₦airaland Forum

See me this life ooo. I have been begging my hubby for us to start trying for a baby, just one. He has been giving me all kinds of excuses. Now after trying everything including indulging remarks from in laws on both sides he has finally agreed to start trying. Doctor check up and I'm told that I don't ovulate on my own. All my sis in laws are abt my age, mid 20s to late 20s, they all have one going on their second baby after finishing their masters between first and 2nd baby. Very career yet family oriented women. At this stage of my life I soooo want to be a mother I feel like I can't make the next move in my professional life until I have a little one. I wish we could swap ooo I would give anything to look at my hubby's eyes and see that burning desire for a child.

My husband does the same thing. I have been talking and talking and talking and he finds it normal. Its not like he moved to the living room but he is the kind that after his dinner would just watch TV (and not change from his work clothes into "home" clothes) and will just lay on the couch and watch TV until he falls asleep. If I dont wake him up to come to the bedroom, he wont wake up or maybe will transfer himself from the couch to the bedroom around 3 or 4am. I thinks it's just bad habits from childhood. I was raised coming home from outside, take a shower, doing whatever and when u feel sleepy or its bedtime, preparing for bed (change into pj, organize tomorrow's clothes or things that I need, and read or pray). I thought that would translate into some intimacy time for us before bed, not s3x, but time before falling asleep when we can talk about our day or important things, laugh, establish that daily emotional connection and especially pray even a little bit. I believe its very important for a married couple to have such a time before bed and in the morning even if its 5 minutes. He thinks I'm being too fussy, he doesn't see the big deal. A friend advise me to stop nagging about that, and just blow the air mattress up in the living room for him, and get everything ready for him to sleep there and that he would feel a bit ashamed that a grown married man is spending his nights in the living room and will come back by himself after I stop nagging about it. I did it a couple of times but I just don't think I should encourage that. We have been married 8 months and I think he is just in transition from is bachelor habits to being a married man who has a conjugal bedroom and a wife waiting for him to sleep. It doesn't bother me as much but it used to frustrate me a lot. When he falls asleep I just do my thing. Sometimes I leave him still awake, go shower, pray and let him know I'm going to bed. He always says "ok I'm coming" but I know he wont, and will be snoring within the next 20 min. Sorry I have no solution for you. Havent found solution to my own lol.

I really don't see the big deal. Taking the husband name especially on official documents came with westernization. Back in the days women kept their maiden names and were referred to as "maiden name, wife of X, daughter of Y". It was never a problem. It was important back then to understand and carry the story of lineages. None of the women, mothers, aunts around me have dropped their maiden names, they have kept it on official documents but they are always referred to as Mrs X by everyone. I myself, kept my name just the way it was, but I have added my hubby's last name to mine on any new documents I am filling out. I have a tone of documents, from degrees to certificates to administrative paperwork that I would have to get changed and I am not going through all of that. My hubby calls me by my father's name when he wants to make fun of me or teasing me. But everyone calls me by his name. So really, in dialy life, no big deal. There so many other important issues to worry about.

We both call each other "Bay", short form of "baby" or "bebe".

ZUBY77: Week 12 and 13 - We went to a native (medical) doctor to confirm that the period was actually lost. The first doctor encouraged us to have hope because we will find it after nine months. The second doctor also said the same, so we resigned to waiting (we are still waiting even now). My concern is that her belly is swelling and that makes the waiting a one sided affair for me. The downside is that the whole blame of loosing the period is on me. I couldnt disagree because she made me understand that she had been seeing the period monthly for the past 12 years and that it couldnt just have disappeared less than three months after she came to live in my house without me having a hand in the disappearance. Come to think of it, i think she was right.

Week 14, 15, 16 and on and on - My punishment was that since i stole the period, most of the cooking and dish washing now rests with me. As a thief, i accepted the punishment without complaining. I have been thinking about how to counter this cooking issue and i believe i have found a plan. To be cotnd.

