₦airaland Forum

It takes two to make a relationship work but she wasn't cooperating. You rightfully did what was best for you and your sanity.

Kondomatic:
One thing I find very annoying is somebody telling me how to spend my own money that's right inside my pocket.

Boss, you fall hand.

You see that place you buy bottled water for twice the price? Nah slap you deserve.

There was a time I was in Lagos for a seminar, I hanged out with babe and I noticed something about her. She used to come in the evening and leave in the morning[that's actually how I prefer my woman, like the moon. Show up in the evening and disappear in the morning] because of her work but this time she was free.

She likes to show off with my money.

We go here to eat, she will be like TIP this guy.

We go another place, TIP that guy.

The girl is nice TIP her, the gate man is kind TIP him, I was just laughing inside while TIPPING them here and there like a TIMPER.

When it was time for her to go, I brought the amount I usually give her for tfare, counted it so she know it was complete and then removed all the tips.

That was the last time that nonsense happened.

So you really need your lady to tell you to tip service people?
Tips are not supposed to be automatic, but if you get good service that’s the least you should do.

Most of these service people do not even get up to minimum wage and depend heavily on tips...
So folks shouldn’t come on Nairaland and form empathy with the masses and then shaft them in real-life.
>

Not all Nigerian men are truthful, that simp of Op lied to her about his dirty habits.

I dont lie to ladies I meet, though I dont drink nor smoke but I tell them I have an eye for ladies......most of them understand. Believe me, they still put it down on me. So I dont see need for guys to lie to women.

Where I know I lie to women then was I was working when I was not doing anything till God blessed me with a nice job.

I feel very confident, though some people see it as pride but I don't, I believe I can get most ladies I meet so I dont see any reason to pretend to be someone else.

So I dont lie in general bro......its good to be more truthful especially about your habits and lifestyle to a lady you meeting for the first time. If she fancies you, she will stay and try to see if she can change you.









quote author=9jaRealist post=99599435]

Meanwhile, Nigerian men are known for their truthfulness and probity...
Unfortunately, these are the sorts of crude MISOGYNY most Nigerian women have to deal with. SMH
>[/quote]

I hate selfish women aswear. Marriage is a partnership and should be so.

In my house while growing up, my mum ran our family so well and u will hardly hear Dem qurell.

Mum was a school principal and dad is a medical doctor and owns his own private clinic.

Mum buys bags of rice, beans, Large quantities of tubers of yams, potatoes and cartons of indomie, spaghetti, ton tomatoes etc all from her purse.

Popsi on the other hand payed our school fees, house rents and bought food stuffs too.

Mum never failed to buy new sets of clothes for popsi every month all from her own money because popsi was almost always busy at d clinic.

Popsi in turn drop cheques for mum which I helps her to cash most times and in most cases, mumsy fuels popsi's cars (popsi was earning more than mumsi Wella o).

That's partnership, and days d kind of marriage I pray to have.

These days, women (especially) Nigerian women have the mentality that ur money our money, my money is my Money. Very selfish mentality. May God almighty deliver me from such self centered ladies

Tufiakwa

bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

It’s ignorant and arrogant to assume that women don’t have financial burdens as well.

Zane2point4:
The moment they started penning down and setting rules on how to handle joint money, i knew the relationship had thrown in the towel.

She could hv given a little more, also a good woman stops the man frm careless spending even if she know he is a careless spender. And vice versa.

Trust me they're too many responsibilities hanging arnd a man's neck, its never too easy, they earn the same pay but its very easy for a man to go broke if he doesnt manage blc of too many bills hanging arnd him, so its understandable why his money finishes before next pay day.
Even if u wana be frugal with your spending, at a point as a man you cant simply run away from them. If village ppl no call you, your family will, if family no call you, relatives will, your levies abi dues still deh everywhere deh wait.

Matters arising.... @op see my take

1. These are two matured people living in thesame house n they no dey knack. That na to tell you say the babe no dey even feel you sef. D matter for different if to say na separate place una dey stay. But women like sex wella. And e go dey practically impossible say una go dey stay dsame roof n she no go don open unless she no feel you or she dey collect am somewhere....


