₦airaland Forum

pansophist:
I've read the advises given by the ladies on this thread, and even though I understand that it's coming from a good place, it's just a case of treating malaria with typhoid medicine. Of course, the patience will be in a state of a placebo, that is, thinking because he drank some medicine and will be fine, but it takes a doctor to know that the dosage is wrong, and won't do shit.

You see, men and women have a different psychological approach to relationship. Men approach and hunt, while women respond and are the hunted. None of these women is telling you that you should not have ignored your own growth, that you should have been growing your finances, or tell you anything about the principles of the masculine frame, about your weakness and the attitudes you displayed, and that women do not respond positively to it. Also that you should not have made her your goal and so many more. Read all the post on this thread again, it is the men telling you these, not women.

What does that tells you? It simply means that in the matters of women, do not accept advice from women. There are few female relationship coaches on YouTube that really understood the male perspective in relationship dynamics, search for Rebecca Lynn pope for example, and you'll get the real truth and not this placebo effects the women on this thread are dishing out. Women only need to show up and a man will save them from their tragedy, so most never care to understand the male perspective. Remember, a woman is not a man, is not masculine, do not hunt men, so be smart, or you'll be repeating the same mistake over again.

And I'll tell you a secret. Women deep down want their ex or someone they dumped/didn't accepts his proposal not to do better. His tragedy and misfortune is the evidence needed to assure them that they made the right choice in not picking or dumping him. The better he becomes, the irreparable torture that descends on them that they made the wrong choice, especially when their current relationship status is not better compared to him. When you get an uglier girl compared to her, she will be glad secretly, which seal your fate as a looser forever in her mind.

So do yourself a big favour and move on. Be better at your game. The pain and emotional trauma you felt now, should be channelled into becoming a monster of creativity, get better at anything, work on your appearance and just do fcking better. Believe me, the higher you soar, the better you'll be, and will attract more quality women that you will be baffled that you wasted time on her. Women reduce in attractiveness, and the men she is rolling with, are only there to feast on the good time of her youthfulness but descend back into the dark as soon as she is getting old and needs commitment. Time is a man's best friend, not so for women.

I mean, you have skills that generate money right? While she has only her body to generate money? How can you not see that you have an upper hand here? In the matters of love and relationship with women, a man should under no circumstances looses his logic to emotions. Under those lovey-dovey act, there are power structures at play, and your eyes should be sharp on the ball. I've been through your situation years ago, heartbroken to pieces, but then, my dad lectured me hard, and I'm giving you some of the things I've learnt from him. Being a man is not just a word, but a lifestyle.

This sank deep.

Dsticks47:
No sir

If you are setting a 3 months goal it falls under the second category which will be 6%.

Any goal above 6 months gives you 7.5%.

0 – 60 days (1 – 2 months) – 4%
61 – 180 days (2 – 6 months) – 6%.
181 – 365 days (6 – 12 months) – 7.5%
Above 365 days (1 year and above) – 9%

Okay. Are they per annum or per tenure?

bobowaja:
Your own simpness is raised to power infinity in that post. The only woman who deserved your money is ur mother and she should not even feel too entitled about it. You trained another man's daughter in school. I won't curse you cos u re already going through something worst off a curse.

Meanwhile
She left because
1. U lost ur masculinity.
2. You started behaving like a pussy.
3. You don't desire other girls
4. She has options.

Not because you cheated....

As for the message she saw on ur phone.
She is looking for way out after she has weighed her options. She needs to find one. That is why she went digging for a dirt that will likely nail you. She finds one and decided to hold on to it no matter your explanations cos she has already decided to leave before she went digging. She left not cos u cheated, she left because she has found a new sexual market value for herself and u dont fit in to that frame (sexual market u foolishly built from scratch for her). After all, she has nothing to lose cos u re still rewarding her bad attitudes by keeping the funding from you open. There is a reason for reward and punishment in psychology. What you did was reinforcing the bad attitudes u re trying to kill. Things dont work that way in real life. You failed!

