₦airaland Forum

yeah,it aint easy,we strive towards it,while we still punish d bad guys

check this thread out,hope it would help,

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-19212.0.html

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered
Forgive them anyway!

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives
Be kind anyway

If you are successful, you win some false friends and some true enemies
Succeed anyway

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you
Be honest and frank anyway

What you spend years to build, someone could destroy overnight
Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous
Be happy anyway

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow
Do good anyway

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough
Give the world the best you've got anyway

You see in the final analysis, it is between you and God
It was never between you and them anyway.

@markusjay(n others who share ur view)
no need to get agitated,sometimes gatecrashin is allowed in some banks test.how rowdy it gets depends on the organisational skills of the organisers,n not on the applicants.uba conducts tests for thousands of appli.,n everyone gets to write,invited or not,cos its organised.some pple gate crash not cos theyre not qualified for the test,but cos they didnt know when the application/fillin of form was done.u could help a jobless,desparate person get a job just by sharin information.it could b u 2moro.if the gatecrashers come n they r not allowed 2 write,no big deal,they wont feel offended.or r u scared that they would reduce ur chances of getin the job?thats being somehow greedy.just help,give info,if asked.if ure good,if u'll pass,u'll pass,if u fail,u fail,n dats not d end of d world.

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks if he'd like a beer, and he finishes it. The bartender asks if he would like another. He says, "I think not" and disappears

pieces of me-ashlee simpson

funny thread

@olunifemi
good luck(5 heartbreaks,sorry o!)

DAMN!!

i'm not a fan of benz,

but,this is off the hook!

also,

4.service assistants(ref no:PE/CMT-Service Asst 2006):
req;hnd/b-tech in industrial physics,petroleum,chem or mech/production engr.
minimum of lower credit
no experience req
must have completed nysc
physically fit
cv format and posting address same as above

5. service assistants(ref no:CPT-Service Asst 2006):
req;hnd in mech or elect/elect
minimun of lower credit
no experiernce req
must have completed nysc
physically fit
cv format and posting address same as above

guys,girls,lets try our luck here,

job location;port harcourt and across nigeria

sector;oil service sector

1.trainee field engineers(ref no:CPT-Trainee Field Engr 2006)
req;b.sc,b.eng,b.tech in either of petroleum,mech,elect/elect,physics,physics/maths
minimum of 2.2
no experience required
must have completed nysc
physically fit

2. trainee field engineers(ref no:CMT-Trainee Field Engr 2006)
req;b.sc,b.tech,b.eng in petroleum,mech or chemical
minimum of 2.1
no experience
completed nysc
physically fit

3.laboratory technicians(ref no:CMT-Lab Tech 2006)
req;hnd/b.sc in chemistry,chem engr or lab tech
minimum of upper credit or 2.2
minimum of 1 year lab testing experience with a focus on cement/fluid testing and API test procedures
completed nysc
physically fit

how to apply;
send cover letter,
resume including copies of b.sc/b.eng/b.tech/hnd cert,o-level/ssce or equivalent,nysc discharge,birth cert
within 2 weeks(from yesterday 14th nov.) to
the recruitment officer
p.o.box 462
port harcourt,rivers state.

with ref no. clearlymarked on envelope

cv format

surname
first name
middle name
sex
date of birth
state of origin
schools attended:e.g univers of port harcourt, 1998-2003(B.Eng)
degree
grade and year obtained
nysc status:e.g discharged 2005
gsm number
email address
work experience(if any)
position held
job description
work years


good kuck!

I came across this and decided to share it.
Guys, were u once like this?


This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on Sept. 26, 1999.

Survival of mankind rides on the successful pickup line BY DAVE BARRY

So I was at this party, and I wound up at a table where three attractive single women were complaining about - Surprise! - men. Specifically, they were complaining about the pickup lines that had been used on them in a bar a few nights earlier.

One woman said: "This guy comes up to me and says, 'Are you a teacher?' I mean, is that supposed to be romantic?" All three women rolled all six of their eyes. Another one of them said: "This guy says to me, 'I've been looking at you all night!' So I go, 'Hel-LO, we just GOT here.""

At this point all three women - and I want to stress that these are intelligent, nice women - were laughing. Not me. I was feeling bad for the guys.

I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color. Also, females tend to reach emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.

So I grant that it is not easy being a female. But I contend that nature has given males the heaviest burden of all: the burden of always having to Make the First Move, and thereby risk getting Shot Down.

I don't know WHY males get stuck with this burden, but it's true throughout the animal kingdom.

If you watch the nature shows on the Discovery Channel, you'll note that whatever species they are talking about - birds, crabs, spiders, clams - it is ALWAYS the male who has to take the initiative. It's always the male bird who does the courting dance, making a total slowpoke of himself, while the female bird just stands there, looking aloof, thinking about what she's going to tell her girlfriends. ("And then he hopped around on one foot! Like I'm supposed to be impressed by THAT!".

