Interlude: Part 3




The Rival

I am an Ode

From a long line of Odes, I was born to be one and I shall die as one. This is the sole purpose of my existence.

My name is Akanni Solagberu and I am a scourge to all Ghommids that would wish to hurt mankind. Bred for war from birth, I am a finely tuned instrument built with the singular purpose of destruction.

Today I face my death.

The Aja Oro was originally thought to be a creature of Esu, back during the Orishas reign they were found around its palace or accompanying him when he went out but when they didn’t fade like most of the creations of the gods did, it raised some questions. Now, the theory is that they predate the gods themselves. They looked like dogs but when the smallest size is that of a full grown horse, had eyes with the colors of bloods and skin of shadows. It is a most ferocious creature.

And now it is about to take a huge chunk of my head.

I command fire to arise from the air but I know it won’t nearly be enough to stop it. This is as good a death as any I think to myself.

I am distracted by my fatalistic thoughts when the ground rises smoothly in front of me forming a wall between me and the monster. As the Aja attempts to scale it, its head explode in a shower of gore.

“AK, you are getting sloppy.” Bisi mutters from behind me as her shot gun dematerializes from her hand.

She has never looked hotter than she did in that moment. The only other member of my class to join the join the Egbe Egun. She was perhaps the most dangerous girl I knew.

“Thanks.” I don’t get the chance to say more as another Aja Oro starts heading in our direction giving an awful screeching sound. I immediately jump up from where I fell and start running to meet its charge commanding the wind to increase my speed.

All around me other members of the Egbe Egun were engaging with the rest of the pack.

The team had gotten a shock when what was supposed to be a strike against one of the Aro conclaves that was said to be springing up turned into an all out war with several of the more monstrous kinds of Ghommids and Esu’s prized guards amongst them.

The conclave located in one of the abandoned warehouses on the outskirts of Akure was supposed to be a very small threat with limited resources and not this veritable army filled with all kinds of ghommids.

As I near the monster, I pivot left using the wind to increase my momentum and dodge the forward swipe by the monster, a blade made of flames form eagerly in my hands and I strike at it side. My sword passes through it as if it was air. It was one of the things that made the Aja Oro dangerous to fight, their semi-permeability allowed them to prevent attacks from hitting them.

The beast turns to face me and I jump back using the wind to increase my distance as I drew my hand gun and start shooting at it not that it does anything more than enraging it. it snarls and leaps at me completely missing Bisi who had drawn out her ada to strike at its flank.

As Bisi jumps to close in on the monster, the Aja Oro with surprising speed turns to meet her charge mid way slapping her like one kicking a ball. Bisi crumples as she lands against one of the pillars.

My eyes lights up in anger as I’m wreathed in fire and close into combat with it. This time I don’t make any fire blade but instead draw my ada as the weapon hums silently in delight of being about to see combat. I sense the energy running through the blade, it is very excited.
An Elere attempts to get in my way, the tiny imp tries to bite my feet trying to use its relative small size and extremely poisonous teeth to its advantage. I barely pause as I kick it towards the Aja Oro. The entire body of the Elere is covered in flames. It flies towards the Aja Oro who dissolves into smoke to allow it to pass through it. I was counting on this and I close the gap to the monster commanding the wind to hurl me forward. My ada striking at were the head was.

It reappears and it eyes look shocked as it takes in its position. It attempts to turn into shadow but its too late, my ada sinks into the head instantly killing it. I smile at Bisi who was already healing herself with her ase. My flames already flickering out as my tiredness almost overwhelms me.

“One One” I tell her. She scowls at me before touching my shoulder, her ase commanding my body to be whole. The feeling of tiredness immediately leaving me.

“Would you two stop your romancing and get in on the fight.” Martins shouts at us from the where he is currently fighting two large Iwins. His staff covered in lightning as he dances gracefully nimbly avoiding all their swords as he led the Iwins in a choreography that they were unaware that they are dancing.

There is no time to comment on that statement as I suddenly see a pair of phantom blades flashing towards me with my peripheral vision. I jump up and it is not a moment too soon as the place I was standing explode. I land on one of the rafters of the building and turn to look at my attacker.

Dressed completely in a black camouflage. He hurls more phantom blades at my direction. I narrowly avoid it jumping to another spot this time throwing fireballs in his direction. He dodges it but it blocks his line of sight to me for a moment. A moment is all I need as I use my handgun to fire at him.

I hear a satisfying yelp and immediately close in on him. I’m blocked by another Aro who wielding a strange looking blade covered in runes. I clash with him, my ada and his blade singing a chorus when they hit. He is stronger so I don’t bother testing my strength against him, I give way and begin dodging his strikes, parrying where I can’t. I soon find an opening when he gives a thrust, I easily parry this silently commanding the wind to aid my momentum as I turn round bending low as I move to slash at his ribs.

His eyes open wide and he tries to jump back. I smile and utter a single word.

“Ina.”

My fire elemental forms eagerly around my sword before leaping out at him consuming the area where he stood in flames. To his credit he manages to dodge most of flames, escaping with only burnt skin on his lower rib but I’m not done with him and he is injured.

I run through the flames and before he can react my ada slices through his head, the fire surrounding the ada immediately cauterizing the hole in his body.

Only a few seconds had passed since I first dodged his blades.

Bisi is engaging with another of the Aros, the Aro slowly giving ground as the earth lept to obey her every command, making the ground treacherous for the man. All around me the fighting was slowly rounding up. The rest of the guild slowly moping up the remaining ghommids, a scattering of Iwins, elere’s and a kobold.

An Iwin falls from the roof beside me. It’s dead. Martins follows soon after.

He is my squad captain. He had been with the guild the longest. His face is covered completely with scars. He has grey air and is dressed just like I am, in the standard black interlocking armor of the guild with the only difference being the red slash at his shoulders marking his position.

“So what now?” I ask him.

He shrugs. “Secure the building. Wait for-“

A loud explosion rings, and then an unearthly cry fills the air. It is coming from outside.

Well, that answers that question I grimly think to myself.

I run outside and I’m dumbfounded by the sight.

A giant shaped like a man had pulled himself out of the ground. Armored in what appeared to be the same material used to build the famous Imodoye University. As it Eldren glass that Sade called it. it stood at over 30 feet holding a massive club.

Members of the guild immediately started attacking, as space twisted, fire and brimstones rained down on him and the earth attempted to swallow it. Reality was bent to its breaking point as patches of nothing started appearing around it.

I immediately gather all of my ase available for my strongest strike, blending myself with my elemental and give the command.

The world explodes in white light and a laser emanates from my body to strike at the giant at its calf, it brings it down a knee. I stop and stumble exhausted from the power behind that attack.

The world around the giant disappears for a second and immediately afterwards the giant is restored to perfect condition as if nothing has touched it.

Completely unfair.

I see 3 members jumping up from its back to attack it, their adas flashing out as they neared its head. It notices late distracted by the barrage of attacks at it. Or at least what I assumed to be too late, instead it turns with surprising speed and using its club to swat them from the air like a man swatting out mosquitoes.

He then slams the earth with his club causing a miniature earthquake as the shock waves bring the warehouses down.

“Stop.” I hear the voice, almost a whisper as if spoken from behind me. The Commander has spoken

The order rankles but I obey following the rest of my squad to fall back.

It is then I see him. He is standing on top of the furthest warehouse. The Commander. Oyabi The Breaker. His cloak billows around him making him look like a warrior from all the stories.

The Giant too notices him and takes a step towards him. That is all it manages to do before Oyabi’s sword flashes out it explodes in a shower of broken glass.

The fight is over.




About two hours later, the guild is gathered in a husk of what used to be a warehouse. Clean up has been a chore. Separating our dead from the Aro and looking for various information and intelligence on what was here was exhausting. At the end we had seven dead, a massive loss for the unit of thirty. There has never been a mission since I joined with this much casualty. The older members shrug it off with more ease. This was not a new thing for the members that fought in The Betrayal.


Various members were gathered in cloisters. I was with the rest of my squad. Kolade and Bisi. The deaths of Wale and Matanmi weighed heavily on us. They had died in the initial breach of the conclave.

“So what do you think will happen?” Kolade asks. One of the members of my squadmates. He had a spiky and was generally far more annoying than he as tall which was saying something since he was closer to seven feet. He doesn’t however have the build to make it threatening. He had a rail thin frame that looked like it would fly if a little breeze blew in.

“How do expect me to know? We saw all the squad captains join the commanders for a meeting.” I answer with a note of relief, the silence was becoming unbearable.

“The commander.” His voice filled with awe. “I knew he was strong but wow to shatter Eldren glass like that, it is on another level. I’ve never heard of that being possible.”

“That wasn’t Eldren glass.” Bisi cuts in.

I turn to look at her. She had let out her hair and it fell round her face framing it in a way that was truly gorgeous.

“Or at least, not the real type. It was man made.” She continues as she brings out a small piece and shows it to us. She breathes in and I notice a slight distortion on the surface of the glass as it slowly changes color.

“Real Eldren glass would have rejected my color.”

“Even then it was still very tough.” I add. She looks at me. “True, it negated most of our attacks and ina should have burnt its leg to a crisp.”

She hesitates as if considering saying something then stops. I don’t get a chance to ask her as the squad captains come troop out.

Everyone falls silent and waits for Oyabi to speak.

“We mourn the loss of those we’ve lost but we have a mission in front of us. We have gathered intel here of a massive operation going on in Irunmale.”

My heart is pounding as I hear his words.

He continues “They are in league with the ghommids to release the Orishas and we are moving out to stop it immediately.”







THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD
By Kofi Drisse.

