₦airaland Forum

A man picked up his wive who stayed at a hotel in Lagos. When he want to pay for his wive hotel bill, he shocked up.
" 35,000 Naira for this kind of hotel?? This can afford 5 star hotel in Lekki, " he protest

The manager come and with linear sound replied ," This hotel, have two restaurant, two swimming pool, pool table, karaoke, cafe, gym and convention room. So this is the standard price for our class of hotel facility ."

The man refused ," But She didnt event swim nor singing in the Karaoke room! This is ridiculous!!"

" It's not our fault for your wive not using the facility maximally, " The manager replied.

The man take a deep breath, and reach to his wallet ,

" Here's 15,000 Naira. "

" But sir, why 15,000 Naira ? " The manager surprised and refused.

The man smartly smile said ," You have to pay 20,000Naira to sleep with my wive!!"

The manager confused and say ," I DIDNT SLEEP WITH YOUR WIFE SIR"

The man say ." Its not my fault. I let her to sleep in your hotel room for a night, if you not slept with her, it was your loss not to maximize it, "

Here's a story that might can help you to through the interview with Federal Government Recruiter

Applicant ( A )
Interviewer ( I )

1st applicant
I : How much is 100 naira + 100 naira
A : 250 Naira!
I : Sorry, you have the potential to be corruptor. We dont want you.

2nd applicant
I : How much is 100 naira + 100 naira
A : 150 Naira!
I : Sorry, you have the potential to decrease Federal Income. We dont want you.

3rd applicant
I : How much is 100 naira + 100 naira
A : Anyhow you want, sir!
I : You have just the character that we searching for, !! Congratulations!!!

[quote author=Efemena_xy link=topic=485098.msg6445172#msg6445172 date=1280004743]Nice!

but what's with the foreign language? [/quote]Sorry oo, it was a daily manna email ( one of my favorite ) from a catholic pastor, he send it in my language. I'm not Nigerian, but I do love NL. I think the moral of the funny story can be inspiring for some who read it, so I translate and post it.

In the beginning, God creates a cow.
God ordered it to eat in the grassland, to works under the hot sun for the whole day. And God give it 50 years of living.
The Ox said , " Working hard under the sun for 50 yrs? No , thank you. It's too depressing. Let me return 30 years to you. I'll have enough with 20yrs. And God agreed.

On the 2nd day, God created Monkey.
He ordered them to entertain the most valuable creature He will create, human. The monkey were ordered to do backflip,acrobatic, and things to make human laugh. And God give them 20 yrs of living.
Monkeys refused. " 20 yrs to clowning for human? We cant bear it. Let it be 10 years. We return the other 10 to You." And God agreed.

On the 3rd day, God create the dogs. It ordered by God to protect the human's front door. "Bark, each time people goin close to the human's door, " HE said. It'll be 20yrs of living for the dogs.
The dogs said, " No way we gonna do that for 20yrs. We return 10 yrs to You." And God agreed.

On the 4th day, Human Creation. God give human a simple task. "Have fun, and enjoy your life" God placed 25yrs for human.
Human really refused that arrangement. "25 yrs for enjoying life? That's too short!!"
Then Human came with a deal arrangement :
"The cow return 30 yrs, Monkey returned 10, and the dog returned 10. Let us have those, and we shall get 75 years for human. "
And God agreed.

Consequences :

first 25 years of human life filled with fun, joy, and easy. Just like God promised.
next 30 years human will have to work hard as a cow
another 10 yrs after that the human will have to give joy to the grandchildren and makes them happy, just like the monkey do.
and spending the rest 10yrs sitting in the house to bother everyone nearby, just like the dogs,

a cmon girl, its not even real ( maybe ),

I post it in the jokes section,

Hope not make you sick

I think is not about protecting the christian or the moslem, but is all about how the government need to protect the law and it's citizen. Strong law and constant implementation will finish this kind of clashes.

Omo Alata:
Are these hotels anywhere near Aguda, Surulere? I do not know Lagos hence the question. Thanks.

Dis Guy:
^^ was about to ask too where these streets are? Ikeja, Surulere, Mushin, Ikoyi ?
they sound familiar though but what district?

Am Sorry oo,

Off Opebi Rd, behind Tastee Fried Chicken, Ikeja, LAGOS
Le Parisian Suites 1 & 2
Neat small hotel, price vary from N8000 - N25k
Nice service, friendly environment.


Emina Crescent St, off Toyin St, Ikeja LAGOS
Knight Bridge Hotel
Small hotel, nice bed.
Price vary starting from N10,000 - N25,000

femionasan:
The Glo thing is really getting frustrating. Noticed it about 3 weeks ago. It only works well from Midnight. I also noticed that when i leave the island in the evenings and i get home it becomes a big problem. On the island the service is relatively ok.

its okay for today

hopefully it ll still okay till forever

does any nairalanders can help by posting the 50th Anniversary Official Logo ?

