₦airaland Forum

Dang.

One of my favourite humans on earth.

I never skip his clips.

He died old. It's a celebration!

What is ancestral or spiritual about an Oni that has relegated the culture for a borrowed one?

Funny people.

Total shambles.

Losing as high as double digits to an African country is a big shame.

SlimzDboss:
I suggest that you follow the Japa route through studies with your family. That way, you won’t need to pay school fees for the kids anymore, and both you and your wife will be working.

20m to move a family of 4?

To where?

To start from scratch?

At almost 42?

Offpoint1:
I live in Lagos and I can boldly tell you that 150k can't feed the family of 4 in a month. Unless all you'll be eating is rice and noodles... If soup is included, forget it .

For basic feeding, it should, but don't expect to eat healthily every day.

I'm sure the wife is adding to that.

Cmanforall:
Why not say it is you?

If na me, you wan dash me ₦50m?

Berankis:
We have similar problems. I lost mine in shady travel arrangements. I have an asset than can pay my debts too. It's my uncompleted house but I don't wanna sell it, cos that's like the only thing I have left.
Still struggling to get back on my feet, being trying to figure out ways to repay my debts.
I am currently into Forex trading and trying to secure a loan to go fully into trading.
Sometimes, I just switch off my phone to avoid disturbing calls. I know I will get back on my feet but don't know how soon.
Guy, a man's life is not an easy one! A man's life would have been a lot more easier, peaceful and enjoyable without family. Building a family has led to the end of a lot of men.
May God help us...

Forex trading is actually dangerous to a desperate man.

At least be out of debts first before venturing into forex.

Hermanie:
So, can you explain how her stopping to contribute any money at any capacity will help you restore order? Is she a disorderly person?

And may I ask, while you're pouring all your financial resources into the family as you should do, what does she do with her own financial resources? Take care of herself independent of the family?

Don't you think on the contrary it will help you reach your savings goals faster?

Please I'll legitimately like to know.

There's a man out there struggling to carter for his family. He takes care of every single thing financially, basically has zero savings as a man. Since 2019 he has been using the same Infinix phone, meanwhile he has changed his wife's IPhone 3 times in that period. While this man is struggling to pay rent, he received information that his wife had secretly bought a piece of land and was already in the process of building a secret house

If he didn't receive this information, in the next 10 years he might still be unable to build his own family house because he can barely save any money, meanwhile his wife would have a secret house where she collects rent.

I think I clarified this already. The wife is the one currently shouldering all bills and she's showing signs of "cracks" in her relationship with the husband.

For him to mention "restoration of order" means the structure is breaking down.

Fiscus105:
He said, he wants wife to off hand, that's why I put it in my advice that, wife won't off helping hand for now, until he gets back to his foot

Okay.

dontai:
bro, it's takes two to really tangle, can the wife bare her cards on the table like this? The answer is no. So I'm still on point, like I said early, all hands must be (equally) on deck. Anything besides that is someone becoming a widow so soon, happy one at that.

Happy widow.

tuoyoojo:
That school fees seems abit high

I would rather you weigh other options for school, cheaper options that would give good education

The idea is to be able to pay the fees every 3 months without it causing you financial distress

School fees would almost be a million by the end of the session minus other things like transportation, books and what not

I believe school option was taken based on the proximity to the house and the house is also based on proximity to the wife's office.

Saves fueling for the wife.
Walking distance for the children.

The wife is earning a bit above ₦1m monthly

ShenTeh:
This is copilot's advise for him:

This man’s story carries the weight of hard lessons, but also the seeds of a powerful comeback. With ₦20 million in hand and a clear resolve to restore order and dignity, he’s not starting from zero—he’s starting from experience. Here's how I’d approach it if I were in his shoes:

---

💰 Financial Stability: Build a Lean, Resilient Household

🧮 First, Budget with Precision
Let’s break down the annual household expenses:

| Expense | Monthly | Annual |
|---------------------|-------------|------------|
| Rent | ₦166,667 | ₦2,000,000 |
| School Fees (2 kids)| ₦200,000–₦233,333 | ₦2.4M–₦2.8M |
| Feeding | ₦150,000 | ₦1,800,000 |
| Other Expenses | ₦100,000 | ₦1,200,000 |
| Total | — | ₦7.4M–₦7.8M |

That leaves roughly ₦12.2M–₦12.6M as working capital.

