₦airaland Forum

Breaking up is hard to do, but let's be real, most often, it's for the best.


I highlighted what I thought are the best things about breaking up with someone



1. Saving those Naira bills. I remember getting my first salaary after my last breakup and realizing how much money I had because I wasn't spending it all on lunches and dinners not forgetting expensive gifts. I would rather take myself out for a treat and still have money left over!!!



2. Good riddance to bad rubbish. If it's not a match, it's hard but it's also good to move on. Being free of a relationship that clearly wasn't beneficial to you and focusing on yourself is very key.


3. Learning to love yourself again. I'm two weeks out of a six-year relationship and my sense of self has improved so much. Now that the shock is over I'm starting to love myself again for the first time in a very long time.


4. Finding yourself again. The moment you realize you are a complete person on your own is one of the greatest feelings ever. Understanding that you are an awesome person who people love and will love and that people still find you amazing even though your ex berated you and called you ugly and gave you side eyes whenever you felt good looking is a sigh of relief.



COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/16/These-Are-The-6-VERY-Best-Things-About-Breaking-Up


MORE LOVE AND SEX ARTICLES: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/love-sex

One of the most difficult subjects to understand is women. They come in various shapes and sizes, and each is unique in her own little ways. Their moods change faster than numbers on the stock exchange. Men, simple-minded as they are, are in constant fear of unintentionally offending or displeasing them. And the situation becomes a hundred times riskier and more challenging in bed. You never know when or how she might react to that new move you just tried? Maybe she was shy only in public, and wants you to do more.

I listed out the 8 different kinds of personalities women act out in bed, and how to get around each.

1. The Dead Body

This kind likes to be ultra passive in bed, and believes that the act of sex is the responsibility of the man. All she does is lie down in bed, frozen like a dead body, expecting you to act upon her. At the most, she can make sex noises to prove you are not having sex with a dead body.

2. The One Who Bites And Scratches

This type is totally capable of injuring you. She reacts wildly to anything you do to her body. She might scratch your back roughly, she might bite your ear, or ‘other things’; she’d claw her way through your body. While most guys like it when women are a little rough, having injury marks the next day is not a very pleasant thing to wake up to. Tip: Apply a light moisturizer before you jump in the sheets with her. Dry skin scratches harder. Also, try biting her back a little. Don’t hurt her, but make it clear you can bite too.

3. The Seductress, The Dominatrix, The Woman Of Your Dreams

If she is confident, makes eye contact, and initiates sex, you know you have landed yourself an alpha female. She knows what she wants and has no qualms in asking for it. The sex is probably going to be great. The only thing you need to worry about here is coming too soon, or before she has come. Every gentleman knows his lady needs to be there, in order for him to be there. And she knows it all too well.


COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/15/8-Types-Of-Nigerian-Girls-Youll-Encounter-In-Bed



MORE LOVE AND SEX ARTICLES: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/love-sex

One of the most difficult subjects to understand is women. They come in various shapes and sizes, and each is unique in her own little ways. Their moods change faster than numbers on the stock exchange. Men, simple-minded as they are, are in constant fear of unintentionally offending or displeasing them. And the situation becomes a hundred times riskier and more challenging in bed. You never know when or how she might react to that new move you just tried? Maybe she was shy only in public, and wants you to do more.

I listed out the 8 different kinds of personalities women act out in bed, and how to get around each.

1. The Dead Body

This kind likes to be ultra passive in bed, and believes that the act of sex is the responsibility of the man. All she does is lie down in bed, frozen like a dead body, expecting you to act upon her. At the most, she can make sex noises to prove you are not having sex with a dead body.

2. The One Who Bites And Scratches

This type is totally capable of injuring you. She reacts wildly to anything you do to her body. She might scratch your back roughly, she might bite your ear, or ‘other things’; she’d claw her way through your body. While most guys like it when women are a little rough, having injury marks the next day is not a very pleasant thing to wake up to. Tip: Apply a light moisturizer before you jump in the sheets with her. Dry skin scratches harder. Also, try biting her back a little. Don’t hurt her, but make it clear you can bite too.

3. The Seductress, The Dominatrix, The Woman Of Your Dreams

If she is confident, makes eye contact, and initiates sex, you know you have landed yourself an alpha female. She knows what she wants and has no qualms in asking for it. The sex is probably going to be great. The only thing you need to worry about here is coming too soon, or before she has come. Every gentleman knows his lady needs to be there, in order for him to be there. And she knows it all too well.


COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/15/8-Types-Of-Nigerian-Girls-Youll-Encounter-In-Bed



MORE LOVE AND SEX ARTICLES: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/love-sex

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, you read about a mom who stages the kidnapping of her own 6-year-old because, as she tells police, he’s too nice for his own good. Before I explain the horror this poor child had to endure at the hands of his mother, you should keep in mind that he thought it was real.


So it was real. Which means that he will likely suffer the same traumatic effects as a child who was legitimately kidnapped by a stranger as well as the horror that his own mom — the woman who is supposed to protect him — would do something like that to him.



According to CNN, 25-year-old Elizabeth James felt that her son was too nice to strangers so she, along with the boy’s grandmother and aunt, hatched a plan to have him “kidnapped” to teach him a lesson about “stranger danger.” James’s sister, 38-year-old Denise Miller, asked co-worker, Nathan Jobs, to kidnap her nephew. He obliged and on February 2 waited for the boy to get off his school bus.


Nathan lured the boy into his pick-up truck and drove off, telling the terrified child he’d never see his mom again and that he’d be “nailed to the wall of a shed.” When the boy cried, Nathan allegedly threatened him with a gun. Police say Nathan tied the boy’s hands and feet with plastic bags, covered his face with a jacket, and drove him to his own home where he was left in the basement.