You failed all tests bro.


There was this girl I was seeing till late last year. She was still with her parents. But she decided to bill me to setup a business for her. I told her straight up that she is not my responsibility. There is a reason they call it self development not boyfriend development.

Bros, I will just advise you to get more friends both male and females.... Fuvk, read and have fun then start working to get ur life back on track. Or a better way is...... If you are really feeling the betrayer and anger, channel that energy to build something better that will develop ur life. If she meets you a better man again, her hypergamous nature will make her regrets her choices and I can guaranteed you that by then, you will no longer see her attractive.

Meanwhile, Mr Greatresearcher1 kindly come and add this man to ur nairaland diary of SIMPs Hall of Shame.

There is nothing you wrote here that wasn't true. Then I was thinking it's called being nice. Now I know nice is the new dumb. I was just being stupid to build up someone from the dust, and not building myself.

Dsticks47:
Good afternoon sir.

Before you invest you need to save.
Why not install Our Ziing mobile app setup a Zplan Goal and build that 100K to maybe 300K or more depending on you.

The Zplan also Reward you for saving.

Unlocked goals.
0 – 60 days (1 – 2 months) – 4%
61 – 180 days (2 – 6 months) – 6%.
181 – 365 days (6 – 12 months) – 7.5%
Above 365 days (1 year and above) – 9%

Locked Goals.
0 – 60 days (1 – 2 months) – 4.5%
61 – 180 days (2 – 6 months) – 6.5%.
181 – 365 days (6 – 12 months) – 8%
Above 365 days (1 year and above) – 10%

Start small now and grow your wealth over time.

I hope it’s not coming late.

And lastly Avoid Anything “ with high ROI.”

I'll check that out too.
But I don't understand the tenures.

Does it mean 1month and 3months gets the same 4%

JIMMY1393:
Anytime anyone concludes their write up like this just makes me think every shit I just read was a lie to get on fp

Yeah. That's what someone said here too. Now the question is what am I doing with front page? The answer is to get people to comment and talk me off my depression.

If you know my real account, you would know front page is not gold to me.

OgogoroFreak:
learn to make little profit at a go, with time you would be known and sales would be much easier if you are consistent.


If that business above seems daunting, you can start a bicycle rental business in your street. With aggressive saving, you can add video gaming center too.

Okay. Thanks

globalmart:
I understand your case clearly..I have been depressed before but that's not on relationship bases.... just always bear it in mind that what will be will be...And life challenges are just a normal process every man must go through to enhance..

Yeah. I'm very grateful to God that it didn't kill me. I know I'd be alright.

OgogoroFreak:
Here on technology section of nairaland, you can start by buying phone or laptop from offerup or from legit deal hunters (https://www.nairaland.com/5032880/all-offerup-letgo-craigslist-5miles) and sell here on nairaland and jiji. You can easily make 20k profit within a week. And that profit will grow as your funds grow.

If you want to deal on laptops, I suggest you buy from legit sellers here like innobarca and hotdealz. They have really cheap laptops you can easily resell for profit.

If you do this with dedication and focus, your money can easily grow to 300k by December.

My only problem with such business is in the selling. I think I'll give it another shot.

GLYCOLYSISS:
Damnit !
These is just one of millions of experiences men witnesses when dealing with women on a daily basis.
I just had to go throw that post of yours ,read it over and over and over again.
Heart broken you had to go through those.

First,your idea of love in that relationship was typical of that of an average man out there; idealistic love.
Kinda, expecting a woman to reciprocate that emotions, sacrifices and idealistic loyalty you're willing to offer her.
These article below blew open the raw ,bitter truth about love in intergender relationships.

https://illimitablemen.com/2015/06/01/the-hierarchy-of-love/

Yea,it sounds scary,but then,the truth don't give a f*ck about our emotions.