---

🛡️ Emergency Buffer First
Set aside ₦3M as a safety net—no touch, no risk. This gives breathing room for 4–6 months if income stalls.

---

🏠 Consider Downsizing or Relocating
₦2M rent is steep. If he can find a decent place for ₦1.2M–₦1.5M, that’s an instant annual savings of ₦500k–₦800k. It’s not just about cost—it’s about flexibility and control.

---

🎓 Schooling Strategy
If the current schools are premium, consider reputable but more affordable alternatives. Even a ₦100k reduction per term per child saves ₦600k+ annually.

---

💼 Career Stability: Rebuild with Strategy, Not Emotion

1. Audit His Skills and Reputation
He’s a consultant—what niche does he own? What problems can he solve better than most? He should:
- Rebuild his LinkedIn and online presence with clarity and humility.
- Share lessons learned from past failures (without shame—this builds trust).
- Offer free webinars or write-ups to re-establish credibility.

---

2. Start Lean, Charge Smart
He should:
- Package 2–3 core services with clear pricing.
- Offer retainers or monthly service plans for predictable income.
- Avoid partnerships for now—solo control is key to rebuilding trust and rhythm.

---

3. Diversify Income Streams
With ₦5M–₦7M of working capital after household costs and emergency buffer, he can:
- Invest ₦1M–₦2M in a small, low-risk side hustle (e.g., mini importation, digital products, car hire, or POS business).
- Keep ₦1M for marketing his consulting work (ads, branding, website, etc.).
- Consider real estate fractional investment or treasury bills for passive income.

---

4. Network with Purpose
He should reconnect with past clients, mentors, and peers—not to beg, but to serve. A simple message like:

> “I’ve learned a lot through tough times. I’m back with renewed clarity and focus. If you or someone you know needs help with [his niche], I’d love to support.”

That kind of humility and strength is magnetic.

---

🧠 Mindset & Family Leadership

- Transparency with Wife: Not about asking for help, but sharing the plan. Unity builds peace.
- Teach the Kids: Age-appropriate lessons on resilience and gratitude.
- Faith & Routine: Daily structure, prayer/meditation, and journaling to stay grounded.

---

🧭 Final Thought

He’s not rebuilding a life—he’s redesigning it. With ₦20M, wisdom from scars, and a clear mission to lead his home with dignity, he’s in a better position than many who’ve never been tested.

If he wants, I can help him draft a personal comeback manifesto or a lean business plan tailored to his consulting niche. Would that be useful?

The school fees cover for both children.

ajalawole:
imagine 1m rent yearly. Money he would have use got land somewhere

They have lands though..

You can't have an asset in millions and not own at least a land.

Fiscus105:
After paying your debt, I will advise you to take ₦10m from the money to the work, that you have been doing before you hit the rock, but this time, be vigilant and not enter fraudsters hands again.

The business you have been known for, would quickly bring you back to ur former level, far easier than complete new business or job, not even at 42.( to get new customers and trust of people to do business with you, it would take a while)

Meanwhile, the remaining #10M if you can save 8 million in fixed deposit account for 2 years or you buy shares, but I prefer fixed deposit savings, the ₦8M would be money to fall back on, incase things go south again, and if you bounce back, you collect it after 2 yrs and add it to the investment.

The remaining ₦ 2M, you will be using that for family upkeep until things come back to shape.

NB. Meanwhile, I biliv your wife job is fetching enough money too,in other to assist you at home,you need her assistance during trying times, stop the mentality, you don't need wife assistance, not even difficult times, if not, you must move out from high rent to low rent house. Also, you cut down many expenses until you come back to your feet.

The wife is currently handling the bills which comes with it's own consequences.

Stephen0mozzy:
Cut down your living standards to meet the current reality. This Will give you a clearer mind to restrategize and bounce back.

The major assets of people who have at any point in their career earned that much is CONNECTION AND NETWORK. It is now time yo leverage the relationships you have built over the years... Reach out to people you have good reputation with, let them know you're open to new contracts, jobs even part time opportunities to help you stay afloat while you rebuild your wealth again.

Foolery will be retaining a rent of ~200k monthly, 150k for feeding, school fees of 350 every 4months and 100k monthly miscellaneous expenses as if you were getting inflow as before.

Unless you want to sell off the assets to maintain a lie for 4years and pray to God that something good comes out, and comes out quick

They're actually okay with the rent. Wife's 2 month's salary + or - minus clears the rent and the school option is almost similar to other schools around.

