chiommy123:
I don't even know how or what to advice you but know that she feels more pain than you'll ever do so make sure she is always happy in what ever decisions you take. God will remember you in Christ name Amen

Yes, she's dealing with a lot too... Just like me. Thanks

IntentionTremor:


Thanks. God is love and I still love HIM. I don't love my wife the way I used to because of all these ish.
But I feel I have disappointed my father whenever I visit him. He doesn't pressure me about this issue except I initiate a convo. But the looks on his face every other time we visit speaks VOLUMES. I just want him happy seeing my children before he leaves in death.

Guy just chill...stop punishing urself n dat lady unnecessarily..... u can't just give up n b creatin negative aura insyd ur home by hating wifey cos no baby go enter that kinda negative aura homestead...enter this site firstly n call up d doctor gardennaturalhealth dot com

Bless up dude!

IntentionTremor:
So I married this beautiful lady after dating for one year. Two years after wedding we had a still birth of our 9 month pregnancy! 9 years later we are yet to achieve another pregnancy naturally.

Summarily, we have had 5 failed IVF cycles to our history of search for solution.

It's all making me sick. Mentally sick! In 2 years we'll both be age 40!! And I am the only male in my family!

Our last resort seems to be surrogacy! But I haven't had the sanity to give it a thought talk less of a try - even as she wants us to! It makes me more SICK!

These fertility treatment failures have made me hate, resent and despise her so much that we are now flatmates.

Because she had an abortion for her boyfriend while in school. I BLAME HER RIGHT NOW FOR THIS WHOLE SHIT.

I WANT A DIVORCE? Yes or No? Talk to me.

Are you a man at all? At this age, you are putting blame on your wife who with good intent opened up her heart to you for a peaceful home. And this is all she can get?

Swear with your future that she met you a virgin. You have also slept with few ladies before marriage and because they didn't get pregnant means you are smart.

Okay, I put it to you.. One of those ladies you once slept with is the cause of your predicament. Any man that sleeps with her and fail to marry her will never give birth until she gets married and birth her child.. The lady in question is yet to get married or dead.. If I hear Mogbe penren.

Now, you are to be blamed for your woes.

Brother, because you don't have child yet shouldn't make you despise your woman. Don't make her regret her past. Don't make her cry for just giving you true love.

If option A, & B does not work, opt for option C. Life sha must go on. Man we born, na pinkin go bury am. The man wey no born, na pinkin sef no bury am. You won't be the first neither the last on her.

Your pressure and negative thoughts is also a factor of the results you have been getting. Be positive in life..!

evil1:


chill man

I understand the whole age concept stuff but don't use her mistakes been a weak point against her.

It will cause more emotional trauma to her.

Stop having sex like your fucking. go on vaction with her, make passionate love, love making every day, yes I mean everyday like shes new in your life.

The best advice is for you to separate if you can't love her during these trying times.

You knew she had done an abortion before doesnt mean she won't conceive. Not everyone wether virgin or not is or will be so lucky enough to conceive during first few years of marriage. The problem might even be from you or possibly not any of you.

Marriage is not something you endure but a long term commitment you have to enjoy.
If you still want to continue in the marriage to enjoy it, seek medical help, pray like pour your heart to God and tell him what you want. Prayer and fasting is the key bro.

If you can't hold on for your time then divorce or separate from the marriage.

contact me anyways if you want to file for divorce or separation.

Thanks. I understand. However, we have sought premium medical helps in doing upto 5 (five) failed IVF cycles... In three different states . And if you should know, i was OK.. but she had issues reason the doctors are now resorting to surrogacy... So thanks again as I consider the seperation.

Dear intentiontremor, you go born. For you to be this frustrated, trust me your miracle is on the way. I was born after almost 10 years of childlessness.
Please start loving your wife. Forgive her I beg you and forgive yourself as well. Start praying , go into intensive prayers and fasting. Pray ceaselessly. God is still waiting for you. You will not die neither will your dad even if he is a 100, he will carry his grand son. Boil the roof of fertility tree and let your wife drink the water consistently and with prayers , she will conceive

Get yourself a girl who will birth your children. Abram did it when Sarai was slow. Jacob did it when Rachel was slow. At least you belief the bible, The list is endless there. Life is too short to please others. Your vision and mission in this life should take precedence over every thing and person, parents, wife and children included. Talk to your wife, about your decision, she would be pained at first but it doesn't matter. Your vision matters.

alterego17:


Guy just chill...stop punishing urself n dat lady unnecessarily..... u can't just give up n b creatin negative aura insyd ur home by hating wifey cos no baby go enter that kinda negative aura homestead...enter this site firstly n call up d doctor gardennaturalhealth dot com

Bless up dude!

