₦airaland Forum

nice pic you have there on your profile

you are right,,,,premiership is the real deal

by d way i am a UTD fan

do you fink Chelsea is going to win anything dis season?

maybe lol

hell yes

can't fig dat pic out

where is ma money :d :d

^^^waiter

Finally, one of our good sisters was walking home from the
> local market
> late one night, when a tall, strong man leapt out of some
> nearby bushes,
> dragged her to the ground and raped her.
>
> "Ha!" he said. "What will you tell your Mother Superior
> now?"
>
> "I cannot lie to Mother Superior," the nun said. "I will
> tell her that
> while I was walking home a vicious brute dragged me to the
> ground and
> raped me twice. Unless you're too tired?"

greedy pple

wen you srt looking and acting desperate and she srt laughing at you

dani1luv:
Lyke say if dem give u the money; you go spend am 4 eagles chickens

i don change ma mind now cus dey won d game yesterday

nooooooooooo

1. Almost everyone arrives at the party late - hence the reference, "African time".
2. You were given one invitation card, but you invite 20 other friends.
3. You call the attention of the people serving food by saying "please we haven't eaten in this area o!"
4. Even when it was obvious that no alcohol was served, you still ask "don't you have any alcohol?
5. At a kids party scheduled to start at 5pm and finishing at 12am, you arrive with kids (some of them already sleeping) at 11pm.
6. You go back to ask for more food and drinks.
7. You dance to "Obesere" or "Fela" music as if your life depended on it.
8. You go to the dance floor and start "spraying" dollar notes.
9. You hear people talking, as if they are in a fight, about sports and politics.
10. Towards the end of the party you see people going into the kitchen helping themselves to "take away" food and drinks.
11. You ask the DJ to play a specially recorded cassette tape you brought with you.
12. You ask the caretaker of the hired hall to extend the party time by bribing him with money and drinks.
13. Most of the guys are frowning and cussing because fufu, semo, gira or eba wasn't served.
14. More than two bouncers are at the door that leads to where the foods/drinks are kept.
15. The men are sitting in groups, instead of sitting with their women.
16. You hear, "Wetin dem dey wait for sef? I beg make dem bring the food make I comot jo!"
17. On the dance floor, you have women dancing alone or with women and men dancing alone or with men.
18. Most of the guys are hanging around outside, attending to "business" with cellular phones.
19. The hall empties immediately after food has been served.

hahaha :d :d :d

don't knw the meaning but if you want to call him/her u can jus shorten d name like dis ORHHHHH

A guy goes to visit his doctor. Here is the conversation that ensued.

"Don't laugh!" said the patient.

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," the patient said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of an AAA battery,

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, and then fell laughing to the floor, Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now , what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," the patient replied.

The doctor fainted!

great job

I put £50 on Eagles

dats YAHOOOO UNLIMITED

Na so one day. one civil servant an yin wife con wan travel,

so the man con travel b/4 de wife as in con richi di place in. wan send in wife message sa in don richi there an in don dey for one hotel.

so di man con send message, in no no say in make mistake send to another person so the message enter one woman phone when di woman just dey com from where then go beri in husband, as di woman enter house dey cry,

she con go check her phone say people go don dey send message, the first message when she read di wowan fent.as di son con go check in mother he see say di mother don fol for ground an de phone don fol, na so in con carry di phone con see the message.

"hello! honey, l got there saftly and l was greatly welcom, the jorney was so wonderful. I miss u overthere, l am expecting you to come and join me tomorow".

hmmm

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different
colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at him,

The teenager would look and find him staring every time,
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.

And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response:

"Got drunk once and slept with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son, "

Ebywizzy:
@poster take this assignment-find the meaning of MARUWA

ok
be right back

The cost of Yar’Adua’s stay in Saudi

Apart from the medical bill, Nigeria is losing enormously with Yar’Adua’s continued stay in Saudi Arabia. For one, it was gathered that there are retinue of security personnel and other protocol officers, who are collecting out-station allowance.
Beside personnel, the presidential jet, which has been parked in Saudi is incurring huge bill. According to investigation, airports collect landing and parking fees from airlines that fly within and from outside their countries.