Male insects have it the worst. The Discovery Channel announcer is always saying things like: "After the mating, the female mantis bites off the male mantis' head, and then she and her girlfriend mantises use it to play a game that looks a lot like Skee Ball."

Because I live in Florida, my patio is basically a giant singles bar for lizards. On any given day during mating season, I'll see dozens of male lizards out there making their most suave lizard move, which consists of inflating and deflating a red pouch under their chins. They seem to think that female lizards really go for a guy with a big chin pouch, but I have never once, in 14 years of close observation, seen a female respond. They just squat there looking bored, while all around them males are blinking on and off like defective warning lights.

Every now and then you'll see an offbeat TV news story about some animal, usually a moose, that has for some reason fallen in love with, and decided to relentlessly court, something totally inappropriate, such as a lawn tractor.

This animal is ALWAYS a male.

On the TV, they show it hanging around the lawn tractor with a big, sad, moony look, totally smitten, while the lawn tractor cruelly ignores it.

My point here is that, in matters of the heart, males have the brains of a walnut. No, wait! That is not my point. My point is that perhaps you women could cut us males a little bit of slack in the move-making process, because we are under a lot of stress.

I vividly remember when I was in 10th grade, and I wanted to call a girl named Patty and ask her to a dance, and before I picked up the phone, I spent maybe 28 hours rehearsing exactly what I was going to say. So when I actually made the call, I was pretty smooth.

"Hello, Dance?" I said. "This is Patty. Do you want to go to the Dave with me?"

Fortunately Patty grasped the basic thrust of my gist and agreed to go to the dance. This was a good thing, because if she had shot me down, I would have been so humiliated that I would have never have been able to go back to school.

I would have dropped out of 10th grade and lied about my age and joined the U.S. armed forces, and as a direct result the Russians would have won the Cold War.

That is the awesome power that you women have over us men. I hope you understand this, and the next time a guy walks up and uses some incredibly lame, boneheaded line on you, I hope that, instead of laughing at him, you will remember that he is under the intense pressure of wanting to impress you enough so that you might want to get to know him better and maybe eventually, perhaps within the next 15 minutes, mate with him, thereby enabling the survival of the human race, which believe me is the only thing that we males are truly concerned about.

In conclusion, let me just say to all females everywhere, on behalf of all males everywhere, that you are very beautiful and your eyes are like two shining stars, unless you're a female fly, in which case your eyes are more like 2,038 shining stars.

So please give us a chance. And if you're not interested, could you introduce us to your lawn tractor? ______________

Pls, can anyone help me with some (technical) answers to these;
Firstly, y cant I access this site www.jobonli.net using starcomms connection? I can when im in a cyber café. Do some isp’s, eg starcomms, block some sites? Why?
Secondly, y is it that with some isp’s, u can open/check 2 or more yahoo mails, simultaneously, on the same computer , but cant with some other isp’s? it works in some cafes but doesn’t in some other cafes.
anyone?

I am also a supporter of bringing up children without flogging. it can be done. its not impossible. it may not be easy but, just like any other important thing in your life, it needs dedication, commitment, quality time, careful thinking and self-discipline, in doing it right. (and who says your children are not important in your life). Do a lot of talking, teaching and explanation with them. Its important to be friends with them, and have fun with them. And bet u they wouldnt want to wrong u. even if they do one day, take time to point out their wrong to them, and don’t just resort to flogging and insultive words on the slightest provocation. flogging is a weak, lazy, and less-intellectual approach. Im not saying we expect the children to reason as adults, but step down to their level and explain things to them, after reprimanding them, be it teenager or under-teenager. also take your time to understand each kid individually. Each child could have a different temperament, some learn fast, some learn slow, be patient with those that learn slow and persist, they will learn. Some could be hurt bad by abusive words, some could be hurt bad by being embarrassed in public, whatever they may be sensitive to, try not to always hurt their feelings deliberately. Always commend and praise them when they do good, u may not always reward it, but show u r pleased. Always show them u have trust in them and their abilities, and u’ll b surprised, they wouldn’t want to let u down. Never show favouritism. Never accuse them falsely ofn commiting something , or causing an accident, without knowing the truth ,even as adults we know that hurtrs, instead encourage them to be truthful , and noty to lie to u out of fear. Now(here’s the twist),sometimes, things can start really, rreally out of hand. When they do, u may have to flog. If u have to use flogging,(which ,first and foremost, u have to admit to yourself, it’s a failure on your part as a parent, which led to that, before blaming the poor kid),use it with love , not excessively, not to injure them, and not often, or u’ll end up being feared and not loved which is not healthy for the kids.both love and fear is needed, but in the correct proportion. The main aim of flogging is to show u strongly disapprove of their wrong,(and don’t forget, u must follow up with lots of non-aggressive talk and dialogue later),and not to show that u’re powerful, and u have the power to folg them anyday, anytime, ahyhow u want. Y’re not competing for power with them,don’t reduce yourself to that. I know many parents use or used flogging out of ignorance, they didn’t know or believe better methods, either way its time for a change. My message is still SAY NO to flogging. If u start right from the beginning, u have no reason to flog.