As I know, they don't pay for school bus which would have been 50-80k per child for a term based on the proximity of the house to the school.

The man in view is just afraid of losing it all again.

Fears this is his last shot at stability.

dontai:
"...........He plans to be responsible for running the house this time around without relying on assistance from the wife to restore sanity/orderliness".

What's the meaning of this, naa una dey kee una self. No assistance from the wife and she's working. I give kundusi for Africa men/simp. I no fit, all hands on deck first!

The wife is currently the main financial of the family which is affecting the family structure in a not so positive way.

Hermanie:
Why is his wife not contributing anything at all to the home, when she's also an income earner?

She needs to carry the small financial burdens, like cost of cooking and so on.

Na these things dey quick kill African men. You're trying to carry everything on your head. Meanwhile your wife is saving her own income, using it to buy expensive wigs and sending money to her younger siblings.

If you check now, this man is most likely on medication for blood pressure

She has been, hence the restoring order quote.

SamuraiXXX:
When you are trying a build a new business from scratch you have to make sure you reduce your expenses and your consumption of luxuries to the barest minimum.

The first thing he should do is stop all activities that are not necessaries but tat take money out of his pocket eg club memberships, heavy spending on drinks and leisure, he may even have to move from where he is to a cheaper apartment (Except if his wife can comfortably pay the rent alone) so long as it will not impact negatively on his earning capacity.

In order to increase the probability of success in the new business he should start something along the lines of the skills and work experience he already has

Thank you

What would you do with the prospective fund in view?

Seems topics like this aren't meant for the Nairaland audience.

Holla911:
First, he needs to clear his mind and stop chasing losses else, he might loose that 20m#.
The economy isn't stable yet and sme's are closing daily because of cost of production and maintainance cost.
For now, you can invest in existing established business through shares acquisitions or government bonds.
20m# is big in figures but when put to production, it's not really much. Don't be in a rush even though I understand you have family pressure.
Set aside some money for food and basic household need for the next 6 months while you focus on doing research on what's next.
If he rush and loose that 20m#, na suicide go be the next advice he go dey ask (God forbid)
There are many vampires out there ready to suck that money from him as soon as they smell it. They will sweet talk you and show you bogus evidence of business success but na wash.
Be careful and guided.

Thank you.

So what are the options you think can as least give him monthly income enough to cater for the home front while he works on his financial stability?

Trueprophet91:
Please compare what you're saying now with your first post and stop deceiving yourself. I don't have time for online charlatans.
Bye

The original message is there. Stop bugging.

Almost 42 years
A freelance/independent consultant
With 2 children (Almost 6 and Almost 4)
Wife working.

Lost it all in bad collaboration, fraudulent investments, bad/wrong investments and also theft.

Got an asset that can give him ₦20m after debts are paid.
How does he bounce back with the above?

Rent is 2m annually
School fees is 300-350k termly.
Feeding ₦150k+ monthly
Others: ₦100k monthly


If you are in his shoes, what are you going to do?

He plans to be responsible for running the house this time around without relying on assistance from the wife to restore sanity/orderliness.

Advice him from the point of financial and career stability,

Buy building materials that people need during construction and keep them until price goes up.

Imagine buying aluminum frames in 2024 only to resell now, check the profit.

It doesn't degrade.

Trueprophet91:
You said she had to have feeling, now you're talking about "touch sensually".
People just come online to claim sexuality experts when they actually know next to nothing

Yes. I expanded the conditions.

Feelings first
Sensual touches 2nd.

Even a wife that has feelings for you can still not be ready for sex until you touch her not to talk of a total stranger.

Not knowing the above means you know nothing about sex and the female anatomy.

After using AI to write an article, at least edit it to make it human as possible.

You couldn't even remove the AI icon from the post.

Lazy blogger.

Eniitankorede:
No! But that is what they all say.

What do they all say?

Trueprophet91:
And where did you get that from?

Tell us otherwise. You have to touch a woman sensually to feel anything for you. (That's if you even tick her boxes.

Eniitankorede:
Thats not true. If you brush any woman’s nipples accidentally, she will be on fire, whether you are a stranger or not.

Are you a woman?

How is giving birth at 40 considered late?

You can only get aroused by someone you have feelings for without deep sensual touches or penetration as a woman.

Stop deceiving yourself.

Jeezuzpick:
Posts all over social media from eyewitnesses who claimed they were on the plane.

Any link to one?