₦airaland Forum

treese:
Hello you all. I am his wife.but I am indeed glad he came here to pour his heart out. He doesn't like communicating with me that much, once he is upset u dont wanna be around me. You will pity me, he treats me unfair, he removes his ring at will and says he had a bad day and so it his wedding ring that caused it. You can take a look tru my profile. You would see just a little of my complaints. But now i get where the problem is. Funny enough I didn't know he had this topic here already cos I am not much of a nairaland person so if he didn't make front topic I won't have seen it. And it was even God that drew my attention here cos even front topic I don't read that much. Very very glad I did. Now o am not a cheating wife and would never ever till I die cheat. I would rather walk away. You see d gentle man who put this topic down, he doesn't talk much to me. If anything goes wrong with us, I could be talking for 3mins he will just increase the volume of his phone and start playing music. He can agree how any times in a day I ask him why he hates me so much. Cos he acts as such. Let me analyse the instances that made him think am cheating. My EX who was the first man I probably ever loved. Myself and my husband has had plenty issues on exes his exes sef just disappeared completely like a year back. My ex probably called me and we had a very clean and open convo. I tot to myself this is wrong jor. So I told him, my ex called me and he has always bin calling which is true. But very clean convo. He has Like 3kids now and is happily married. The day i told my hubby my ex called me. He was just there like whatever, and I rem telling him that day you never get jealous of me. U should even ask me questions or something. If I keep talking without bin asked questions then something is wrong with me. God knows I felt hurt that he was neutral. And that night my husband decide to have phone intimacy with an old female friend to get back at me. I rem that Sunday Wen I saw it. I cried. I felt hurt d moment he said that's for Kipling in touch with ur ex. And i asked him why he didnt allow us talk about it immediately, sometimes thats all we need just talk to us and show u care, till date i always feel my husvand is t worrird ablut losing me, instead he pays me back. And i dont think it should that way, sometimes communicatikn is all u need and u would just find d truth in d detail. I cang coynt how many incriminatikng stiffs i have fpynd on his phone, me i cant kip quiet for too long i tell him sharp sharp and sometimes it isnt what i think, but if i decide to keep.quiet and pay him back i would only be hurting us more, so back to my ex, Then we went out, we spoke about it and it all got cleared, but I guess it didn't. Secondly he spoke about me removing my ring. Now this is me also.when I find out hubby always removes his ring often and blame it on bad days I join him. Right now none of us Is wearing a rjng; he as removed it again and thrown it away claiming another bad day and I joined in cos I don't undestand that ish again. Now the third case of cheating. He said o saved my ex's number yeah that's true and that becos I didn't want my husband to think otherwise cos I actually think he knows the guys number or have it saved somewhere. This guy is helping my lil brother gt a job with an oil firm. He is only helping.
When my husband saw this I felt so bad so so bad and I wish I had discussed it with him. But I tot he would pay me back painfully again so I decide to keep it away from him. The third blame is me cooking for a guy on the estate. The guy is a friend I met quiet alright. But God sees my heart I cooked it out of helping. His wife is overseas and d guy claimed to be broke, then also there was fuel scarcity he said he couldn't get fuel to buy. So he wanted me to help him with food. That faithful day, my husband's friend who also lives on the estate was home, my nanny and my two kids, so I asked him to give his opinion,and he said why not that the guy is an easy going person on the estate and for him to ask for food he must be In a bad state. We had some left over rice at home and I told hy nanny to go and give him. When my hubby came back that day I Had to find a way to explain to him. I wasnt too sure of his response, but to a certain extent d man i know and the way he has bin treating me I tot he will say no big deal. But I got otherwise instantly I knew I had messed up, but how to fix it became a problem. He has called my dad on this matter. That old man is another man I fear the most after God. Tho I was scared of wat he will do to me. But I was rather glad. Cos I wanted to be free and be trusted again. The matter on ground is something that I know can ruin my home but now that he as spoken I believe and hope he learns to trust me. Now I understand d reason for the mean treatments. He doesn't like visiting marriage counselors, so smtimes we end our matters and issues arguing and no resolution. Am saying it world wide now. I am not cheating on my husband. I love him than anything else in the world. Appreciate him and would always honour him. His changes and behaviour towards me recently sort of got me changing to, but now I see where it's all coming from. God bless u nairaland at least he spoke here. But seriously, dear Nairalander's you can't give concluding opinions on a journey of 3years based on 650 words. U don't av any idea wat we both av bin Tru to just conclude that he divorces a woman u know nothing about based on the short story u heard. I am a woman who would do anything g to keep her home. I took steps that I had no clue I would regret. Now he doesn't trust me no one knows how that feels. Even when I go out for business he picks d lie from d truth and this hasn't bin making me go what I deserve. I hope and pray God fixes this for me.