2. That girl dey see you as maga. Woman wey like e man go always choose the cheaper alternative especially where no obvious difference dey between the alternative...


3. From wetin you write, e be like say she no dey respect you as she suppose respect the man of the house. All those small small arguments sef na just to show say you never still see why she go respect your words. This one na very big negative for the relationship. Cos they no dey easily change for here....


4. The insult for public ��‍♂️. She no value you at all. She don already comot the relationship for her mind. Na the next idiot to take your place she dey wait for...


5. I need to see those pastors. They need better flog. People wey never marry they stay together, instead of proper advice on how to live separately n keep themselves holy, na how to share expenses. Those guys are a disgrace to their ministry...


6. Bobby you be really serious mugu o. You never marry woman, you leave your furnished house for am, go another town come go refurbish.

Na anoda bobo go dey knack that gal under you AC. Iranu

I just want to ask a question...

Shey them use that mall swear for una?

9jaRealist:
Meanwhile, Nigerian men are known for their truthfulness and probity...
Unfortunately, these are the sorts of crude MISOGYNY most Nigerian women have to deal with. SMH
>

Absolutely exhausting.

bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

Its such a shame that you are about to get married to someone who isn't a helper. Two things are involved: you can decide to risk it and marry her. Its likely that she may change once the the kids start to arrive. On the other hand, she may not and it would be your sole call to provide. This is where your love for her would come in. For now, have a dialogue with her and make her understand how her orientation is affecting you... Good luck!

You both are not compatible.. No long talk

aroundtheearth:
It takes two to make a marriage work but she wasn't cooperating. You rightfully did what was best for you and your sanity.

You mean she wasn’t subservient...
Anyway, agree it’s a bad relationship that should end.
>

Just go your separate ways and spare us this long epistles. You guys moved in together and are building separate houses. That alone tells me you are not partners. You are just taking advantage of each other. You both need to grow up and shed the archaic mentality of only men or women to do this and that. Work together.
From what I gather, you are both financially okay but can’t have civil conversations and can not respect each other.
Throw away your pride and iron out things starting from the foundation.

If you had spent time together to talk face to face respectable about things you have both aired online, you would be in a better place for sure.

Goldbw122:
Her type want to waste your resources and leave you dry, she is not a material wife, find someone that can save your money and make your life like heaven not hell.. simple.

Oga go to page 2and read her own part of the story.
She already complained about this guy earlier.

It's not working ni.
Just move on.
The 2 of you are not compatible.
And stop dating girls that earn exactly 2what you earn. All this calculation is not necessary.

2shaw:
You had low self esteem bro u felt without her recommendation u cant function. Im like wtf,dumbo. Who u do dey big man to,hope her name is not oge. Is she an igbo girl. Shes greedy,manipulative, destructive,abusive, infact all the ives wey dey this world na him she be. Nawa o,were u thinking with your anus,still u no still blow her make she for get sense. Chai nawa o

Did you read her part of the story? You really need to do that. And I remember she has complained about the same relationship sometime last month.

Raymond0008:
From my view, it sms the girlfriend is from a well to do home and she’s use to that buoyant lifestyle but the boyfriend use scope won her heart and it’s hard for the girl to let him go because to find a financial stable guy is very rare these days Nd the guy to like her so much. Try to settle this, nobody is perfect or have a perfect relationship.

The girl to is financially stable and doesn't need to guys money. Did you read her side of the story?
Go back to page 2and read it.

Yoighaman:
@OP:

Didn't you know your babe is also a Nairalander?

I was about to post my comment when I read her expose.

It's always good to listen to both sides of the story before reaching a conclusion.

My spirit tells me you are the wrong person here; trying to play the victim card.

You don't know what you've got till it's gone.....

Some people are bashing the babe up and down without knowing her side of the story. They have even refused to read her side of the story. She even complained of the relationship some weeks ago.

Mindlog:
Getting hot........so Iamafinegirl and bwambasolomon are the characters in this tales by moonlight!

Tales by moonlight?