Toooo funny!!!! Make sure you find the period and bring it back in 9 months. And don't worry, in general the 2nd trimester is not as difficult as the 1st one. She might agree to resume cooking if you continue playing nice guy. There is reward in punishment, LOL!

Woow, love this thread. Learning so much and realizing that we do not have it that bad.

We got married august 20, 2011, its been 7 months. The evening of the wedding, I left with my husband and my in-laws at their place. According to their culture I was supposed to stay there for 1 week to 2weeks for so called "training". I have always been independent and I have lived alone since I was 19 yrs old so that didnt go well with me esp when they had me serve other men of the family, telling in front of everybody which part of the chicken I should serve them, Nonsense! but I didnt say anything, thank God we had already secured our apartment, on the other side of town and luckily my husband had just started a new job close to our apartment a week before we got married. So the next day in the afternoon, we told them that we were not staying and that we are moving into our place which is ready for us. They talked and talked and talked but we stood our grounds. They said they have to go and do some ceremonials, sing, and do all these rituals for blessing and fertility in that house and all kinds of things (they are very traditional), and hubby hates all this protocol. They told him he can go move in and they will come with me and bring my things. I told him before that I would not let him leave me there. We chose not to tell them before coz we knew what their reaction would be. Anyways, they were not too happy but they got over it. I had already won their heart before and I worked on building real friendship with some of them so they got over it, the weekend after I cooked a lot of food and brought it to them, they were happy.

The first 2 weeks I realized that I was "married" and kind of had that feeling of being "stuck" even if I end up not liking it. We had a rather uneventful first 3 months. Money was tough because I stopped working because of circumstances beyond our control. But it we were happy for the most part. There is this one area in our marriage that was really confusing me, and we are working on it, but apart from that, I have a good, hard-working, responsible, simple, humble, loving husband. I love him and he loves me back. We both value family alot and uphold marriage so we try to work things out. What I love about him is that he always makes the first step after we argue or if I get mad even if its my fault. He forgives and forget and I do the same. My family loves him and his family loves me. We are lucky to be just the 2 of us and we are loving it. We both love being home. I would rather entertain at home than going out, have people over (I love cooking) and he loves playing dj and bartender. We both also have our space, he works with computer so I give him his space with computer and his computer geek friends and go out to my family, or window shopping lol. He gives me space too, I am more religious than he is (I keep praying for him so that God touches his heart), so I am free to go to my prayer meetings and church when I want to.

The reality of marriage is often disappointing at first when you compare it with the ideals or idea that you once had but everything ends up falling into place if you learn to accept what you have, and deal with it in the most positive manner while remaining loving, wise and open. We are different when it comes to certain things and it hurts me a little, but knowing of deeply he loves me and how loyal he is makes up for it. I can say that despite our issues I feel safer and little more secure in the marriage. There are just 2 things that would fulfill me if I didnt have to deal with it: Conceiving, I just can't wait anymore to get pregnant (we cant start trying, he says is not ready, me says he is just scared and I dont understand why he can't just quit being scared, and man up in that area, that paralyzing fear is starting to take a toll on me), and something else that I wont share

I always go for books or something educational for all school aged nephews n nieces. Thats all i got growing up n thats what i go for.

Fhemmy im sooo impressed by both your replies. Im on nl alot but i dont post that much. You write a lof of funny posts but these ones are impressive. I soooo agree with you!!! My hubby doesnt help much but he wld come around n ask me what he can do to help n i usually tell him nothing bcoz otherwise he will take forever to do that one thing im asking, or wont do it carefully. At least he asks lol. Anyways if she is in a position to take care of them financially she shld not even fighting him. Such men become bitter when they feel they have lost a battle. At least she will deserve full credit for the kids future succes if the man does not willingly contribute. But again i dont have kids yet sooo... what do i know...

