be no differentiating of car for activities and you can use mine when you want and viceversal?

The day he said I said drug was too expensive did he tell you he spent all his income that month already by 3rd or so due to poor planning and I used my income all for the month for food. Ofcourse I am sure he borrowed as usual for fuel for his car that month and maybe some extra things like suya etc you may want to eat and that’s why I couldn’t afford to buy that cream or is it even tablet I desperately needed quality type of drug to treat that ailment because it use to be stubborn when it comes but couldn’t afford it that month ?

In addition I forgot. The generator I would tell you to put on when wet had a generator house while some or most Nigerians just make a metal cover or so for their generator. So rain fell and the splash I could look wasn’t much and I would say it’s not like water entered this thing in its house like Dt just few splash on surface. I owned a generator I ran without it having issue before meeting you and while you where toasting me. I didn’t know I am unqualified to run a gen. I stopped touching your gen because it was complain upon complain or I am arguing with you by having a different opinion about ah it’s small splashes. Ofcourse if a gen was drenched would I with my full senses say lets put it on? When Nigerians keep their gen outside with normal cover. The days rain was so much and it drenched, we carried out the gen outside to air.

You would go out and meet the true definition of a Nigerian woman. Take care of her is what a man does, send her money for hair, dress, clothes etc.
And still buy food n do stuff.
You would remember I was never a burden on u
I hope you would have love enough for her to cover taking care of her abi u would start complaining and shouting on her too. I just hope you don’t faint then.

On the other hand I Wld meet the true definition of Nigerian man who knows he is to care at least and would appreciate that I am blessing and a good woman and not the typical African woman wen I also take up things at home. Simple

You endured all these just to get married?

Why?

You were capable, why did You leave your house to live with Him?
Take Care

Iamafinegirl:
Did you tell them that when we are talking
“You are not serious is a big INSULT for you”
Did u tell then that when u say I like trump and I say “me I hater trump because of this and that” it is already an offense and you admitted that maybe it’s true you having issues with me airing opinions because you are boss or what I don’t know? That was one day holyspirit made you admit...so you knew you had the issue all this while but you would be shouting I am the person arguing (I never knew different opinions was argument. I heard it first from you).
Did you tell them a simple conversation or difference in opinion even on a gist is an insult to you?

Did you tell them I think of quality and wen a frying pan was needed I was saying the new expensive ones sef are not good, they burn. Second new is better in this case and we got a second new one? Because it’s not necessarily about cost but most times you won’t even be able to understand the depth of what I suggest sometimes.

Did you tell them I explained something one day that I paid money to so and so person to avoid a problem and you tried to give me another solution to have taken and I was like “me I don’t want wahala oo thats why I did what I did@ and because everything is fight and arguement for you you had stood up stormed out of the house because you felt i said I don’t want your wahala etc when all I was saying is that I didn’t want wahala if d issue boomeranged and so I didn’t even look for other means I just did d surest method in question” did u settle down to listen or because you never patient and always ready to call everything an argument or fight you had kickstarted your nature?

Did you tell them you wanted a car and I said this car is too expensive tell someone who we know imports to bring for you although the person could delay and may change the car you agreed on but I said do a written agreement with him so it would be cheaper for you and that way he won’t do anything funny ? And you would spend less and get a better grade or level like the one I got instead of paying for something lower at the same price as the one you paid for in town. Out of love, did you not turn it to fight and say I am wicked, and louded the issue and dramatised it as being evil.
Did you tell them you lied to me that you don’t drink or smoke?
But you drink and lied from foundation of a relationship to win a girl?
When I realised out of anger I said you lied to me you don’t drink but you are a drunkard.
Did your remember saying my father who doesn’t drink at all and you know fully is the drunkard
You have called me demonic woman
You have called me stupid woman
You have called me very stupid woman
When you were trying to win me and I was saying no no I didn’t want, leave me and you were ever persistent didn’t I tell you I am scared the depth of what you feel is more of obsessive not love?
Then I should to shout I would say cause am not a lier that you should leave me, is it by force etc etc which u refer to today and I do tell you then your pressure was too much and I didn’t like you which is normal to any woman who didn’t initially like a man that kept pressuring her...knocking her gate over and over on different occasions etc.