The posts are looooong!

Iamafinegirl:
Did you tell them that when we are talking
“You are not serious is a big INSULT for you”
Did u tell then that when u say I like trump and I say “me I hater trump because of this and that” it is already an offense and you admitted that maybe it’s true you having issues with me airing opinions because you are boss or what I don’t know? That was one day holyspirit made you admit...so you knew you had the issue all this while but you would be shouting I am the person arguing (I never knew different opinions was argument. I heard it first from you).
Did you tell them a simple conversation or difference in opinion even on a gist is an insult to you?

Did you tell them I think of quality and wen a frying pan was needed I was saying the new expensive ones sef are not good, they burn. Second new is better in this case and we got a second new one? Because it’s not necessarily about cost but most times you won’t even be able to understand the depth of what I suggest sometimes.

Did you tell them I explained something one day that I paid money to so and so person to avoid a problem and you tried to give me another solution to have taken and I was like “me I don’t want wahala oo thats why I did what I did@ and because everything is fight and arguement for you you had stood up stormed out of the house because you felt i said I don’t want your wahala etc when all I was saying is that I didn’t want wahala if d issue boomeranged and so I didn’t even look for other means I just did d surest method in question” did u settle down to listen or because you never patient and always ready to call everything an argument or fight you had kickstarted your nature?

Did you tell them you wanted a car and I said this car is too expensive tell someone who we know imports to bring for you although the person could delay and may change the car you agreed on but I said do a written agreement with him so it would be cheaper for you and that way he won’t do anything funny ? And you would spend less and get a better grade or level like the one I got instead of paying for something lower at the same price as the one you paid for in town. Out of love, did you not turn it to fight and say I am wicked, and louded the issue and dramatised it as being evil.
Did you tell them you lied to me that you don’t drink or smoke?
But you drink and lied from foundation of a relationship to win a girl?
When I realised out of anger I said you lied to me you don’t drink but you are a drunkard.
Did your remember saying my father who doesn’t drink at all and you know fully is the drunkard
You have called me demonic woman
You have called me stupid woman
You have called me very stupid woman
When you were trying to win me and I was saying no no I didn’t want, leave me and you were ever persistent didn’t I tell you I am scared the depth of what you feel is more of obsessive not love?
Then I should to shout I would say cause am not a lier that you should leave me, is it by force etc etc which u refer to today and I do tell you then your pressure was too much and I didn’t like you which is normal to any woman who didn’t initially like a man that kept pressuring her...knocking her gate over and over on different occasions etc.

The list is endless but if we discussing and you don’t understand what I am saying and I am frustrated talking and I say “you no dey understand English” you just flare up that that is a big insult.
Things that aren’t insults you made them insults to defend yourself.
Did you tell them the most times we went to Shoprite then I use to be the one buying things...and you usually pick nothing. So why should Shoprite be so expensive if I buy water “nestle water” and other things from there even before we ever dated and you used to follow me there to win me and I never asked you to pay for me or use you as a toaster?

Did you tell them that you are building and I am also building because we had started the seperate building plans before we started dating?

And the months you spent all your salary not even on the building alone oo. Busy dashing people and at 3rd of the month you were broke and I was like how would we handle the house you said I am there and I held those months because that’s what a good woman would do. I know men can have extended family responsibilities but women too have and it’s still ideal to plan inclusive of extended family

Did you tell dem that wen you arrived at the counsellor we told them we had a 60k and 40k rule as at then but we just weren’t piling it in the same account and the pastor said ok we should do it as a joint account so no one would feel he is bringing all the money” and we stop spending differently. you told them it’s the pastor who proposed it or he told us that ok you people should just put the money in a seperate account and the wife asked what else is making you angry and you said contributions for repair should be added”.

Did you tell them that when your drivers license expired and there was a delay with joint account , you said you would keep some part of the contribution for where you stay but I must submit all my own contribution to your younger sisters account while you submit just some to her because you don’t trust me with money. The younger sister would now be the one dishing out the feeding money to me who is the one working? While you comfortably keep part of your contribution as a boss. Did you tell them I said you should give her all if i would also have to submit my own all to her since she is the chosen financial manager of our own institution so she can be dishing out money to both of us as at when due since distance is not a barrier to bank transfer so I would also monitor u because you don’t trust me with money and you want to monitor what I am eating when u aren’t even there with me.

