₦airaland Forum

You mean pasta/spaghetti in general or specifically noodles?

sheade:
Try eleganza fashions on facebook, I think you can view her page without having FB account, her shop is in Maryland area.

Sheade,

Thanks for your answer. I had actually found Eleganza Fashions right after I wrote the previous post. I was there 3 weeks ago and got the fabrics I needed for my outfits. She has a wide variety. She is located in Langley Park literally 10 mins drive from where I live. She also have some jewelry and shoes/handbags combos, but not too fan of these (kinda looks like the chinese and cheap Dubai stuff - although very appealing on pictures). But there is def for all tastes. I got a beautiful royal blue lace with some shimmer and glitter that wasnt too expensive.
Anyways, thanks again!

at topic and answers.
My dad cannot even handle looking at me in the eyes and talking about dating/men etc. let alone that. He could be outside of the room praying like somebody said. Not in the room, but heck I wouldnt even care who is there or not at that moment!

Hello all,

I was wondering if anybody would have any ideas how/where I can get a hand fan that matches my outfit in Maryland. Not being back home we have had to purchase fabrics from different places and look for tailoring and all that. You really get the best stuff and service back home but hopefully something can help. Thanks!

I if have a girl 1st, I'll name her after my husband's father -- Emmanuel so Manuela or Emmanuella. I'll name my second girl or boy after my dad/or gpa(on my mom's side)- then start over with the other kids: 3rd child (named after my hubby's mom or my mom)
Same the opposite, will just have to adjust the name to fit the gender,

tpia@ lol, wish it was that easy,
I'm actually talking about the marriage proposal letter that is written by the groom's family to the bride's family.

I would love to read a sample Yoruba marriage proposal letter, anybody?

Toytuns,

Thanks for ur reply. I found a store with a large and absolutely beautiful collection and variety of lace not far away from where ilive and with reasonable prices. I found the tailors as well as the designs. Thanks much for ur help.

Tessybaby

Thanks for ur replies. I guess ill have to make more cameroonian connections so I can get my eru sent to me directly from there. I'm based in maryland. We do find eru but not the best quality. My future sis in law always orders it from back home and gives me some anytime somebody comes here but I would like to have another reliable source lol. Thanks much for everything ooo. Next will be atchu soup. I haven't mastered that one. I am actually still working on liking the soup itself. I wasn't a big fan at first but starting to like it.

Thanks everybody who read, but could not help. lol.
I found a supplier that sells a wholesale price and will mail me my selection with free shipping, Now just looking for a good tailor/makeup and somebody who can help with the head ties.

tessybaby,

You are my hero lol!!!! I just saw ur reply now and that eru has been long eaten and digested lol. It came out really good (better than some eru i have eaten), this is like my 4th time cooking eru and I think I have mastered it lol. I made a enormous pot of it and my fiance ate it for 4 days straight for lunch and dinner. The only problem I am having is getting good eru here; it is either sliced too big or it is too strong. I do soak it for a long time but still does not help that much. I'll post pictures soon. Thanks again!

I absolutely would, lol. I am engaged and from where I am from it means that my friend (boyfriend) has let his intentions known before his family and has asked my family for my hand in marriage and becomes at that moment my fiance. To me that is way more important than me saying yes to him putting a ring on my finger in the privacy of a romantic date. In my culture the man comes with a limited number of his people to ask for what the brideprice that is required would be (once the man has been approved of course), and at that moment he comes with the engagement ring (in the presence of both families) to make the engagement official and that is last step before the traditional wedding.

Hey girls (and guys )

I am in the early stages of preparing my traditional wedding (and figuring out my outfits for the day) and I was wondering if anybody here would know where I can get african george material at a wholesale price in the Maryland area. I found one place in New York that is called AKN Fabrics and seems that they have reasonable prices and a good variety. Anybody familiar with them?