The list is endless but if we discussing and you don’t understand what I am saying and I am frustrated talking and I say “you no dey understand English” you just flare up that that is a big insult.
Things that aren’t insults you made them insults to defend yourself.
Did you tell them the most times we went to Shoprite then I use to be the one buying things...and you usually pick nothing. So why should Shoprite be so expensive if I buy water “nestle water” and other things from there even before we ever dated and you used to follow me there to win me and I never asked you to pay for me or use you as a toaster?

Did you tell them that you are building and I am also building? And the months you spent all your salary not even on the building alone oo. Busy dashing people and at 3rd of the month you were broke and I was like how would we handle the house you said I am there and I held those months because that’s what a good woman would do.

Did you tell dem that wen you arrived at the counsellor we told them we had a 60k and 40k rule as at then but we just weren’t piling it in the same account and the pastor said ok we should do it as a joint account so no one would feel he is bringing all the money” and we stop spending differently. you told them it’s the pastor who proposed it or he told us that ok you people should just put the money in a seperate account and the wife asked what else is making you angry and you said contributions for repair should be added”.

Did you tell them that when your drivers license expired and there was a delay with joint account , you said you would keep some part of the contribution for where you stay but I must submit all my own contribution to your younger sisters account while you submit just some to her because you don’t trust me with money. The younger sister would now be the one dishing out the feeding money to me who is the one working? While you comfortably keep part of your contribution as a boss. Did you tell them I said you should give her all if i would also have to submit my own all to her since she is the chosen financial manager of our own institution so she can be dishing out money to both of us as at when due since distance is not a barrier to bank transfer so I would also monitor u because you don’t trust me with money and you want to monitor what I am eating when u aren’t even there with me.

Did you tell them you don’t live according to your means and you always borrowing and financing a lifestyle heavier than you inclusive of feeding (because you eat 70-80%) of all the food in the house? Did you tell them you have collected above 14 million naira loan and you haven’t completed any house you are building aside still having normal money people have used to complete their own houses.

Did you tell them you give them babes money and say send me your account number Cus I have seen it but to buy Apple extra for me out of a budget as per my love this one na for u from my pocket? Did you tell then as we came back from your location you had meeting with your babe asking if hostel has resumed and all by 6pm same day?

Did u tell them that I had been using clin-cap face cream, benzoxide peroxide face cream, and you have been using it with me and I have never said this cream is 2000 and the other is 1000 let’s contribute from budget but you bought olaybact for me 400 naira and you were balancing account for me?

Did you tell them I did a soap mix of 13000 naira to 15,000 naira and you have been lovingly using it With me since January and I have never in my life said your contribution for soap but you won’t even do it, if you did sef you would have been asking for money by now.

Did you tell them that even to buy apple while taking me to were you lived loveingly as per this is my new location has to be from the budget and that you couldn’t say babes aside this budget this for you?
Did you tell them I also contributed for the fuel as you were taking me lovingly to your new location? Location you dey go dey come yourself but as I go follow u go know d place I must pay for transport. I for kukuma just enter public transport. But I don’t even have a problem with that since that’s what he wanted. We just accounted for my path

Did you tell them...that I am not wasteful and you went ahead to do things you wanted to do and started blaming me for it. Like buying a new tv when your mum was around for them...knowing fully well I hardly look at a television and you did it for you and yours?
Did you tell them this girl who doesn’t contribute lovingly gives your sis money and also give your mum at least in the best way I can afford within my means but you no send me message so that’s my business you are not even seeing it. Na me send myself?
When last did you buy me a gift in a year and half? It was a wig when you were still trying to toast me. That was only when you were trying to win my heart.
Did you tell them you don’t do anything for me I don’t ask you for money for cloth, hair etc or my own fuel as I am a responsible adult and not a burden on a man which you know yourself. Did you let them know that the food you eat 70% of and the house repair you would do definitely if I am there or not is what you would always come and stand on my head for when we weren’t yet contributing in a joint account. Did you tell them you don’t take care of me and you are just so self centered about the feeding part because you eat more of the food? Yet I was still buying food oo no be say I go out and don’t bring anything to the house. I still buy meat, tomatoes, onion etc but maybe not just up to the person who consumes the 80%

