₦airaland Forum

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You bleeping freaked me out! HAHAHAHAHA.

Ew.

hahahahaha.

Ashiwaju:
Seun, You and your death measures, i just hope you don't stone someone before you know it.

Its morally wrong to sleep with yah in-law but aside that their is nothing bad in it. Moi for one would not do it but that is my own opinion.

I see you're not a friend of sarcasm.

The picture looks fake though.

Ashiwaju:
true life! A father has 4 children, a boy and 3 girls, He Dis V all the Girls and he had several count after that till they got married and they still refuse to turn him in. Last week they have all confessed and funny enough the man is supposed to be a religious icon and he is respected as one. He said it was the work of the devil. Then i wonder how many teenagers would have had this sad experience and yet refuse to turn who ever is involved.

It happens a lot in Europe. Priests rape young children who refuse to talk because they're scared. It's sad.

I'lld do almost anything for my boyfriend. Without him, I'm miserable. I'm soooo in love. Being in love is a good thing, when the feeling is mutual.

Ashiwaju:
Even at the expense of loosing your profile and the image of your family?

Absolutely. If my family fails to see why I'm turning him in, then they aren't being reasonable. The guy raped 'me' (I'm going to say me instead of you), he doesn't deserve to be free. If he should rape someone else, I'll blame myself.

Definately. He's a rapist.

my2cents:
retro,

There was a time when hip hop/rap sounded like the music it was supposed to be. Somewhere along the line though, something happened (what exactly, I can't say) and it all went downhill from there

50 cent actually made things worse.

Hip hop and rap doesn't make sense to me.

If he isn't going to do anything about that awful smell then no. Sorry, I can't, I won't. It's offensive. It might actually lead to a divorce if we should actually get married.

Anigboinam:
Re: Why Do Girls Have To Cook?
« #120 on: Today at 05:06:52 AM »

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hmnn, what I wrote is that your experience is no more important than theirs. You are a man, but you are not THEIR man. We all have our different experiences and no one person's experience is more important than the other. If the women who say that cooking should not define her as a woman say so because they live or have lived with men this way and cooking has never been a defining aspect of their relationship, why should their view not hold water? They are speaking for themselves and, in a sense, THEIR men. *****************************************************

>>>That doesn't make sense.

>>>My point most men would like a women who cooks. I'm speaking as a man.

>>>They are speaking as woman. There isn't a post in this thread where a woman has offered their Man's opinion. So this ambiguous assertion that I'm not accepting other experiences is a phantom argument, based on nothing.

It is perplexing that if a man states his preference, HE is "DEFINING" a woman. However if women has a list of preferences that is her right.

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You might want to also include the fact that these people come from similar geographic regions and cultural background. Logically, their responses would be similar.**************************************************************


>>> What do you suggest? Maybe svc who posts on Nairaland to marry a hippy from Amsterdam in order for cooking to be optional? So opinions of Niaraland aren't valid? It seems you want to be ducking from the prevailing point of view with this commentary.because your theory lacks substance.




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I have already addressed this generalization. ******************************************************

>>>No you dodged it with a ridiculous point and didn't offer an alternative.




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hmnn, we can already assume what majority ON NAIRALAND would say. But how is that accurate? What percentage does those on Nairaland represent? How substantial is this to who svs is LIKELY to get married to, if she decided to get married? we would again consider their background etc****************************************************

>>> You said. "You might want to also include the fact that these people come from similar geographic regions and cultural background. Logically, their responses would be similar."

>>>You have zig zagged yourself out of a point. You already conceded majority of people on Nairaland will side with my opinion but now you cast doubt Culture has an important influence in shading ones attitudes and opinions.

>>>SVS is on Narialand probabilty quite high she's Nigerian of Nigerian heritage. If she plans on marrying within her culture, wouldn't it be wise to know what the prevailing themes are?

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From my understanding, she's not complaining because it's difficult. She's complaining because she doesn't LIKE it. Something doesn't have to be hard for you to dislike it.**********************************************

>>>I don't like doing alot of things but I do it because it must be done. Similar with cooking, someone must do it.

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Also because she doesn't want cooking to define who she is.****************************************

>>> Can you quote her saying that? or yourself?

>>>I remember reading the book, "when things fall apart.", by Chinua Achebe. ( Very appropriate title with this line of thinking. )
While having a discussion about the book, a white young lady with long hair and tongue pierced told me how wrong my culture was for subjecting women to 2nd class citizenship. Asked me why aren't the men cooking and raising the children and women hunting. I looked at her and asked her why can't she appreciate and learn about another culture, Why must she always look at the world through a feministic lens? I think your projecting your own agenda on SVC. I wish her mother tells her the importance of cooking in a Nigerian household. How plaintain, rice with stew, foofoo and egusi soup are relished and the women who prepare loved. If you want to promote this western laisez faire role of nobody has a role , thats your choice. However since this is a cultural based forum, I will promote the culture.