Thanks. It's not easy to act OK when you're not sincerely. I will check him out and revert to you. Thanks

meetme01:


Are you a man at all? At this age, you are putting blame on your wife who with good intent opened up her heart to you for a peaceful home. And this is all she can get?

Swear with your future that she met you a virgin. You have also slept with few ladies before marriage and because they didn't get pregnant means you are smart.

Okay, I put it to you.. One of those ladies you once slept with is the cause of your predicament. Any man that sleeps with her and fail to marry her will never give birth until she gets married and birth her child.. The lady in question is yet to get married or dead.. If I hear Mogbe penren.

Now, you are to be blamed for your woes.

Brother, because you don't have child yet shouldn't make you despise your woman. Don't make her regret her past. Don't make her cry for just giving you true love.

If option A, & B does not work, opt for option C. Life sha must go on. Man we born, na pinkin go bury am. The man wey no born, na pinkin sef no bury am. You won't be the first neither the last on her.

Your pressure and negative thoughts is also a factor of the results you have been getting. Be positive in life..!

You cracked me up big time...blaming me for my troubles. Thanks. I was no virgin neither did I sponsor any abortion. I was more optimistic than her until the failed third IVF... The first IVF was my idea after allowing her process it two years after I suggested... Cause she has always confessed she will carry her babies naturally etc.
Yes I am under pressure right now and that's why I'm speaking up here before I lose my mind.

IntentionTremor:


Thanks. It's not easy to act OK when you're not sincerely. I will check him out and revert to you. Thanks

Nice one...dz year still dey early n u. Must carry ur own child naturally only if u start believing n also kill all doze negative vibes u hv been generating Insyd ur home

adadike:
Dear intentiontremor, you go born. For you to be this frustrated, trust me your miracle is on the way. I was born after almost 10 years of childlessness.
Please start loving your wife. Forgive her I beg you and forgive yourself as well. Start praying , go into intensive prayers and fasting. Pray ceaselessly. God is still waiting for you. You will not die neither will your dad even if he is a 100, he will carry his grand son. Boil the roof of fertility tree and let your wife drink the water consistently and with prayers , she will conceive

Amen. Thanks. I have forgiven but things are not how they used to be. Pray. Fast. I need you to help me do those cause its been long I did those .

Fiction.

Exmilitant:
Get yourself a girl who will birth your children. Abram did it when Sarai was slow. Jacob did it when Rachel was slow. At least you belief the bible, The list is endless there. Life is too short to please others. Your vision and mission in this life should take precedence over every thing and person, parents, wife and children included. Talk to your wife, about your decision, she would be pained at first but it doesn't matter. Your vision matters.

Thanks.

DontBullshitMe:
Fiction.

I would say same if I were you. Thanks stopping by though

Anigreat:



Even though the abortion your wife had may not be the reason for the failed pregnancies, but she deserves to suffer for killing an innocent child , and every woman who took a life of an innocent child in the name of abortion deserves worser fate than this. I can only pity the innocent man that will later pick her as a wife as he may suffer from what he knew nothing about as the op.


God bless the new woman you'll pick as a wife, and make her womb fruitful.

What about the men who impregnated the women and rejected the pregnancies? Please what fate do they deserve? Or are they innocent?

IntentionTremor:


Thanks. It's not easy to act OK when you're not sincerely. I will check him out and revert to you. Thanks

There is a TTC thread and an IVF thread in the health section. They provide support for one another. There are more women than men there, but they'll be glad to assist anyone.
.
I also do not think that the abortion she had has anything to do with the struggles you are going through now. Afterall, she carried a pregnancy to term.
.
You have not stated the cause of infertility.
Knowing the problem is what leads you to a solution.

Alright.

If your mind is made up on the separatin, you can contact me via email. I can't give you legal advice here but just know that Separation and divorce are two differnt things and both have different legal effects.

IntentionTremor:


Thanks. I understand. However, we have sought premium medical helps in doing upto 5 (five) failed IVF cycles... In three different states . And if you should know, i was OK.. but she had issues reason the doctors are now resorting to surrogacy... So thanks again as I consider the seperation.

Romanoff:


For the fact she was able to get pregnant means she wasn't barren. Infertility is a serious thing and most women aren't at fault.

Is she incapable of having healthy eggs?