Chapter 2: Meaning of Ase

Ase is one innate power by which mankind can create or change the world as he perceives it. There is a force that allows the dynamic existence of reality for it is by it all changes of any kind happens and it is by Ase man has the power to control it. Translated directly to power, authority and command. Simply put it is power to make whatever one says happen.

Everything has this innate Ase from the stones to man. A being with a higher Ase can command one with lower to bend to its will.

We shall examine the two fundamental types of Ase. The lower form which bends the world to the person wills but it is usually temporary. This is because the Ase only works on a superficial level and does not entirely change the concept of it from the mind of the universe hence the universe working to restore what was bent to its natural order. There is a rate of decay of Ase proportional to the investment of power in the Ase. This has been proven by the Makovitch/Ajaka Theorem. Admittedly the rate of decay is very little but it is still there and it causes the Ase to be susceptible to unraveling by another person as time goes on. This is why enchanters anchor their Ase to time exponentially reducing the rate of decay to a completely negligible level. This form of Ase is what is colloquially known as Bounded Phantasm.

The second type of Ase is colloquially known as the godly form because it is could only be used by the gods. It completely changes the entirety of the concept from the universe hence it has no rate of decay as the universe sees it as completely normal and has no reason to want to change it. This form of Ase is magnitudes harder to wield, so much so that the gods themselves usually preferred the lower form except when making a point especially since one can always tie the Ase down to reduce the rate of decay. Examples of the use of The Higher form can be found in the Walls of Imodoye University, the stones used to build it was created by the entire Yoruba pantheon working together. Another example is the blades used by the Seraphs, it was created by the being that was calling itself Elohim. That is why when they died their creations did not decay with them like every other god in the planet.

The use of the Higher form is not out of the reach of humanity but it is so far out there that there is only one known human to be able to access this. Bados. No one is sure how he managed to access it. The only other known form of human interaction with this higher form is the Yoruba Language. The Yoruba Pantheon imbued the concept of their language with the ability to channel The Higher form exclusively. This however did not help them as instead of making it easier to channel The Higher form it made it harder to speak the language to the extent that most of the language now lies forgotten. This is one of the factors that led to their quick demise.

On examining the relationship between The Higher and Lower forms of Ase we find that……..


A.N: This marks the end of the interludes and also the end of the first part. This part is basically the introduction and setting up arc. The next arc will be starting tomorrow and will take place in Irunmale and would be more action oriented and even more fun for me to write so I'm looking forward to that. I want to thank everyone that has read it so far and those who commented, I really appreciate it.

Interlude: Part 2



The Friend

I am a good friend.

I have been told that it is one of my few redeeming qualities, that my loyalty to those I consider my friends is unquestionable and uncompromising. I have a lot of flaws. I am crazy, I have a terrible temper, I am a bad liar but if any fault of mine is going to lead to my downfall

I believe it is going to be my loyalty.

It was why when Makinde called to tell me that the opportunity to enter Irunmale has arrived that I immediately dropped my research into disproving the second Elenre Theorem on the relativistic causality of space time manipulation. It did not matter I was so close to the finishing or that all the time I had put into it had been lost.

It is this kind of decision someone might call impulsive but they couldn’t be further from the truth. The fact was I heard a firm grip on my priorities. Life would go far smoother for everyone if we all had a clear idea of what exactly we want and in what order but I have long accepted that not everyone could be as smart as I am. A burden I have to live with.

I have since found out that the reason why people call me impulsive is because I actually take my time to think. Ironic right? But then again people are stupid so it is no surprise. People don’t just appreciate just how careful I am. I can methodologically and properly analyze my actions, considering all the angles and the consequences that could possibly come from it in the space of a single breath and just because someone got stuck in time that one time doesn’t negate just how much caution and restraint I exercise. I’m awesome not perfect, even I can make mistakes once in a while.

So my “hasty” decision to drop everything at Katunga and rush to help the idiot was a result of several hours of planning and consideration of several dozen possible scenarios. This is the reason I am considered a genius.

So when I presented my forged release form and bribed the guardsman at the armory to accept another obviously fake letter from the DG allowing me requisition some extremely dangerous weapons. He guard had a crisis of conscience so I had to resort to blackmail. There is no such thing as overkill so carrying a few experimental weapons to what appeared to be a simple heist is perfectly acceptable. It is also my first heist so I’m a little excited and really want to show off in a particularly dramatic fashion when things go completely off the rails.

I flaunted my credentials to book a private gate travel to Ijebu-Ode. Lucky for me as I got to avoid the leakage that occurred across the commercial warrens. This would be something that would get the old foggies at Katunga all excited. It isn’t very hard to find Makinde and even better to watch his reactions to seeing me. The shape his face took is a look I will cherish for a long time. It wasn’t long after that Makinde decided to go and pick the idiot.

It was then I had to make the call I’d been avoiding for a while. I had to call my DG. I dialed him and waited as The Doom played on my phone.

He soon picked up the call.

“Boss. How are you doing?” I say, injecting as much cheer as I can into my voice.

“Sade.” His voice warning me.

I ignore it. “And how is the missus? And the children, hope they are not giving you too much trouble?”

“Sade. Enough.” He growls out.

Huh, I’d never heard him this angry in a while. I command time to stop to allow me consider how to proceed.

I release time. “And your mustache? Still looking diseased?”

I could hear the heavy breathing as he tried to control his temper. I’m oddly proud of myself, it talks a lot to get him to lose a sliver of control and I’m always happy to get him there.

“Where are you right now?” he asks, his temper back under control. His voice completely lacking any emotion.

“Ijebu-Ode.” I answer blightly before adding “to join a smuggling crew.”

“You stole ongoing research projects and government secrets to join a smuggling crew?”

“Yes. You are the one telling me to get out more, see the world. Etcetera.”

The voice that I hear sounds defeated. “What am I going to do with you now?” he asks himself. “and if I tell you to return immediately will you answer?”

“No, I’m having so much fun here.” I tell him.

He sighs. “The I have no choice, I’m releasing the Aja Oru to come after you. Your best deal will be Kirikiri then. Can’t you change your mind? Not even your benefactor can protect you from the consequences this time.”

I am going to hate it if he gets all weepy so I throw him a bone.

“Check your top left drawer. It should explain enough of what is going on to you.” I tell him before I cut the call and switch off my phone. The encryption there should keep them running in circles if they try to search for me but better not to take chances.”

I remind myself that I am a good friend. That dropping and potentially ruining any trust my boss has on me is a mark of how good a friend I am.



I leave Makinde’s club to wait until Segun gets back before I surprise him with a call. It is cute how he thought that he could cut me out of the plan. It is sweet when he gets all noble like that but as I told him we are in it together so he has to pay for attempt. The slap felt great but ruining his future job prospects as a petty criminal is so much more satisfying. A quick picture of his face when he realized this is now safely stored for future occasion, another benefit of being able to manipulate time to your advantage. It was fun to chat with him, it has been the better part of six months since we last saw each other and Segun was always good for a laugh.

I use the time to rearrange my gears, double checking them and stealing more from the poorly guarded weapons shed that Makinde kept. If he didn’t want them stolen he should have kept a better eye on them. This and reassuring myself that this was worth the cost I’ve paid was how I spent my time till it was time for the meeting.



I was enjoying the cake on the table when the first person entered. He was a powerfully built man. Obviously Military by his stance and dressing. 2nd army most likely judging by the red earring. That made it more interesting, I pay closer attention to him and then I see it. The tattoo. A burning skull. What in the world did I just sign up for? I search the mental database I err borrowed when I first joined Katunga. I search for his face and get an immediate match. Sergeant Bankole of the fifth squad. He survived Sokoto which made him a dangerous person and very likely he is angry at Oyo military structure. He kept a low profile before completely disappearing off the radar about a year ago. It was assumed he joined The Aro. Showing himself brazenly here must mean there is a lot more going on with this trip than even I previously judged.

I draw Segun into a time bubble and warn him. I see his mind whirling through the implications of this appearance and even if he doesn’t know all the details, he knows something is wrong here too. Good, best he is on his guard.

The next group to enter are kids and I don’t need to check the database to find out who they were, I had studied their case obsessively as part of my thesis. The Bush babies. Survivors of the infamous Ayeni Kidnappings. An entire class of kids kidnapped and then abandoned deep in Irunmale, some assume as far as Isalu Orun. Only a handful came out years later, long after the Ode gave up search for them. They came out irrevocably changed yet only little changes physically. I suppose Makinde hired them to be our guides in the forest. They are amusing and their antics are hilarious to watch especially how it annoyed Segun.

The boy all of sudden points at Bankole and asks “Why is he all statue like?”

Segun answers smiling “Why don’t you ask him yourself.” I am so proud of my boy at that moment. His style of putting someone in trouble which was so well done and now maybe Bankole would drop some clues as to why he is here.

The boy in a show of recklessness that almost surprises me, their experiences in the forest must have reduced the bar on what they considered to be dangerous.

“Don’t” is all Bankole says. The word laced with so much power and authority that I shiver a little.

Unfortunately the boy isn’t going to relent and will possibly get himself killed or worse which would be bad for the job and my mission as not even his axes that he is about to bring out will be enough to save him from the fury of a Burning Skull so I text Makinde to come and break it up. It was something I did painfully. To miss an opportunity to watch a beat up is painful but I have my priorities.

I watch as it all breaks off and the tension drains out as the little miss serious of the group apologizes for the boy’s behavior.

