₦airaland Forum

Aren't we tired of this PDP and APC problems?.. Haven't we had enough of this same people who only seek power and nothing else?.. My fellow Nigerians, we can make this change together. It is high time we give this country what it needs for growth and progress... People like Tinubu and Atiku are only just power mongers, they have nothing to offer this great country Nigeria.
The suffering in Nigeria is out of scale. Nigeria needs troubleshooters not looters anymore. The northerners are deliberately taking us backwards... nothing good has ever come out from there .. All they want is power but no clue on governance.

Please let us vote wisely for the future of our kids and Nigeria.

Siwel25:
It is you who has allowed bitterness obliterate any objectivity in his head. Hating on someone means you are thinking outside the box? Do you even know his antecedents, career profile, training and achievements? All you know is that he must not be President cos U think so.

Who the hell are you to force your hate induced opinion on others?

Mr objectivity, I agree with you that my opinion is fueled my bitterness... I am bitter because it is people like you who are learned that are the main problem of our country. Tinubu of all people.. bros you must be sick!

Jennyclay:
Well, personally. I'm allergic to broke and poor people. I can't stand being with a broke man. And besides their wahala is just too much.

I can't even imagine a man giving me 5k to cook stew.. What would 5k buy in the market? 5k can't even buy enough meat not to talk of other ingredients.

Abeg make broke people dey there lane.. While I dey my lane... Biko!!

Na your type, Yahoo boys dey look for..

Siwel25:
The worst of Jagaban is better than others and Buhari. He's an expert in Financial re-engineering and he's proven. He will easily improve the economy. For once, let's have a well trained Accountant with international connections manage the economy.

You actually do have a small brain. someone who can't think out of the box. Of all men in Nigeria it is someone who is not only a greedy man but has just 2 bar left in his bat3. you must be out of your mind.

Morenikeji090:
Sir you are loved.. only those who hate you are enemy of progress they knew how capable you are they are jealous of your progress in Nigeria polities.. Jagaban of Nigeria you shall lead us well..

don't include us... He shall lead only you and your entire family..

pointblankeirie:
Have you laid new curse on the useless and imaginary prophet Mohamed of Islam toady? If not please do. All worshippers of Islam are lunatics, a sane and intelligent mind cannot be a Muslim, to be a Muslim there must be a history of mental disorderliness in your family: spits, the way they even worship the imaginary Mohamed irritates me , very weird animals. End this False union called Nigeria now, we are not one and can never be one with lunatics

I very much agree with you. Islam is a disease and that barbaric fake prophet Muhammad is a cancer. We can't be living like this with lunatics. we must separate now..

I still insist that muslim fanatics and that their fake prophet Muhammad are a curse to this world...

Prophet Muhammed and all his followers will burn in hell.. Nonsense country.. I don't understand why we share one country with this northerners...

Prophet Muhammed and all his followers will burn in hell..

bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here

my brother, the problem is dominance...I think she is trying to dominate you early so that you will be in her control. My advice, I will suggest you seat her down and tell her and put her in her place now. You have to be the man here and always be quick to point it to her when she does it again....if not I will advice you let her go and save yourself fro a lifetime of sadness.

Iyaebe:
Omo iyaloja have spoken.If you don’t love tinubu then you are an enemy of progress,Lagos is not what it is today without the good foundation that tinubu has built,he’s good with governance and he’s a son of a great market woman,he was born and brought up in the market like a true African child,he knows what it feels to be downtrodden and he obviously knows the solution to the problems of Nigerians,let’s put our thinking cap on and do the right thing.Omo iyaloja to the world.

You must be a fool for making this comment. How can a thief, a murderer, a cancer to the society and an embodiment of decay rule our country again going through one of his making. you are a saddist.