For her to have gone through up to 5 IVFs, I can guarantee you that she is also going through pain. From hormone shots to extractions and implantations, it's quite a painful journey.

Look into surrogacy, if you need a fertility clinic, people could make recommendations for you.

You fit marry another woman now or try give another woman belle wey e no go work and you'd even hate yourself more.

Still hold on. There are people who married for even up to 15 years and still no children. There's someone very close to me who has been married for 13 years, they lost the only child they had after a month of being born, two years ago.

He married his wife as a virgin and he has chosen to stand by her and defend her from the persecution of his family and I believe the God that gave them the one that died is still in the business of giving babies.

Hold on to God.

Yes , wifey is a strong woman I must say going through all the rigors of each cycle 5 crazy times! I cried at the hospital when we lost the first natural 9month preggy. She didn't blink. Only cried when the 1st IVF failed reason I had us go outside our state of residence for a weekend. But she started loosing faith after the 4th failed but braced up for the 5th which was the worse so far! Right now she's stronger than I am.

To be very true to my innermost self, if the abortion was for me I would chill and carry my cross. If she was a virgin as well, no challenge. But the sad truth that the nigger who caused the damage is happy somewhere while I'm grinding and spending is making me mad.

God help me anyways. Thanks.

IntentionTremor:


True. But it's very difficult to pray right now for me to be sincere, I've not prayed in a long long while... I stopped when the third IVF failed...

Have you considered adoption?

evil1:
Alright.

If your mind is made up on the separatin, you can contact me via email. I can't give you legal advice here but just know that Separation and divorce are two differnt things and both have different legal effects.

Thanks!

mariahAngel:


Have you considered adoption?

Please don't go there. Thanks.

Winneygirl:


There is a TTC thread and an IVF thread in the health section. They provide support for one another. There are more women than men there, but they'll be glad to assist anyone.
.
I also do not think that the abortion she had has anything to do with the struggles you are going through now. Afterall, she carried a pregnancy to term.
.
You have not stated the cause of infertility.
Knowing the problem is what leads you to a solution.

Ya, I am also on that thread with my main moniker, followed the topic some years ago and still following. I got a lot of encouragement and network from that thread during our IVFs.
The solution to the infertility is a HYSTERECTOMY. Just so you have a picture of what it's like. Spare me the diagnosis for the internet's sake. I verbally abused the gynaecologist the day he told us that in his office.

Winneygirl:


There is a TTC thread and an IVF thread in the health section. They provide support for one another. There are more women than men there, but they'll be glad to assist anyone.
.
I also do not think that the abortion she had has anything to do with the struggles you are going through now. Afterall, she carried a pregnancy to term.
.
You have not stated the cause of infertility.
Knowing the problem is what leads you to a solution.

Ya, I am also on that thread with my main moniker, followed the topic some years ago and still following. I got a lot of encouragement and network from that thread during our IVFs.
The solution to the infertility is a HYSTERECTOMY. Just so you have a picture of what it's like. Spare me the diagnosis for the internet's sake. I verbally abused the gynaecologist the day he told us that in his office.
If the past is related to the present predicament I don't know. But my mind tells me if the abortion wasn't done this whole thing wouldn't have been there in the first place..

IntentionTremor:


You cracked me up big time...blaming me for my troubles. Thanks. I was no virgin neither did I sponsor any abortion. I was more optimistic than her until the failed third IVF... The first IVF was my idea after allowing her process it two years after I suggested... Cause she has always confessed she will carry her babies naturally etc.
Yes I am under pressure right now and that's why I'm speaking up here before I lose my mind.

I did for you to avoid the blame game. It will give you another angle to see how it could be sometimes. She's also feeling the pressure if not from your family but her environment. I understand your plight.

As a man, you should be the one to encourage her more. If you loose guard, and anything untowards happen (divorce, death, trying it outside etc), we both know, life will go on..

The fertility centers used, did you change at anytime. What about a through review? If you didn't change, can you give a last shot in any location..? I understand the cost and stress implication. There sha must be a way forward.

If the above is what you tried, have you considered adoption or surrogacy.? Yes, it's new to our environment but people have made it their last resort if A & B has failed.

Kindly consider other options. Having a child might be demoralizing with lots of implications but you shouldn't loose your sanity to this.