Handmaiden:
Please i would appreciate if i can get the recipe for small chops( spring rolls, samosa, chicken kebab e.t.c.) or contact of anyone who makes it very well within Yaba and Ikeja.

Hey Handmaiden, simple and easy recipe for samousa with pictures at http://sizzlingsasi..com/search/label/Samousas . Let me know if you have more questions about how to make it.

tessybaby:
heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Sasi
this your blog is something else ohhhhhhhhhhh
looking forward to seeing more recipes and pics

good job gurl

Sista Tessybaby,

Mehnnn I owe you much ooooo. I became the Eru queen. My husband is soooo happy and me who grew up never to like fufu (we really didn't eat it in our house), I tell you that it's now one my favs. I was going to post my rendition of my Eru and oat foufou/pounded yam on the blog and I have actually been thinking about you because of that. Thank you much!!!
I would be honored to have you contribute to my blog if it's something that you would enjoy, how abt we communicate outside of here? (I'm putting my email address here, sasi.mabiala@gmail.com Let me know when you read this so that I can edit my post and remove it)
Thanks sista!!

PS: did u see the fishrolls post on the blog?

solajacobs:
Is there any special rule for it in any culture? Have you had any experience on this? How did you handle it? Share your views.

We got married, and in my culture, it's not appropriate to visit newly weds at all especially during the first few months to 1 year after the wedding. My people even refuse to call me when they know my husband I home. I had to beg my aunt to come and visit me and even then she didnt even stay more than an hour. She and other family only came for my hubby's birthday. My other family only started calling again after about a month after the wedding.
Living overseas family or in-laws dont usually just show up but if we were back home I'm sure it would be difficult especially with sleep-overs and other expecting to come and stay for an extended period of time without letting you know. I know they probably would invite themselves which doesnt bother me that much unless I'm unaware of longer stays or the visits are too frequent.

@ all who looked through and liked it, thank you guys

You can request whatever you would like to see added here if you want/have the time,  You can visit the blog at http://sizzlingsassi..com or like us on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sasis-Almost-African-Kitchen/113463118762962
Constructive criticism is welcome!!!

thanks guys!!

ronkebp:
Hey dear, that is nice, good job, though you still have one million and one food to add,

Mama Ronkebp, thanks mama! i know ooo, I'm really just starting. So much to add. And little time between work, family, home itself, lol. Thanks for your encouragements ooo!!!

Bawss1:
Good work.

Bawss1, thanks for kind words!!! Still have a long way to go though lol!

Health
Peace
Money lol

Comic22, Please don't take offense and look through the previous posts. The ultimate lesson they contain is very important despite the way they are written (lol). Believe us, we have been here and back. I remember being 18 and thinking that my whole world would change and ppl would treat me as a full adult. I am 25 and married, with a degree, a professional career, a household of my own, and still not everybody treats me as an adult and you know what? it does not bother me at all to be called "small girl'. You know why:
1- We are africans, we will always be considered "kids" by elders
2- Being independent and being treated a such has to do with maturity: That is figuring out goals for your life academically and professionally and working towards those without whining. Wanting to get a tattoo or a piercing and fuming because nobody will let you is the furthest thing from mature behavior. Believe me. Dear little sister, get your priorities straight. You will thank your mom and uncle.
3- They say don't judge but we all do and we should judge and correct those who "don't know better", including youth with no guidance. Respect is not given, it is earned and yes whatever you do with your body sends signals about you are and how much respect you are "entitled" to assuming no one else knows nothing else about you than the image you portray. So yes if I see, a 18 year old with multiple tattoos and piercing, I do judge immediately. If I see a grown woman with kids and her G-string hanging out and 2inch-multicolor acrylic nails, yes I judge, unless she shows me better than what I see. Why do need a tattoo for anyways? Nothing against the tattoo itself (i have wanted one to for along time but never gathered the courage to get it and i am glad I didn't; I cant imagine what it would look like 50 years from now on my wrinkled skin )but more your behavior around the tattoo issue.