Bigspider:
Hello everyone

Please I need your advise. I have a girlfriend. I love her so much and would do just anything reasonably possible to make her happy. We've been together for years and several things have happened that we have overcome. But she happens to make a 'mistake' with one of her tutors, they got so closed chemistry started to heat up and they things happened (no sex though according to her). They kissed severally and spend nights together on more than one occasion. The nightmare about this is I am currently out of the country and make sure we communicate everyday, to include the days of the escape with the socalled tutor. And I have had no idea she could be doing that since I call her every night. Only that she will reject video call most times and complain it's too dark and there's no light, I didn't suspect any other thing . Though it almost break us but she apologized and we already let that slide. But the problem now is she is still communicating with this person and that always make my thoughts run riots. I have not suspected any fowl play though, but I don't feel comfortable that she still keep contact with this person. She explained that she already put him off and told him not to come to her house anymore, but only need to keep contact with him in case she might need help with her work or need someone to put her through. I have insisted that she should be transparent with every of their interactions which she agrees. But along the line, I sense the transparency and honesty she swore isn't 100%. Then my fear and insecurity has risen. I have requested her to block and cut ties with him. She refused and saying I am selfish and insensitive and not considering her (in case she needs help). The refusal is stern that she won't mind breaking up just not to cut contact with this person. Now I am forced to think perhaps I am selfish and insensitive. Or perhaps she doesn't respect the relationship enough to cut ties with this person. Please advise and give your honest opinion. Please don't hold back if you think I am at fault, as far as it is honest I will take it. I know some will troll and use derogatory word but I sure know there still reasonable ones in here. Please help!

Bro , I can't imagine how torturing the situation is right now with you. My advice for you is to man up because I don't expect her to be 100% transparent with you. She is human and a woman who needs to feel the physical touch of being alive and loved. Obviously, you can't offer her this needs because you are far away trying to make things work with you two. It's a selfish world when it comes to our personal gratification. Just be strong.

Has she ever thought about how short life can be and how we can't control what happens in our life in the next seconds...

Candidlady:
How old are you?

How old is the girl?

Employed/unemployed/underemployed ?

Do you stay alone?

Can you afford to take care of the mother and kid during this nursing phase ?

I am in my mid 3Os. I am doing well by God's grace.. I am not a lazy man .

with my current income I believe I can give my son good care. thanks bro

Newboss:
This one is just looking for problems.

You can't raise a kid now, yet you're looking for a kid. Some of una funny sha.

Las las, the kid can never be his child because he's already the kid's grandfather. And you will ALWAYS be the father.

The problem with most Nigerian girls is that they want you to become a millionaire before you can marry them. I love the girl infact the birtth of my son increased my love for her...

Candidlady:
You are not broke but you ain't financially stable either... Babana stay one place !!!

Am not saying you shouldn't fight for your kid it is actually sweet you are, cuz most guys would always run from responsibilities..

Talk to your baby mama and do the needful... And please don't let your kid be the only reason you wanna settle Down with the girl !

Obviously, you are a traditionist and I am not a tout everything that happened was borne out of love... and it's obvious you have no love in your heart for talking this way.

Daveambition:
The audacity & boldness of most naija youth baffles me..
Yu claim to be Nwa-afor buh skip traditional rites & went to impregnant a girl...
FYI, Igbo culture has NEVER robbed any sensible & family oriented igbo man of their fatherhood..
From ur write-up yu sound like a potential tout.

I am in my mid 30s and I am not broke.. it's just about women and their tall ambitions. I can take care of my son if given the chance, so don't conclude.

Candidlady:
How old are you?

How old is the girl?

Employed/unemployed/underemployed ?

Do you stay alone?

Can you afford to take care of the mother and kid during this nursing phase ?






Broke guys and having kids outta wedlock should be an abomination.

I understand the tradition but all I want is to be a father. And I missed one important fact. The girl gave birth a virgin.

thorpido:
There are things you should have taken into consideration before embarking on this journey of yours. This should mean a lot to you.You know you can't claim a child in Igbo culture if you didn't pay the dowry.
Two,the consequences of pre-marital sex without protection.Three,the daughter can't marry you in your present state.

As it is now,it's a war you can't win.Maybe the court can help you.

Hello,
I just need some advice on what to do. My girlfriend who happens to be the only child of her parents gave birth to my beautiful baby boy 8 months ago but I am yet to see him nor touch him because of the selfishness of her father.
I am an igbo man but this our igbo culture is robbing good men of their fatherhood. I may not be where I want to be financially now but I intend fighting for my son ,tradition or not.

I have made inquest to pay the girls dowry if that is what it would take me but obviously, the father is only interested in my son and the girl in question is not ready for marriage according to her, base on my financial strength.

I just need an advice on what to do because I feel cheated. I can not bare the thought of having my son be called another man's son when I am still alive and with the so much love I have for him even when I have not seen him nor carry him.

The father have already given him names and have taken him to church telling everyone that he has adopted a son. I just want to do something drastic.

I love this girl in question and I want to really settle down with her which I have made her aware. But she has other plans for her future according to her. I can't force her to marry me.

thank you for your advice