Keep hope alive by considering other options. Pls

IntentionTremor:


Yes , wifey is a strong woman I must say going through all the rigors of each cycle 5 crazy times! I cried at the hospital when we lost the first natural 9month preggy. She didn't blink. Only cried when the 1st IVF failed reason I had us go outside our state of residence for a weekend. But she started loosing faith after the 4th failed but braced up for the 5th which was the worse so far! Right now she's stronger than I am.

To be very true to my innermost self, if the abortion was for me I would chill and carry my cross. If she was a virgin as well, no challenge. But the sad truth that the nigger who caused the damage is happy somewhere while I'm grinding and spending is making me mad.

God help me anyways. Thanks.

You need to forgive her for the abortion, that is why you're being resentful towards her and it's possible the abortion isn't the cause of what you are both going through. It is probably easier to blame her for it.
.if you two can hold on to God and ride this wave together, trust me, there is nothing you both won't be able to conquer together.

God has already forgiven her, I hope she has forgiven herself and I pray you can forgive her.

Having children doesn't guarantee happiness in marriage. Many have children that they regret having cause those children ended up being a boil in their butt. Many had children and lost them all in a day.

I don't wish you bad, I'm just trying to give you perspective on how you can hold on to the love and companionship that you both have, use that as a force to have joint faith and keep trying.

If it's okay with both of you, also consider adoption. Giving a child love might open doors for you, you never can tell.

Don't put away your wife like some children are advising you to do, more than half of them don't even know what marriage is and also don't know God.

Please, be wise. The devil chooses our darkest hour to strike us down.

IntentionTremor:


Amen. Thanks. I have forgiven but things are not how they used to be. Pray. Fast. I need you to help me do those cause its been long I did those .

I will fast and pray for you. You can go to a neutral thread and send me your wife's name or yours. If you no conceive in 3 months, call me a liar

IntentionTremor:


Ya, I am also on that thread with my main moniker, followed the topic some years ago and still following. I got a lot of encouragement and network from that thread during our IVFs.
The solution to the infertility is a HYSTERECTOMY. Just so you have a picture of what it's like. Spare me the diagnosis for the internet's sake. I verbally abused the gynaecologist the day he told us that in his office.
If the past is related to the present predicament I don't know. But my mind tells me if the abortion wasn't done this whole thing wouldn't have been there in the first place..

I still don't see the abortion as the cause of the infertility. People struggle even without having terminated a pregnancy before. A hysterectomy is quite final. Have you tried alternative medicine to treat uterine issues? I don't mean roadside medicine. Also, is she weighty?

Romanoff:


You need to forgive her for the abortion, that is why you're being resentful towards her and it's possible the abortion isn't the cause of what you are both going through. It is probably easier to blame her for it.
.if you two can hold on to God and ride this wave together, trust me, there is nothing you both won't be able to conquer together.

God has already forgiven her, I hope she has forgiven herself and I pray you can forgive her.

Having children doesn't guarantee happiness in marriage. Many have children that they regret having cause those children ended up being a boil in their butt. Many had children and lost them all in a day.

I don't wish you bad, I'm just trying to give you perspective on how you can hold on to the love and companionship that you both have, use that as a force to have joint faith and keep trying.

If it's okay with both of you, also consider adoption. Giving a child love might open doors for you, you never can tell.

Don't put away your wife like some children are advising you to do, more than half of them don't even know what marriage is and also don't know God.

Please, be wise. The devil chooses our darkest hour to strike us down.

Thanks . I already forgave her. God has too. But the reality starring me in the face is beyond words.
Adoption is not an option for me. Children should complete the marriage for me. Even if they bring troubles, I will deal with it than deal with not having them in my home. Thanks

IntentionTremor:


Thanks . I already forgave her. God has too. But the reality starring me in the face is beyond words.
Adoption is not an option for me. Children should complete the marriage for me. Even if they bring troubles, I will deal with it than deal with not having them in my home. Thanks

Do you think you'll be unable to love an adopted child?

And it seems your last option is surrogacy. I'll suggest you take it seriously.

It is not as expensive as the rate charged outside the country.

I pray you're blessed enough to be able to afford it.

Look beyond your reality, it's what is limiting you.

Winneygirl:


I still don't see the abortion as the cause of the infertility. People struggle even without having terminated a pregnancy before. A hysterectomy is quite final. Have you tried alternative medicine to treat uterine issues? I don't mean roadside medicine. Also, is she weighty?

Abortion related or idiopathic, the childlessness is not nice at all. Even virgins have fertility issues. Yes. But this case has got to the end point as it were - surrogacy!

Alternative medicine? For assisted reproduction? I don't have any ideas though. You can share. She's not weighty.