Did u tell them d day you took me out and water was bought which was like two years ago was a special day I think maybe Valentine or my birthday or something and “I was only asking to be treated special”. As per today na correct day, spoil me na.
Did you tell them that I spoke of u buying some thing like blender or electronic because you need quality one to last. The cheap juicer bought did it last? No
Was there not finally a decision where the expensive “binatone” blender was picked because for some things, quality is important so it lasts?
Did you tell them I met condoms in your other room and you alleged it’s your boss that came to your house to use it? Because you couldn’t tell him no?
Did you tell them that if I want to do something you would use my car and if you want to do something you would use my car and I said love should cover all this there should be no differentiating of car for activities and you can use mine when you want and viceversal?

The day he said I said drug was too expensive did he tell you he spent all his income that month already by 3rd or so due to poor planning and I used my income all for the month for food. Ofcourse I am sure he borrowed as usual for fuel for his car that month and maybe some extra things like suya etc you may want to eat and that’s why I couldn’t afford to buy that cream or is it even tablet I desperately needed quality type of drug to treat that ailment because it use to be stubborn when it comes but couldn’t afford it that month ?

In addition I forgot. The generator I would tell you to put on when wet had a generator house while some or most Nigerians just make a metal cover or so for their generator. So rain fell and the splash I could look wasn’t much and I would say it’s not like water entered this thing in its house like Dt just few splash on surface. I owned a generator I ran without it having issue before meeting you and while you where toasting me. I didn’t know I am unqualified to run a gen. I stopped touching your gen because it was complain upon complain or I am arguing with you by having a different opinion about ah it’s small splashes. Ofcourse if a gen was drenched would I with my full senses say lets put it on? When Nigerians keep their gen outside with normal cover. The days rain was so much and it drenched, we carried out the gen outside to air.

You would go out and meet the true definition of a Nigerian woman. Take care of her is what a man does, send her money for hair, dress, clothes etc.
And still buy food n do stuff.
You would remember I was never a burden on u
I hope you would have love enough for her to cover taking care of her abi u would start complaining and shouting on her too. I just hope you don’t faint then.

On the other hand I Wld meet the true definition of Nigerian man who knows he is to care at least and would appreciate that I am blessing and a good woman and not the typical African woman wen I also take up things at home. Simple

i carefully read through your lines and to be sincere somethings are wrong.
you both are wrong and should work out your relationship.

Beckham14:
Dear Iamafinegirl and bwambasolomon,


Let go of your pride and settle this issue amicably.

Two wrongs, no right.

Invite me and pweetychyka for the traditional marriage.

U made a point and I wish they can settle amicably as u av suggested! But I am sorry, they can't settle cause they don't av a clear understanding of one another even after d intervention of a counselor abi na pastor sef!

But watever if dey decide not to gerrout and they invite us for wedding, I will definitely honor it if I am available to attend

what she said is true, I concur with you but you should know that she too must have her own habit too.

But she seem to be a nice and obedient lady that has marriageable traits.

Though nobody is perfect just don't let your bad traits overshadow your good side.

STENON:
Hmmmm... this is a serious toxic relationship!! Run for your life Dear sis

quote author=STENON post=99597860] Hmmmm... this is a serious toxic relationship!! Run for your life Dear sis[/quote]

Iamafinegirl:
Ofcourse if a gen was drenched would I with my full senses say lets put it on?

Kriss216 and Mosdii said, as a Nigerian girl you cannot have full sense

Mindlog:
"We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40"...Still imagining the Pastors doing the counselling, counselling a married couple or 2 people co-habiting? If it were professional therapists no issue with co-habitation but Pastors?

Surprised too. Must be one of these new woke churches.

RunzMAN:




Those above my comments have said it all @oP.



She is a Manipulating type. I always say it, First impression matters most. i.e how you started with your relationship from the first day will go along way....



I noticed you were pleasing her from the very first day.


Now, nothing is too late....So many Men are dying before their time in marriage cuz they started acting like you.


What you need from a woman is respect not Love.

Nope. Love and Respect!!!

bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

This your story is made up reason being i can pick holes in them.

Everything sounds too smooth to be true. Even Pastors advising unmarried couples on contributions to home keep..laughable.
Mbok next pls...