Did you tell them you don’t live according to your means and you always borrowing and financing a lifestyle heavier than you inclusive of feeding (because you eat 70-80%) of all the food in the house? Did you tell them you have collected above 14 million naira loan and you haven’t completed any house you are building aside still having normal money people have used to complete their own houses.

Did you tell them you give them babes money and say send me your account number Cus I have seen it but to buy Apple extra for me out of a budget as per my love this one na for u from my pocket? Did you tell then as we came back from your location you had meeting with your babe asking if hostel has resumed and all by 6pm same day?

Did u tell them that I had been using clin-cap face cream, benzoxide peroxide face cream, and you have been using it with me and I have never said this cream is 2000 and the other is 1000 let’s contribute from budget but you bought olaybact for me 400 naira and you were balancing account for me?

Did you tell them I did a soap mix of 13000 naira to 15,000 naira and you have been lovingly using it With me since January and I have never in my life said your contribution for soap but you won’t even do it, if you did sef you would have been asking for money by now.

Did you tell them that even to buy apple while taking me to were you lived loveingly as per this is my new location has to be from the budget and that you couldn’t say babes aside this budget this for you?
Did you tell them I also contributed for the fuel as you were taking me lovingly to your new location? Location you dey go dey come yourself but as I go follow u go know d place I must pay for transport. I for kukuma just enter public transport. But I don’t even have a problem with that since that’s what he wanted. We just accounted for my path

Did you tell them...that I am not wasteful and you went ahead to do things you wanted to do and started blaming me for it. Like buying a new tv when your mum was around for them...knowing fully well I hardly look at a television and you did it for you and yours?
Did you tell them this girl who doesn’t contribute lovingly gives your sis money and also give your mum at least in the best way I can afford within my means but you no send me message so that’s my business you are not even seeing it. Na me send myself?
When last did you buy me a gift in a year and half? It was a wig when you were still trying to toast me. That was only when you were trying to win my heart.
Did you tell them you don’t do anything for me I don’t ask you for money for cloth, hair etc or my own fuel as I am a responsible adult and not a burden on a man which you know yourself. Did you let them know that the food you eat 70% of and the house repair you would do definitely if I am there or not is what you would always come and stand on my head for when we weren’t yet contributing in a joint account. Did you tell them you don’t take care of me and you are just so self centered about the feeding part because you eat more of the food? Yet I was still buying food oo no be say I go out and don’t bring anything to the house. I still buy meat, tomatoes, onion etc but maybe not just up to the person who consumes the 80%

Did u tell them d day you took me out and water was bought which was like two years ago was a special day I think maybe Valentine or my birthday or something and “I was only asking to be treated special”. As per today na correct day, spoil me na.
Did you tell them that I spoke of u buying some thing like blender or electronic because you need quality one to last. The cheap juicer bought did it last? No
Was there not finally a decision where the expensive “binatone” blender was picked because for some things, quality is important so it lasts?
Did you tell them I met condoms in your other room and you alleged it’s your boss that came to your house to use it? Because you couldn’t tell him no?
Did you tell them that if I want to do something you would use my car and if you want to do something you would use my car and I said love should cover all this there should be no differentiating of car for activities and you can use mine when you want and viceversal?

Did u tell them I said we shouldn’t keep this house n let me go back to my empty house since you moved to new location. Did I contribute to the rent or not and you said you can’t or won’t receive the contribution so I won’t come and say I contributed to rent in future?

The day he said I said drug was too expensive did he tell you he spent all his income that month already by 3rd or so due to poor planning and I used my income all for the month for food. Ofcourse I am sure he borrowed as usual for fuel for his car that month and maybe some extra things like suya etc you may want to eat and that’s why I couldn’t afford to buy that cream or is it even tablet I desperately needed quality type of drug to treat that ailment because it use to be stubborn when it comes but couldn’t afford it that month ?