Treese I am so glad you showed up because some SLOW TO UNDERSTAND BUFFOONS (babdav2015, iykedare, ideykwum) who quoted me earlier might now go and die in peace.

There are always two sides to a story but right from when I read your husbands part, I could tell he was the type who didnt listen and who chooses to find the worst in anythinh, trust me I had that experience first hand from my parents marriage and that was why I begged God that when he was giving me a spouse, he should give me the one that would be a durect opposite from what I saw when growing up.

Gurl, you know your husband, you know how he is, his likes and unlikes, his lack of communicating skills, how he jumps into conclusions and busies himself looking for what isnt there ...the guy is sooo insecure and you are fueling his insecurities!

Pls, stop doing what he doesnt like, he might be difficult but pls dont do what you know will displease him ...some men are just wired that way. I see you are a wiman who.wants to make it work, so please try...it might seem hard but try. Pray and believe in God for strength, wisdom and that he makes your husband come around. Trust me, prayer works!

I have been married a few years myself and its God that holds the union together.

Hang in there.

Lastly since you say your husband doesnt talk, it doesnt mean you should nag him to the death. Summarise your issues in a few quick sentences and leave him to ponder on it, if he likes he should ponder, if not he should pout, na him sabi. Just do your own part and keep off those male friends before devil uses style to enter inside your home well well.

babdav2015:
stop defending ur stupidity.

so you have joined the bandwagon of fools who cannot read now, is it?

Lol, Op she meant she prefers plantain to your banana. Looool.....

This Op funny die!

Abacha's goon!

poseidon12:
@repogirl, so would you go to another man's house to cook for him? A man not related to you; and without your husband's knowledge.

and what gave you this impression, pls explain?

Pls show me where I said I would love to go and cook for someone in his house because I dont understand where you came up with the idea.

Incase you missed it, I condemned the action of the wife but focused on the ops actions because he is the one here asking questions and not his wife.

I dont know why I still bother talking, you people read half, understand nothing and make up the rest.

iykedare:
You are a brainless chicken.

Go read what you wrote. I'm not even the only person to point out the gibberish you wrote.

You are a liability to the guy who put you at home.

Forrk off

you and your no brained cronies will point out what isnt there because one common factor connects you all.

Even if I am a liability, he isnt complaining... slow poke who cant understand english.... maybe u need translator since english doesn't seem like your first language.

Supercilious fool!

Whobedatte:
her comments made me shocked too
Why can't my wife check on my phone and vice versa?
Nothing wey person no go hear for nairaland

pls show me where I said he is barred from my phone? I said he doesnt have the time to do that, does that now translate into me hiding my phone from him?

Na wa o, some people just read half and half!

iykedare:
Shut the fork up. You probably married a mumu man. So your phone is a no go area to your husband?

All these brainless women who are hell bent on getting married when they don't understand what it entails.

you seriously lack the capacity to read and then comprehend, you should go and find your brain from whatever dump it was thrown and then return to read my statement then maybe you might get it.

But incase you still dont get it after finding your brain lemme ask, pls point out where I said my phone is a no go area?

Be like sey dis guy no get work, if e dey seriously work out how to remove Nigeria from d dire situation wey we dey, im no go get time for all this peripheral waka.

Last week im go preach, now na entrepreneural wetin? Im no get rep?! Okay ooo, continue gallivanting around Osinbade!

eagleeye2:
I thought I was the only one who saw that. This guy hates GEJ so much to inflict pain and trauma on innocent people.
.
The irony of this, is that some of those sacked were once blindly chanting Change, Change.

yeah, they got the change they wanted...a change in employment status! Lmao!

HungerBAD:
The law of Karma 101.

All good deeds must be rewarded.

All bad deeds must not go unpunished.

She started this war and she should finish it.

....and some people call me petty..... what is this but the height of pettiness?


Incase you didnt know, johnny1980, your leader is full of a truckload amount of pettiness and it has begun unravelling...you can choose to see it or remain blind to it.

But what skales said wasn't wrong na... as if people had previous beef with him before......

As for Jidenna, its clear to see that he wishes he were white, his dressing and the way he styles his hair like an eigtheenth century fop says it all.

OgaJonah:
Na yemi property

yeah, but we can still admire from far.

Dannyset:
He(Dasuki) was not wrong,
The Permanent Secretary was not wrong,
The President was not wrong. We should just do something about our half baked Journalist out there.

blame the journalists carrying out their duties, why dont you?

As if it was the journalists that told the military to remove the road blocks....or it was the journalists who removed the checkpoints themselves.

Op, you get time listen to their story oooo, I met quite a few years ago back in lagos...anytime they say they are foreigners looking for somewhere, someone or something, I dont even bother to listen anymore....I just walk on.