Mama Chaircover and sister Jenny,

I just wanted to say thank you for the many wise and sizzling hot pieces of advice related to this https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=762023.msg9185403#msg9185403
It is much much better. Like really better. Things are coming together just the way I want them to, LOL (this is 7 weeks of marriage) lol!
Love you guys!!

YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!

Thank you guys!!!!

@Fhemmy, LOL, thank for your suggestion. I just started the blog so it will get more complete as time goes and as I add pictures and recipes to it. Notice that I am also trying to give it more of an African perspective when it comes to non-western dishes so that various nationalities of the continent and the diaspora can relate. But your suggestions are definitely noted. I remember having some nice discussions with you long time ago under my other ID (lallafati and lallafati1).
I also would like my blog to have some personality and relate food to everyday life, and not just be an online recipe book as there are countless of those. I cannot stand either the idea of only talking about myself like some ppl do, I try to mix both, that's why I talk a little about little incidents in my surroundings that inspire me to make a certain meal.

@WAVixen, thank you for your constructive criticism. My ultimate goal is to have recipes for all the dishes. So i'm slowly working on it (I'm also a full-time health professional and a wife lol). I have to remake them to evaluate exact quantities as I usually just eye my quantities and never really calculate amounts for each ingredients (like most african women I believe). Your ideas and suggestions are def more than welcome!!!

Thanks guys!!!

Hello everybody!!

I just started a cooking blog and I would love for you to check it out http://sizzlingsasi..com if you have time and possibly give me feedback!! Any suggestions for improvement or constructive criticism is appreciated.
I would also love contributions by interested and experienced cooks!! I'm trying to make sure it has a lot of visual (more pictures than the average blog), afterall a significant part of enjoying food is seeing it and the expectations of the smell and the taste, right?

Thanks much!!

Molape:
Re: Samosa and Spring Rolls

The answer to this question didnt include how to make samosa though the reply on the Spring roll was a very vivid one and well appreciated. Pls could you specify on making Samosa too. Tanks.

Molape, check out the samosa recipe with pictures at this link http://sizzlingsasi..com/2011/09/recipes-samousas-au-poisson-fish-filled.html
Post any other questions if you have any after getting the recipe from there.

ronkebp:
[b]Sister please invest in Egyptian crisp cotton sheets and make sure that these sheets are changed weekly; better changed on Friday night    Freshly laundered crisp sheets and comfortable pillows makes anyone just want to stay in bed allday. Make your bedroom your sancutay; good music, a stocked fridge, blackout curtains, TV and snacks & of course a king size bed that doesnt squeak [/b]Enjoy your man. He is all yours 

Gbam!!!!!,  , for real!, 

Ronkebp, mama CC knows what's up!!

chaircover:
@sasi Congratulations dear. Wishing you many happy years together

Jenny has said it all. You are just going to have to derive methods & make the effort to distract him. The devotional time is most important and a family that prays together stays together.

I dont know how close you are to your pastor/how big your church is but you will find that when one is given responsibility in church the Christian life almost always gets better. So you may want to look into encouraging him to have some responsibiliy in the church.

Basically you have to evade his space & make him realise that you are better than the laptop or TV. whatever you do, dont nag him or he will just wake up in the morning and go out rather than being at home on the laptop

OMG mama CC!!! You and sister Jenny are the bomb!!!
Yeah I would love him to realize the importance of praying. When I'm done in the kitchen and I have showered and ready for bed he is usually working on his laptop/desktop or watching TV. Most of the time by then he is already sleepy or tired or dozing off but he has this very annoying habit (which my dad also had) to always deny that he is sleeping, he never sleeping he is only resting his eyes or thinking abt life when I hear him loudly snoring on the chair. So I usually come get him but most times he "not sleeping" and he is coming, always coming but never actually "there". I try 2 or 3 times then I just go do my devotions and sleep. Most of times if I wake up later i'll find him still asleep in the living room. It's just a bad habit that he has had for years even when he was living with family he did the same thing and I kept telling that an adult doesnt just fall asleep like a baby anywhere sleep catches you until  somebody comes and gets you to "transfer" from the living to the bed. An adult prepares for bed, and for the next day the evening before, shower, pray then sleep or keep watching tv or do something else, at least you are ready for bed.