In addition I forgot. The generator I would tell you to put on when wet had a generator house while some or most Nigerians just make a metal cover or so for their generator. So rain fell and the splash I could look wasn’t much and I would say it’s not like water entered this thing in its house like Dt just few splash on surface. I owned a generator I ran without it having issue before meeting you and while you where toasting me. I didn’t know I am unqualified to run a gen. I stopped touching your gen because it was complain upon complain or I am arguing with you by having a different opinion about ah it’s small splashes. Ofcourse if a gen was drenched would I with my full senses say lets put it on? When Nigerians keep their gen outside with normal cover. The days rain was so much and it drenched, we carried out the gen outside to air.

You would go out and meet the true definition of a Nigerian woman. Take care of her is what a man does, send her money for hair, dress, clothes etc.
And still buy food n do stuff.
You would remember I was never a burden on u
I hope you would have love enough for her to cover taking care of her abi u would start complaining and shouting on her too. I just hope you don’t faint then.

On the other hand I Wld meet the true definition of Nigerian man who knows he is to care at least and would appreciate that I am blessing and a good woman and not the typical African woman wen I also take up things at home. Simple

Wow. This is why it's best to hear both side of a story.

I wish you the very best in life.

Good luck lady, you were a pearl he lost

Oga run ohhh

Rawhumper:
[
Bro you seem to be a SIMP AND ASSLICKER.

You think even the ladies will clap for you for this thing you wrote?

Who doesn't know that putting hot pots inside fridge is wrong. Putting on wet Generator is dangerous too? Etc.

If its other issues then you can say what you said but never on the bolded.














quote author=Joshcoli post=99596072]

The bolded part made me understand you have a lot to learn. If simple issues as this is causing quarrel please free the innocent lady
A woman arguing from the angle of emotion and you are trying to answer her tactically, you will make no sense. Man up and learn how to
address especially un-important issues as this

You are very right

Iamafinegirl:
Did you tell them that when we are talking
“You are not serious is a big INSULT for you”
Did u tell then that when u say I like trump and I say “me I hater trump because of this and that” it is already an offense and you admitted that maybe it’s true you having issues with me airing opinions because you are boss or what I don’t know? That was one day holyspirit made you admit...so you knew you had the issue all this while but you would be shouting I am the person arguing (I never knew different opinions was argument. I heard it first from you).
Did you tell them a simple conversation or difference in opinion even on a gist is an insult to you?

Did you tell them I think of quality and wen a frying pan was needed I was saying the new expensive ones sef are not good, they burn. Second new is better in this case and we got a second new one? Because it’s not necessarily about cost but most times you won’t even be able to understand the depth of what I suggest sometimes.

Did you tell them I explained something one day that I paid money to so and so person to avoid a problem and you tried to give me another solution to have taken and I was like “me I don’t want wahala oo thats why I did what I did@ and because everything is fight and arguement for you you had stood up stormed out of the house because you felt i said I don’t want your wahala etc when all I was saying is that I didn’t want wahala if d issue boomeranged and so I didn’t even look for other means I just did d surest method in question” did u settle down to listen or because you never patient and always ready to call everything an argument or fight you had kickstarted your nature?

Did you tell them you wanted a car and I said this car is too expensive tell someone who we know imports to bring for you although the person could delay and may change the car you agreed on but I said do a written agreement with him so it would be cheaper for you and that way he won’t do anything funny ? And you would spend less and get a better grade or level like the one I got instead of paying for something lower at the same price as the one you paid for in town. Out of love, did you not turn it to fight and say I am wicked, and louded the issue and dramatised it as being evil.
Did you tell them you lied to me that you don’t drink or smoke?
But you drink and lied from foundation of a relationship to win a girl?
When I realised out of anger I said you lied to me you don’t drink but you are a drunkard.
Did your remember saying my father who doesn’t drink at all and you know fully is the drunkard
You have called me demonic woman
You have called me stupid woman
You have called me very stupid woman
When you were trying to win me and I was saying no no I didn’t want, leave me and you were ever persistent didn’t I tell you I am scared the depth of what you feel is more of obsessive not love?
Then I should to shout I would say cause am not a lier that you should leave me, is it by force etc etc which u refer to today and I do tell you then your pressure was too much and I didn’t like you which is normal to any woman who didn’t initially like a man that kept pressuring her...knocking her gate over and over on different occasions etc.