Alex Ekubo is soooooooo fiiiiine

Hehehe, Tinubu don start work ....

PROPA.....

Baba, you sure sey dis boy don pinish im secuandary school? As in im get waec cerfiticate? Before im go send you go East Germany instead of West Germany!

So Chidinma's belly button makes front page news, hurray for her.

One naira to one dollar nko?

Stabilise global oil prices nko?

Hit.the ground running nko?

All inclusive government nko?

I have made it ten points...I fit still add more but sleep still dey my eye.

Ehya, God definitely answers prayers if only man would have faith.....happy for them.

How e no go worsen before?

You sure sey no be dem attack nairaland dat time?

johnny1980:
You are making the same mistakes again dear. Your excuse for not wanting the prosecution of Lamido is lame. So because other governors who you presumed corrupt, (they are still innocent until proven guilty by a court of law, same with Lamido) and have not yet had their day in court
So we should allow him walk away? What difference does your education make if you reason this way?

Maybe Wike should forward memo to Efcc on Ameachi's corruption and if it is swept under the carpet we can start shouting bias.

You are being ruled by error of judgement due to past prejudices. I know you dislike Buhari, but the hate for someone should not hinder you from speaking the truth lest you aren't different from an hypocrite. Isn't Lamido's investigation an ongoing one instituted even before Buhari announced his run for office?

Would it be logical to you if Buhari had intervened in a clearly judicial process that predates him and set Lamido free?

Educated people follow logical conclusions and facts and are not moved by the whims and caprices of their emotions and sentiments.

How many appointees has he made? You should cry foul when his ministerial list is out and 90% are northerners.


In addition, if your environment should negatively affect you then I am disappointed in you. We have people who grew out of slums and went on to become very great people notwithstanding their backgrounds. They could have given the same excuse you are giving now and resorted to crime and other social vices being perpetrated in their various localities. Sounds cool init?

Dont twist my words, read back nad see that I never said he should be let off the hook, I said they should not pick from here and there if they are serious. Most of our politicians are guilty of looting and should be investigated accordingly, not just a few who have stepped on the toes of powerful people.

When I said I was a product of my sourroundings, I meant I have seen bigotry and tribalism first hand. Since independence until now, all I have seen is unfairness to minority tribes, one Nigeria is obviously a scam. If one Nigeria was for real, we wouldnt have muslims in the north fighting and killing christians at any little provocation, we wouldnt have insurgency, we wouldnt have militants resorting to kidnapping foreigners just to get the governments attention, we wouldn't have abject poverty in the south with no iota of development in that area for over thirty plus years after independence. We wouldn't have a President who jumps in and cancels an amnesty deal and negotiations meant to pacify aggrieved southerners without any clear cut alternative but is open to negotiations with mass murderers. Even on the issue of fuel subsidy, eastern states have always paid above the so called subsidised amount, tell me are they not Nigerians?

Until a few years back, the south south couldnt boast of a single city, except for maybe Portharcourt which still wasn't halfway up to Lagos and other Cities in the North and you say I am a bigot, do you blame me?

Anyway I am done with this topic but until your President proves he is the real deal, I will go on expressing my views and anybody against it should please make their way to the third mainland bridge and jump for all I care.

As for his ministerial appointments, I am eagerly waiting, I have even begun putting together my verbal arsenal of weapons because I know he wont fail to disappoint.... lets just wait and see.

johnny1980:
I can't choke on it...

I can assure you on that.

But seriously you are a fine writer but recently your bigotry and pettiness stinks to the high heavens. Get a grip. Educated people learn to overcome such shortcomings. You can do better.

I am a product of my surroundings, if I am tribal, bigoted and all others, dont you think it was influenced by experience?

If I am a bigot, then our dear President and his 'brothers' who he keeps appointing daily are what?

This witch hunt of Lamido and his sons because he openly criticized our dear president before elections is soooooo lame and only those who choose to be blind will think otherwise.

Lamido stole yes, but he is no different than many other governors, former governors, current Senate President and many others who did the same. So if they truly want to purge the system, they should clean it up well and not pick a few here and their because of grudges they have against them. Thats my point.

johnny1980:
You just confirmed my assertion again. It's not about how big it is. It's about the depth of use.

No wonder you think that big santana head of yours equates to any atom of sense.

Run along now and enter the kitchen, i need my food now.

So you have confidently asserted that the depth of use of your brain is really shallow, interesting. Lol! As for your meal, it's on its way, hope you dont choke on it ?

This is what happens when they born pikin troway!

johnny1980:
quite wrong. Mine would not fit into yours because your obrain is still filled to capacity no thanks to lack of use.

you would know so much about lack of use of that teenie tiny brain of yours, wouldn't you?