With church I have gone easy on him coz I dont want to be the annoying Holy Mary so as long as he can commit for us to go to church together consistently that's a good start. Not sure he is ready to want to get involved more at this point. We go to a large contemporary international non-denominational church with over 6,000 members and we just missed the membership class (next one is early next year) but I'm just sure that if we could have least consistently pray daily together he would want to go to more than just the sunday service. Thats one the reasons we chose this church over the various african churches around, usually they are smaller, people know you and get personal with you and you become involved quickly and he didnt want that (and to some extent I wanted our personal life to not mingle too much with the life of the church which is often what happens with smaller churches but I do wanna get involved more into the life of the church).

chaircover:
when you wake up in the morning & he is still in bed, go into your bathroom and have a shower, brush your teeth and rub your body with something that smells light and romantic (nothing too heavy) Avon soft musk and Victoria Secret are quite nice, put on a negligee and then go to the kitchen and make him something light (even if it is a slice of toast and coffee) and then go back to bed. That will keep him in bed for another few hours

As regards the TV, you can consider buying a tv and placing it in your bedroom, so there is no need for either of you to hurry out of bed on a sat morning

Sister please invest in Egyptian crisp cotton sheets and make sure that these sheets are changed weekly; better changed on Friday night    Freshly laundered crisp sheets and comfortable pillows makes anyone just want to stay in bed allday. Make your bedroom your sancutay; good music, a stocked fridge, blackout curtains, TV and snacks & of course a king size bed that doesnt squeak

Enjoy your man. He is all yours 

As regards to this I will def do the bolded  this weekend and keep as something to do on the weekends!! But when does he get up earlier than me, shower, put on some Davidorff and bring me breakfast in bed?   I know I know. Never mind lol. I have some Avon stuff (love it).

Mama CC if the bedroom is too comfy esp that he already has his home office there, he will hibernate there (esp with winter coming quickly) and leave me in the kitchen by myself   LOL Just kidding. It's 1000 times better that he is somewhere in the house than outside, 

I love my husband  

jennykadry:
Wow, you both should be on your honeymoon stage, did you live with him before marriage? My man loves soccer and hates shopping for groceries on Saturday mornings when he can just sit back at home and watch the football. Every family needs to devote quality time to God daily. There are a lot of ways to distract this men. There are times I just leave what I am doing and sit on his thighs especially his soccer days. If mountain cannot go to Mohammed then. . . . Go to him with a bible, tell him(sweetly) to lead the devotion, start singing and clapping wherever he is. Show your husband you need his attention with your body language. Sometimes it's not all about the sex, the 99 times I disturb him when he is busy is not for sex, I just do it to get his eyes off it and concentrate on me. Even when I am on my Laptop, he sometimes comes to me and squeezes himself into one tight corner beside me and that instant I know better than to continue surfing the net. When you wake up in the morning engage him in convos in bed, make sure you are not far away from him in bed. Enough of the talking already, go to him anytime he jumps on his lappy. Plan some outings with him on your days off. Get out of that house even if you have to drag him with you. Enjoy your marriage before kids invade. This should be your sha[i]g[/i]ging without mercy stage.

