₦airaland Forum

B- Black
A- American
R- Real
A- African
C- Completely
K- Kenyan

O- Original
B- Black
A- American
M- Managing
A- America

CONGRAT TO THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT ON HIS RE-ELECTION INTO OFFICE

Offa (Yoruba)

President Goodluck Jonathan yesterday lambasted the country's elite, saying they are the problems of Nigeria.

Mr Jonathan stated this at the palace of the Emir of Hadejia and Chairman Jigawa state Traditional Council, Alhaji Adamu Ababakar Maje, when he paid the royal father a courtesy call.

The President who is on a two-day official visit to Jigawa state was treated to a grand Durbar after he landed in an helicopter at the Hadejia township stadium.

He said, "I am grateful for the reception given to me right from the stadium up to the grand Durbar that was organized for me. Jigawa is my second home after Bayelsa. I was well-received by Jigawa people during my campaign and I promised to be back.

The level of people that turned out to welcome me today shows that we are one in Nigeria and we love each other. It is the elites that are causing the problems in the country using poor peoples' children to fight while their own children are protected.

Jigawa has been relatively peaceful and I thank the Governor for his effort in maintaining peace in the state. I thank the Emir for the honor and reception"

He said his transformation agenda was on course, adding that improved power supply and issues of peace and security were his priority.

In his speech, Jigawa State Governor Sule Lamido expressed delight and appreciation to Mr Jonathan, noting that he was the first President to have visited Hadejia Emirate.

Lamido assured the number one citizen that the Government and people of Jigawa State will stand by him in his bid to improve the lives of Nigerians.

http://www.osundefender.org/?p=57254

If the ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE
would have been a classroom, then:-

ARSENAL-Is a boy who works hard
throughout the year but fails to succeed
because of his greedy rich family that is not
ready to spend on buying books.

MANCHESTER CITY- Is a boy who
purchases all
the expensive books but is never ready to
read them.

LIVERPOOL-Is a child who is very much
proud of the academic achievements of his
grand father.

MANCHESTER UNITED-Is a boy who just
performs in the final exams and tops the
class.

Finaly,
CHELSEA-Is a boy who fails to perform and
puts the blame of failure on his teacher and
then his family finds a new teacher
for him every year!

Stupid question

U lead by example

U so lead by example

Sleeping tinz

POLICE DEY READ BIBLE……??!!

On Lagos-Ibadan express road, when a Pastor met a team of policemen who, quite
naturally, wanted 'something' from him. Since he was not prepared to
play their games, they asked for his papers and having combed through everything
without any offence with which to nail the 'stubborn' pastor, they now
asked him to open the bonnet of his car.

A careful scrutiny of the engine number against what was on paper revealed that
letter 'U' was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter 'V'. That
was all the officer-in-charge needed to shout "stolen vehicle!"

Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no offence, the pastor called the OC to say he was a priest to which the officer replied :"Please, leave that
pastor thing...in any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a
Bible in your car, bring it."

The Pastor did as was commanded after which the officer now ordered:
"Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me".
The incredulous Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read:
"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."

The man of God quietly made an "offering" of "just" N100 to his newly found "preacher".

"End of service go in peace and argue no more", said the OC.

According to the book of Enoch. Satan rebel after man was created. Because of Pride and the angels will now serve a less superior being (man).

I strong believe its babylonian pagan worship

Does it make sense?

- PASTOR EAZY: Do something crazy for the lord..

Akpors carried the offering basket and ran away

- TEACHER: Akpors Wat are the two things u wish for in Life?

AKPORS: a Bank that will give me a Loan & then Leave me Alone

- Doctor Osas: Do exercise daily 4 gud health?

Akpors: Sir i play football, tennis daily.

Doctor Osas: hw long do u play?

Akpors: until d battery in my mobile goes down

- Yesterday D police arrested me for tampering wit the ATM.

Kelveen: Wat did u do wrong?

Akpors: It asked me to enter the PIN and I inserted a safety pin.

If United have won the game, their fans would brag: 'Our reserve team has beaten your first team.'
Now that Chelsea have won the game, United fans are now saying: 'We're just using our reserve team.'
How ironic.

Reserve team?
Almost half of their squad consist of frequent starters in the EPL.
Welbeck, Hernandez, Rafael, Nani and Giggs.
And they said the team are all youngsters.
They forgot about Giggs and Fletcher.

They said the Carling Cup is just a mickey mouse cup and winning it is not important.
A cup is still a cup.
United is the only team which is taking part in the Carling Cup and not wanting to win it. LOL

United fans blamed the referee for giving Chelsea 2 penalties.
As a matter of fact, Chelsea won both penalties fairly.
Moses and Ramires were brought down harshly.
Don't forget about the handcall which the referee didn't notice.
It could have been 3 penalties.

Javier ' Offside' Hernandez said after beating Chelsea last week: 'We don't care. We win. That's the only thing on my mind.'
Haha...it doesn't matter if we have beaten their so called 'reserve team'.
We advanced to the quarter-final, they don't.
Losing 2-3, we're not eliminated from the EPL.
Losing 4-5, they are eliminated from League Cup.
I hope Arsenal will thrash United this week like they did in Reading.