I have also experienced some of these things while growing up. And I was just a real cool and quiet kid then. Imagine! Not stubborn, not troublesome . I think that’s whats responsible for the lack of friendship between me and my parents now, and I also have a bit of a problem relating/talking to other elderly people outside. Anyway ,I love my parents, they love me, and I appreciate all the support theyre givin me. Sometimes , looking back on all that and other things, it really gets me angry, but im learning to forget all that. The lesson has been learnt, and I guess they too are learnin ‘cos they’re no longer doing same to my younger siblings.(so I was the “sacrificial lamb”, ha!, ha!!, ha!!)but I think the no friendship thing has grown and come to be like that. Im not interested in any friendship with them. Sometimes they do make some moves, but, it just doesn’t feel s natural, u know. thingz wont just suddenly change like that, after 26 yrs. Maybe it would naturally grow amd thingz would change in future, whatever. ThankGod its not a sin not to be friends with your parents. I’ve learnt and I wont let it happen in my family when I marry n have kids.





Now, my question. So much for the home, what about the floggings and corporal punishments going on in our schools? Primary and secondary schools. Im sure almost every Nigerian , who has passed through primary and/or secondary education in Nigeria, had an experience. Do u encourage or discourage it? Is d school a different scenario all together? Or does the same non-violence apply here? cos it does happens in most of our schools. Teachers, staff, prefects all flog. What reason do they have? (pls, any teacher in the house?) some say they cant just transform a child, wwho wasn’t brought up properly from home(blamin parents now). But is flogging the solution? What of other forms of punishment such as digging pits, cutting grass, sweepin, etc,not effective? Though some schools employ people to take care of all that. So , I don’t know, whatchuthink?
Also, how important do we take our parent-teacher relationships (in our kids schools), here in Nigeria? I think taking it seriously is a step in the positive direction.

"yeah baby!",oops, sorry, that was austin powers speakin

tanx 4 d info dominobaby. 2 a week!? i guess that means i have to step it down alittle,
hope there was no health implicationz in munchin too much

tanx jess,u're a darling.

good job akintos,keep it up.

pac is the greatest rapper of all times.pac made more impact than biggie.
but pls,lets just enjoy both they're music n not get into the "beef thing".its not healthy for the industry.they both made good music.other rappers too like nas,rakim,ice-cube,run dmc,jay-z,krs1,n lots of others too made impact,though 2pac is d greatest,to me.
r.i.p, pac and biggie.

@ bisi
just go n drop ur cv @ their headqtrs or any of their branches any day.they will text/invite u when they want u.or just gatecrash to any of their aptitude test venues.go wit ur cv,copies of credentials,passport,writin materials etc,they(uba)allow it,many pple wrote by gatecrashin here in lagos.though i heard dat they r through wit aptitude tests for dis year,it may be a rumour,so keep tryin.
n.b;this applies to some other banks too,not just uba.

pls,nutritionists in d house,help me out here.is it true dat eating more than 1 egg a day is a waste?i once heard someone sayin something like,the body gets all it needs(from eggs)from just one egg a day,any xtra eggs for that day is sort of useless to the body.true?
i like eggs!

tanx mimi83.
has d "submit your cv" link opened for anyone?i kept tryin but it didnt open.

from what i heard,d test is an on-going process,so as long as u have an i.d number(which was given after your on-line application),u'll b invited,soon.so lets just wait n b hopeful.dont stress.

its hard to pick.d chief,d wives,d kids, all of dem,dem too funny!dat show is d most hilarious local comedy comedy runnin on local airwaves now,+,big thumbsup to amaka igwe.

i came across this,

http://travel.state.gov/travel/tips/brochures/brochures_2113.html

naija!!!

why us?for how long(will dis continue)?

i like chris rock.he's d bomb!

i prefer tlc,i'll pic tlc.destinies child was more succesful financialy,but tlc was better n more matured in terms of lyrics n beats(my opinion).

cool fm is da best!da bomb!

i like indomie commercials.d one of the grandma visiting d family,and d other one of pltes of indomie on a rotating dinnin table.i think they're all cool n funny.
i find fault in one of mtn's advert on caller tunes,or should i say,too much of a coincidence happened there.a couple was trying to encourage their baby to walk,using all sorts of toys,but couldnt.so d dad had an idea,called someone with his phone nd allowed d caller tune to play/ring aloud.dis motivated d baby to walk to d phone.but y is it that,till d baby reached and picked d phone,b4 d other person answered d call n said hello?y must it b at the exact time d baby touched d fone b4 he answered(n dat makes it even appear as if it was d baby dat answered a call,which is even more technically wrong,since its a callertune)or am i being too strict?

coco29,ure all over d place,do u spend ur 24hrs on nairaland?abi make u just begin administer d site. or,b nairaland romance counsilor, keep up ur good work.