Lol Jenny! Yes we should be on our honeymoon stage . We actually didnt plan one just because of the demands on both of our jobs. I took a few days off before and he couldnt because he just started a new job literally the week before the wedding . Maybe we should plan one sometime before the end of the year .
We dated for a year exactly to our wedding day. No we didnt live together even tho we spent a lot of our free time together. His idea of a romantic evening (and he is very serious) is put a good movie ("good" means spartacus type of movie ) with me besides him and something good to snack on. I can do all of the above with no problem even tho I cant stand those kinda movies (too much noise, too much violence and too much blood) but what is the point since both of our attention is focused on a 3rd object (the tv) and not on each other. I long for technology-free quality time, just us no noise, no tv, no computer, no cellphone just us even if it's 5 minutes right before going to bed or early in the morning before we get up to go shower and start our day.
On the few occasions that we have done it it's like a breath of fresh air (emotionally and spiritually) . I'm thinking that maybe i'm lil too demanding in that area and should just appreciate the fact that he loves me. And he does say "I love you" semi-daily LOL and values me in front of his or my family and/or friends. But I just think that little bit of time together when we are focused on each other is crucial. Thats when I can ask him if there are things that I can improve on, or when can talk about our relationship or how to handle a particular problem. Sometimes when that attention is there you might just be talking about one thing, then move on to another topic and another one and you end up discussing alot of important stuff, rather than having to mentally "make myself note" to bring up a particular topic.

I do come and sit on his lap and pinch his nose, pinch his ear, scratch his head, close his eyes, sing stupid song, speak in an indian accent , play silly (I'm always been labeled as a lil crazy by very close friends and family - otherwise I usually act calm and serious most of the time when not in private) and he laughs for a lil bit and begs me to live him alone and I do. He gets the msg that I need attention I'm sure but he doesnt act on it, he keeps doing his thing . And i usually just retire to my kitchen and start cooking whatever I'm inspired to make and take charge of the tv with my cooking or home improvement shows and ignore him too for a lil while. Alot of times he realizes that and come seeking for my attention and I play dumb. Keep doing my thing too.

For the devotions, not sure me coming with the bible will work though. But i'm willing to try. Thats the most important problem to me. I have gotten him to commit to go to church no matter what every sunday and glad that last sunday was about being serious in our spiritual life and commit ourselves to move to a different level. So he did make a few commitments with no follow ups so far.

He hates going out if he doesnt have to and esp hates grocery time, as soon as we get to the store he is like "Let's hurry baby I have some things to do" . Last time I got mad and told him that he always says that but if we were going to Staples or BestBuy he wouldnt say that and call me to come a check out various type of technological gadgets and ask me if we can get it knowing we dont need it and that I dont always feel like cooking or cleaning but I do because I have to, so he should stop acting like a boy who is in a hurry to go back home play video game .

Thank you for all the advice sister Jenny, I wont give up but I'll make sure that I dont become annoying even tho sometimes I think that I'd rather have him think "I'd better to this otherwise my wife will not be happy" than "Whatever, she'll talk then she'll stop".

Ok yall I have been reading this thread and many others and I guess I would love to have some feedback from specifically Jenny and CC (seasoned wives -- as one of my in-laws would say) and any other married women. We just got married exactly a month ago today. When we started dating he was very romantic then as we grew closer and become more like best friends that side of him kinda faded away. I mean he is really loving and caring (not necessarily outwardly romantic anymore). But I just wish he could work on his computer/watch TV less esp in the evenings (so we can have a few minutes of prayer/devotion time) or in the mornings especially on weekends.
I would love for us to wake up in the mornings say on saturdays and just lounge a little bit in bed talking, praying, chatting, laughing or discussing serious/important things, anyways doing whatever keeps us gives us quality time esp knowing we both work the whole week during the day and cant do it on weekdays. Instead he would just wake up and jump on his computer or on the TV. I expressed to him the importance of having some us time esp in the evenings just to be able to catch up with the day and pray. I havent seen that much effort and I do not want to be nagging, and I dont either want us to get used to not have that time, otherwise how will it be in 1 year, 5 years, when we have kids?
I love cooking and that is one thing that makes him really happy and sometimes he will pop into the kitchen but for the most part would seat in front of his computer in the bedroom (or the laptop at the kitchen table which I prefer that way we can still talk). Any advice?
I know this is a very minor issue but would like some feedback. Thanks ladies!