Over the course of hours, family members scared the boy and at one point (according to authorities) his aunt pulled down his pants and shouted that he would be sold into sex slavery. The child was eventually untied and allowed upstairs where his family lectured him about stranger danger.


I can only be devastated for this sweet little guy whose only crime was being kind to others. Why a mother would knowingly put her child through the terrifying trauma of a kidnapping is unthinkable.

I understand trying to teach your kid a lesson about stranger danger but, as is the case with those parents who publicly shame their child for whatever they’re being punished for, this brand of parental punishment deserves its own punishment. Public humiliation,and now, kidnapping — it’s all unconscionable.



COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/15/Mom-Stages-Kidnapping-Of-6-Year-Old-Son-To-Teach-Him-A-Lesson

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, you read about a mom who stages the kidnapping of her own 6-year-old because, as she tells police, he’s too nice for his own good. Before I explain the horror this poor child had to endure at the hands of his mother, you should keep in mind that he thought it was real.


So it was real. Which means that he will likely suffer the same traumatic effects as a child who was legitimately kidnapped by a stranger as well as the horror that his own mom — the woman who is supposed to protect him — would do something like that to him.



According to CNN, 25-year-old Elizabeth James felt that her son was too nice to strangers so she, along with the boy’s grandmother and aunt, hatched a plan to have him “kidnapped” to teach him a lesson about “stranger danger.” James’s sister, 38-year-old Denise Miller, asked co-worker, Nathan Jobs, to kidnap her nephew. He obliged and on February 2 waited for the boy to get off his school bus.


Nathan lured the boy into his pick-up truck and drove off, telling the terrified child he’d never see his mom again and that he’d be “nailed to the wall of a shed.” When the boy cried, Nathan allegedly threatened him with a gun. Police say Nathan tied the boy’s hands and feet with plastic bags, covered his face with a jacket, and drove him to his own home where he was left in the basement.


Over the course of hours, family members scared the boy and at one point (according to authorities) his aunt pulled down his pants and shouted that he would be sold into sex slavery. The child was eventually untied and allowed upstairs where his family lectured him about stranger danger.


I can only be devastated for this sweet little guy whose only crime was being kind to others. Why a mother would knowingly put her child through the terrifying trauma of a kidnapping is unthinkable.

I understand trying to teach your kid a lesson about stranger danger but, as is the case with those parents who publicly shame their child for whatever they’re being punished for, this brand of parental punishment deserves its own punishment. Public humiliation,and now, kidnapping — it’s all unconscionable.



COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/15/Mom-Stages-Kidnapping-Of-6-Year-Old-Son-To-Teach-Him-A-Lesson

Love is relative. It could mean sex to some; kissing to others and a whole lot of pre-intimacy to yet others. But, the one thing that stays true to all these three is that love, my dear friend, is an art. When you’re in bed with a woman; what you’re primarily doing to her is making love; making her feel things she may or may not have felt before. You instill in her feelings, no matter how momentary, or everlasting they might be.



So how do you take a woman to your bed, and not have sex but make love to her, instead?

You start by taking her out—to a fancy place. Treat her like a queen. Open the champagne, pour her a glass, pull the chair out for her; hold the door. Ask her what her tastes and preferences are. Look into her eyes. Smile at her.


Take her hand. Go for a drive. Ask her what she wants to do. Let her tell you what she wants to do. Let her be and let her in. Take her home. Offer her a beverage; water, maybe. Play some soft music. Ask her if she’s comfortable. Touch her arm lightly. Lean in while you talk to her. Ask her questions about herself. Notice how she laughs or smiles at something you say. Hold her gaze. Lean in a bit more. Touch her cheek. Tell her she’s beautiful. Kiss her softly; yes, on her lips. Don’t make it hard. Keep it soft. Linger. Pull away a little. Let her see you. Let her lean in. Kiss her again. Let your lips linger. Take the lead and let her follow. Pull her close; hold her by the waist.

Don’t force the touch; let it come naturally. Let her come closer. Notice her body language. Notice how she moves. Hold her in your arms; gently. Trail a finger down her back. Feel the fabric of her dress on your skin. Run your fingers through her hair. Trail a finger along her jawline; hold her chin up to yours.


Then, take her by the hand. Light a fire—in the room and in her. Take your time. Linger. Kiss her more; passionately, now. Let her know she is wanted. Let her know you want her. Right there, right then. Let her want you back. Right there, right then. Slowly undo her dress, like your sculpting a statue; like you’re teaching her to break free. Notice how her body shifts right into your arms. Let her unbutton your shirt; let her take her time. Never stop kissing her. Linger on her lips. Take her hands in yours and let your fingers entwine. Gently stroke the nape of her neck; gently kiss her neck.

Carry her in your arms and lead her to the bedroom. You can make love in any part of the house; but it should always start in the bedroom. Lay her down on your bed. Admire her in that moment; like you’re grateful she’s with you. Let her know you feel lucky to be with her right then. Don’t hesitate—not for a second; not for a minute. Let her know you’re sure of this; of yourself. Let her know what you want to make her feel, And then, make her feel all of it. With every move and every touch, don’t leave her eyes or her lips. Treat her. Really treat her—to the time of her life. Make it about her.


COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/13/He-Made-Love-To-Me-Like-A-Real-Fcking-Man

MORE LOVE AND SEX ARTICLES: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/love-sex

Sex feels good. Naaa, sex feels great. Actually, scratch that. Sex feels phenomenal! There are no words to describe how it feels. And there is absolutely no replacement to that feeling; except, perhaps having more sex! Lol

But you know what also feels phenomenal? When you turn a woman on right after you’ve had a fabulous romping session, in a way that could only guarantee the next romp to be the ultimate romp of your life! Didn’t think it could get better Well, you were wrong, ! Here’s what you need to do to your lady right after you’ve had sex and gear up for what might be one of the best rides of your life!