Winning in style and losing with pride.
That's Chelsea's way of playing.
United fans will only brag no matter they win or lose.
Am proud of Chelsea!

pls I need the answer urgently. Is it amorphous solid or super heated liquid

John 8:10 When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, "Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?" 11 She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more."

Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.

Romans 8:33 Who shall bring a charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.

Revelation 12:10 Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, "Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down. NKJV – all passages

There are two extremes in the church when it comes to dealing with the sins of members. One is the legalistic approach that judges everyone by their actions, and condemns all who fall short of perfection. The other denies the reality of sin, refuses to talk about Hell, and denies divine judgment. Neither one conforms to the truth of Scripture, but it is the former we will look at here, for this is a prime tactic of the devil.

Understand that I am not saying that we should never be made aware of sin in our lives. Rebuke in love that leads to repentance is the Biblical standard. What we will consider here is condemnation, criticism meant to inflict shame, guilt and hurt.

The word “satan” means accuser, or adversary, and that's one of the chief roles the devil fills (I deliberately do not use capital letters for his name). Not only does he accuse us before God, he accuses us personally, and through the mouths of others. Whenever we hear terms like “worthless” or “trash” or “filth” in describing us and our behavior, the spirit behind the words is usually evil. When we hear questions like, “How can you call yourself a Christian when you do this?”, or a statement like“You were never really saved, or you wouldn't act like that”, we can be sure that we're not hearing from God. Yes, God convicts us of sin, but He doesn't use it as a club to beat us over the head.

The Bible is very clear; once we belong to, and are “in”, Yeshua, we no longer face being condemned. God doesn't look at our works any more; He looks at the finished work of Yeshua in our lives. Not only do we not have to accept judgment from satan, we don't have to accept it from other people, either. Many people who wear the label “Christian”, both pastors and lay people, are really wolves in sheep's clothing, wearing a cloak of religion to disguise the foul spirit of legalism inside. Any church or group that bases its faith on “thou shalt not” instead of “thou shalt love” is not worthy of the name of Christ.

Don't get me wrong; love is no excuse for license. Sin is still sin, but our judgment falls on the sin itself, not the person committing it. Yes, the church as a body is charged with judging the sin of its members (1 Corinthians 5:12-13), but with the admonition to forgive and comfort one who repents (2 Corinthians 2:6-. Even judgment by the body has this restriction, as given by Yeshua himself, that the one without sin should “cast the first stone” (John 8:7). Those who have sin in their own lives have no business judging it in others (Matthew 7:1-3).

Don't accept condemnation, either from the devil himself, or from his surrogates. Affirm your status in Yeshua as saved and forgiven, and quote Romans 8:1 often. If you attend a church that has a religious, condemning spirit, leave it, and look for another. It doesn't matter that you've been there for all or most of your life, or that your family lives there; come out from among them (2 Corinthians 6:17). If you have friends who constantly direct these kinds of judgments at you, they aren't really friends. Associate with, have fellowship with, those who walk in the Light. The children of Light should have no fellowship with the children of darkness (2 Corinthians 6:14).

By the same token, don't be one of those guilty of harboring a critical spirit. Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. Salt symbolizes the Holy Spirit; let Him direct your speech, and your thoughts. Refrain from criticizing the behavior of others, to them or to others. Pray for those caught up in sin, and ask for wisdom in witnessing to them, but don't heap condemnation on them.

The fruits of condemnation are guilt and shame. Both of these are ungodly emotions, encouraged by the devil. Guilt says, “I'm not worthy of forgiveness”, even though God in Yeshua has already forgiven us. It is a sin as surely as murder or rape. We should confess it as sin, but not stop there; we should ask the Lord to grant us the grace to release it to Him. We can carry a load of guilt for much of our lives, going all the way back to our childhoods; we need to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal these sometimes-hidden areas to us, so we can be both forgiven and healed.

Shame says, “Because of all the things I've done, I'm the scum of the earth. I am ugly on the inside, and not worthy of being loved”. That runs contrary to God's image of us; He says that we are beautiful, and He loves us enough to die for us. Why would Yeshua die for garbage, that will always be garbage? Like the Shulamite maid describing her lover, to Him we are “altogether lovely” (Song of Solomon 5:16). Yahweh, the Lord, also says “Don't call what I've cleaned, unclean (Acts 10:15). We are washed by the blood of Yeshua, and when we do sin, and confess, He both forgives us and cleanses us (1 John 1:9).

Are we not children of the Most High? If we can answer “yes” we are not condemned, not ever. We should affirm every day our status as forgiven, washed, loved, and worthy. We must rebuke and reject every accusation of the enemy, and always remind him, and those who serve him, that we are already, and always, justified, not guilty, by the blood of the Lamb. Walk in freedom! Refuse the chains!