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LOL, my brother, this your arguement dey one kind sha. We are now bordering on slippery slope type fallasies. I see no connection whatsoever with what you're yarning. How does seeing cooking as optional mean that your husband should look for more wives to marry? Now if we're saying SVS should start cheating on her husband (when or if she gets one) or start having mad passionate love affairs outside of her marriage then I can understand the analogy. I think women should work with their husband to bring in the money. He should not be the only one responsible for providing financially for the family.************************************************************************************

>>>You didn't understand the analogy that is all. Male and females have roles within the family unit that have withstood the test of time in Nigeria. Some roles are not optional. It not optional for me to not to work. Its not optional for me to have more than one wife or sherk my duties as a male. See the connection(?) probably not.

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What does this have to do with cooking? I have said it in the past and will say it again. Like religion and many other things, we make marriage a DO or DIE affair, unlike the west. The west did not have a 50% divorce rate when it was taboo to get a divorce and when society frowned on it. Unless you can prove that women choosing not to cook is the root of 50% divorce, I don't see what this has to do with the discussion. **********************************

>>>Isn't this convenient? Unlike the west? WE? who is we? You are the same person who doesn't recognize or readily dismisses cooking by women as a primary task in the Nigerian culture. Now states we (Nigerians) take marriage as a do or die affair. You understand culture in this instance but not in respects to cooking??

>>>Let me remind you there is a courting stage before marriage. Where men and women make an informed judgement based on what the males and females can bring to the relationship. So a woman who can't cook might not even get to the stage of marriage.

>>>You zig and zag but you can not escape reality. There are many things that hold a marriage together. Males and females living up to their roles helps maintain a relationship. Most studies site financial instability as one of the main reasons for divorce. More than likely a male not providing an adequate source of income. You cannot sit here and tell me that long lasting relationships occur when a woman is not living up to her role in the household. Its like you point to doubt but you can't even give credible instances that support your points.


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hmnn, my brother, I must challenge you to post where I wrote this. I never wrote such a thing as "ALL MEN LIKE WOMEN WHO DON'T COOK." What I wrote is that all men DO NOT define women by whether or not they can or cannot cook. This is a lie and a generalization and experiences tell me differently. *********************************************

>>>"Woman Defined by cooking" , Who said this other than you? Am a defined by being the bread winner, doing hard labor? This feminsitic mutated version of what svc said is your problem. It clouds any reasonable discussion with you.
You like using that phrase as if it can disputes what most men and some women are saying in this thread. Men like women who cooks. Simple. They look for that quality because they feel it brings stability in a family.

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I think you're missing the point. Now, i think everyone should try to learn any skill that will give them more independence and make them more self-sufficient, like I stated earlier. *************************************************

>>>Agree about learning the skill for independence but you miss the cultural implications and the necessity of woman's role in a family, marriage, household via cooking, which is an interdependent relationship.

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But why would anyone see not cooking as having a curse on your family? Giving a onesided view and trying to discredit others is NOT proper information. Again, no one person's experience is more or less significant than the other. *************

>>>Its his opinion as a man that not having a women cook is a bad sign. Maybe you don't like the way he phrased it but I tend to also think that way. I think giving a truthful opinion is better than giving a theory based on rare possibilities of a man thinking otherwise. Where is the data suggesting this? , i.e Men saying I don't really care if a woman cooks:
1. You could have easily given this from your own experience which you didn't
2. You could have actually quoted a female stating their "MANS" opinion, which I haven't seen. Need to pose the question first.
3. you've negated posters opinions who agreed with me in this thread.*
4. you will probably neglect the relevance of cooking in the Nigerian culture in a Nigerian forum.



My brother, we now live in a world where you should hear both sides of the arguement and then make an informed decision. But saying things like 'you will have a curse on your family, your husband will cheat on you et cetera, is not a proper tactic of informing people, ah ah. *************************************************************

Giving theories and fairy tale possibilities of a man not caring if a women cooks is not responsible. No one is threatening her just giving a prevailing point of view.


Again, it makes no sense to marry someone who you know doesn't like cooking and then try to punish them by cheating or disrespecting them. Not all men are that vindictive or stupid. *******************************************

>>>Who has said this? Fictional based paraphrasing of something that was never said?
The prevailing point once again: Men like women who cooks.