The moment you decided to cohabit with her, did away with other girls that probably fancy you,was the moment she started questioning your masculinity and FRAME.

To test your masculinity further,she started establishing rules and withholding sex from you,since your finally gave her that power to weaponise sex.
That's was not even the issue here,the issue here was that you're cool with that and continued to invest in her.
Did you know the message you sent to her ?
You can do anything to fulfill her reality,even if it means sacrificing your own needs.
You officially entered HER FRAME with those decisions you made earlier on,primary reason she got bolder and more dominant in the relationship,and treated you like the doormat your personality portrayed.
Even the most feminine woman will become masculine when your start acting like a p*ssy.
And you know what ?
Her disgust for you grew the more those moments you decided to apology and "do the right thing" so that peace will be established once more.

Women are smart,she wants you to feel guilty for while she left .
She wants to absolved herself from the backlash she may get from you and friends when they get to hear she left the relationship.
You must be cunning yourself to beat women to their game.
Please,stop feeling guilty for why she left.
Like,the purpose she left you for other guys.
It's everything but certainly not because you were getting intimate with other girls.

And lastly, understand these now,women are not build to appreciate the sacrifices you make to facilitate her reality.
They assume and are conditioned to expect those from you, therefore no point appreciating you for your responsibility,so they thought.
Going forward,please stop making such sacrifices for women and most importantly,learn how women are build at the core, it's going to solve your problems when dealing with them.
Your focus right now should be on building your value,not wallowing in regrets.
You made the mistake of building her,while neglecting the most important person; YOU,and she finally left you for men that where busy building there value,and won't make a half of the sacrifices you made for her.
That's the game.

Like I said somewhere before. I thought I was being nice and I thought it was okay to be that nice. But I've learnt in the most bitter of ways.
I only realized the foolishness in my actions when it was all over.
It breaks my heart the more when I think of where I would have been if I abandoned her when things got rosy for me.

globalmart:
Well....time heals all wound..and your healing is in your hands..If you decide to move on you will..just find something that will keep u away from thinking .and whenever the thoughts come read ur Bible,watch movie, sleep...is better than having sex cos sex with women will keep reminding you of her..
Just know you can't turn back the hands of the clock..

I know she's gone. It still hurts but I'm better now. The thing is that when deep depression hits, nothing makes you happy. Nothing at all, except the restoration or a perfect reversal of the cause.
It's a miracle I survived those 15 horrible months.

SawD007:
You're not in tune with reality. Embrace the pain brother. That's the reality. Acknowledge she is gone and feel the pain as my h as you can. Then if you love close to where there is a beach or lake. Just go there and scream your pains out. That girl comes to your life to teach you a lesson which is WATCH OUT FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR HAPPINESS NOT IN DETRIMENT TO OTHERS BUT CHOOSE YOU

Yeah. I did a lot of stuffs like that to lose steam and escape suicide. I also took long walks that helped me a lot, as I almost went mad.

pansophist:
You broke so many relationship rules, that it was inevitable for her to go.

1. Want, not need a woman. A man should be on his goal, mission, pursuing his purpose, career, or whatever seriously. A woman should complement and not be the sole purpose of your existence.

2. You think she was the "prize, while clearly, you were. I mean, you furnished her to a high standard, the pillar of her subsistence, the cornerstone of her metamorphosis, so how on earth can you be the one being dumped, instead of doing the dumping? You're basically persuading a burden and felt depressed because the burden wanna leave? Tufiakwa.

3. You sacrificed your own growth to pursue her, that was disastrous. This is related to number one. Seems your goal is her, to have the brightest, refined chick while ignoring your own self. The rule is that you have to keep becoming the best version of yourself.

Ever heard of hypergamy? Women do not date below dominance hierarchy, but above. The day your woman becomes better than you in anyways, the countdown to her departure as just begun. It may not be instant, but surely in the distant future.