The list is endless but if we discussing and you don’t understand what I am saying and I am frustrated talking and I say “you no dey understand English” you just flare up that that is a big insult.
Things that aren’t insults you made them insults to defend yourself.
Did you tell them the most times we went to Shoprite then I use to be the one buying things...and you usually pick nothing. So why should Shoprite be so expensive if I buy water “nestle water” and other things from there even before we ever dated and you used to follow me there to win me and I never asked you to pay for me or use you as a toaster?

Did you tell them that you are building and I am also building because we had started the seperate building plans before we started dating?

And the months you spent all your salary not even on the building alone oo. Busy dashing people and at 3rd of the month you were broke and I was like how would we handle the house you said I am there and I held those months because that’s what a good woman would do. I know men can have extended family responsibilities but women too have and it’s still ideal to plan inclusive of extended family

Did you tell dem that wen you arrived at the counsellor we told them we had a 60k and 40k rule as at then but we just weren’t piling it in the same account and the pastor said ok we should do it as a joint account so no one would feel he is bringing all the money” and we stop spending differently. you told them it’s the pastor who proposed it or he told us that ok you people should just put the money in a seperate account and the wife asked what else is making you angry and you said contributions for repair should be added”.

Did you tell them that when your drivers license expired and there was a delay with joint account , you said you would keep some part of the contribution for where you stay but I must submit all my own contribution to your younger sisters account while you submit just some to her because you don’t trust me with money. The younger sister would now be the one dishing out the feeding money to me who is the one working? While you comfortably keep part of your contribution as a boss. Did you tell them I said you should give her all if i would also have to submit my own all to her since she is the chosen financial manager of our own institution so she can be dishing out money to both of us as at when due since distance is not a barrier to bank transfer so I would also monitor u because you don’t trust me with money and you want to monitor what I am eating when u aren’t even there with me.

Did you tell them you don’t live according to your means and you always borrowing and financing a lifestyle heavier than you inclusive of feeding (because you eat 70-80%) of all the food in the house? Did you tell them you have collected above 14 million naira loan and you haven’t completed any house you are building aside still having normal money people have used to complete their own houses.

Did you tell them you give them babes money and say send me your account number Cus I have seen it but to buy Apple extra for me out of a budget as per my love this one na for u from my pocket? Did you tell then as we came back from your location you had meeting with your babe asking if hostel has resumed and all by 6pm same day?

Did u tell them that I had been using clin-cap face cream, benzoxide peroxide face cream, and you have been using it with me and I have never said this cream is 2000 and the other is 1000 let’s contribute from budget but you bought olaybact for me 400 naira and you were balancing account for me?

Did you tell them I did a soap mix of 13000 naira to 15,000 naira and you have been lovingly using it With me since January and I have never in my life said your contribution for soap but you won’t even do it, if you did sef you would have been asking for money by now.

Did you tell them that even to buy apple while taking me to were you lived loveingly as per this is my new location has to be from the budget and that you couldn’t say babes aside this budget this for you?
Did you tell them I also contributed for the fuel as you were taking me lovingly to your new location? Location you dey go dey come yourself but as I go follow u go know d place I must pay for transport. I for kukuma just enter public transport. But I don’t even have a problem with that since that’s what he wanted. We just accounted for my path