Nor is it appropriate to be threatening her life because she doesn't want to subscribe to "traditional" ideas ("You will have a curse on your family" etc). Or negatively getting impassioned because other people live different lifestyles from the traditional. *******************************************************************************

>>>Are you sane? or reliving some post-tramatic experience in your posts because this statement is not reflective of reality. Who threatened her life? Who is forcing her to subscribe to traditional ideas?
She is being informed of traditional ideas, is that NOW A CRIME?
The prevailing point once again: Men like women who cooks. You can translate that anyway you want but please base it in the realm of reality.


Being properly informed means hearing all the views out there and letting yourself be guided according to your personal preference and what you're comfortable with. It's NOT bullying or scaring people and giving one-sided accounts of what life should be. I would never shout down someone who prefers to live traditional because that's their preference and I respect it. I was raised differently and I know that influences how I view the world. But we should all give each other that same courtesy. Again, we all come from different walks of life. *****************************************

>>>She will marry who she wants to marry. A man will marry who he wants to marry. If she can find a man who primarily cooks more power to her, but she should know the probablilties of that happening is very slim . Its not a bullying tactic, its the truth. Its funny if a man states he would like to be with women who cooks, its a threat, but you as a woman can give a mans opinion and call it informed. My sister please stop projecting your traumatized past into this discussion, I come from a very stable household were women are respected. Please give the same respect in allowing me to give an opinion from a Nigerian male's point of view.

Thanks to you, this thread is now officially BORING.

Wtf? I didn't volunteer!

mizkay:
then Afeni is all yours - all the havoc you'll be needing is in that guy, he's up for grabs. na fine thing you don put your candidature up, now now, there shall be no fighting, pushing, shoving, screaming or crying o!

I don't want him. Haha.

mizkay:
@retro - are you? chei! we need firefighters o! Afeni is causing untold havoc here,

I like the havoc.

I'm on his list. Yay.

Seun:
Atheists are usually more intelligent, more educated, more rational.

True. Atheists are generally more intelligent. I'm yet to meet an intelligent christian.

Nia:
I think he means a "curse".

Oh. Thanks. People, please spell correctly.

pajimoh:
SVS, i think you are placing a course on your self, if you are not married you do not have no respect wether in Europ or Africa, even your boyfriend will kick you out if you do not know how to cook. better learn!!!!!

Lie. If he loves you, he won't kick you out. Oh, what do you mean by 'you are placing a course'? Course as in meal? What's that?

diddy4:
well, i have said my opinion. we all have our different opinions on the matter and this is my opinion.

We all know it's your opinion. This thread is full of opinions but sometimes opinions may not make sense. I've got proof to back up my opinion. What's yours?

stormz:
if u reject him then your proving yourself to be d coward that he was when HE rejected u 15 years ago.

Bullsh-t.

Olumide7:
What thing?

A penis.

diddy4:
it is better to have a dad and know wh he is dan not having one at all.

if he comes back begging, we are humans, we make mistakes, i will simple ask; why did you leave me?

if he replies, no matter the reason and how flimsy it is, i will hug him and say welcome back dad. kapish.

I don't agree AT ALL. I met my dad 4 years ago and I wished I never met him. When I was little, I had this idea that my dad was some sort of 'hero'. I always knew he abandonned me but still, I wanted to believe he loved me.
Few weeks after we met, he called me a bastard and told me he hated me. My life, in a way, is better now because I'm sort of stronger but I wish I didn't have to go through all this pain. I hate my dad.

If you were in my shoes, you won't welcome my dad. I don't want to welcome a man who smokes marijuana or who drinks. No, I don't.

Afeni:
Lucky you. Too bad the male Instruments is disgusting. I mean, its like a snake with a hole in the middle. Nothing much to look at.

And what kind of retard shakes his thing by the entrance of the bathroom?

Lol! joysticks aren't ugly.
He wasn't shaking it at the entrance. Look, I entered the 'WC', normally girls' toilets are on the right and the boys' on the left. Well, the first one was occupied, so I entered the second and I almost fainted. Seriously, the worst part was when he started laughing. Omg, omg, terrible, terrible sight.

Afeni:
Well then, I take it you know it is necessary to summit on this issue. I mean, if you keep fanning the flames, expect to get burnt.

Ha! Right. I don't even understand what 'all this' is all about. Seriously, I don't.

Anyways, I walked into the guys bathroom at the movies and I saw a guy shaking his penis (he just finished peeing), OMG! I started laughing, so did he. He pointed me to his friends, I was soooo embarassed.