I decide to start off introductions

“Yeah, I am Sade. Mistress of Space, time and all things awesome.” It is good for people to know this kinds of things upfront and appearing overly cheery leads to underestimation. You see, I am smart. I move to Segun

” and that’s Segun, he’s a bit of a wimp, a whiner and also yeah kind of shifty, doesn’t keep his word-“ he tries to cut in but I shush him and continue ” I know I’m getting to the good parts, He’s okay at fighting I guess even if he couldn’t get into the Ologun, he is also generous with his money although to be fair it isn’t really his but his dad’s so I’m not so sure how he is with his.” Always good to let him know he is still in trouble.

Then I face the real reason I started the introductions

“Sooooo….What’s a Burning Skull doing here.” I give Bankole my sweetest smile as I slow time down for myself to study his reactions.

A brief look crosses his face, a mixture of mild anger, recognition and amusement. So his identity doesn’t have much to do with what is going on.

“He was keeping it hidden for a reason, do you think it is wise to reveal the secret of a dangerous man like that.” Segun asks. I shrug. “Live a little, life would be boring without a dash a danger.” Besides I really need to find out what is going on here for all our sakes.

“You should have listened to your friend.” Bankole says but I can tell he doesn’t really care about it or about the fact that I am here. I wonder what he recognized.

It takes a while before the last person enters. His blue scars shaped in the irawo pattern shocks me immensely. It is however nothing compared to what follows him in. I cannot make out anything since it is under an illusion, a particularly powerful one and while I can unravel it, I don’t.

I’ve always loved a good mystery although some people are going to receive some asskicking when I get back. I don’t know what game Makinde is playing but it is something very serious and I wonder how he got the kind of connections required for this job. The game is on, only I am far behind.

I look at Segun and I see his eyes try to place the man but they fail.

I gulp. I wonder how long that would last.

I am good friend.

If I tell myself that enough times maybe I will finally believe it.

I am good friend.





Glossary: Part 1

Agbako - classified a dewild. Has sixteen eyes that rotates in the irawo pattern. Shaped like a large man. Unknown origins. No orisha claimed ownership. Armed with two swords and two clubs. Immense Physical prowess and Authority. Authority however seems limited to its immediate battle environ.

Alaase – Anyone that can use his authority on any aspect of the world reliably.

Alfred Beaucourt – Head of the Magus Association. Also elected the secretary general of the World Council.

Aro – An Orisha Cult. Their major goal is to bring about the return of the Orishas.

Ase - Otherwise known as Bounded Phantasm. It is the force that permeates and possesses all things. It is the innate power possessed by man to make things happen and produce changes upon the physical realm. It is the authority of man to bend the world to his will. (Check The Foundation of the World by Prof Kofi Drisse for further explanation)

Ashanti – A protectorate under Oyo.

Bashorun – Position of the Prime minister in Oyo.

Burning Skulls – An elite company famous for many of their engagements. Nominally attached to the 2nd army. Operates independently most times.

Caliphate – The Coalition of the various emirates that were originally on the northern border of Oyo.

Cowries – Official Currency of the Oyo.

Dragon Riders – A major faction of the World Council. Based in Brazil.

Eso – The generals and various heads of department in the Military.

Ghommids – This is general name for all the species that exist in Irunmale.

Godless Army – A major Faction of the World Council. One of the first rebellion on earth. The godless army purpose is to kill all the gods. They reject completely the use of anything godly in nature.

Hanged Jackals – A violent group of extremist amongst the Ghommids. They seek areturn to the former glory they enjoyed under the gods.

Ijapa – The anthropomorphic representation of the tortoise. Its real name is Awon.

Immortal Knights – The enforcement body of the World Council. Made up of warriors wielding weapons of legends tied to their souls.

Irunmale – Otherwise Known as the Faery Realm. It is reality where creatures not anchored to the gods live. It is the realm closest to humanity with locations round the world where they are holes between both realities called Breaches.

Isalu orun – roughly translates to Lower heaven. Refers to the cracks in the faery realm where the worst sorts of creatures live.

Josiah Eliakim - The current Grand Master of the Seraph Warriors.

Kankanfo – Head of the Military. Chosen from the Named Esos.

Katunga – Originally a Military barrack built by the god Ogun. It is now the Military Research and Development Centre.

Langbodo – Home of the Orishas.

Mage Association – A major faction of the World Council. It is an association made up of people who can perform bounded phantasm up to a certain level. Premier organization when it comes to performing human bounded phantasms.

Ode – Translated to Hunters. It is an elite special force unit branch of the Oyo Military force. It specializes in Intelligence gathering specializing in deep reconnaissance and counter-terrorism. It also has been charged with the duty of guarding the breaches.

Ogboni – The seventh department that makes up the Oyo Mesi (The government). The Mystery department, it handles all supernatural matters in the country. Its operations and members are classified.

Olode – Members of the Ode are colloquially called this.

Ologun – Refers to any elite member of their military that has been certified as an alaase.

Orisha – Yoruba word for their Gods.

Realmatic Aperture – A hole in reality that connects two different locations in space together. Red Company – A mercenary military company. Major base of operation is West Africa.
Red Company – A mercenary military company. Major base of operation is West Africa.

Seraph Warriors– The Order of warriors formed just before the start of the divine war. They use weapons found in the Holy armory. They rose to prominence in the war against the Norse gods.

Songhai – Country on the northern Borders of Oyo.

World Council – The inter-governmental organization to promote peace and protect the world against foreign threats.

Interlude: Part 1




Modern History: West Africa (Prof Marcus Morra)


UNIT 3: THE POST RED NIGHT ERA
In this Unit. We shall examine the various factors that led to a rapid rise (relatively speaking) of the nations in West Africa in the post Red Night Era and the effects it has had on the political reality of today. In this we shall be using Songhai and Oyo as case studies and to a lesser extent Mandinka. These nations were some of the first to re-establish an effective human led government after The Divine War. In the case of Oyo, they were established even before The Divine War.

At this time, most of the world was in chaos, still reeling from the devastation that was the end of the war. Chunks of the moon were still falling from the sky, the new patterns of the solar system was wreaking havoc to earth’s natural geography, several laws of physics still adjusting to the new reality. Humans was now without supernatural rulers for the first time in what experts estimate to be between hundred and one hundred years. The coalition of the various human freedom fighters were decimated and they were at loggerheads at how to proceed. The thing that made them allies was now gone and so human rivalries and agendas came out to play. The Dragon riders disagreeing with the Immortal Knights on the ownership of the Shard Sabers. The Mage Asscociation and the Godless Army coming closest to war over an issue that is still a mystery amongst many other examples of schisms in the Coalition prior to the formation of the World Council.

It was in this world that two states using vastly different approaches started to build up what would be two major world powers. Songhai created riding on the charisma of its first leader Sonni Ali who gained recognition for his actions during the Sundering of the Moon. It was his fame he used to unite the various factions that would now become Songhai. Oyo on the other hand having deposed their godly rulers early embarked on a conquest of their neighbors under the pretext of freeing them from the yoke of their neighbors. It would have been well received but their expansion did not stop even after the Divine War and it was until the newly formed World Council decided to step in that did they agree to stop.

The first factor to consider is the location. West Africa had the unique opportunity of being placed in a location where The Nugatory Strata between all known realities and dimensions is fragile but not too fragile to be inhospitable to man i.e Australia. This allowed the gods to use transference for the construction of some of their infrastructure instead of bounded phantasm due to its facile nature. Thus after the war whilst bounded phantasms of the gods and other creatures associated with them were dissipating adding to the chaos, most of the infrastructure provided a measure of constancy for the people of the west allowing them to focus on challenges past their immediate needs. More on this in chapter 4 of this unit.

Another factor is the nature of the rebellion in West Africa. It wasn’t an overt force like the Godless Army but instead it operated with a surprising degree of subterfuge. Olorugbo of Oyo initiated a civil war between its gods during which he slowly seeded their government with his own agents, using them to acquire the secret of their bounded phantasms. Sonni Ali was a trusted High priest of his gods who used his position to capitalize on the weakness of his gods during the early stages of the Divine War.

This process while bloody was significantly less than what was went on in most parts of the world. The Fall of Aberdeen, The Moscow Campaigns amongst many others come to mind………




The Father

The sun rose in the west.

It was a beautiful sight to behold, the colors and hues providing a most splendid vision of beauty and yet it was another perversion on the natural order of things caused by the Red Night. Yet and perhaps because of this the sunrise was one of the few things left that he enjoyed.

There was something about the world rising up to fight for yet another day in spite of all hardships and injuries suffered that by all reason it should have died a long time ago. He could do no less for the planet he helped kill. This and many other regrets was what he pondered upon , as he made his way down to the secluded area of the park to sit on his favorite stone bench by the pond and wait to watch the sunrise as it had been his ritual for the past five years. The majesty of which never ceased to amaze him.

The Butter-wings as they are fondly called because of the butter like nature of their wings, a bit unimaginative but it does the work were dancing as they floated on top of the pond, the rays from the sun refracted around them into beautiful prismatic colors, the birds singing in angelic tunes as they thanked Olodumare for yet another day, the smell of the beautiful flowers filling his nostrils with such beautiful scent. This spot was truly a slice of heaven in this hell that is earth.

The tranquility of his morning ritual is disrupted when he feels someone in the park. He stiffens then extends his senses feeling several more that were well hidden. It wasn’t until he senses the last person who was sitting in his spot, his presence lighting up his senses.

He had certainly aged well, very little of his fifty years showing on his body. Gone was the savage look filled with vengeance and hatred when they had first met all those years ago. Now stood someone’s grandfather and he certainly looked the part looking a bit portly. That however did not change how dangerous he was. His girth held ase that was most potent to his senses. He is The Kankanfo, The Generalissimo of Oyo, The most powerful Ologun in the entire military, he is my friend.

He made his way to him, standing behind his bench like a ceremonial guard. The image is however ruined when he opens his mouth.