21 goals in two games. English football is d best

Ramires

OMG Sturidge is a waste

THE LAST STAND. The battle for supremacy. Chelsea all d way

Rumours are spread by Haterz, Spread by fools and accepted by Idi0ts

;DAkpors saw a plane full of
politicians crashed near his farm.
When police came,
they asked Akpors what
happened?
Akpors: they crashed in my farm
and i burried them.
Police: are u sure that they were
all dead?
Akpors: but some of them were
saying, ''we are still alive, but i
didn't believe them one bit. YOU
KNOW POLITICIANS LIE A LOT

THREAD OFFICIALLY CLOSED

Rumours are created by haterz, carried by fools, accepted by Idiots. I don't believe dat former new before

THIS news is fake. My mom still met her in govt house on Thursday. And they have a meeting with her tomorrow, how would she declared tomorrow if she was in London. FAKE NEWS

QUESTIONS (?)
these questions have been compiled hoping someone in the Nollywood will be so kind to supply the answers.
(Add urs)

1.How can a ghost look left & right before crossing the road? ‘Dem dey fear accident?’

2.Why does the TV go off by itself after the ‘breaking news’?

3.Why do all native doctors paint one eye?

4.Why must every advert Start with a loud scream?

5.Why must every juju part be represented by lightening & thunder under the bright sunlight?

6.Why do Nigerian movies always have part one to five?

7.How can Segun Arinze be Ramsey Noah’s dad… Any resemblance?

8.Why will a blind mother say, “I’m happy to see you my son”?

9.Why is Jim Iyke always coming back from America & speaking with a fake British accent?

10.When will Pastor Ajidara stop being a fake pastor?

11.Why is it that the characters die or run mad immediately after deir confessions?

12.Which evil woman washed pant inside soup that Tony Umez ate & became the god of Nollywood imbeciles?

13.Epic Village Movie Set in the 90s still finds Mercy Johnson with Brazilian hair, how come?

14.Hw can N2bn fit into a small Ghana-Must-Go bag?

15.Must all hired assassins be found in uncompleted or abandoned buildings? ‘Na dem papa house?’

16.Why must a film have Part 1,2, 3; Return of The Film 1,2 & 3; The Same Film ‘Reloaded’ 1,2 & 3? WHY!?

17.Wil a Yoruba movie ever be complete without a visit to the ‘Baba’?

18.Study:9 out of 10 times, Olu Jacobs dies of heart attack in Nollywood movies,why?

19“15 years ago” & Ini Edo calls her Boyfriend with a Bold 5..=D How is this possible?

20.Why will d parents call their child 3 times nd ask him/her how many time did I call you? ‘Dem no sabi count?’

21.When poor people come to Lagos to struggle dey always make it, if na so why poor people still dey Lagos?

22.Why is it dat Ogogo is always innocent but must be a victim of circumstances?

23.Who translates Yoruba films witout studyin English e.g “My wife is a pregnancy & she go borned the pikin soonest.

Keep the questions coming...

TYPES OF FACEBOOK DISEASES AND
DISORDERS:-
1.LIKOSIS.
symptoms- the patients likes
every status and
...pics that they come across with.
2.LIKOPHOBIA
symptoms- the patients dont like
any
interesting pics or status they
come across
with coz they think that the likes
will get
firnished.
3.SHYFBMIASIS
symptoms- the patients log on to
f.b after a
very long time then they log off
and then log
in later after more than two
weeks. its like
they
shy away from f.b.
4.TAG SYNDROME
symptoms- the patients want to
be tagged in
each and every photo they come
across with. 5.SAD SYNDROME
symptoms- the patients tend to
update sad
posts. e.g i hate love, i hate my life
and so on.
6.REQUEST SYNDROME
symptoms- the patients tend to
randomly
send friend request to many
people without
any consideration.
7.COMMENTOLARIA
symptoms- the patients seem to
be
commenting in each and every
post that they
come across with.
8.RUBISHTOSIS
symptoms- the patients tend to
be
commenting rubish or negative
things on
other peoples posts.
9.POST REMOVIASIS
symptoms- the patients tend to
be removing
their posts that received very
little or no likes
and comments.
10.ADICTOMIOLOG Y
symptoms- the patients cannot
stay for more
than 24hours without thinking of
facebook.
CONTROL: The above disorders can
be controlled by
doing the exact opposite of the
symptoms above. ...(be honest)
WHICH ONE ARE YOU SUFFERRING
FROM??
Mine: post removiasis

WHATS YOURS

Akpors: Girl I like your teeth!

Gal: Oh thnx *blushing*

Akpors: They remind me of a song!!

Gal: Owh really, Which song?

Akpors: Black & Yellow!!!

OLD AND STALE NEWS

Howard Webb will be the referee for Manchester United against Arsenal! Oh Lord, just give them 3 points already.

Reasons why I'll calm down and stop arguing with Glory hunting Manutd fans:

1) We've always been victims of such cases ( Manutd last year and Barcelona 2009).
2) My team proved we're the EPL's best FOOTBALL team now.
3) We have lost 3 deserved pts but gained RESPECT that's much more valuable.
4) We have a match on Wednesday to table revenge.
5) I can't hear Manutd fans from the top of the table

It is official