4. Women by nature loose attractions for men that exhibit weakness. Begging her, being walked upon, and still sponsoring her while she ride with other ich men pronounced you as an epitome of a looser. How can she respect you when you do that? Any relationship you beg to keep, you will beg to sustain, which messes up the power dynamic and puts you at a disadvantage. And if she agrees to stay, you'll forever be disrespect.

I'll tell you a secret that has worked for me. NEVER APPEAL TO THE MORAL SENSE OF A WOMAN, OR YOUR SUPPOSED OPPRESSOR. Never has the oppressed gain his freedom by appealing to the moral sense of their oppressor. It never works. Negotiate from a position of strength, not weakness.

5. She has left since the first time she started behaving, you only got the announcement later. She had sex with you once in four months? Well, that's all you need to know that she was keeping you for your money. Woman are as Hot as men, some even argue that are hornier. A girl that loves you will fck you every day as much as you want it.

I blame you not, we live in a sad time as men. A time where fathers are not lecturing their sons and having a strong bond with them, to coexist well with women, understand them, and not be at a losing point. You've paid your price to knowledge, let it go, and become better.

I thought I was being nice, as I met her when she was nothing and she looked up to me for everything as a boyfriend and a brother.
It's just a pity we can't just love purely. I just realized that

OgogoroFreak:
With mere 100k, I'm afraid you have to roll up your sleeves and actually hustle with that money to grow it faster.

Do you have a business to suggest? I don't really know a good business to start with that

emmasoft:
@RavagedHeart thank God you are waking up according to you.
The first thing is to determine your investment objective ie what you intend to achieve because investment is a means to an end. The reason for investment should not just be because others are investing. You will also do well to gather some investment knowledge that in itself is a form of investment.
With the capital you have, mutual funds will be good and stocks better if you can take risk; gradually you will build wealth if consistent
N.B: The bolded is a relative term when considering forms of investment in relation to risk.

I will read what I can find concerning your suggestion.

Grupo:
What do you mean by the bolded? You used to give all your money to women?

Not just my money, but also my whole self and every other thing that is of value.

I shared my story some time ago, after I came over of my suicide thoughts:
https://www.nairaland.com/6066737/how-escape-ravaging-after-blast-effect

Tvegas:
I am glad Leezah confirmed that the storm will be over. Many investors lose sight of the fact that it's during storms that wealth are transferred and wise investors make tons of money.
@OP do any of the following
1. Buy Wapco shares below N12
2. Buy Zenith share below N17
3. Follow the guys on the US stock page they are making a kill with the surplus stimulus fund.
4. Look for a fixed income fund that can give you at least 10% per annum.

On wapco and Zenith, let's compare notes by April 2021.

...hmm. nice contribution. Though I would have appreciated if you compared these options so I can make athe right pick and avoid mistakes

Leezah:
BDC or keep it under your pillow till the storm is over.

Can you say more on this BDC, or a pointer where I can see reviews of how they roll.

emmanuelewumi:
Who have you been simping with? You need to be a rational male.

I've learnt in pains. I thought I was being nice, didn't know I was heading into a suicidal situation.

Any investment advise that I can start up with just 100k ?

In the attempt to wake from my simping slumber, I want to join the league of investors.

Gurus in the house, which investment can I start with 100k with high ROI.

I knew about this red pill thing, but I never practiced it.
I lowered my standards trying to please my fiancee and it ended in a near suicide experience.

In my case. Everything that is said on this thread played out but I was still clinging to maintaining my Mr nice guy tag.

My story:
https://www.nairaland.com/6066737/how-escape-ravaging-after-blast-effect

8lngish:
what job exactly
was it that you were doing again

I already said I won't mention the job to avoid connecting the dots pointing to myself, as the job is not common. I've already given too much pointer, if I mention the job it would give me away to anyone that knows me that is reading this thread.

IMO01:
You were taking care of her forgetting to take care of yourself, that's where d problem began.