“7 guards Afolabi? And just to visit me, are you growing senile in your dotage because this is paranoid even for you?”

He smiles, there are few people that could talk to him like that these days. His position had generated a rightly earned fear amongst most people and most of those that can talk to him freely and already either hate him or want nothing to do with him these days. On some days I fall into those categories, today however I’m happy to see an old friend. I also had little of that these days.

“Or does Moremi have you bowing to her every whim now?” I add as a smile graces my face.

“hmmm, you should take that up with Moremi.” He answers. We pause for a minute and laugh. It is the kind of laughter that only old friends can share. His wife had a viciousness that was only matched by her overprotective spirit of those she considered family. Her reactions to what we allowed to befall Segun… I shake my head, best not to dwell on such thoughts.

“Sit down boy, I rarely have time to enjoy your company and don’t bother yourself over them, Moremi chose them herself.” He tells me even though he isn’t all that older than me now. I smile, the gulf that was the Betrayal still marks everyone that joined past it a boy in the eyes of those that lived in it.

Together we enjoy the beautiful moment of peace of quiet.

The spell is broken again when he speaks

“How goes the plan?” he asks.

“It has begun, the crew has been assembled and should enter Irunmale Tonight.” I say and cannot hide the bitterness that fills my voice.
A look of pity crosses his eyes.

“I’m sorry, if I could spare him I would but you know how essential he is for this to work.” He tells me in the paternal voice he has perfected.

“I know. It is just painful my son has to pay for my mistakes.”

“You cannot the blame for this, there was nothing you could do.” He senses I am about to refute that and adds “We have had this discussion a thousand times or perhaps I should call Moremi to explain it to you again?” he adds.

I smile at that, the last time Moremi tried to help me from what she termed my self-pity and teenager inspired angstying I ended up with broken bones all over my body and more injuries that I had gained on duty.

“Good so stop it. It is unbecoming of the Eso Ole.” His voice switching back to the one of everyone recognizes as the Kankanfo.

“What of the others?” He asks.

“They are all in agreement although I cannot truly say if Ijapa is for us.” I tell him.

“That has always been the way with that creature but we can trust his greed, Ijapa will not be the problem.” He says.

“Hmph, we have thrown the dice all we can do now is see where they fall.” I say. A young butter wing flies close to my head, its wings not yet full enough to bend light into the rainbow.

“What of the Bashorun?” he ask

“What of him?” he replies me neutrally.

I roll my eyes at his antics. Afolabi would never part with any secret if he could help it.

“His leaning on the amendment may very well affect everything. It is too early for war.”

“Yes it is but don’t bother yourself on him. I have him under control.” That statement alone shows just how powerful he is.

“If you say so.”

“Solagberu has met with Ben-Judah. Israel has agreed to the taskforce. They are just finalizing the logistics.”

“I bet the Council was happy with that decision.” I say

“Alfred is not a fool no matter his failings, he cannot oppose us all in this expedition even if it he doesn’t like it. Too many powerful signatories are in agreement. Israel, Greater Chicagoland, Bados, india and us. The alliance is too much for him to break. All he can do now is to play catch up. In this he and his Mage Association are beaten.”

“So the journey into The Deep is a go then. Even though that alliance would easily unravel if they find out what we are doing here. Isn’t it a bit too fast?”

“Yes it is but what is life without a little risk. We need this especially with what that mad woman in Texas is doing, Chicagoland can only keep her in check for so long. Her alliance with the Naagoolshi is worrying.”

“Still doesn’t explain the rush- ah the Ogboni.” I say as I came to that realization.

His silence says enough.

“Solagberu chose Dami for the expedition.” He adds.

A knife twists in my stomach warring with the pride there.

“Dami is strong.” I say. Painful to hear another son walking in to disaster in one another of my schemes.

“I could not stop it, I-“

I wave my hands stopping him.

“He chose this life.”

The silence that follows is full of regrets.

Let me add this link to that.

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I have found this link immensely useful

drippingink3:
different the other one. well arrange. keep it up. i'm following.

Thanks. That was one of the aims of rewriting. Adjust the story to flow better, tweaking things I didn't like or wanted to come in to play and put in new information.

Osaze20091:
Love This,we Should Be Expecting More Today Right?

Yes. I'm writing this as part of Nanowrimo Challenge which is to write 50,000 words in the month of November so my aim is to post at least 1667 words daily to meetup with that goal.

XXXXX
It wasn’t until later in the evening that Makinde was ready to begin the meeting.

“Sir, Oga says I should call you” I crane my head back from where I sat on the floor and saw a young girl not more than fifteen calls from the doorway into my room.

I had been in the deep, meditating. The process of relaxing my emi to allow for greater versatility and potency to my ase. I sigh. It had been the deepest I’d gone, I could almost begin to feel the flicker of something beyond.

“I’ve heard” I tell her and begin to gather myself. Shoring up my fortifications against being commanded by another. The meeting was going to be filled with dangerous people and it won’t do to let your guard down against these types of people. I feel my ase settle on me like armor as the physical reality shuddered a bit at the weight of it before reverting to normal.

I notice the girl in my periphery fidgeting there. “Go” I tell her “I’ll find my way there.”

She hesistates “Oga says I must bring you there myself.” I suppress my irritation at Makinde’s antics, it won’t do to blow up at the messenger besides she wasn’t all that younger than myself.

“Okay I’m coming.” I turn and head to the cupboard where I had stored my bag. I take a quick look and decide to carry only the pistol and some of the enchanted rings. While I wanted to be cautious, it won’t do to appear overly paranoid, that was a sign of weakness which in its way was just as dangerous.

She leads me back to the conference room I’d met Sade earlier. It was only her there again and this time there are a lot of snacks laid on the table. She was already helping herself to some of them when I sat beside her.

“How as your meditation?” she asks in between stuffing her mouth with cake.

“As good as can be expected. Almost got something this time too and if not for the disturbance I’m sure I’d have gotten there.” I tell her

“Uh uh” She nods, her face clearly showing her disbelief. “You suck at meditation, just admit that you aren’t good at something and get on with your life.

“Hmph” I mutter, not wanting to admit anything in this familiar talk or she would just draw out my mockery. I change the subject. “Hope you had your fill disturbing Makinde all day, no funny business here.”

“Oh don’t worry yourself, I can be very serious. Like this.” She says as she smiles what would pass for innocent on any other person. I put my head in my hands.

“Please, this is very important.”

“Oh shush baby, watch as your boss in everything wrecks this place as the biggest most serious BAMF around.” Her right hand fold into a fist and slams the table as she finishes her sentence.

Before I can reply. The door opens and a man steps in.

He is tall, closer to seven feet than six. He had the build of a solder. He wore a sleeveless shirt that showed his rather impressive arms. His had a buzz cut similar in style to what the soldiers use. As he enters I notice his eyes flit over the room, accessing everything and locating egress points. This was a professional. He nods at us, his eyes widening a little bit when he looks at me, I nod back and Sade gives a small wave. He acknowledges this with his eyes and turns to take a seat on the opposite side of where Sade and I sat. Sade suddenly stiffens beside me and grabs my hand and time stops.

“Look at the tattoo on his arm!” her voice wavering a bit. I squint at the arm of the now frozen statute of the man and notice but pale flesh at first but something feels off and I exert my ase to let me see and then picture resolves into view. The symbol of a skull on fire shows on his arm. Lead settles in my stomach.”

“What is an ex-member of The Burning Skulls doing here? Thought they were all wiped out in Sokoto?” A bit of awe in my voice. The Burning Skull was a legendary elite division of the Oyo Third army. They were formed in the ashes of the Divine War and were highly respected and greatly feared by the enemies of the country. Fighting against the rebellions and chaos that cropped up when the Orishas were deposed, they gained a reputation for ruthlessness and efficiency and began to take the most dangerous missions, fighting and winning against most odds. It wasn’t until Sokoto where an ambush by the now former caliphate and the mercenaries The Red Company that they were destroyed and even then they fought a holding action far longer than anybody anticipated buying precious time for the government to put up its defenses. This was against an army that had surprise and numbers on its side and should have overwhelmed them. My dad believes It was their actions there that finally broke the Caliphate and won the war.

“Not exactly, the company was shut down there but a couple here and there survived that disaster and were discharged but….” She trails off, her eyes studying the face of the guy. “I recognize him, his name is Bankole. He was one of the known survivors and had kept a low profile since then, maybe he has been plying his trade as a mercenary.”

“Something is wrong here, even if he is a mercenary Makinde should not be able to afford someone like him besides weren’t they famous for their loyalty and the oath they swore to. Someone like him shouldn’t be here at all.” I ask her bringing her attention to the matter.

“I agree but well it is not like all of them were saints.” She shrugs, releasing my hand and time resumes. Bankole stops midstride and turns to look at her before brushing it off and taking his seat.

The door opens and three kids troop in. The first in was a boy, no more than twelve years if I were to guess with a hair that needs serious combing. Wearing a dirty white shirt complete with a school badge on it and red shorts.

The remaining two were girls dressed in red gowns of the same school. Both looked like sisters although one had her hair in pig tails. The group as a whole could not look more out of place if they tried. I’m about to ask whether they were lost when I notice it. The ase on them has a strange quality to it, feels completely inhuman and different from everything I’ve sensed before.

“-out of his league, there is a reason he is the champion for the fifth year in a row” the boy says facing the pigtail girl.

“Well he hasn’t faced a real challenge in a while now, just the dregs. And while we-” she answers snottily as she steps inside.

“Oh keep quiet you two. Can’t you see we are here already, have some decency.” The third one says sounding very much like she was used to be the serious one.