1. Give Her A Massage

This is a lot like stroking the female ego (yes, we have one); only in a more literal and physical way. Right after sex when she’s tired for all the right reasons; not to say that you aren’t, but, well; a massage really helps ease out all her tensed muscles and lets her know that you are appreciative of her and that she is cared for. You’ll have the estrogen and the oxytocin up and running in no time!



2. Give Her Your Tshirt To Wear

Instead of her jumping right back into her own lingerie, give her one of your lose, yet slightly transparent t-shirts sprayed with your favourite scent, to flaunt over her curves and let the edges be long enough to cover the upper part of her derriere while give you a faint outline of the rest. There is something about wearing a man’s clothing item that turns women on, making them feel all the more sexy about themselves. Express tip: Tell her to leave out the underwear, or anything that would come between you peeling off your own t-shirt off her body. She will love the risqué factor.




3. Snuggle Up

Right after you’ve done it and you’re exhausted and spent and whatever else you call it, lay back in her arms and hold her close—your arm around her waist, head resting on top of hers, legs intertwined; basically your bodies are wrapped in one another’s in a way that you are one person. Really, that’s all you need to do. Women love to feel wanted and cared for. Basically show her a little loving that doesn’t have to do with something sexual; but, could definitely lead to all things sexual. So, snuggle up already.




COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/12/6-Ways-He-Turned-Me-On-Again-Right-After-We-Had-Sex

Going on your first date with a girl could either be tricky or magical depending on what side of the compass they touch when they end. Alot of thats take days of mental and physical preparation, however there are some very annoying topics you shouldnt touch on your first date. Here are 8 annoying questions that can totally ruin your first date

1. “How many people have you slept with?”
Okay, this might be you just been curious about her sexual hisotry but common first dates should be spared of such questions. Are you on a date with a potential partner or a hooker?



2. “So why did you break up with him?”
This is your first date and you want to ask them something you know nothing about? Why would you dig old graves in the first place?!



3 “Are you gonna eat that”?
So you see the pretty girl just twirling her fork in her food and not eating, that is not a sign for you to eat off their plate. Resist this, please.



4 “Does size really matter?”
Yes bro, the size of your brain does. Rest can be taken care of, so kindly don’t ask this stupid question.



COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/12/8-Stupid-Questions-You-Should-Never-Ask-On-A-First-Date

cuvox:
how about Nigerian men

coming soon

I’m not talking about morning sex, or break up sex, or shower sex. No. I’m talking about the following things. Sit up, and take good note because I won’t be saying this again.


1.Sex which starts with just passionate kissing

2. Sex where you want her as soon as you lock the door behind you

3. Sex that starts with a ‘Good morning’ in the kitchen and ends up with both of you on the floor and the tea spilling over the stove


4. Sex that ends in hours of cuddling and snuggling, like you’re koala bears

5. Sex with so much sexual tension that you just can’t hold it in

6. Animalistic sex that ends up against a wall

7. Aggressive sex that leads to the bed creaking consistently

8. Sex where you can just not help being so effing loud, who cares if the neighbors hear you?!

9.Sex with your favorite love song in the background

10. Sex that starts on the bed and ends in the shower

11. Sex in a bathtub with essential oils and flowers

12. Sex that ends up with her in mid-air

13. Sex that ruins the freshly washed sheets and the neatly done bed for good

14. Sex that does not involve your phone ringing and interrupting the romp

15. Sex where you can’t help but saying each other’s names out loud

COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/10/35-Different-Kinds-Of-Sex-Nigerian-Ladies-Actually-Want

Sometimes It feels like me and my boyfriend speak different languages. I’ll say things to my boyfriendand she doesn't understand, and then I don’t understand why they don’t understand. As you can imagine, it all gets very confusing very quickly.


If he doesn't understand the words that are coming out of my mouth, they must have absolutely no idea what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling in certain situations.


In efforts to be transparent and improve communication, I talked to my boyfriend and here’s “What He’s Really Thinking When…”



1. When you ask him, “How do I look in this?”

This is a tricky question…” or “Does she really want to know the truth?” or “Tell the truth! Lie! Tell the truth! Lie! … I’m toast!”

My girlfriend always looks beautiful to me. But sometimes she can be very critical of herself, and I’m not sure what’s the right thing to say. If I tell her an outfit looks great when she doesn’t feel so great about it, she could get upset. Or if tell her I’d prefer her to wear something else, when she feels great about it, I’m equally in hot water.

2. When you say something when he’s watching the game or something really “important.”

“Huh?” or “Did she say something?” or “Wait, what was that?” or "This girl leave me jor"

I’m gonna be honest – most of the time he didn’t even hear what you said. Not because he’s disinterested, or he doesn’t want to, but because he is so focused on what he’s watching, he has no clue what is going on around him. Let’s be real, men don’t multitask well. I suggest waiting until the commercial break, until the game or show is over, or just engaging with him about what he’s watching.


3. When you say “no” to sex.

“What if she doesn’t think I’m attractive anymore?” or “What’s the problem, I’m ready right now.”

It doesn’t take much for us to “be ready.” When we see you and we’re attracted to you, that’s almost pre-intimacy for us. Maybe because we are more visual and women tend to be more emotional, but for most men, it doesn’t take much. That’s why communication in the bedroom is so important. If you don’t feel in the mood, I suggest telling your husband or boyfriend why and opening a dialogue about what helps to get you there. Sometimes he just needs to be told.


ORIGNALLY POSTED ON thatbluebook.com.ng (Nigeria's Coolest Webzine)

My dearest boys,


This is an impossible letter to write, but as you read this I hope you let the passion and love behind each word sink into the deepest parts of you. I love you — each one of you — with every fiber of my existence, but I’m scared.


I need to tell you a story; it’s a story I desperately want to hide from you but one that I need you to hear.


You see, I’m not scared for you so much as I’m scared of you. Scared of what and who you could become.


