₦airaland Forum

seguun: Which of the candidates do you think are sellable in the southwest?. Don't forget the yorubas will be angry with tinubu for selling out the ACN to please the north. I tell you the merger will fail in the southwest if a yoruba man is not either the presidential or vice presidential candidate.

ode ni e u nothing about politics yet ranting about on NL.will the vote of SW be enough to win against GEJ

3kay945: All in the name of starting a thread and hitting the front page, you pasted this thrash here and slandering them. If you don't have work why not read up amazing stuffs on Google.

This post never reach the front page

Amazing Angel: Hi guys,am new here,i applied to funaab to study computer science buh choice dem as second choice.wat are my chances?

u must at least have a composite score of 50%

Funaab rated second best uni in nigeria

This is a warning to all those people
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who don't SMOKE or DRINK...
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.One day all ur friends will die and u will be left alone!!!!!

Recycle ur football shirt

[quote author=Ile-Ife]gator or gatorless[/quote]guy u harsh ooooo

Only brainless people and tribalist bigot thinks so

^^^^^ there are many alevel programs we have ICAN, WJEC, CIE, IJMB. I did CIE (cambridge a level) for just 10 month at the end of d program there will be an exam (the results are in points). After dis exam then apply for Direct entry (DE) admission

^^^^ please u don't need to stay at home. Go for A level program and enter in 200 level

Pls don't give sit down at home apart from JAMB there are other way to enter a university. Go for some useful programs like SAT, a level, gre. It would prefer u going for cambridge a level cos u would have the chance to enter into 200 level

GEJ brain upgraded

It seems the Igbos are more tribalistic than the Yoruba. Why not vote for individual and stop talking about ACN

^^^^ Ui is still d best. Unilorin is full of Saddist

No light in ibadan since dec 23 and to make the matter worse there is fuel scarcity around too.

UNIVERSITY OF IBADAN

Basket mouth, gordons, I go dye

:p

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So tasty

LETTER TO BILL GATE, FROM AKPORS

Letter to Mr Bill Gates 4rm Mr.Akpors.

TO: Bill Gates Microsoft

From: Akpors

Subject: Problems with my new computer.

Dear Mr Bill Gates,
we have bought a computer 4 our home and we have found some problems, which i want to bring to ur notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request u 2 check dis.

2. One doubt is whether any 'rescooter' is available in system? I find only 'recycle but i own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'find' button but it is not working. My wife lost the door key and we've tried alot to trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Pls rectify dis problem

4. My child learnt 'MICROSOFT WORD' now he wants to learn 'MICROSOFT SENTENCE', so when wil u provide dat?

5. There's MICROSOFT OFFICE, wat abt MICROSOFT HOME since i use d pc at home.

6. I bought computer, cpu, mouse & keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows ' My Computer', when wil u provide d remaining items?

Last one Mr. Bill Gates
P.S 'Sir, how is it dat ur name is Gates but u r selling WINDOWS?

Regards,
Akpors!

Dear Roman,do you mean UCL & FA CUP doesnt MATA at all.Do you expect RDM to win an OSCAR award or what?It might seem good to you but seriously it will be a HAZARD for the team in future.Remember it took patience for MOSES to lead his people to glory.If you CECH it well,you should know that a team can't go without LUIZing a match.Even CESAR lost battles,is the stamford bridge a STURRIDGE device where they keep sacking coaches?at least you could have given him some PEP talk.Roman,you TERRY-fy me.Trust me the MARIN workers cannot even understand this.To be very FRANK your decisions are so HILARIO-us.With so many posts on chelsea fan pages about their disliking on sacking RDM,my computer got hanged and had TORRES-tart my computer.

>Footballers as student..:
-Messi: i topped the exam..
-Iniesta & Xavi: we passed (and
pass the answer to Loinel Messi)
Ronaldo: I finished the paper the
fastest, and I finished 2nd.
Robben: Shit i didn't pass.
-Pepe: The examiner didn't give
me
marks so i kicked his ass and I
passed.
-Balotelli: I failed, why always me?
-Terry: I walk out of the exams,
they told me to use a black pen
only.
Best ones
-Ramsey: The examiner died after
reading my answers.
Dzeko: i came late but pass the
exams.
Ferguson: i paid the examiner,
and passed.

What's the Mata Chelsea fans?
Did you Cech the score?
I know, it is a Hazard.
You must be Terryfied now!
Juve's performance deserves an oscar!
Cant believe you're Luizing ?

The Lord is our Banner. He wants us to stay under his banner-to trust in him and his plan for our lives, to depend on him and trust him as our source of strength, as our protection. But so often we either get in an "I can do it myself" mode or determine that "I want to do it my way." When we do this, we step out from under God's banner of protection. Just as the Israelites began to experience failure every time Moses' arms dropped, so we will struggle needlessly when we choose to step out from under his banner.

Being under God's banner does not mean we won't have problems-the Israelites still had to fight their battle. But it does mean that we don't have to face things alone-and that God will work all things together for good and bring ultimate victory.

Consider this ...


Is there some area in your life that you have determined you want to handle by yourself-and do it your way? Perhaps you don't think that God cares about or completely understands your struggle. Or maybe you are determined to do it your way, even knowing that your way does not line up with God's plan.

The truth is ... God does care. He does understand. And his way, even if our desires conflict, is always the best way. Step back under his banner of love and protection. Submit to his plan. Let him help you. You will be glad you did.

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Up Chelsea

And this is how important a PEN is;

Lost your pen=no pen
No pen=no notes
No notes=no study
No
study=Fail
Fail=no diploma
No diploma=no work
No work=no money
no money=no food
No food=you get skinny
You get skinny=then you
get ugly
Ugly=no love
No Love=no marriage
No marriage=no children
No children= alone
Alone=depressio
Depression=sickness
Sickness=death

Lesson: Don’t lose your pen, you will die!

John : "Your new secretary is very sexy....."

Timmy : "Thanks! She's actually a robot, named Doreen......
If you squeeze her right b.reast, she takes dictation & If you squeeze her left b.reast, she types letters. Will work as long as you like,
No complaining,
No sick days,
No medical,
No dental...
I'll lend her to you for a day & you can see how functional and efficient she is".

Next day,
Timmy called John from the hospital & shouted :

"John….... You bastard! You didn't tell me that the hole between Doreen's legs is a Pencil Sharpener..."

Ope ooo. balanced equation

PDP is forcing, supereagles are
trying, Fashola is wondering, Boko
haram is bombing, PHCN is
threatening, Buildings are
collapsing, Goodluck jonathan is
enjoying, Cost of fuel is rising, Prices
are flying, People are suffering, FGN
is disappointing, People are talking,
Teachers are crying, Airplanes are
crashing, companies are closing,
Politicians are lying, Policemen are
collecting, EFCC is arresting,
Facebook is boring, Whatsapp is
dulling, Elections arecoming and
here I am rhyming & you're reading,
I can see you smiling. Isn't Nigeria
interesting??

If ur dream don't scare u dey are nt big enough