Did you tell them...that I am not wasteful and you went ahead to do things you wanted to do and started blaming me for it. Like buying a new tv when your mum was around for them...knowing fully well I hardly look at a television and you did it for you and yours?
Did you tell them this girl who doesn’t contribute lovingly gives your sis money and also give your mum at least in the best way I can afford within my means but you no send me message so that’s my business you are not even seeing it. Na me send myself?
When last did you buy me a gift in a year and half? It was a wig when you were still trying to toast me. That was only when you were trying to win my heart.
Did you tell them you don’t do anything for me I don’t ask you for money for cloth, hair etc or my own fuel as I am a responsible adult and not a burden on a man which you know yourself. Did you let them know that the food you eat 70% of and the house repair you would do definitely if I am there or not is what you would always come and stand on my head for when we weren’t yet contributing in a joint account. Did you tell them you don’t take care of me and you are just so self centered about the feeding part because you eat more of the food? Yet I was still buying food oo no be say I go out and don’t bring anything to the house. I still buy meat, tomatoes, onion etc but maybe not just up to the person who consumes the 80%

Did u tell them d day you took me out and water was bought which was like two years ago was a special day I think maybe Valentine or my birthday or something and “I was only asking to be treated special”. As per today na correct day, spoil me na.
Did you tell them that I spoke of u buying some thing like blender or electronic because you need quality one to last. The cheap juicer bought did it last? No
Was there not finally a decision where the expensive “binatone” blender was picked because for some things, quality is important so it lasts?
Did you tell them I met condoms in your other room and you alleged it’s your boss that came to your house to use it? Because you couldn’t tell him no?
Did you tell them that if I want to do something you would use my car and if you want to do something you would use my car and I said love should cover all this there should be no differentiating of car for activities and you can use mine when you want and viceversal?

Did u tell them I said we shouldn’t keep this house n let me go back to my empty house since you moved to new location. Did I contribute to the rent or not and you said you can’t or won’t receive the contribution so I won’t come and say I contributed to rent in future?

The day he said I said drug was too expensive did he tell you he spent all his income that month already by 3rd or so due to poor planning and I used my income all for the month for food. Ofcourse I am sure he borrowed as usual for fuel for his car that month and maybe some extra things like suya etc you may want to eat and that’s why I couldn’t afford to buy that cream or is it even tablet I desperately needed quality type of drug to treat that ailment because it use to be stubborn when it comes but couldn’t afford it that month ?

In addition I forgot. The generator I would tell you to put on when wet had a generator house while some or most Nigerians just make a metal cover or so for their generator. So rain fell and the splash I could look wasn’t much and I would say it’s not like water entered this thing in its house like Dt just few splash on surface. I owned a generator I ran without it having issue before meeting you and while you where toasting me. I didn’t know I am unqualified to run a gen. I stopped touching your gen because it was complain upon complain or I am arguing with you by having a different opinion about ah it’s small splashes. Ofcourse if a gen was drenched would I with my full senses say lets put it on? When Nigerians keep their gen outside with normal cover. The days rain was so much and it drenched, we carried out the gen outside to air.

You would go out and meet the true definition of a Nigerian woman. Take care of her is what a man does, send her money for hair, dress, clothes etc.
And still buy food n do stuff.
You would remember I was never a burden on u
I hope you would have love enough for her to cover taking care of her abi u would start complaining and shouting on her too. I just hope you don’t faint then.

On the other hand I Wld meet the true definition of Nigerian man who knows he is to care at least and would appreciate that I am blessing and a good woman and not the typical African woman wen I also take up things at home. Simple

Abeg who read everything?

Iamafinegirl:
That was just me saying I wonder why I can’t or couldn’t unravel d drama or help it . I used to think I had sense or was bright but I met issue higher than me.
Let me explain myself. So you get what I meant so you won’t say I am saying something else I am not meaning

Me, I want you.

You shouldn't be calling each other names though. And since you are not sexually involved (at least not actual intercourse), you might want to leave his house, give yourself time to reevaluate the relationship. You both might not be bad, but just bad for each other and that is alright.

Like I said, I want you and I want to hear about your imperial college stories, I'm good with no sex before marriage too.

bignero:
Wow

Sister.. Sincerely i was tired of reading.