I’m scared of boys because they turn into men, and men — some men — terrify me. Some men petrify a lot of us women, because of the damage they’re capable of. Because of the damage they’ve done.

Damage that’s left us utterly destroyed in its wake.


My past has made me terrified of the world I brought you into. He made me terrified of the world I brought you into; and I desperately need to know you will never become him.

He was just a boy. A boy in his first year of university who made a bad decision. His name was Tunde. He seemed kind when I met him, but within hours that kind boy with a cute smile turned into a nightmare that 13 years later, still haunts me.

Because the same night I met him, Tunde raped me. He snuck into my room while I was sleeping and raped me. I woke up to blood on my sheets and him inside of me, stabbing my insides as I screamed, “NO, NO, NO! OH. MY. GOD. OUCH. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OFF OF ME!”

He didn’t let go. Instead, he threw me up against my wooden dresser and continued to penetrate me from behind.

“You said you wanted it,” he whispered into my ear. “Earlier, when you looked at me with that seductive smile and that short skirt.”

Days later, as I tried to process the trauma that flipped my world upside down, a little voice in the back of my head taunted me.


“Maybe it was your fault. You shouldn’t dress like that. You had a few drinks, did you ask him to sleep with you? Did you say something you don’t remember?”


That voice inside my head is why I’m terrified of the world we live in. That voice, the one that led me to believe I was part of the problem, was influenced by a society saturated in rape culture.

A society that believes women who dress or behave in a way that sick men perceive as suggestive, are asking to be raped.

I want you to hear me loud and clear, my dearest children. No one asks to be raped. No woman goes to sleep with the hopes of waking up to a man penetrating them against their will. Rape is a criminal offense that victims have no part in, whatsoever.

Rape is a disgusting, degrading, animalistic abuse of power that shreds another human life to pieces.

You may wonder why I’m telling you this horrific story. I’m telling you because even though I’m scared of you — of men and boys as a whole — I have hope because of you. To my sons Jide, Mayowa, and Deji, each one of you, in your own special ways, give me hope that not all boys will turn into men who violate women.

Your gentle, nurturing, innocent souls have helped me to see that I don’t have to be scared of you. You are not him. And our society doesn’t have to remain stuck how it is.

You give me hope that things can change, and because of you, I feel a social responsibility to make sure you are brought up in a way that brings about that change.

Sex is confusing. As you grow, you will feel an overwhelming desire to satisfy one of your most primitive needs through sexual gratification. But sex must always be consensual.

And even consensual sex ought to be cared for with the utmost respect. Tread lightly, my boys; sex has the power to destroy lives in the matter of moments if its intentions are not carefully thought out.

But listen closely, too, because I have a secret. The only thing more powerful than sex is knowledge; information and logic, If used properly, will be your best defense.


ORIGINALLY POSTED ON: www.thatbluebook.com.ng (NIGERIA'S COOLEST WEBZINE)

My dearest boys,


This is an impossible letter to write, but as you read this I hope you let the passion and love behind each word sink into the deepest parts of you. I love you — each one of you — with every fiber of my existence, but I’m scared.


I need to tell you a story; it’s a story I desperately want to hide from you but one that I need you to hear.


You see, I’m not scared for you so much as I’m scared of you. Scared of what and who you could become.


I’m scared of boys because they turn into men, and men — some men — terrify me. Some men petrify a lot of us women, because of the damage they’re capable of. Because of the damage they’ve done.

Damage that’s left us utterly destroyed in its wake.


My past has made me terrified of the world I brought you into. He made me terrified of the world I brought you into; and I desperately need to know you will never become him.

He was just a boy. A boy in his first year of university who made a bad decision. His name was Tunde. He seemed kind when I met him, but within hours that kind boy with a cute smile turned into a nightmare that 13 years later, still haunts me.

Because the same night I met him, Tunde raped me. He snuck into my room while I was sleeping and raped me. I woke up to blood on my sheets and him inside of me, stabbing my insides as I screamed, “NO, NO, NO! OH. MY. GOD. OUCH. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OFF OF ME!”

He didn’t let go. Instead, he threw me up against my wooden dresser and continued to penetrate me from behind.

“You said you wanted it,” he whispered into my ear. “Earlier, when you looked at me with that seductive smile and that short skirt.”

Days later, as I tried to process the trauma that flipped my world upside down, a little voice in the back of my head taunted me.


“Maybe it was your fault. You shouldn’t dress like that. You had a few drinks, did you ask him to sleep with you? Did you say something you don’t remember?”


That voice inside my head is why I’m terrified of the world we live in. That voice, the one that led me to believe I was part of the problem, was influenced by a society saturated in rape culture.

A society that believes women who dress or behave in a way that sick men perceive as suggestive, are asking to be raped.

I want you to hear me loud and clear, my dearest children. No one asks to be raped. No woman goes to sleep with the hopes of waking up to a man penetrating them against their will. Rape is a criminal offense that victims have no part in, whatsoever.

Rape is a disgusting, degrading, animalistic abuse of power that shreds another human life to pieces.

You may wonder why I’m telling you this horrific story. I’m telling you because even though I’m scared of you — of men and boys as a whole — I have hope because of you. To my sons Jide, Mayowa, and Deji, each one of you, in your own special ways, give me hope that not all boys will turn into men who violate women.

Your gentle, nurturing, innocent souls have helped me to see that I don’t have to be scared of you. You are not him. And our society doesn’t have to remain stuck how it is.

You give me hope that things can change, and because of you, I feel a social responsibility to make sure you are brought up in a way that brings about that change.

Sex is confusing. As you grow, you will feel an overwhelming desire to satisfy one of your most primitive needs through sexual gratification. But sex must always be consensual.

And even consensual sex ought to be cared for with the utmost respect. Tread lightly, my boys; sex has the power to destroy lives in the matter of moments if its intentions are not carefully thought out.