Too tired for that actually. We stayed at his family for a 2 days after the wedding so we waiting til we moved to our place. So def a few days before we did it lol. Happy to be married finally and relieved of the stress of planning the wedding was way more important. But again we are pretty laid back in that domain,

- How we met: Through a friend on facebook. He saw my profile through a common friend's page whom he has known since childhood and who happened to become a very close friend with whom I went to college. He inquired about me but i was never told abt out until after we started dating. He told me that as soon as he saw my picture he knew that I was the one he wanted - he said he could a calm and quiet maturity about me looking at the pics on my profile and my wall. He sent me a friend request which surprisingly enough i accepted - then we started chatting for a lil bit. Then he asked me for my number and started calling. I wasnt really interested and i was a point in my life where i had a lot of things on my mind. Other men were also pursuing me, but i ended up crossing them off of the list of potential partners when i realized that there was something very genuine abt him. He didnt push, didnt come up with cheesy sayings and lame poems. He was just himself. I didnt see him coming and by the time i realized what was going on he had swept me away after a few dates and an unexpected soft and smooth kiss 

- What attracted me: He is very simple guy, very mature without taking himself or life too seriously. He loves joking. He has tender heart that forgives easily, and gives freely whenever he can. He is very respectful which one of the reasons why my family fell in love with him. As a bonus from Baba God, he is very attractive with a killer body (until i started making him foufou every other day lol)

- Who proposed?: He did. Not explicitely but a couple months after we started dating, he brought up marriage and we knew that is exactly what we wanted. He then officially proposed in front of my family the day of our introduction.

- Who opposed: Initially, ippl where a bit skeptical and hesitant (but not exactly opposing) since we are from 2 different countries and cultures but being African some things are always the same esp where ppl decide to stay simple and respectful. Today his family absolutely loves me and my ppl are very happy too.

- The wedding: It was 3 weeks ago. We only did the traditional wedding but we did exchange vows (we wanted to combine that so that we dont have the pressure of doing the white wedding too soon --- we have other priorities  and it costs money oo)

- The honeymoon - We havent had any. But being together is kind of like a honeymoon in and of itself lol. Newlyweds that is lol!

- Made a mistake choosing my partner? - no, he is the one that I prayed for and I am the one that he prayed for. Both are families are lovely, simple, understanding and loving and caring. Our personalities complete one another and where im weak he is strong, where he is weak i am strong. So def no!

- Tempted to be unfaithful: Nope. Never cheated on anybody, never will. I wasnt raised like that. Nothing to do with my partner, has to do with my own values and self-respect and dignity.

- How long: Been together for a year but it feels we have known for 10 years!! Married for almost a month and praying for God's mercy and grace on our marriage. Would love to fast forward a few years from now lol.

TCD:
Pls for Whatever Reason, DO NOT GO TO BED WITH YOUR CONTACT LENSES. Why do you need contact lenses in bed anyway, do you have eye problems in your dreams too? When they say a lens lasts for a month, it doesn't mean you should leave it in your eye for a month, it just means it can be used and reused for a Month.

A very beautiful young lady Just had her eyeball removed the other day due to complications of corneal ulcer caused by misuse of contacts made worse by the fact she was just wearing contacts for cosmesis. What a waste.

Please don't play with your life. Those contacts breathable or Not are "Foreign Bodies". Ask any Doctor or even a Med student causes of corneal ulcers and you'll hear Corneal Foreign body amongst many others. Please o, be careful sister.