But please learn.. If a human being man or woman boy or girl say "you arr not serious is an insult".. Please respect their wishes, you didn't grow up together and every ones back ground and growing up is different, stop forcing what you think is right on another.. Besides that, if you love some one, how hard is it to not use certain words that make them uncomfortable? Simply you don't love this guy.. Hes sensitive to the way you talk and your attitude to that is take it like that.. Which is wrong,


There tooo many did you tell them etc.. You're storing up too many things to come fight this guy.. And sincerely a lot of things you wrote are in consequential.. I didn't finish reading please.. Ill read and edit if necessary..

Long story short, you don't love the guy, you guys should go your separate ways..

Edited and read to the end..
He bought car same price for what he could have gotten from America, i want quality blender etc, bla bla bla.. The guy isn't perfect.. But you're petty and self centered sister. End of discussion

Honestly o, i hv bn in this trend since, i wan read am till finish..
So person wey no get money for quality blender shouldn't buy cheap one again??

You see all these ppl forming classy ontop person own money, i deh hate am.

If u want quality blender, use ur own money buy am na, na even her suppose buy since na kitchen utilities.

This is what happens wen women get money.

carlos1:
I hate selfish women aswear. Marriage is a partnership and should be so.

In my house while growing up, my mum ran our family so well and u will hardly hear Dem qurell.

Mum was a school principal and dad is a medical doctor and owns his own private clinic.

Mum buys bags of rice, beans, Large quantities of tubers of yams, potatoes and cartons of indomie, spaghetti, ton tomatoes etc all from her purse.

Popsi on the other hand payed our school fees, house rents and bought food stuffs too.

Mum never failed to buy new sets of clothes for popsi every month all from her own money because popsi was almost always busy at d clinic.

Popsi in turn drop cheques for mum which I helps her to cash most times and in most cases, mumsy fuels popsi's cars (popsi was earning more than mumsi Wella o).

That's partnership, and days d kind of marriage I pray to have.

These days, women (especially) Nigerian women have the mentality that ur money our money, my money is my Money. Very selfish mentality. May God almighty deliver me from such self centered ladies

Tufiakwa

Did you happen to read the story on Nairaland earlier this week about the dude that threw her wife of 39 years (and mother of his 6 kids) `out of the street and into the streets? A wife he met and married when he was a nobody but a lowly junior employee in a company? Do you think the woman had been “selfish” all those 39 years? Did you think that she did not “run the family well” or did not buy “bags of rice and beans”? Do you think she contributed nothing even when the man was a struggling junior worker? Do you think he would have gotten as wealthy as he has without the wife “running the household well” and raising the kids well (who all seem to have proceeded on to successful education and careers)? You think that she was salting away money the whole time and just waiting patiently for almost 40 because any money she made was “hers” while the money he only started to make well after got married she also considered to be “theirs”?

Dude, please feel free to celebrate your parents (although no one really knows what goes on behind the bedroom doors of any marriage), but please don’t make precipitous presumptions about any other relationship but yours. There are a million and one seminal life lessons why women should be financially independent even within a marriage.
>

bwambasolomon

You are earning a good salary and that's why the cost of maintaining your relationship is so high, too high.
Secondly, you lack financial management skill, your financial literacy is almost zero. You are wasting too much income to maintain that relationship!
I hope she's not the only person you're taking care of with the much or little you have.

cococandy:
It’s ignorant and arrogant to assume that women don’t have financial burdens as well.

Babe, man own pass, not only domestic but extended o.
I mean full blown responsible family man, no be OP level o.

he didnt even bleep her

Regex:
You swallowed all these for 2yrs for a pussy you could get elsewhere? It's not like her pussy is gold. Damn bro! Damn!

he was waiting for the night of their honey moon

Part of Op issue is konji

I can't imagine a guy I am supposedly dating pressing all this calculator for me.
60/40 nawah o

Bros the babe dey work u...u r purely a client...n she gat u hooked.Best find way smash am n let her go

Regex:
You swallowed all these for 2yrs for a pussy you could get elsewhere? It's not like her pussy is gold. Damn bro! Damn!

Can you imagine? I gave up on op even as I was reading his tale. This seems like one of the totally hopeless cases.

@op. No comment...at all.

SweetCunt97:
You a very big foool. Who do you think you wanna disguise for? Ode oshi

Coconut head It's stinks