But listen closely, too, because I have a secret. The only thing more powerful than sex is knowledge; information and logic, If used properly, will be your best defense.



ORIGINALLY POSTED ON: www.thatbluebook.com.ng (NIGERIA'S COOLEST WEBZINE)

To be fair, I consider any mom a working mom. But those of us who hold down jobs with bosses (other than our kids) face some challenges that are quite different. This is what life as working mom is to me, and to many.




Life as a working mom is …




arguing with your husband, on a morning when your child is sick, over who’s going to take off from work (read: who has the crazier day at work) to get him to the pediatrician.



having to take off a half day from work to attend your kid’s school event and wondering why the school thinks it’s OK to schedule events in the middle of the day.



not feeling at all guilty that you consider buying "take away" food an essential part of your family's meal.


feeling entirely too excited about taking a bathroom break, because nobody is banging on the door and asking you where her favorite t- shirt is.



wondering, once again, what your children think about you as you run out the door and they say, “Mum you forgot your phone/iphone/purse/head!”



COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/04/WHAT-LIFE-AS-A-WORKING-NIGERIAN-MOM-IS-REALLY-LIKE

People cheat in relationships. It happens. It happens in bad relationships and it happens in good relationships and it happens in just kinda OK relationships. If it happens in bad relationships or even in just kinda OK relationships, maybe the best course of action is to just break up. But if you're in a relationship that you like being in and you want to keep being in it, here's some stuff you can do instead of cheating.



1. Real talk with your partner. Maybe it's time to get super honest with your partner about the things that are making you think about cheating. Maybe it's those issues that need to be dealt with so you can get back on track. (Or sometimes you're in a perfectly happy relationship and you just want to be with another person sexually; and maybe that's something your partner would be open to. You never know unless you ask and you might just get what you're looking for. And if they're not into it, maybe it's time to rethink your priorities or rethink the relationship.)

2. Couple's counseling.[/b] If you need a mediator to get to the real talk place with your partner, couples counseling can help. If you're both ready and willing to commit to your relationship and also you're not sure how to tackle some serious issues (or even just basic communication issues!), counseling might be just the ticket. It must be noted, though, that how well counseling works is directly connected to how motivated you and your partner are — so don't wait too long, deal with stuff before it gets out of hand.


3. Double down on romance. Maybe what's missing is a fresh sense of romance between you two? If that's the case, investing in reinvigorating your sex life can help. You and your partner need to talk honestly about what you're both looking for, and be open and willing to try some new and ~sexy~ stuff together. The mystery, intrigue, and just general newness you're seeking from cheating might be right there in your own relationship.



COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/03/Try-These-7-Seven-Things-Before-You-Cheat-On-Your-Partner

There are few mistakes couples make after enjoying an intimate session with their partner. They might have made all the necessary efforts to satisfy their partner in bed, but just one little mistake can spoil all the fun!

The nature of these after-sex mistakes hints that you were just waiting for sex to get over so you could indulge in some other non-sexual activity. Or in some cases, it shows that you had something else running through your mind while having sex.

Though these are absolutely unintentional acts that partners get caught up in, these are often the terrible mistakes that kill the sexual mood. Also, couples fail to understand that switching off from the sexual state of mind can leave the other partner highly irked.

It is very likely that partners who right away indulge in something else after having sex, might have performed sex as a duty and not an act of enjoyment. While there are several ways to keep up the mood even after the actual sex is over, some partners look for ways to remain busy and thus they end up committing lesser known 'after-sex' mistakes.


We list some recurring 'after-sex' mistakes that couples indulge in. So the next time you get intimate, make sure you do not switch into something else just after finishing the act. Let the mood linger on for enhanced pleasure



After enjoying the sexual act, if a partner tries to get involved in something not related to sex, it surely makes the other partner feel disowned. While there should be an effort to linger on with the sexual feel even after the actual act is over, couples who deviate from this mood are certainly affecting their sexual relationship."


Falling asleep at once: Most couples come across this problem where either one of the partners or both would fall asleep soon after having sex. It certainly is a big goof-up that can kill the charm of sex. Sleeping at once would not allow you to cherish your performance and neither let you enjoy the mood with which you enjoyed that night of passion.


Making way for restroom: Enjoying a hot shower together can be a great pre-intimacy act, but rushing to the restroom right after a hot romp is definitely not! While couples won't mind getting messy in their sexual acts, but as soon as it's over, they make way to the washroom to clean-up. It might sound okay, but they forget that the other partner might still be enjoying that mood and want to have more of it. Heading straight to the washroom makes the other partner feel that there's been something unpleasing about the act, which can mar your sexual bliss.


Calling a friend: This is another common mistake that couples face after a steamy session. While it's obvious that none would call a friend at odd hours to discuss official matters, so why can't a petty talk wait till the morning? When it's time to enjoy sex, it's indeed a gaffe to keep your eyes and ears stuck onto your mobile phone waiting for a message or keeping an eye on your missed calls. It makes the other partner feel as if you're just not interested and thus ruins all the fun.


COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/02/7-Things-You-Should-Not-Do-After-Sex


NIGERIA'S COOLEST WEBZINE: www.thatbluebook.com.ng

There are few mistakes couples make after enjoying an intimate session with their partner. They might have made all the necessary efforts to satisfy their partner in bed, but just one little mistake can spoil all the fun!

The nature of these after-sex mistakes hints that you were just waiting for sex to get over so you could indulge in some other non-sexual activity. Or in some cases, it shows that you had something else running through your mind while having sex.

Though these are absolutely unintentional acts that partners get caught up in, these are often the terrible mistakes that kill the sexual mood. Also, couples fail to understand that switching off from the sexual state of mind can leave the other partner highly irked.

It is very likely that partners who right away indulge in something else after having sex, might have performed sex as a duty and not an act of enjoyment. While there are several ways to keep up the mood even after the actual sex is over, some partners look for ways to remain busy and thus they end up committing lesser known 'after-sex' mistakes.