“Eh, can’t lost all of mine a long time ago.” The boy shrugs then he sees the cake on the table. His eyes visibly water with excitement. “oooooh cake” he shouts and lunges for one.

The third girl slaps her hand to her face. “sorry for my brother. He is disturbed.”

“Tolu, behave yourself or I’m calling Uncle.” Pigtails screeches at him as he stuffs yet another cake into his mouth.

“Spoilsport.” He mumbles but he takes his seat. The serious girl seats beside him and pats his hand consoling while trying and failing to hide a smile.

Their antics was off putting as from the ase I could feel, they couldn’t possibly be children.

“So who are you guys?” Sade asks the somewhat serious girl.

“We are to be your guide.”

“The three of you?” Sade continues as my eyebrows are raised.

“We come as a package deal.” Pigtails answer, purposely misunderstanding the question. The boy Tolu snorts ant the serious one sighs.

“Please don’t mind them. We are Bush Babies. I’m Tola.” She points at pigtails. That is Tope and the boy is Tolu.”

It then clicks. The irunmale forest has been known to distort the senses, even affecting space and time on a scale so large that days can turn to weeks or even years and vice versa depending on where you are. Theorized to be a result of its location inbetween our world and the realm of gods and also the cracks that occurred when the realm of gods was unhinged from all reality.

The bush babies were a special case as they were part of a school located near an entrance to the forest in Akure that got swallowed up by it in an attack ascribed to the Aro, the incident that led to the Kankanfo leading his Esos to wipe them out. They were not found for years and when a couple of survivors came out, they were irrevocably changed.

Apparently some of them turned to criminal activities. The profile of the group Makinde is assembling keeps getting even more interesting.

“Ah, that’s very cool.” Sade says, smiling at them.

The boy Tolu points to Bankole. “Why is he all statue like?” he asks.

“Why don’t you ask him yourself.” I smile at him. Sade gives me the look that says she knows what I’m doing and approves. It seems the forest had bred away his common sense.

He narrows his eyes at me and turns to face Bankole. “Hey dude who are you and why are you standing all stonefaced.”

Bankole doesn’t even blink or acknowledge him.

Tolu gets a bit flustered, and then stands shrugging his sister’s hand as she tries to pull him to sit down. He stalks to where Bankole is sitting and raises his finger in a move to poke him.

“Don’t” Bankole says, his bass voice cold and without any emotions.

The same grin that has graced every stubborn child or bully that ever lived found his face. I couldn’t help hide my smile while his sisters look in
embarrassment and wary.

“Or what?’ Tolu challenges and the room temperature suddenly plummets.

A certain dread creeps of its own unique quality up on me. Makinde notices this and starts laughing.

“That’s her, isn’t it?” The sound of his laughter as annoying as ever.

“It isn’t funny.” And truly it wasn’t. I had hoped that I would be able to sneak this past her but apparently fate and Makinde, judging by the way he is laughing had a different plan.

“You had to call her, even after all the pleading and everything I did for you on the side just to make sure you didn’t.” I glower at him.

“Well, you’ve know her. Didn’t want to be on the wrong side of that temper.” He shivers as if remembering a previous incident. “It is not good for business.”

“But you promised.” I really I could kill with sight alone. It would be something worth investing in if not for anything but moments like this.

“Eh.” His hands moving in a so-so motion.

“Aren’t you going to pick that.” Pointing at the phone I’m slowly trying to crush in my hands. “You know it is only going to get worse if you ignore her calls.” He adds with a smirk on his face.

Unfortunately, he is very right. Sade is not the type of person you can get away with ignoring her calls and I’m on very thin ice by trying to exclude her from this job after promising her the exact opposite.

I throw another glower his way and raise the phone to my ear, a safe distance from it though. My eardrums can only take so much.

“Hello” I say in the sweetest voice I can manage, sounding like a squeaky high pitched child to the backdrop of Makinde’s laughter.

“That’s what you have to say.” A surprisingly calm voice answers me.

“How are you doing?” I venture to add, a bit unsure at the tone of her voice.

“Oh I’m completely fine, great even after all discovering your friend who is an even bigger idiot than previously estimated. Something I would think not possible if not for the overabundance of evidence before me.”

I try to cut her off. “I can ex-“

“Your stupidity? Or why you thought in that pea sized brain of yours that going without me was a good idea. How you thought you could survive in there is beyond me.”

At that my masculine pride was pricked. “Hey now, I’m trained, best of my class in the academy.”

“Oh, and the worst part was you thinking you were going to get it past me.” Continuing as if she hadn’t heard me although most likely she hadn’t.

“For that you deserve a slap.” She concludes.

Wait, what is as far as my thought processes before I’m suddenly thrown back by a force. My jaw is rocked and possibly dislocated by the slap that came out of nowhere.

I stumble and almost fall down and try to regain my balance. A figure appears standing in front of me. She is dark complexion with dada hair never seems to care about maintaining, two tribal marks on her cheeks. Lean and short, a combination that leads to underestimation. A very dangerous preposition for anybody. She is a prodigy especially when it comes to time aspected ase and was grabbed by Katunga about a year ago, one of the youngest recruits into the Military Research and Development Division top secret base. She is also one of the few people from my old life to maintain any contact with me as most just abandoned me to my fate. She is also the most frustrating person I know.

She is muttering to herself as she observes me with the clinical efficiency of a nurse as I am on the floor “Jaw not broken, well maybe a little.

Eyes glazed, a little disorientation was expected. Maybe that was too hard, sounded like it was too hard. Maybe I should I have reduced the intensity of it, wait what am I saying, he deserved it. Should have made it harder, probably with a few screw loose. Not that it matter anyway you can’t go minus in brain power.”

The muttering doesn’t seem to have an end compounded with the ringing in my ears and the howling laughter in the background. Glad someone finds my situation funny

A hand helps to raise me up to my feet.

“I’m not going to apologize, you deserved that.” Sade says, her eyes dancing with mirth.

“Whatever.” I say as I stand up. “How did you even find out?”

“Well I held Makinde’s balls with a vice and made him promise to tell me whenever he finally managed to wrangle a crew to enter Irunmale.” A voice so very innocent that an outsider would have trouble believing what she said.

From where he sits, Makinde crosses his legs.

“Uh,” I look at Makinde. “Would have loved to see that.” Now it is his turn to glower at me.

“Yeah well I took pictures but since you had to be foolish you won’t get to see them.” She sniffs disdainfully as she takes a seat. I try to wrap my head around that then came to a realization.

“But Makinde is not the only contractor I work with.”

Her face transforms into a sheepish grin. “I might have taken that into account as well.”

“Okay, I’m very sure there are easier ways to keep tabs on me.” A dawning horror at what she has done growing on my face.

“Yes there are. But not as fun.” She enunciates as if explaining to a dumb child.

“You would call pissing off dangerous criminals fun?”

“Of course, not like they can do anything about it. Too scared of Katunga for the thought to cross their mind not like it even matters.”

“Then they would take out their frustrations on me. The lowly student criminal without any big organization to back up.” I say with gritted teeth.

She pats my shoulder condescendingly. “You are a big boy, I’m sure you can take it.”

I’m pretty sure at that moment that if I was a thermometer, I’d have exploded from too much heat.

“You see why you shouldn’t attempt to cross me” the saccharine quality of voice cutting sharp than any blade.

My mind goes blank and I look for a seat to collapse in and contemplate my future as a criminal if all the people that are too give me work hate me. I’m too tired to point out that she already ruined me before I’d even crossed her. I turn to Makinde

“And you are okay with working with us?”

“Not really. I probably won’t call again for any job in a while but she made promise to swear to give you this one and besides the additional firepower she brings at no cost to me makes up for it a bit.”

“Oh , I almost forgot while salivating my vengeance. I got a gift for you.” She announces, her voice giddy with excitement. It is then I notice the backpack next to her seat and I wonder what evil she has in store for me next.

She pulls out a blade from the bag that is too large to have come from the bag and my eyes pop.

“Your ada from training. I know it was special to you, one of your most impressive pieces of enchantments if I must say. I know you are fantastic with those but this one is cut above most. The additional enhancements you added and the way it is layered to grow in strength is phenomenal, how did you do it? I’ve figured out the professional power every Olode blade is infused with but yours contains something different.”

I tune out most of what she says and focus on the blade. My most prized possession. I thought I had lost it forever when I got kicked out but here it is in front of me. I’m overcome with emotions

“How?” I choke out.

“A little bit of blackmail, begging and burglary.” She smiles at me and hands it over.

“Thanks. I owe you one for this.” I tell earnestly.

“Silly you, you can add it to the thousands of favors you already owe me.” At this we smile together.

“Still can’t believe you got me on the blacklist of many crime bosses.” I tell her, a lot calmer now as I gently run my fingers over my sword.“

“Like I said it was fun.” Turning to face Makinde. “Aren’t we supposed to start at about this time?”

“The mess at the gates has shifted transport plans so other members of the crew are not yet around. They should be hear by evening” He says shrugging as he stands up. “I’ve had rooms prepared for this eventuality, you can rest there. Excuse me I have business to attend to.” He walks out of the room.

I turn to face Sade “I was caught in the rips at the gate, do you know what happened?”

“The Ogboni are trying to keep it hush hush but some at work suspect it was sabotage, maybe a terrorist attempt to cripple our transport system.” She hesistates before continuing as if deciding whether to share the information or not. She then uses her ase to command the wind to hide our conversation before adding“Some say it might even be The Aro.”

