cococandy:

Very well.

But This is also not the right time to advise him to go find another woman. Wonder why those posts are okay but my factual posts about abortion not being the cause of infertility is not at the right time.

I do think it’s appropriate because for one I’m not arguing with him. I’m giving him factual information.

Maybe if he stops dwelling on the wrong cause of his problem, a solution might come his way sooner.

The resentment he feels towards his wife, I’m sure she knows and feels it too. Negative feelings and stress can hinder the hormonal conditions that increase the possibilities of conception.

IntentionTremor:


The first pregnancy was after some rounds of fertility treatment after two years wait. All the same it's history. The way forward is the main thing now.
Are you sure about your conclusion, that RARELY does abortions (D n C) cause infertility?
Well , feel free to educate my ignorance. Thanks

IntentionTremor:


I asked during the courtship. Like you said, I was love struck.. that's why I went ahead to the altar. My brother the only male thing in the family drives me crazy the most. Again, if the abortion was for me, then it's a different ball game...maybe I would have been less agitated. I am really really thinking harder about going out of this marriage for my progeny and sanity.
Thanks

IntentionTremor:


I make bold to say NO WOMAN HAS ABORTED FOR ME.
Surrogacy in my case also needs an egg donor plus the surrogate mom! Thinking about it gets me so angry.
While dating I always stated I wanted CHILDREN early that's why I was getting married early.... I was less than 30 when we even married cause of how much I wanted to have the kids early! Alas!

IntentionTremor:


Thanks. I have been mute but decided to open up here so I am not swallowed up. If peace you mean is to keep quiet and keep repeating cycles... Then I don't understand you.

IntentionTremor:


Wow!!! What great light at the end of that tunnel! Congrats man!!! I celebrate you. That tunnel is so dark..! How long was your wait?
Sure I have made up my mind but needed to share a little so I don't explode.

IntentionTremor:
So I married this beautiful lady after dating for one year. Two years after wedding we had a still birth of our 9 month pregnancy! 9 years later we are yet to achieve another pregnancy naturally.

Summarily, we have had 5 failed IVF cycles to our history of search for solution.

It's all making me sick. Mentally sick! In 2 years we'll both be age 40!! And I am the only male in my family!

Our last resort seems to be surrogacy! But I haven't had the sanity to give it a thought talk less of a try - even as she wants us to! It makes me more SICK!

These fertility treatment failures have made me hate, resent and despise her so much that we are now flatmates.

Because she had an abortion for her boyfriend while in school. I BLAME HER RIGHT NOW FOR THIS WHOLE SHIT.

I WANT A DIVORCE? Yes or No? Talk to me.

IntentionTremor:


HSG wasn't good.
All these were precursors to the thousand and one lab tests and imaging procedures done before and during the ivfs etc.

IntentionTremor:
So I married this beautiful lady after dating for one year. Two years after wedding we had a still birth of our 9 month pregnancy! 9 years later we are yet to achieve another pregnancy naturally.

Summarily, we have had 5 failed IVF cycles to our history of search for solution.

It's all making me sick. Mentally sick! In 2 years we'll both be age 40!! And I am the only male in my family!

Our last resort seems to be surrogacy! But I haven't had the sanity to give it a thought talk less of a try - even as she wants us to! It makes me more SICK!

These fertility treatment failures have made me hate, resent and despise her so much that we are now flatmates.

Because she had an abortion for her boyfriend while in school. I BLAME HER RIGHT NOW FOR THIS WHOLE SHIT.

I WANT A DIVORCE? Yes or No? Talk to me.

JidennaJason:



The two clowns above me....

tchidi066:

Guy do you have a conscience at all, cause I've gone through this thread and seen how you reek of evil, telling a man to do away with his wedded wife because she has no child, what if that lady was your sister, will you give him same advice, desist from your wickedness, because it will come back to haunt you!