Thank you all!

Anyone know what brand is good for Metformin Hcl Extended / Sustained Release? I dont want to buy the too expensive one, looking for the value for money one,

Thank you NL!

I've heard about using gymnema sylvestre extract can actually make you stop craving for sugars, and simultaneously lower your blood sugar level,
Anyone knows or have information about this?

Na wa ooo

DRAMATIC oooo

Nairalanders who already a mom or a dad, what radio station you usually tune in to?
If you have the favorite show in the radio, you can also share it with all nairalanders,

Funny oo,
I wish someone in Naija have this o

Argentina after losing against germany

In ireland, maybe they don't sell as seen on tv things at shops,
But I think in Nigeria, they sell anything anywhere IF they have it

Its been 5-6 days since the Glo really sucked up their BIS,
the 121 customer care line never stop from saying their busy
Anyone get improvement yet ?

Should we be carefull about what we say here? If I have those kind of salary, and I feel that this kind of critics / revelation can 'disturb' my comfortness, I can afford ( with all those money ) to pay someone ( or some institution ) to 'shut the mouth' of whoever taking this to the surface.
Dont you think so? Just a 'worried' opinion.

sosoramon:
Basic Salary - N2, 484, 245.50.
Hardship Allowance @ 50% of Basic Salary - N1,242,122.70 (I love this kind of
hardship)
Constituency allowance @ 200% of BS - N4,968,509.00
Furniture Allowance @ 300% of BS - N7,452,736.50
Newspaper allowance @ 50% - N1,242,122.70 (Which kind newspaper be this shey na online or hard copy?).
Wardrobe allowance @ 25% - N621,061.37
Recess Allowance@ 10%: - N248,424.55
Accommodation @ 200% - N4,968,509.00.
Utilities @ 30% - N828,081.83.
Domestic Staff @ 35% - N863,184.12.
Entertainment @ 30% - N828,081.83.
Personal Assistance @ 25% - N621,061.37.
Vehicle Maintenance Allowance @ 75% - N1,863,184.12.
Leave Allowance @10% - N248,424.55.
One off payments (As advised by SagamiteSeverance gratuity) @ 300% - N7,452,736.50 (Once they get fired.)
Motor Vehicle Allowance @ 400% of BS - N9,936,982.00 - Every Four Years
Senators Salary per month. - N2,456,647.7
Total = N29, 479, 749.00
* 109 Senators Grand Total = N3,264,329,264. 10
A feeding frenzy!!!


ENOUGH IS ENOUGH



Salary U.S. President: $250,000/yr.
GDP U.S. Economy: $13Trillion/ yr.

Allowance Nig. Senator: $1,500,000/yr
GDP Nig. Economy: $45 Billion/yr.

And they want more. Doctors, teachers, civil servants can't boast of N1m a year and these guys want N30m every month




CORRUPTION IS SO MUCH IN THIS COUNTRY, ALL OUR SENATORS ARE EARNING MORE THAN THE UNITED STATE PRESIDENT [color=#990000][/color]

Lets just hope this kind of data they published it well across the country, so the shameless can get all the shame they deserve,

What make you sure the thieves / robber wont be more likely to have the gun before you do?

If you have a gun and they have 3 gun, registered or not, what will make a different?

If your incidentally crash to an Oga, and he shoot you, and report it as you try to rob him by crashing your car to him ?

If the legal guns are out there, dont you think it'll be twice more illegal gun?

So the answer is : No. More gun means nothing if its concerning to security.

Lot of countries didnt support private possession on gun, and they still can manage the security well, even if the country are so well corrupted.
Malaysia, Indonesia, Ghana, Netherland, India, and some more, sorry I dont do some actual research, but it's my opinion.

siapaya:
Dear samjoeng , thank you for the info.

how long u use zain BIS? Can u detail with what area are you live, and what area are you oftenly be around? I need to know whether Zain will work well in my place here at Opebi Rd, Ikeja.

Hello samjoeng, sorry about re-question aswered question there.

Samjoeng:
Hi, I use zain blackberry service even now am typin this thru it. I can say it is reliable and okay. I am happy using it and I have used it for 2 and half yrs now. They can charge u just 4.8k monthly

Dear samjoeng , thank you for the info.

how long u use zain BIS? Can u detail with what area are you live, and what area are you oftenly be around? I need to know whether Zain will work well in my place here at Opebi Rd, Ikeja.

Glo Blackberry users, any improvement yet till today? Mine are not.

Thx again for the info. My mistake is, Glo just auto renew my subscription, which I forget to unsubscribe last night
What a pity ( for me ),