I sit up at this. The Aro is the fanatical cult that was devoted to the worship of the gods and wanted us to return to the age of worshipping them. They were made up several powerful former retainers of the Orishas who remained faithful and went into hiding after their liege was defeated. They had been a constant thorn in the flesh of the new government and were supposed to be wiped out years ago but a concerted effort by some of the Named Esos and The Kankanfo working to finish them for good with a major attack on their secret base. A battle of epic proportions.

“They are back?” I ask, stunned at the revelation.

“Possibly, still a rumor though.”

“Oh wow, and what of the visions I saw?”

She waves her hand at this “meh nothing to it, points in time where the use of ase as we know it fractured our reality and some alternate dimensions too causing a bleed close to the warren. Not all that important, in fact explorations of those places outside the warren is a whole department at Katunga, side effect of the sabotage.”

“Okay.” I answer but I’m not really sure but let the matter rest.

“I guess I’d be going to meditate inside and regardless that I didn’t want you or anyone else I care about involved in this, it is good to have you here.”

“I love you too, go and rest as for me I have some people to torture. Makinde and Friday especially.”

I chuckle as I make my way to the room Makinde pointed out earlier.

Osaze20091:
Am Following U Bro

I appreciate this.




The world suddenly goes void and the familiar feeling of travel through a gate returned.

The real world soon reappears and I fall violently to the ground, my muscles in spasms and unable to support my body. The strange visions I saw traveling through the tube taking its toll on me,

An attendant rushes to my aid, gently carrying me up from the floor where I lay. She presses a pill into my hand and her voice just barely above a whisper.

“Take this, it would help with what you are experiencing.”

I swallow the pill and try to ask but my mouth refuses to form the words. She notices this and adds

“Don’t bother trying to talk for now, the disorientation from the instability of the gates would be affecting you for a while.” At my look of confusion she continues “All the portals since last night have been unstable, the warren by which they travel has been in flux, something to do with the matrix used to maintain and the current physical resonant frequency that it is operating at. Since the gates run parallel to the time and space continuum some leakage occurred.” I let her voice wash over me as she starts to talk of theory way above my current ability to understand. I feel the headaches subside and I ponder the meaning of the visions.

The shattering of the moon was a well-known story although no-one is actually really sure of the details but an army made of trees? That was just weird. The Golden city was a bit familiar but I could not place where I’d seen or heard about it before and the cry I heard still chilled me to the bones. The Immortal knights battling some creature that could only be of the void. It was even stranger as there has never been a recorded incursion of a creature of void since the Red Dawn and the blue skies was a sign that the incident took place after the Dawn. My thoughts on the incident followed me as the attendant dragged me to a room that seemed to have been repurposed to a medical bay. At my look she stops her rant on the quantum physics of why it happened and says

“It had been happening since a couple of hours ago and there has been a communique about the temporary suspension of travel through the gate but the information has not reached every portal so we still get the odd cases like you just coming in” I nod in understanding. “Once you get yourself sorted out here you will need to speak with an official about what you saw, The Ogboni has stressed a lot of the importance of recording every single person experience.” She says as she notices a man walk into the bay after us, he stands a respectful distance away but it is obvious he is here for me.

I sit on the bed and say a quick thank you to her. The most I could manage in the situation as the disorientation fades. She smiles and leaves me alone.

The man then walks toward me and notepad in hand. He was thin with a severe looking face and a slowly balding head. Marked as a member of the Ogboni by the red sash that adorned his hand. “Would you state your name for the record.”

“Segun Odeolu” I answer, my voice regaining its strength.

“Purpose for travelling to Ijebu-Ode”

“Business” I answer curtly. At this he raises his eyebrows no doubt noting my age and the fact I travelled from a university campus. Thankfully he says nothing about what kind of business I would be having and then asks about what I saw. I answer him as best as I could but several times he would stop me and ask me to repeat something again or ask a couple of unusual questions.

The interview took the better part of an hour and afterwards I got the feeling that he disappointed he was a bit disappointed. He tells me I’ve nothing new to add, that all I have told him others have seen the exact same thing.

I take my leave and soon find my way out of the Travel Tower which as significantly larger than the one on campus. This one serves a major hub of transportation for a major city and its size reflected that fact, it occupied the better part of a five storey building. It was one the largest concentration of gates in the country, only dwarfed by the one in the Capital, Lagos and maybe Ashanti.

I had arrived on the fourth storey so I had to navigate my way down to the lounge on the ground floor. The building was a lot busier than with several officers of Ogboni and doctors. Apparently my travel was far less stressful than most.

I soon see the glass doors that lead to the lounge and push into it, the atmosphere changes. Gone were the hurried gait of almost everyone inside, the purposeful strides and in was the expectant gazes and scared faces of those expecting their loved ones that were still held up by the Ogboni inside. The news comes through from the television

Just breaking in from the World Council Meeting where the new amendment for the accords proposed by the head of the Council, Sir Alfred Beaucourt is being debated. The Grand Templar of the Seraphs, Josiah Eliakim has just stormed out decrying the amendment, calling it an unnecessary evil and nothing more than a naked power grab by the Council Head. He also appealed to all allies to join in his condemnation of what he further describes as an affront to mankind. The Bashorun has yet to take a stand on either side but as close allies with the Seraphs, a lot of pundits are predicting he votes against the amendment. The new bill which was proposed last year adds a new…..

I tune out the news and scan the room for whoever is supposed to pick me up, the letter did not specify. It doesn’t take long before I spot him.

He has changed a lot since the last time I saw him.

Slick black hair that has seen too much of jel. A face that looks like it trying too hard to be distinguished but can’t quite hide the crudeness hidden there. He is a shorter than most men but with his body nobody was going to pick on him. He wore a ridiculous bright red oversized shirt and had an affable grin on his face. Once he spotted me

“Hey Sege, long time.” He voice booms in that deep bass he is so proud of. I smile back and he raises his hands to hug me. I smile and return the hug.

“Yeah Makinde, it has been awhile.”

Makinde was my sister’s boyfriend and used to bribe me to give her notes when I was younger. He was also a bit of a delinquent back then. My favorite memory of him was when my brothers decided to give him a warning about going out with our sister. We were all younger than him and more importantly smaller has he had always been growing wide instead of high but we were training to become Ologun and he was just a civilian. It was the first time I saw a man wet himself out of fear. I later cut him down from where we strung him out of pity and since then we’ve been friends.

It was him my sister linked me up with when I began my initial foray into the criminal underground. The young delinquent of then had grown into something of a crime boss in Ijebu Ode and it was him that finally got me the gig that would take me into Irunmale.

“Where is your load?”

“Came with only my bag.” I shrug. He looks at me skeptically

“Look I can always get a change of clothes from you besides I don’t need too much load bugging me down when we head inside.”
He raises his hand. “Good enough for me. Let’s go.”

I follow him and we fall into old patterns, discussing things of no consequence, carefully staying away from what brought me here. It would be foolish.

We behave like this till we reach his home which is basically the upper floor of a club.

As it was still early morning the place was empty, well except for some overly drunk folks that the attendants haven’t time to carry out and some dead man walking regulars that were already around drinking. Broken glass bottles strewn across the floors and I saw something that appeared to be blood on one of the stools.

“You still haven’t changed.” I tell him as I carefully pick my way across the club to the staircase that led to where we would be having our meeting.

"You don’t add more salt to a cooked stew.” He retorts. “Friday, get over here you lazy sack of bones. How come this place is still like this?

Didn’t I tell you to call the girls to clean it up.” He voice rising in pitch as he points his hand to a shriveled looking person currently cleaning the bar.

“Well..Well…sir, you see, the thing is…you see.” The Friday answers, the sound of his voice carrying over the fear he felt and it looked like tears where about to drop from his eyes.

“Oh stop your whining. Look, come here. Take this.” Makinde replies sounding exasperated as the hands out a wad of bills to him.

The Friday snivels as the walks, his gait oozing fear as he closed the distance. He grabs the money and darts back to the bar where he was working. Makinde turns and walk up the stairs and as I was about to do the same I catch a knowing smile on the face of Friday.

When we get upstairs.“You know your guy is playing you right?” I tell Makinde.

The room he leads me looks a conference room, complete with the round table and chairs designed for sleeping in.

“Nah, he is just like that, the guy is scared of his own shadow.” He says waving his hand in a careless motion then plomps himself on a chair.

I look at him and wonder how such a self-professed master criminal would be so oblivious to what is going on under his nose. I decide not to bother myself about it, one of my smartest decisions.

I take my seat. “So when are we starting the planning.”

“Don’t bother yourself yet. Try to get some rest in one of the rooms, will call you when the others arrive.” He points at one of the doors at the back of the room.

I nod and start to make my way in that direction when my phone chimes with a ringtone I had hoped not to hear for a long long time.

I stood at the edge of the world, watching the end of all things.
I laughed "it is good to be a god.'

Oh I've read it. Still hate Regal. Working up the strength to read the second and third trilogy.

The books and moments I've mentioned are those that made me feel something for them while reading. I think the book that had me a bit depressed was Bridge to Terabithia. The first truly tragic novel I've read and it didn't have the decency to be tragic in a fulfilling way. The girl just dies a pointless death at the end and that is that. Just like real life.


Remembering other books that struck me.
Another moving book was The Shack. not so much sad since the tragedy happens fairly early but dealing with the fallout and the climax with the guy having the strength to truly forgive his daughter's killer.

Chronicles of Narnia. Didn't strike me as I read it. It was when I was reading a fanfiction of what happens to Susan that the tragedy of Susan missing out of Narnia feels profound.

SIRcumalot:

The only book that really affected me is the Kite runner by khaled Hosseni great book by a fine writer.
I hope to never read another book that makes me feel that way again.

Try The Mountain Echoed by the same writer. In some ways I prefer that to Kite Runner.