Thanks!

tessybaby,

I hope u are still around ooo. Will be needing ur help. I already copied this whole thread on my computer lol. Anyways,

I have made Eru a few times now watching my sister in law do it and reading from this thread. I have used cow skin and oxtail before. This time I wanna do it with fresh snail and oxtail (I have never cooked snail in my life lol -- but i have eaten it a few times). Can I boil my oxtail with the snail (they are both strong they will be boiled for a while together) or should I boil them separately (mainly cause I dont like the flavour/smell of the snail when it's boiling and dont want it to mess up my oxtail) then put then back together in the pot before adding my spinach?
I guess my question is how do u do it when he make eru with snail? Lol, teach and I'll catch up quickly lol, I am a good cook and enjoy making food for ppl to eat.

Eru the way cameroonians make it is a new area for me -- we eat too where I am from but we cook it differently, we make it like douala ppl, with groundnut paste (and we eat with baton/bobolo and salted fish on the side).

divalishis:
@sasi-malia
My cousin was shocked when i showed her your post. She said when she was in school, she would be scared and her heart would be beating, if she didnt call him immediately after classes! OMG! Infact, that day he called her when we went out, she was shaking after his calls!!!
I'm happy for you. Atleast u're out of it and av found happiness!

You're so very welcome. Other ppl have been thru it before, I literally was scared of him but never wanted to admit. Anyways, it it's not meant to be, no reason to force it, I hope she makes the right decision, the one that will make her happy!

Nothing wrong with that. I wouldnt go around showing it off but if I'm wearing/using it and sombody asks, I would def proudly tell them it was a gift from my husband and add whatever other positive words that goes thru my mind depending on my mood. lol. Nothing wrong with it at all, some ppl get bitter about stuff like this, not sure why

@Topic

I would advise her to confide in her mother, see what she has to say and at least postpone the wedding (i'm trying to be nice). The ideal case would be for her to walk out, honestly.

A couple of years ago I was in that same exact situation for over 4years and one of the best decisions I have made in my life was to end this relationship. It takes a lot of courage, believe me. I would shake and cry for hours when he would get mad, I would be up all night with a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat, my heart would constantly race if I forgot to call him right at the very second that I was done with my class (I was a student then).
He broke me in a lot of different aspects, my life was centered around him and trying not to upset him or make him mad. Any guy who would say hi to me only wants one thing: to sleep with me; all of the guys I used to tutor in school, the guys that were in our student association (of which I was the president), the neighbors in my apartment complex, the cashier at the store, every single male's goals was to sleep with me --- according to him.

I had to cut my r/ships even with my female friends, delete phone numbers, delete emails and messenger contacts and I ended up staying home most of the time and not going anywhere other than school and church because he would constantly call, every 15/30 minutes when i am with friends (even girl friends) or at church, anywhere outside. And yes it was a long distance relationship too. I felt obligated to give all of my passwords to all my emails so that he would trust that I had nothing to hide, he would log into my accounts, read my messages, answers certain messages as if he was me, delete other messages, change passwords etc. After 3 years, I felt suffocated and wanted out, but I loved him really much despite everything, still thought he could change and couldnt see myself breaking it up. His personality finally overshadowed mine and the "us" became mostly  a lot of "him" and a little tiny bit of "me". It took me over 1 year and half to say bye bye.

Back to your cousin, Tell her to make sure that she can live with that just the way she is right now, because it wont change. You SHOULD NEVER go into a marriage hoping to change somebody. You marry the person for what he/she is now.
She is young, she has a whole life ahead of her.  Just because they are about to get married doesnt mean they have to. If there is any shadow of doubt in her mind that she should not go ahead then she should not. She should listen to her guts.

This is my advice: Find PEACE as best friend in this matter. PEACE has been my best friend for a while now (since that abusive relationship). I never do anything unless I feel completely at peace with the outcome/ potential outcome of it. I am a couple months away from my wedding myself to a man that brings me peace. When I think about our relationship, I see and feel peace, a feeling of overwhelming calmness with no anxiety, no doubts, no fear of the possible unknown outcome of our relationship and I believe that is how one should ideally feel when preparing for marriage.

, the past 20 min, needed my daily dose of raggae
Morgan Heritage - Your best friend
Morgan Heritage - How come
Sizzla - Be strong
TOK - She is still loving me
Jach Cure -Longing for

at this very second, back to the motherland "Make we Jolly" Mama G (Patience Ozokwor).