Exactly. That's one of my major regrets. When I think of where I would have been if I prioritized my plans, it makes me shade tears.
I made an almost failproof plan on how to invest the money I earned, but I foolishly gave in to her unending needs. Trying to push her to a higher class without raising myself.

Athemisia:
True love my foot.... you better wake up from your fantasy....

There is no true love never!
Stop watching too many love movies!
Stop reading too many love novels!
All of that do not portray reality....

Take a good look at musicians who sing a lot of love songs and check their love life in reality— It's a direct opposite.

I now know this. But disbelieve couldn't heal me of the one I believed.

Ishilove:
Your love has crossed into the threshold of obsession and is dangerous to your mental health. The only way out of this is to start socialising again. Go out and view the world with fresh eyes and you will see that there is so much to live for instead of pining over someone who was just looking for an excuse to leave you. Take yourself to a cinema (I don't know if you can afford it though. Your broke ass is still stuck in limbo). What are your hobbies? Writing? Painting? Coding? Get busy! Na idleness dey worry you, which is why you can't concentrate on anything. Don't be a liability at this your age. It is a disgrace.

Most important of all, take it to Jesus. He is the Balm of Gilead, the healer of wounds. You'll be amazed at what He can do.

I'm not really idle. Just that the whole thing weighs me down and I now either underperform or lose interest in most things I try doing.
More reason I'm now determined to heal or die.
The me I used to know cuts through everything like hot knife, but this present me can hardly do anything anymore. I'm just fed up with the struggle within.

Ishilove:
Jeez, you're still in love with her... and you still miss her.

True love doesn't die quick

She's been with me all the time that I cheated. 2months after I stopped cheating then she broke up with me.
Sometimes I think she left because I stopped cheating on her

proclinician:
Here is the solution.

About a year ago I thought in this direction, but not anymore.

Fidelismaria:


<sup>bloody SIMP

your own mumu is raise to power 100

You no see your brother,sister, cousins, parents spend money on na hoelosho you go spend 85% of your income

Chai

you deserve the heartbreak</sup>

I've made my mistakes. But no one deserves a heartbreak.

The reason for this thread is to gather encouragement to help me heal.

Most times when I sleep. All I hope for is to wake up and realize I've been dreaming for all this time, or never wake at all. I can't just lay hold on the me I used to know, just a shadow of it.

emmysmartt:
if her father can't pay and take care of her need and the sugar daddy around u did her favour and she betray you bro curse for 600years she will not have peace for making you miserable and peaceless I stopped giving girls free money

All I want is to heal and move on. Though I hate the things she did last last, but I don't want to curse anyone. If I wanted to hurt her in anyway, I'd have poisoned her when she comes home to eat my food.

As for giving money to a girl. I've learnt the hard way.

argent412:
and they keep upgrading their simp version.

I have seen many calling me a simp. I may have been a voluntary simp for this particular girl, but I have not been a simp all my life.
Love caught me, everything was perfect and I gave in totally. It could happen to anyone, not only the simp.

harsysky:
Love can make us do stupid things, but that is what it is. I have this belief, and that is if you can't make yourself happy, no one will do that for you. Having to be cut off from someone you love dearly is heartbreaking, but would you rather you lose yourself while your once beloved partner remains happy forever?

you can't eat your cake and have it. Take whatever you had with her before as bygones. If you continue the way you are doing, even that girl and the current ones you meet will see you as a play ground for weaklings.


You are a man and above all things, a man has got to take responsibility for self before others. Inotherwise, if you don't look after yourself, you can't even look after another. depression can only be managed when we pour out those burdens through speech or writing, which you have done. Now is time to heal. Remember, the beautiful ones are not yet born likewise the good ones

Thanks you for your comment, especially for the bolded.
Most people here thought I just made up the story, a even went further to call it fun. I guess they have never been in a difficult situation before.