We list some recurring 'after-sex' mistakes that couples indulge in. So the next time you get intimate, make sure you do not switch into something else just after finishing the act. Let the mood linger on for enhanced pleasure



After enjoying the sexual act, if a partner tries to get involved in something not related to sex, it surely makes the other partner feel disowned. While there should be an effort to linger on with the sexual feel even after the actual act is over, couples who deviate from this mood are certainly affecting their sexual relationship."


Falling asleep at once: Most couples come across this problem where either one of the partners or both would fall asleep soon after having sex. It certainly is a big goof-up that can kill the charm of sex. Sleeping at once would not allow you to cherish your performance and neither let you enjoy the mood with which you enjoyed that night of passion.


Making way for restroom: [/b]Enjoying a hot shower together can be a great pre-intimacy act, but rushing to the restroom right after a hot romp is definitely not! While couples won't mind getting messy in their sexual acts, but as soon as it's over, they make way to the washroom to clean-up. It might sound okay, but they forget that the other partner might still be enjoying that mood and want to have more of it. Heading straight to the washroom makes the other partner feel that there's been something unpleasing about the act, which can mar your sexual bliss.


[b]Calling a friend: This is another common mistake that couples face after a steamy session. While it's obvious that none would call a friend at odd hours to discuss official matters, so why can't a petty talk wait till the morning? When it's time to enjoy sex, it's indeed a gaffe to keep your eyes and ears stuck onto your mobile phone waiting for a message or keeping an eye on your missed calls. It makes the other partner feel as if you're just not interested and thus ruins all the fun.



COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/10/02/7-Things-You-Should-Not-Do-After-Sex

I had been living in Lagos for a couple of years when a friend introduced us. He had arrived in Lagos two days earlier from England, and was looking so dapper with a nice two piece suit on.

It wasn’t love at first sight (I wasn’t even sure that I was attracted to him) even though I felt his fashion choice was great, but I knew how lonely it was to relocate to a new city, knowing few people. I felt sorry for him and I was trying to be nice, so we went out on a date.


Three years later I married him. I was 28 years old, I was not in love, and yet I insisted on a very big wedding which cost us a lot financially despite our stringent budgets.

There were red flags before the wedding proposal itself. I knew in my mind that this person was not right for me. But at that time, I was struggling with my identity and my place in the world. As crazy as it may sound, I thought maybe that this marriage was my “happy place.” I ignored, denied, and hid from myself.
After we polished off a bottle of wine from SPAR, we stumbled into our bedroom. We had been living together for a year. I remember that “let’s move in together” conversation we had over lunch as if it were yesterday.

He eventually convinced me to move in with him. It was difficult to speak my mind and because my feelings and hesitations weren’t being considered, validated, or respected — I caved. In some ways it was easier to give in.


One day he threw me on the bed and said. “Will you marry me?”

There was still a part of me that felt sorry for him and I wasn’t confident enough to say no. I had said no to moving in and that didn’t turn out so well.

“Sure.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not.”

It wasn’t a romantic proposal, but we didn’t have that kind of relationship. We had never talked about getting married either. I didn’t believe in marriage, not so much as an institution, but rather as something that I needed or wanted to do. I hadn’t seen, nor thought about, our relationship as a forever proposition and he caught me off guard.

Why did I say yes? Why wasn’t I truthful? Why didn’t I ask for more time? Why didn’t I listen to the little voice inside of me that had doubts? I had ample opportunities to stop the runaway train but history had shown (both with him and in my past relationships) that speaking up for myself wasn’t a viable option.

If I had said no, then the truth about not being in love with him would have been revealed. The thought of hurting his feelings pained me. I sincerely thought that I was protecting him, even though it was at the expense of my own wishes and desires. We didn’t break up, so I got married.

I pushed my truth to the way, way back and planned a wedding. I played a role, plain and simple.

I wanted a low-key and casual wedding, but things quickly spiraled out of control as weddings sometimes do. I wore a very tight yet expensive wedding gown which almost felt like I was going to suffocate in.

I remember looking in the full-length mirror in the hotel room thinking, This couldn’t be my life. My mother handed me her white Bible (which I’d never seen before) and asked me if I would hold it as I walked down the aisle. I was wearing her mother’s pearl earrings and a new bracelet that a friend had given me. I was the poster child for wedding tradition.

We planned to say a few words to each other during the ceremony because I wanted to do what those in movies and on television did at weddings. I thought that these motions would make it more real and romantic.

Months before the wedding, I thought about what I wanted to say, and words failed me. Words never fail me. It was challenging to come up with honest things to say that would befit a wedding ceremony. I felt like a fraud. And like I had done so many times before, I ignored, denied, and hid.

I improvised, “I like myself better when I’m with you.” I’d heard couples say this, and I desperately wanted it to be true. My husband was overcome with emotion when he spoke and he cried. I stood with him — almost stoic — and I wanted to die.
I said, I do, when I didn’t.

We continued our lives as husband and wife, which brought further dishonesty, fear, and rationalizations. However, it also brought something else — something quite unexpected.
We became best friends.

He loved me unconditionally, and he delighted in my quirks, idiosyncrasies, and flaws. I trusted him implicitly. I fell in love with his loyalty, his talents, and his tireless support in my search for my purpose. He also stopped wearing dress shoes with shorts.

There were months, perhaps years, where we lived happily. We shared professional dreams and we were each other’s cheerleaders. While that was all wonderful, being truly and passionately in love with my partner eluded me, and haunted me almost daily.

I had imaginary conversations with my husband, rehearsing my breakup speech. Only in my head did I find the courage to end what should never have been. I tortured myself constantly. I began crying silently into my pillow at night, while my husband slept beside me.