For the international flights, payments are made in United States dollars, while the domestic airlines can either pay in dollars or local currency. It was learnt that the charges are in two broad categories; day and night. The night charges are higher than daylight charges because more facilities are deployed for night operations. For day landing, the calculation is in kilograms and done in a simple arithmetic way. For day landing, FAAN charges $0.00909 per kilogram and that is multiplied by the Maximum Takeoff Weight (MTOW) of any airplane. For night landing, it is $0.01364 multiplied by the MTOW and most international airlines come and depart Nigeria in the night.

However, MTOW defers from airplane to airplane as it is determined by the manufacturer of the aircraft. Wide body aircraft automatically has higher MTOW than smaller airplanes. In other words, the type of airplane determines how much the airport authority makes from a particular airline’s airplane.

Investigation revealed MTOW for B747-400, which British Airways, for example, flies into Lagos daily with is 396,890 kg. In other words, BA pays $0.00909x396,890kg, which is $3, 607 or N541,159 per landing. For B777-300, which Delta Air, Air France and Emirates operate, the MTOW is 247, 210 kg and as such for each landing, it pays $2, 247 or N337, 070.

Virgin Atlantic’s Airbus A34-600 has a MTOW of 276, 500 kg and translates to $2, 513 or N377, 007
However, for parking, it is calculated as $0.00114 multiplied by the MTOW and also multiplied by the numbers of hours spent on ground by the aircraft. Airport authorities, in some countries, as in Nigeria, do not charge for the first three hours and that is why most airlines try not to exceed five hours. For instance, if an airline, like Delta Air, with its B777, stays for five hours on ground, the parking charge will be; $0.00114x247, 210 x 2 hours (since the first three hours is free), which is equals to $563 or N84, 545.

The Presidential aircraft, which is a 70-tonne Boeing business jet, has been parked in Saudi Arabia for the 55 days Yar’Adua has been out of the country. If the plane were to be charged for parking fee, at the Nigerian rate, it would be costing the country an average of $6, 756 or N1, 013, 400 per day. Therefore, in the 55 days that Yar’Adua has been in Saudi, the presidential jet has incurred about $371, 580 or N55, 737, 000.

bawomolo:
he's getting off with little or no jail thanks to a plea deal. lucky dude

In exchange for his plea, prosecutors recommended a sentence in the low end of guidelines, in the neighborhood of six to 24 months with probation, a split sentence or incarceration allowable. The felony charge of carrying a pistol without a license carries a maximum penalty of five years in prison. Arenas also agreed not to possess any firearms and to surrender his passport.

Answer

^^^thanx Ben

clemcykul:
kudos pal

thanx

AUDI          Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
                 All Unnecessary Devices Installed


BUICK         Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer


CHEVROLET     Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
                       Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time


DODGE          Dumb Old Dirty Gas Eater
                    Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere



MAZDA         Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along


OLDSMOBILE       Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late          Every day.
                          Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment


SAAB                Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown


TOYOTA            Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto


VW                   Virtually Worthless


PONTIAC          Poor Old Nigger Thinks Its A Caddilac


LOTUS          Lots of Trouble Usually Serious


JEEP             Just Empty Every Pocket


ACURA         Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead

DAEWOO      Damn Asian Engineering Works Only Occasionally


FERRARI        Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively

HUMMER        Huge Ugly Motherf***, Mostly Eats Resources

Jaguar         Just A Guess U Are Rich

sammytb:
pls wat about keke napep

adeshsam:
what about DAEWOO , ?

hmmm

will be back on dat

simeonval:
u are A SlowPoke , did touch her to know if she was a virgin b4 she lost it. she used that to get u n she finally succeded. so go on wit her

hmmmm hold on let me ask my sister

nike4luv:
let the meeting up begin!!!

ok, so when am i gonna see u