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-194554.0.html

It's a really interesting thread, labor experiences both frightening and, appealing!

i think there already is another lengthy thread with various experiences, lots of good testimonies mainly from women and some men too. Having exclusively some male experience would be lovely.

The first time meeting his family for me was a bit akward. I was very anxious.

background: We are from 2 different countries (but im 100% african lol). We met through a common friend and we were both looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage. We had been together for about 2 months when he told me that he was taking me to meet his family. He had already "kind of" met mine. At the time I lived with my uncle and aunt and I had made a point to have whoever that would take me out on a date to come up, introduce themselves and say hi because I wanted to be taken seriously.

The day of: I have to point that I wasnt meeting his dad or mom (they are back home). He lives with is older brother who is married with kids. Anyways. That day I was very anxious --  an he told me we were going there after I had already gotten into the car, so I couldnt even "dress for the occasion". Thankfully I usually dress decently so that wasnt an issue. Of course as soon as he told me we were going
i started panicking a little bit, looking a myself in the mirror, making sure I didnt have too much eyeshadow or lipgloss, refixing my hair and all that. I had a knot in my stomach. We got there and introduced me to the grandma (the wife's aunt) in his language, and I smiled nervously (a bit stupidly too I think lol). She seemed nice but I know she was trying to be polite. I was given a seat and I didnt move from that seat for the next 4 or 5 hours. In the meantime some visitors came, I had to smile (of course) and explanations were given (that I couldnt understand) about who I was and all that. The wife came down and greeted me then her husband (my fiance's brother) came down too. To be honest it was akward and I was very uncomfortable but tried not to show it. The brother asked me a few questions later, like about what I do for a living, my studies, where I was before (I had just moved to this particular region) and about my parents. The women were a bit cold and I left the house relieved that at least this was over.

Afterwards: Fast forward to 6 months later, I have been going there almost every single weekend since that day. I forced myself to get over my being uncomfortable: the second time I came over, I took advantage of nobody looking and I washed the dishes that were laying in the sink and then every time I would come I would do whatever I see needs done (laundry, dishes, help clean the house etc.). I never came there and just sat on the couch waiting for food to be ready, I automatically went in the kitchen and kept company to the wife during her cooking or cut her onions etc. you catch my drift. She slowly opened up to me, teaching me how to cook their traditional meals, telling me stories about the family or herself. I made sure I would call once a week (not more not to become annoying) and say hi. Now we are very close, she is like a big sister to me. She checks on me or I call her several times a week. We slowly started spending the weekend over there. I got very close to the kids as well and they always ask for me whenever they dont see me.

I guess because of my behavior they saw in me a good future wife for their brother (even though I'm from a different country) so when my fiance's grandpa came to visit from back home, I was introduced to him as well. He saw me helping and cleaning and then I would come and sit by him and although we couldnt communicate that much (language barrier) we also got very close (he even asked that we take pictures just him and me to go show the new wife to everybody back home (and needless to say being grandpa he influenced everybody's opinion of me telling them that I am the one he wants and whoever thinks differently thats their own issue).

They invited me to join them for a family gathering in a distant region for thanksgiving and I was introduced by grandpa himself and my in-laws themselves to the larger family there.Since then I have spent christmas, new year, birthdays, baby showers and we have gone out eating or to parties several times; they call if there is any occasion. I guess what I'm trying to say is show your best "face" and try to build a relationship with the family members you will meet first because they can "boost your reputation"  and cut your work in half when it comes to meeting and "proving yourself" to the rest of the family, and dont just do it to accelerate the process, but genuinely try to get close to them because you are preparing yourself to enter their family.
I have now build relationship with family members that are still back home. I regularly call and check on them (especially his dad and godfather and sisters) and recently there has been some questioning about when are we going to finally tie the knot because they have all been waiting and are ready (my dad is the one slowing things up, )

I hope this helps, you will be alright. Use common sense, dress appropriately, be natural, be yourself, be genuine and if your are psychologically/emotionally ready for marriage, that includes becoming part of a new family, it will be felt and smooth. They might take time to warm up but you just be nice and helpful and dont take it personal if they come off as a bit cold at first.

Good luck!