How were you not affected during this moments?
The wipeout of the Bridgeburners during the last battle against the Pannion Domin. When Strings came back and Fiddler didn't want to be near him because he had already mourned him. When Tavore finally broke down in her brother's hand at the end, When Beak died.
Felisin was a sad story from the beginning of her life in the story to the end, moments like when she found out Ganoes is still alive or when she refuses to let Heboric go because she doesn't want to be alone always get to me. Don't forget Baudin, a man sacrified to save disgusting person and yet keeps to his duty.

The chain of Dogs is undoubtedly one of the strongest emotional moment in fantasy books.

"Very well, permit me, if you will, on this night. To break your hearts once more. This is the story of the Chain of Dogs. Of Coltaine of the Crow Clan.."
- Duiker

Steven Erikson knows how to put out the hurt.



Another book would be Dresden Files. This is a fun series but in Changes when Dresden has to kill his ex to save their child, or when he found out what he put Molly through. Also when he finally talked with his daughter in Skin Game.

“I don’t think I’ll be going to class today.”

“Another Job? Thought you just completed one last night? You don’t usually get them this close to each other.” His face showed a bit of confusion. He knew of my job

“Yeah, but this is not just a job, it is The job, what I’ve been working towards since I got into this business.” I answered as I opened my closet.
I shifted my clothes to a side, put my hands wall and commanded the false wall to open, it melted away like water revealing an extra cupboard that shouldn’t be possible filled with all sorts of weapons.

My Mesh shirt there as perhaps my most prized possession there, hanging on the far most wall. Built with the same compound the Orishas used to build their armor and inscribed with some of the best runic protections developed at Katunga. It looked a bit like steel but was extremely light and flexible when worn and It would protect me from all attacks except perhaps the highest godly commands and nobody with that kind of power has any reason to pay any attention to me. Best of all were it innate stealth properties allowing for easier commands that it blend with its surroundings. A gift my mother called it when she gave me after the initiation incident but more likely a curse. It is was too good to turn down so I use it and when the consequences come back to haunt me well we’ll see.

A standard hunter pistol, modeled after the ancient smith and Wesson design, a compound bow, night vision goggles, rings, ropes, knives all imbued with various enchantments, some by my own design and others bought or stolen. It represented my entire arsenal for my thieving career. I started getting dressed, the beads and rings.

“Oh wow, so you are really going to do it.” Michael asked, his voice filled with a bit of awe.

“Yeah, what did I ever do to make you think I was less than serious about it.” I asked as I continued getting ready. I wore the mesh shirt, I checked myself to make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything. I moved to packing the rest into my bag, the bows and weapons I couldn’t hide on my person and where maybe a bit illegal.

“I know but….its Irunmale. Are you sure it is worth it?” He says as he stepped behind me to put a hand on my shoulder. It was reassuring. Michael was a good friend and there are only a few secrets of mine he didn’t know but my course is set.

“I have no choice. You know why I must do this. It is the only shot I have.”

“I know” the sound of his voice wrapped in so much pity, it is choking.

I force a smile to my face “It is not like I’m going to Langbodo or Isalu Orun, it is just Irunmale. The Olode patrol there, thieves regularly enter there.”

“Yeah and maybe one of five make it back alive. Even the hunters who are fully trained not rejects like you still get killed there. The treasure you are searching for is not worth your life.”

We’ve had this same tired argument over and over again and we would never agree.

A silence heavy with history fills the air.

“Would you cover for me?” I wear a sweatshirt to cover up the weapons I have on me. It won’t do to go around on campus carrying weapons.

“You know I would.” He says. He tried to smile, but it falls short, only a grimace shows.

I try to reassure him. “Don’t worry I’ll be back soon enough.”

The silence that follows showed neither of us really believed that.




Imodoye University was expansive. Originally constructed by Orunmila to serve as his temple. It has since the end of The Divine Wars been converted to a institution, fitting in an ironic way since Orunmila was the god of wisdom and was said to have greatly encouraged pursuit of knowledge during his reign.

Built by an Orisha, the scale of everything in it was divine. The size of a small city it is ringed by a massive pristine white wall made of glasslike beads that can only be found in Langbodo, former home of the Orishas. The wall can be blinding when stared at for too long at any time of the day, this is attributed to the layers of chants spelled on it during its construction. Orunmila was said to be very paranoid which was a bit ironic considering it was his high priests that betrayed him. However the Orisha also had a sense for beauty. The city inside was beautifully and accurately constructed, the roads are well marked and every building there properly delineated.

The Major feature of the school apart from the wall was the towers. Five towers in all, four at the edges of the city and one in the exact center of the school. All of which rose to the sky like the tower of babel with the center one easily twice in size and height as the rest.
The North tower was made to be the male residential quarter. So it would take a thirty minutes trek to the center tower where the travel gates were. The trek was relatively quiet, I wasn’t in a hurry and it was period where if you had a class you were already late and would rather pay to use the short-range transporters to the tower so only a few people could be found on the road. The walls refracted the morning light in such colors that made the morning especially fine.

I get to the centre tower which also serves also serves as the administrative building of the school I soon find my way to the gate room. It provided the school access to the portal network that provided rapid transport across the country and even some international locations. It is another very useful feature leftover by the Orishas during their reign.

It was invented by Ogun to allow the Orishas instantaneous travel across their budding empire. It is one of the most powerful pieces of enchantment created as it fundamentally breaks the laws governing mankind irreparably. As almost all things built by Orishas it was meant only for the orishas, the power flowing through the portals would very easily tear a man to pieces or just lose the person in limbo. Thankfully after the Red Night, enchanters managed to create a loop that stabilizes it enough for human travel so now it serves as a very fancy transportation system. Despite its versatility and speed, most people are still leery of it because no one is sure when the protective enchantments will fail, this means it is not a very popular means of transit.

I soon enter the building and make my way down to the Portal room 4 with thoughts of the fates of past travels on my mind and there I meet the late night shift, an old woman would rather be anywhere else than here. The room would be the only one working this early in the morning.

The chamber is circular with the portal on a raised platform in the middle. There is a desk off to a side with an attendant that looked like life has been sucked out of her.

“Present your papers.” She said as soon as she saw me. Her voice sounded exactly like she looked

“No papers, Emergency trip.” I reply and head to the table.

“That would cost extra.”

I was prepared for that and pay the extra charge with no fuss.

“Single trip to Ijebu-Ode.”

She nodded and listlessly recite the standard precautions, then directs me to the chamber.

I enter and the glass door lock me in and the pressure in there starts to build, I can see the air in front of me tearing as the portal opened all around me.

I am nowhere

I am everywhere

Tick-tock

I see everything, I understand it all. The whole cosmos is laid bare, the stars sing for me and the moon dances

Tick-tock

I am suddenly on the moon, the atmosphere there cold. Is there supposed to be air here? I see a forest marching to war, I see the moon shattering. A woman is laughing…..

Tick-tock

I am suddenly in a city of golden skyscrapers and flying men. Red lights descend from the sky destroying it all in symphony of songs and music. I
then hear a child crying. The cry piercing my skull, I try to look…

Tick-tock

I see three men in armor like the medieval days of the ancient age, but theirs look sleeker. The Immortal Knights? They are battling a being so large it dwarfs the some of mountains that surround them, with eight arms and two heads. It roars and one of the knights simply explode. Another turns and sees me, his eyes widening….

Tick-tock

I see a man flying, he wears a thin tight suit with a symbol of a circle with a dot in the center. He has the same sign on his forehead that glows yellow. Behind him, thousands of others wearing the same attire fly with him. The fly towards a realmatic hole in the sky. It doesn’t look like any realmatic hole I’ve seen, it is deeper, more. The man looks at me and smiles…..

Tick-tock

I stand beside a man. Grey hair, old but not weak, muscled. He looked very distinguished in the white robe he wore. He holds a sword that is pure white. A blue rock is affixed to the pummel. We watch the end of all things together.

He looks at me and says. “Well Sh*t.”

Khalid Hosseni - And The Mountain Echoed. This guy writes really great family novels and can tug at your emotions like no one else. This and The Kite Runner are examples of emotional novels.

In Fantasy, Malazan Book of The Fallen series. It takes a while to get going, you might need to struggle through the first book but after that the hits keep coming. Epic and emotional scenes without it feeling cheesy.

Perks of Being a Wallflower - The twist at the end was just damn sad.

The Little Prince - This is an all round awesome book. Just read. The conversation with Mr Fox and the end are just the best. Brings the best kinds of emotions and is one of those books that after reading you just put down to think about what you've read.

The Martian - Celebration of Humanity persistence and innovation. It is truly a ride and an emotional finish.

Worm - A web serial, perhaps the best web serial ever written. Also easily the longest at more than 1.5 million words, the climaxes are as emotional and fulfilling. Can be considered a bit dark but damn if it wasn't a great ride and the ending was very satisfying.

After some RL issues that forced me to leave the story for a while I couldn't muster the will to continue forward with it. I decided instead of abandoning to rewrite it and using Nanowrimo as a springboard I'll be rewriting the story here https://www.nairaland.com/2708502/ode-yoruba-urban-fantasy-rewrite#39617690. Hopefully I'll be able to write the 50,000 words target by the end of the month.

CHAPTER 1

Ode: Meaning 1. A Hunter
2. A fool
3. Outside

The forest was suddenly quiet.

An ominous sound if there was ever one. Only the heavy labors of my breathing filled my ears, the crackling of the dead leaves beneath my feet no longer register. The mosquitoes and crickets have long ceased their symphonies, fleeing from the stench of death that surround me. The birds have long stopped singing and like a pregnant woman about the deliver, the whole forest is caught up in that moment of anticipation, holding its breath as the winds stop rustling the leaves.

