mntpaul:

LD's are very hard. I am in one and we are making it. It takes a huge commitment, it is the greatest emotional and spiritual commitment that I have ever had. I konw if we survive this we can survive anything. I think it is well worth it if your looking for a life mate. One thing I like about it is that in our letters and phone conversations, your more free to express how you really feel, because it seems that social barriers are let go. So LD allows for more openness, so you can really let the person know how you feel about things. Seems to be less reservations. I believe it also builds a better foundation for a relationship. I believe, if you guys make it your will be strong.

One of the greatest values I learned of LD is you learn not take the simple things for granted. For me even to hold my partners hand or a kiss has great relevance. LD tempers the heart. We both have learned how to really appreciate the other. We are not in an open relationship. We are committed. Sometimes I think how easy it would be to walk away. But my partner's strength and commitment feeds you and your strong again. We have invested a lot of energy into our relationship. It is well worth it and is greater value than anything in the world. When things get tough, we return to our relationship to draw on its strength. Sometimes you have to fight for you relationship. Like some post here are discouraging or worldly. But love is beyond the grasp of the world, so find the strength to live beyond worldly worries or fears. Eventually, you will discover the whole world will revolve around your relationship. Just think about it, think about how society and the world is set up. Everything is made more for pairs. You will begin to see life as it accommodates the two of you. So I am cheering for you. If you and your partner believe, I will believe also. Assume you will make it and it will happen.


Good luck

You couldn't have spoken any better than this. And I can't agree more with you because I share the same shoes with you. Best wishes to you in your relationship.

@poster
I will say that it really depends on how much you believe in the man you are dating. If you are convinced deep down that he is your soul mate and the relationship will lead to a lasting and fulfilling marriage, and you are convinced that he believes the same, then definitely you have to stick with it, no matter how hard. Before I got married 4 yrs ago, I dated my wife long distance for almost 4 yrs. We were dating 2 yrs before I left for the US. I lived in the US, she lived in Nigeria. We saw each other once a year, but we spoke everyday on the phone. After we got married, things didn't move as quickly as we wanted in immigrating her to the US, so I returned to Nigeria to look for work. We spent 2 and 1\2 yrs in Nigeria on very minimal income before I returned to the US early this year. To be honest until today, I have never for once regretted going through that period of long distance relationship. And by the way, my wife is still not here with me yet in the US. She should get her papers early next year, which means we are going through a long distance marriage right now! We are both convinced deep down that we would not be this happy with someone else. She's been living in the same house as my parents for 8 months now, and my parents see her as a daughter and the best thing to happen to our family in a long time. In addition, we have a beautiful son that is almost 2 yrs old.

So my advice to you is this, if you are convinced that there is a bright future in a marriage, then go for it. What is 5 yrs of sacrifice for 35 yrs or more of fulfilment in marriage, instead of ending up with someone you are not meant for. It's better to never be married at all than to end up in the wrong marriage. From your posts, it sounds to me that you don't believe in the relationship you're in, neither do you trust your fiancee. Your posts show that you need some validation of your reasons to end the relationship. So go for it! Don't put yourself under unnecessary torture for a relationship that has no future. Find someone that you are truly meant for. Best wishes.

nethacker:

Nemesis will CAUGHT up or catch up with them
The True Nigerian Student

Thanks Nethacker, that's exactly my point with regards to the Nigerian Student.

All you students on this forum clamouring for the striking lecturers to go back to work so you can resume classes -- why are you so desparate return to class? What are you all learning? The whole system is broken. Majority of lecturers are half-baked or even worse. They are all products of the system. Isn't it Yar'Adua that promised reform to the education sector, as part of his seven-point agenda? If he really means what he promised, here is an opportunity to fulfill one of his promises and do something about the broken educational sector.

It should be more that just increasing lecturers' salaries. The government should sincerely show that they want development for real for this country by encouraging academic research, funding the universities, eradicating corruption and incompetence in the schools, ensuring that there is adequate power supply in these learning centers by doing something about the power sector, the list goes on and on.

It seems to me that the students in this forum don't care about the quality of education they get. They just want to go back to school and get their "papers", graduate and go look for work. Why not just go have the certificates forged if they are in so much hurry. After all, there are many people that do it and get away with it.

This country is seriously broken, and sacrifices have to be made to fix it -- by the federal government, lecturers and students alike. I support the fight of ASUU! You students, support them and add voice to their struggle.

It's a shame that still, in this day and age in Nigeria, you have to bribe to get a passport or driver's license. I wonder why eradicating corruption in federal establishments is not yet one of the priorities of our leaders.