Hathor5:


What happened to for better for worse?

femi4:
You don't need to divorce her, marry another woman or have a child outside your wedlock

Saintmary:


I know it's not easy, both financially and psychologically,
Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.

eyinjuege:


You mentioned tissue deformity on HSG. Was she born with a uterus deformity or they found adhesions?
I'm sure before IVF attempts, they would have tried to correct the ?tissue deformity.
Abortions when done safely like I mentioned earlier should not cause infertility.
By safe- use of sterilised equipments by professionals.
Anyway, there are always options.
1. What worries you about surrogacy as an option?
If you can afford it, why not?
The embryo is still for you and your wife since they will be using your swimmers and her eggs.
Infertility can be tough, but it's a challenge that can be overcome especially when you have the wherewithal to make it happen.
2. If you're tired of the marriage and the challenges and can't bear to do anything more, another option is to discuss with your wife and let everybody go their separate ways.
3. If you both agree to have a polygamous marriage
4. Adoption
5. Etc
Sorry to hear about all the stress your family has had to go through.

Edit: I'm reading the thread piecemeal so missing some info/updates .
If you really cannot bear it anymore, get a divorce. I pray you both get your hearts desires even if with separate partners.

femi4:
You don't need to divorce her, marry another woman or have a child outside your wedlock

Hathor5:


What happened to for better for worse?

Malawian:

As an aside, why not go on a full month of multivitamin supplements (both of you), while also (very important for both of you), abstain from alcohol of any kind. You might be suprised

eseh1:
I'm so sorry about all these. I can't say I know how you feel, but I'm sure your wife can cos she's in the same shoes or even worse.
Please I do not think there's anything wrong with surrogacy. Please rethink it and embrace that option please.

I dunno about polygamy because it has its own wahala and divorce ain't the promise of for better for worse you made to her bro especially if the only problem you have with her is this child bearing issue.

Please have a rethink on surrogacy if you can afford it . It doesn't make you less of a man.

May God be with you both.

GboyegaD:


All I will say is be careful as "not all that glitters are gold".



Hasn't this taught you anything whatsoever lesson about fate?

BigDick70inch:


Mehn!!!
U really a man Oo........

Won't go this far...............knowing fully well I got married to someone who aborted in the past...........probably due to her spending her fruitful day with one irresponsible guy............

The only reason.........that could ever make me go 9years and bear all that..........is only if I got married to her as a virgin............

Just get yosef a child and stop wasting time and resources...........she might as well leave u if u couldn't father a child/were in her position..........due to yo reckless life in the past.........

IntentionTremor:


We have explored many options to the point we are now. Moving forward from here now is the main objective of this thread.
Thanks

Remijuice:
Please, the OP do not have hatred for his wife. He called her beautiful. This is for those of you trying to emotionally blackmail the him.

Talk to him as if he is your blood brother in this kind of situation.

*He has stated that he doesn't want to think of surrogacy. #respect_that.

*He made it clear he doesn't want adoption. Knowing fully well that he is OK.

*The first pregnancy was after some rounds of fertility treatment after two years wait.

*A tissue damage could possibly be as a result of the abortion she had for another man, who left her and now the OP is facing a fertility problem.

*They have been together for 9 years.

*He is the only son of his father.

*They have done over 5 IVF

*The op is already down and looking for a way forward..

1, would you advise your blood brother to continue waiting?

Or...



We are all here to learn.

kimoyo:



Thanks. 5+ years. It was really dark. I wish you all the best

Greenlandncom:


Try any of this products: Proceive or Fertiaid. Buy for both of you and take it religiously.

Also try and seek Spiritual help, who knows it maybe utterly Spiritual.

ThatPetiteChic:


I really feel for you sir. A family member of mine(female) is over 50 and hasn't conceived so I really understand what you're passing through.

If it's possible to take eggs from your wife and your sperm, then I suggest you open your mind to surrogacy. Though, it will be costly but it's your last resort. BUT if extracting eggs from your is wife impossible, pls sir, get another lady to bear you a child. All these options shouldn't stop you from loving your wife because she's also passing through a lot. Both of you need each other's support.

Baby dust to you sir.

johhbekeboh09:


Join a facebook group named DO IT YOURSELF (DIY)
The platform practically address diverse health problems via use of herbs with good results

michaeljh241:
Go to a marriage counselor, he should be able to help. Or maybe you need medication.

aroundtheearth:
May God answer you and wifey's prayers soon, IJN. Amen.