I continue to run with everything I have left inside me, I’ve long since lost my sense of direction. My vision reduced to only shadows as the rain continue to pour down in an effort to drown me. I can barely make out the massive trees that block my path. I turn left brushing past the gnarled undergrowth that reaches trap me as the forest itself bends to the will of my pursuer.

My body is about to fail yet I can’t stop, must not stop, blood from my head intermingling with sweat streak down to my eyes further blinding me but I press on, my hands feel like lead but I must go on for in the end to die running is a far better fate.

A sudden cry from behind me breaks the spell of silence. It is a cry of desperation, of getting caught, a cry of death. Another one of us has been caught. I double my speed but I already it is too late. The cry was too close to me and I know I’m next. The assurance that I’m going to die settles on me as despair washes away the last vestiges of hope left inside of me. My body however does not accept this and keeps running.
An instinct warns me as I fall to narrowly dodge a tree thrown at me from behind. I take a look back and I see it and I’m struck with an immense feeling of dread. It is huge, shaped like muscular man but the proportions taken to an inhuman level. Its arms easily the size of tree trunks, its chest fitting or perhaps exceeding the description of a barrel. Wearing a armor of interlocking chains of brass. The face armor constantly changing to show the faces of different animal, it was a snake now that turned its head at me hissing. Its legs covered in a strange dress of palm leaves.

The face of the creature was what that gave evidence that it could not be a human. The face was far larger than any I’ve seen ever. It had sixteen of eyes that rotated round its face in a strange pattern, two of which were swollen shut. Its mouth set in a grotesque simile of a smile. It held a club and a sword in its hands with two more swords in a sheath at its back.

It saw the horror and its smile widened, a tongue darting out as if tasting my fear. It stalked towards where I lay, its steps through the puddles caused by the rain making a faint sound, the only sound I could focus on. It then raised its hand in a casual motion and brought the sword down on my head.

I woke up, startled. My breaths still very heavy and fast. My body matted with sweat, the heat in the room was unbearable. I sit up and rest my back on the wall adjoining my bed. I begin to try to calm, steadying my breaths. I look out the window at the shattered pieces of the moon floating slowly round the core in a clockwise motion. The view has always been soothing for a long time. It takes a few minutes for my hands to stop shaking.

The dreams have become more frequent as the year rolls towards November. The month of that disastrous initiation. The flashbacks to that time I almost died still haunt me till today. I wonder if it will ever stop.

I look away from the window and close my eyes to let it adjust to the dark room. It is small as is the model for everything on campus. With two beds, a cupboard built into the wall, an adjoining bathroom and a window facing out into the vast fields that are the edge of the school. The room is one of the better accommodations on campus or at least one with the best view.

I reach for the cabinet beside me and take out my pills. I quickly swallow them then as my eyes adjust to the dark room I see my roommate is still sleeping.

I climb out the window and utter a command to the air for it lift me up to the top of the building. I slowly float upwards and soon arrive at the top. I sit on the ledge, resting my back on the wall with my legs dangling off in the open just above my room window. A great advantage of staying on the top floor is this, the easy access to the top of the roof.

This is where I stay till morning, reminiscing on past failures and all things that has been lost.

I am Segun Odeolu, a disappointment to my father, an idiot to my former peers, a criminal, an Oath-breaker and a failure of an Ode.



I stay there till morning, dozing off after a while. I am woken up again. This time by my roommate whose voice is just a few decibels short of a loudspeaker.

“Hey you sleeping fool, get down here or do you want to miss your test again?” his almost screams probably waking everyone on our floor.

I look down at him and see his head popping out the window. The ridiculous afro he insists on keeping looking particularly frazzled this early morning.

I decide that last night was enough of angst and decide to face the day with the energy it deserves.

“And will it kill you to lock the window when you decide to go off to the try and kill yourself. Ehn?” he continues his rant.

I tune him off as I whisper to the wind to bear my down. I jump off the roof and i’m caught by the wind. It is by far my favorite element to command and is particularly easy on the campus. Imodoye University is one of the places in the country where ase is exercised the highest. The campus formerly a palace for Obatala is now one of if not the foremost institution in the world for the understanding of ase. This makes the elements and physics of the place particularly malleable to command and direct.

I balance in front of him outside borne on nothing but air and direct it to hit him. It knocks him a little back into the room and I enter laughing at him.

He is lanky, a mixture of tall and thin. His complexion light. His has one of those faces that you see and think to yourself that this is a smart person. His blue afro hair just makes him look very ridiculous but he has been a good friend ever since I got here even back in the beginning when I wasn't feeling particularly friendly.

“Bloody showoff, you own is way too much. Yes we know you have ase over the wind but must you always show it.” he mutters as he turns back towards his bed.

“Well if you have it, you flaunt it. Isn’t that what your girlfriend says.” I retort as I head towards the bathroom door.

“She is not my girlfriend. That doesn’t even apply here, it is only when what you have is attractive.” He answers me.

“Well you wish she was and you wish you could do what I do so you are wrong on both points.”

“Haa, what part of friends don’t you understand. It’s like saying you wish Sade was yours.”

“What?? Michael, you must be out of your mind. Sade is a friend from the old days, we are practically family. It is nowhere like what you have with Bisi with you constantly mooning over her.” I reply from the bathroom where I turn on the shower and let the cold water wash over me. I smile as I wait for his outburst. I am not disappointed.

“I do not moon.” He shouts out and again I’m sure everyone on the floor can hear his voice.

“Can you say that any louder I don’t think the entire school heard that?” I say egging him on.

“Go jump off a window. You keep using the old days as an excuse for Sade, well your old days as Ode in training were over a long time ago and yet you two still find ways to be together. “He says and I imagine a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

“As usual you are stupid. She is absolutely crazy, you can’t pay me to go near that. It is because you don’t know her you can think like this. And don’t change the topic, its Bisi we are talking about and when you are going to ask her.” I reply as the water heats up and the bath becomes enjoyable.

“Meh. Keep deceiving yourself with that nonsense and stop your useless insinuation. Also be fast, class won’t wait forever and Prof is said to be in a particularly nasty mood today.”

I was brushing my teeth so I could not reply.

I step out of the shower with a towel wrapped round my waist as the water quickly dries off my body.

Michael was ready to leave, his bag slung across his back. He takes one look at me before saying

“We get you are good with ase and was trained but could you stop showing off.” His face a bit annoyed.

I laugh at him. “You would do the same if you could too.” I move to get dressed.

“Take” he says handing me a letter. “Came for you last night. Was asleep before you came in.”

I open it my hands trembling with excitement and take a minute to scan it. My eyes lighting up as I go through it. A smile coming unbidden to my face.

“Is it what you were expecting?” Michael asks.

Yes, Finally the plan can move forward.

For my Nanowrimo challenge. I'll be rewriting a story I posted earlier this year. I could not complete it and it has undergone several changes since then that it is almost a different story. The link to the original is posted here https://www.nairaland.com/2235958/ode-yoruba-urban-fantasy

Hopefully for the period of this month I'll be able to write the 50,000 word target required to complete the challenge by the end of the month.

As usual, all copyright is reserved. You can inform me before posting the story anywhere.
email: itndolufowobi@gmail.com

Summary: The Red Night is over. Humanity now wield the powers of the gods they have imprisoned. Political maneuvering and schemes are the order for the day as the new great powers that emerged from the ashes of the Divine War scramble for dominance. Tensions mount as the world inexorably moves towards a world war that would destroy everything humans had fought to protect. Meanwhile behind the scenes the gods are stirring.
Segun a former apprentice hunter and now struggling criminal trying to atone for his mistake is caught in the middle of plans and he finds that to be a very dangerous place to be.

NANOWRIMO means National Novel Writing Month. It is an internet based creative writing project where writers and aspiring writers from all around the globe challenge themselves to writing a full novel of not less than 50,000 words in the 30 days of the month of November.

The goal of NaNoWriMo is to get people writing and keep them motivated throughout the process. The website provides participants with tips for writer's block, local places writers participating in NaNoWriMo are meeting, and an online community of support. The idea is to focus on completion instead of perfection. NaNoWriMo focuses on the length of a work rather than the quality, encouraging writers to finish their first draft so that it can later be edited at the author's discretion. NaNoWriMo's main goal is to encourage creativity worldwide.

If you wish to participate you can register on their website here http://nanowrimo.org/how-it-works. I'd like to invite all writers in this section to take part. So guys anyone up for the challenge?

Also i stumbled across this writers resource and it has been of great help to me.
http://fuckyeahcharacterdevelopment.tumblr.com/post/43702374352/dfdwritingworkshop-writers-club-ultimate

Personally, I'd settle for the Interesting stories that already very long or even short ones that are complete.

Personally, I'd settle for the Interesting stories that already very long.

I've always been a sucker for fantasy stories and for that alone I'd be following this story. Your imagination, the air of mystery is great and best of all quite different from most of what I've read so that is a plus. I have just one criticism. For the first chapter there was a lot of telling and infodumps compared to showing. For example the scene in the cave would have been better served if it focused on the present circumstances with little hints has to how he got there.

On another note, seeing your story has filled me with enough guilt at abandoning mine so I'm starting that story again. Thanks.

I've always been a sucker for fantasy stories and for that alone I'd be following this story. Your imagination, the air of mystery is great and best of all quite different from most of what I've read so that is a plus. I have just one criticism. For the first chapter there was a lot of telling and infodumps compared to showing. For example the scene in the cave would have been better served if it focused on the present circumstances with little hints has to how he got there.

On another note, seeing your story has filled me with enough guilt at abandoning mine so I'm starting that story again. Thanks