Over our nine years together, my husband would occasionally question the infrequent sex. I made excuses; work, lack of work, depression, a marital speed bump, or something that I ate, because I could not tell him the truth. My verbal paralysis made me physically ill, and I could see it was affecting my husband and his self-esteem. The guilt, shame, and selfishness became too much to bear.

In our last year together, we traveled to South Africa together. Even toward the end, and even though I knew how I felt, I still held out for something that would make me fall in love with him. I hoped that Capetown would be the baby that would save our marriage.
When we returned to our hotel room one night, I snapped. It was unplanned and without provocation. My betrayal had to end. My little voice, who had been quietly screaming for nine years, was pissed.

I gasped for air. “I don’t want to be married anymore. I can’t do this. I’m so sorry.”

For the first time in a very long time, I was lucid and straightforward. Perhaps it was all of the rehearsing. My husband cried, and this time I joined him. We held each other in silence as I felt relief and honesty wash over me.


ORIGINALLY POSTED ON: www.thatbluebook.com.ng *NIGERIA'S COOLEST WEBZINE*

Right about a year and a half ago when heat of the power tussle was in the atmosphere, even the one year old children would chant the slogan "change" when the call "APC" comes alive because almost everyone was fed up with the condition of regression in the nation.

The same solicitors for change don't seem to be impressed with the rate of change...they want the kind of change that would double, or even triple the amount of change in their pockets and bank accounts already. Yet, they don't see the need for a positive change in their attitudes and way of life which will bring about a better standard of living.

I could blame the attitude of a large population of the masses on pure ignorance; many don't even know how to effectively manage a home, let alone manage a country. Not to mention a country recovering from decades of gross mismanagement. To be honest I think the change we yearn for would only manifest when we adopt the gospel of "change begins with me"

Let us take a look at the events happening around us: From the hike in the price of fuel and other commodities without corresponding increase in peoples' salaries and wages, to an increase in customs duty while the country still records low productivity and low exports (if not zero)...high importation rate being the reason behind the high cost of living (even tooth pick and matches, we import) . All this will go on until we begin to appreciate the need for us to be productive and creative enough to make end products with our home grown resources; both physical and abstract resources.

NB: Abstract resources being our ideas which when actualised could yield million dollar investments and continuity.

While Some people are keeping their hopes alive because of their beliefs, a substantial amount of persons have seen the need to dig deep into their creativity to come up with ideas worth breaking the bank for, so they can make life easier for others out there (after all wealth will come if you can solve peoples' problems).

The recent outcome of events has seen a drastic increase in the wave of skillfulness among the nigerian youths as the chances of securing good jobs after university keeps getting slimmer like a malnourished kid from the war-torn central African countries.

We now have engineers turned photographers; accountants turned artistes; Economists turned Comedians; Lawyers turned rappers; Chemists are moving to the business world, the young IT gurus are taking the IT world by change...this brought the Facebook CEO down to Nigeria to get acquainted with them, to mention a few.

Don't get this twisted, I'm not looking at this from the negative angle, rather I'm applauding everyone that has taken the leap of courage to do something creative with their minds, instead of sit at home all day and wait for our leaders to fix the unemployment and economic issues that arose from the inability to put in place an effective way of doing things systematically and progressively (there's no atom of hope or sense in that).

From my own point of view, I think the situation in the nation has brought about a high number of entrepreneurs, majorly among the youths. This I see as a blessing in disguise for those that tapped into the initiative of youth entrepreneurship while waiting for day jobs which are yet to be a guaranteed. I still urge every unemployed youth to access their creativity, you can only get better at what you love to do.

With integrity and focus, this generation I believe will redefine the history of Nigeria and reshape her identity on the world map.

Happy birthday My dear Country Nigeria.

Cheers.


POST CUED FROM: www.thatbluebook.com.ng ; NIGERA'S COOLEST WEBZINE

I think we should never trust anyone who says that they have no regrets in life. I mean, come on! Surely you regret something? From the person you wished you never dated Or ? To the life changing: how you regret marrying a loser? Or wishing you had taken up a job offer 20 years ago that would have led you down an entirely different path? There are different things we could all regret.

So ThatBlueBook team (www.thatbluebook.com.ng) decided to take a survey of 1,000 Nigerian women aged 25 to 39 years old and we discovered that the biggest regret of most women was: Not trying hard enough in school.

It made us think about how so many of us beat ourselves with koboko when we should just let it go. Secondary school or University was how many years ago? Sure, passing those exams or scoring higher grades may have created different career opportunities — but every choice we make leads to a unique avenue we may not have walked down.


Second place in the survey? Not losing weight on a diet.
I wonder if men answered this survey, where this would be on their list — if at all? It saddens me that weight is clearly such an issue on women’s minds. Don’t we have enough pressure on ourselves in this day and age without having to feel like a failure because of a diet?
We should genuinely try not to regret things in your life because it is such a wasted emotion. For a start, you can’t turn the clock back — there is no undoing what was said or what was done.


WOULD LIKE TO KNOW OTHER REGRETS THEY CONFESSED TO OUR TEAM?

READ COMPLETE POST HERE: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/09/30/Nigerian-Women-Reveal-Their-Biggest-Regrets-In-New-Survey

I think we should never trust anyone who says that they have no regrets in life. I mean, come on! Surely you regret something? From the person you wished you never dated Or ? To the life changing: how you regret marrying a loser? Or wishing you had taken up a job offer 20 years ago that would have led you down an entirely different path? There are different things we could all regret.

So ThatBlueBook team (www.thatbluebook.com.ng) decided to take a survey of 1,000 Nigerian women aged 25 to 39 years old and we discovered that the biggest regret of most women was: Not trying hard enough in school.

It made us think about how so many of us beat ourselves with koboko when we should just let it go. Secondary school or University was how many years ago? Sure, passing those exams or scoring higher grades may have created different career opportunities — but every choice we make leads to a unique avenue we may not have walked down.