Don't worry if there is somebody that values their eyes most, it would be me. Most people have no idea what its like to have serious eye issues for most their life, for as long as they can remember. The ones I wear are made for extended wear for 30 days, I do not have to take it out once a week, I just do by caution. Extended wear contact lenses are made for people who can't handle daily wear, and I am one of them. I can assure you that they help me see my dreams clearer Just joking. But seriously it's great opening your eyes in the morning and being able to see like everybody else, instead of looking for your glasses (which my husband used to move around sometimes to tease me, knowing that I put them at the same spot before bed every single day so I don't have to ask for help to look for them since I can't look for it myself).
Anyways make sure you get your eye doctor to prescribe exactly what will work for you and your lifestyle. This is not the 90s anymore and there are countless options and a large variety of soft contact lens. Depending on your location the options you have might be limited, not sure. But listen carefully to your eye doctor. Contact are not for everyone I would def not advise wearing any if you don't have a medical problem that justifies it.
And if you can function without glasses or lenses, bless Baba God and don't ever take it for granted because other people like me were not so fortunate. At least I can see

I have very bad vision and been wearing glasses since I was 5 years old. I'm 25 now and got fed up with them. I have been wearing contact lenses for 6 months now. I knew couldn't do the daily meticulous care so my eye doctor suggested the weekly by-weekly or monthly. I picked the monthly one. I keep them in for 30 days. I have my 6 months supply. I do take them out once a week and sleep without them a full night so my can breathe. The ones I wear are the new"breathable" ones and let more oxygen go through to ur eyes than regual daily soft contact lenses. In addition to myopia I also have astigmatism so I wear air optix for astigmatism and its a different prescription for each eye. Great experience so far I even forgot I used to wear glasses for so long. I used to carry my little moistening solution with my so I can put a few drops when my eyes get dry or if I go through an environment that's dusty or smoky but my eyes have adjusted very well and I hardly ever have to do it now.

Was that a yes to the jolof rice and chicken? You got the spoon where is your plate?

Here

Its very easy and there is soooo many different versions of it which you make according to your mood and what you have on hand.

I do mine with chicken (boneless skinless) most of the time. The secret to that particularly delicious taste of shawarma is the tahini sauce which is basically a little sauce white in color made with garlic, olive oil and lemon juice. Obviously you can make your own. The way you season your chicken is also very important.

- You need flatbread or pita bread. You can also make your own at home, all you need is flour, a little bit of water, a little bit of oil, a frying and thats it. (look for recipe for indian or kenyan chiapati). Tastewise you cant tell the difference.
- I cut my chicken in little pieces, fry it and once the chicken is cooked add onions maggi, black pepper a little bit of garlic and nutmeg.
- Here is the recipe for the tahini sauce. You just need about 1 or 2 tablespoon of the sauce to add to your shawarma.

Tahini sauce is made from tahini - a sesame seed paste. Tahini sauce is thinner and used in pita sandwiches, shawarmas, marinades, and dips. Tahini sauce is very easy to make. Store it in an airtight container in the refrigerator and it will keep for about two weeks.
Ingredients:

1/2 cup tahini (sesame seed paste)
3 gloves garlic, crushed
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 teaspoon parsley, finely chopped (optional)

Preparation:
In a food processor or mortar and pestle, combine garlic and tahini. Add kosher salt.

Remove from food processor and add olive oil and lemon juice. If too thick, add a teaspoon of warm water until desired consistency.

Mix in parsely

Serve immediately or refrigerate.


Shawarma

On my flat bread or chapati, I lay my salad, cucumber, tomato, my chicken and my tahini sauce. I fold my bread over the filing and roll it on itself and then put it on my foreman grill for 2 or 3 minutes. You can also put in aluminium foil and put in your preheated oven for 5 minutes.

Of course you can replace the chicken with seasoned lamb bits. I have eaten different versions that had corn and/or avocado in addition to the above. The turkish or lebanese/syrian eatery I get them from once in a while puts them in pocket pita bread and adds chopped parsley.

You can make any versions you want with whatever you have really, some ingredients depending on your location are harder/easier to find. I'm a big proponent of making as much as I can from scratch. Hope it helps.

Will post a pic if I get to making it one of these days. In the meantime enjoy these.