Second place in the survey? Not losing weight on a diet.
I wonder if men answered this survey, where this would be on their list — if at all? It saddens me that weight is clearly such an issue on women’s minds. Don’t we have enough pressure on ourselves in this day and age without having to feel like a failure because of a diet?
We should genuinely try not to regret things in your life because it is such a wasted emotion. For a start, you can’t turn the clock back — there is no undoing what was said or what was done.


WOULD LIKE TO KNOW OTHER REGRETS THEY CONFESSED TO OUR TEAM?

READ COMPLETE POST HERE: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/09/30/Nigerian-Women-Reveal-Their-Biggest-Regrets-In-New-Survey

1. When you haven't watched something and they have, and they ruin it for you. If your girlfriend tells you who survived and died in the movie before the opening credits are over, that is grounds for an immediate breakup. Lol.

2. When she wants to watch something you really don't want to watch, but it's TV night and you want to cuddle. So you sit through some dumb episodes of Telemundo.

3. One of you always falls asleep. And the other one always gets a little annoyed when they have to explain the whole movie to you afterward.


COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/09/29/8-TV-Watching-Problems-Only-Couples-Understand

1. When you haven't watched something and they have, and they ruin it for you. If your girlfriend tells you who survived and died in the movie before the opening credits are over, that is grounds for an immediate breakup. Lol.

2. When she wants to watch something you really don't want to watch, but it's TV night and you want to cuddle. So you sit through some dumb episodes of Telemundo.

3. One of you always falls asleep. And the other one always gets a little annoyed when they have to explain the whole movie to you afterward.


COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/09/29/8-TV-Watching-Problems-Only-Couples-Understand

When it comes to your IQ, "I got it from my mama" couldn't be more accurate. New research featured in Psychology Spot says people are born with conditioned genes that work differently depending on if they're from your mother or father — and when it comes to your intelligence, those genes are from mother dearest.


Even though people used to believe your been intelligent was from your father and mother, that's not the case. You see, intelligence genes are located on chromosome X and since women carry two, that means children are twice as likely to get their intelligence from mom.


And even if your father passes off a few of his intelligence genes to you, chances are they won't have an impact on your brain since they only work if they come from your mother. "If that same gene is inherited from the father, it is deactivated," reports the study in Psychology Spot. "Obviously, other genes work the opposite, are activated only if they come from the father."


So Mothers you now have the bragging rights.

[b]
FOR MORE GIRLPOWER ARTICLES. VISIT: [/b]http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/girlpower

Hey guys, I'm back like I never left. I've been on a low doing some research like the inquisitive being that I've always been. ( I can inquire for Africa)


So here I am, sooner than I thought I would drop the second part of this series. It was due to some persistent pressure from my distinguished ardent readers who couldn't wait for the ninth month before i put to bed. Oh well, I eventually put to bed before the ninth month, but I'm lucky it wasn't a premature birth...lol. That's me being ridiculous; my apologies.


This continuing part is basically meant for the 'boys', so ladies don't trip... tomboys gerarahere!!

There are some guys out there with good looks, enough cash but zero game when it involves spinning a babe's mind. Years of observation has made me realize that nothing has changed in the way guys have been getting girls when you compare the past with the present.


The consistent guys just have a sort of 'code of ethics' or lifestyle that makes them irresistible like pizza and icecream, you'd want to talk to them when you see them.


You can tap into their wisdom by observing some changes in your lifestyle.
I've got in my box some tips I'll be giving out for free to aspiring "yoruba demons".
Check out the magnificent seven points.


1. Be Yoruba:

The most fundamental criteria for being a Yoruba demon is that you must either paternally or maternally have a Yoruba decent. If you're not Yoruba, forget it! Gbagbe e! You can only try ...asin try! Well you can be a "demon" but not one with a "Yoruba" prefix, which is the ultimate.

2. Always act fast:

Sharpness is a very important trait exhibited by this class. The moment you're busy scoping Bisi with one eye at a party, be keeping tabs on Chichi with the other eye while wearing your sunglasses, and be ready to slide into any of your targets at the slightest given free space within split seconds. Of course you know the first few words that you tell her matter a lot (I'll discuss that later)

3. Packaging is key:

As long as they keep being called ladies, they will always love fronting. But note that these same ladies never seize to scan the area for the most sophisticated guys around. Who they'll most likely drop their guards for when being approached. I mean, who doesn't like a sophisticated looking guy? Even guys like a good looking guy. So always wear your size, good watches, clean shoes and accessories. Not necessarily foreign designer, we have good and affordable brands here in Naija as well. #buymadeinnigeria #growthenaira


COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/09/29/The-Yoruba-Demon-Series-Part2


PART1: THE YORUBA DEMON SERIES http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/09/22/The-Yoruba-Demon-Series-Part1

1. The out-of-nowhere breakup. This is the breakup that can absolutely destroy a person. If you don't see a breakup coming, and you're super happy with how your relationship is, this thing hits you like a truck and leaves you lying on your couch in sweatpants eating ice cream that tastes like your tears (because you're crying, you see. Get it?).


2. The exhausting, long, painfully drawn-out breakup. No, this isn't the "grueling, three-hour talk" breakup. This is the kind that takes place over days or even weeks. You break up, but you don't have closure. So you meet to talk more about it.
3. The miracle breakup. When you want to break up, but your partner does the dirty work for you, it feels like a small miracle. You get to walk away guilt-free. Well done, you.


3. The cordial breakup. It's a rare thing when two people can agree to terminate a relationship at the same time and stay friendly afterward. It takes maturity and introspection. And also admitting, "Hey, we're really just going out so we don't have to go to the movies alone, aren't we?" Run away while you still can.


COMPLETE POST: http://www.thatbluebook.com.ng/single-post/2016/09/27/9-Types-of-Break-up-Every-Nigerian-Will-Experience-in-Their-Life