₦airaland Forum

Karleb: All I want is for this thread to make front page, not hard or soft feelings whatsoever.

omg!!! A nigga sha wana make it to fp by force by fire... I hope u no bet your money ontop sha?

Mrval20: Ermm, are you omnipresent?

she's all over the places like oxygen abi?

esof1: Toy

hun Which kind toy teddy or doll?

Well well well *clap* meanwhile no one talks about it... I wonder if we have readers at all on nairaland

IBADAN BABES DON COME AGAIN ooo
1. Thank God for a brown new day!
2. My god is upsome!
3. Why are people so weekend? (coz they are Friday)
4. Not all dat glitters are goats! (goatn’t it!!??)
5. Majority carries the volt (volt ko!? transformer ni?)
6. May your name be highly exhausted!
7. My waste is paining me!
8. Thank God for spearing my life (with arrow abi with dagger?)
9. What is strong with you? (strong kor.. decoder ni)
10. Lord! you are the killer dat holds my life!
(GBOOOOOOOOMM!!)
11. Pls, how much is ur age? (na 22naira o!)
12. Look to the window, the principal just passed away (na you kill am abi?)
13. I am not priding pls
14. Lord let ur wheel be done…(God’ wheelbarrow spoil b4?)
Laff go kill me for here ooo Chei

Oh really?

BIBLICAL TOASTING! :Naija Style
Boy: Do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: Nope. I don’t want to have a boyfriend.
Boy: Gen. 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Girl: But I don’t love you.
Boy: 1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” Girl: But how can I be sure that you’re loyal and honest?
Boy: Mark 13:31 “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.”
Girl: But I’m busy, I’m still studying. Boy: Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Girl: But why me? Thereare a lot of girls out there.
Boy: Proverbs 31:29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
Girl: But what is in me that you like?
Boy: Song of Solomon 4:7 “You are altogether beautiful, my darling there is no flaw in you.”
Girl: But I’m not beautiful.
Boy: Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Girl: What do you want to happen?
Boy: 2 Corinthians 2:4 “For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.”

It like placing a order on olx with ur mastercard... You know what that means? OYO

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new CEO for Microsoft Europe. Five thousand candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is bomboy a Naija guy. Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know Java program to leave. Two thousand candidates left the room. Bomboy says to himself, “I do not know JaVa but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try. Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had the experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. Two thousand left the room. Bomboy says to himself “I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?” So he stays. Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. Five hundred people left the room. Bomboy says to himself, “I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?” So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serb-Croatian to leave. Four hundred ninety-eight candidates left the room Feranmi says to himself, “I do not speak one
word of Serb – Croatian but what do I have to lose?” So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them and said, “Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serb – Croatian, so I’d now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.” Calmly, Feranmi turns to the other candidate and says, “Wahala wa o!”
The other candidate answers “wahala gidi!!!”
Naija no dey carry Last!

A job well done in uyo... I wana be there some day, probably after fashola had left... Smh...

Once again beautiful stadio

Akpos The Hunter


Akpos decided to follow his friend Osas on a hunting trip deep in the forest of Okomu reserve in Iguobazuwa. Akpos has never gone hunting while Osas has hunted all his life. When they got to the middle of the forest, Osas told Akpos to sit by a tree and not make a sound while he checks out an antelope trail. After he got about a quarter of a mile away, Osas heard a blood-curling scream which scared away nearby antelope. He rushed back to Akpos and yelled; “I think I tell you say make you quiet?”
Akpos replied : “Shuo, I try o, I really try. When green snake waka pass my leg I nor shake body or make peem sound. When gorilla come dey breath hot and smelly smelly air for my face, I nor shake body or make shekele sound. But when two squirrel waka enter my trouser leg, one come tell the other one say, “Chei, see as this two palm kernels big like coconut, we nor go fit chop dem finish for here, so make we pluck and carry dem go home”, naim I come start to halla.

Who sabi speak pidgen?
Abeg make una translate this into your Naija variouse pidgen versions
"I have been waiting for you since and everythings were going smoothly until the police men came, everything went rough.
If i may ask is there a way we can clean this shit?"

One word for the groom!

During a wedding reception; the groom was called upon to give his vote of thanks to his guests and this
is what he came up with:
1. I want to first of all thank the Lord Almighty for creating my wife and to also thank the pastor and his
wife for lending us their wedding rings.
2. Special appreciation to my landlord who lent us his car.
3. I am most grateful to my boss for... approving the loan I used for the wedding.
4. Big thanks to the committee of friends for the appeal fund they raised on my behalf.
5. Also to my brother's wife, thank you for lending us your wedding gown.
6. Am so grateful to the cake designer for the cake. I promised to return it tomorrow morning as agreed without cutting or eating out of it.
7. Special thanks to my friends who brought food from their homes to help me feed you all. Please for
those who were served food good luck and for Those who didn't get any, well we will make it up to
you during our child dedication ( hopefully next year).
8. Very big thanks to my parents for bringing the village cultural band to supply the music as well as
entertain us all here, today.
9. Not forgetting the church marriage committee, thank you for persuading my wife to marry me.
10. Appreciation to the married men in the church for rushing me into this marriage.
11. The women are not left out, thanks a lot for teaching my wife how to dance.
12. To the youths, thank you for sweeping and decorating this venue with palm fronds.
13. I am also grateful to my teenage friends for helping with the Zobo drink.
14. Appreciation to my co-tenants for contributing money for the cameraman.
15. Well, I wish you all safe journey and I pray you don't experience what I suffered for this wedding.
Thank you...enjoy ur day.
What can you say about this?

A boy was in love with a certern girl but never had the guts to tell her.
One Night he gathered some courage and sent her a text message saying, i love you, i wana date you please reply and tell me how you feel.
A few seconds later he received a message alert on his phone... He was so scared and tensed to open it that night so he decided not to check and reply back until the next morning when he's less tensed... When he woke up in the morning he prayed seriously about message for good news, he did his morning
chores, brushed his teeth, ate his breakfast, had his bath and dressed up then climbed on bed and picked his phone to read the message.
This was the respond he read: Dear customer you do not have enough balance to send this message, please recharge your account and try again letter.

YORUBA NAMES & THEIR
FUNNY DIRECT
TRANSLATIONS.!!
1. Anuoluwapo- Mercy of God
plenty
2. Odeyemi- Hunter fit me 3. Pamilerin- Kill me wit laugh
4. Olamide- My wealth don
come
5. Timileyin- push my back
6. Adeyemi- Crown fit me
7. Motunrayo- I see wealth again 8. Bamidele- Follow me reach
house
9. Ayomikun- My wealth full
10. Oladejo- Wealth turn eight
( 11. Shile- Open house
12. Wale- Come house 13. Morenike- I see person take
care
14. Funmilayo- Give me joy
15. Omoyemi- Pikin fit me 16. Tunbosun- Shift
again
17. Feyintola- Rest back on wealth.
18. Motolani- Am big enuf to
have wealth.
19. Ifabiyi- Oracle born this. 20. Olaide-
Wealth roll come.
21. Ageshin- Horse rider. 22. Adeleke- Crown dey on
top.
23. Babajide- father wake
come. 24. Bankole- Help me build
house.
25. Owolabi- Na money we born. Add ur own name and the meaning and KEEP IT ROLLING.

Lstar4real:
Noticed Too... ...#spacebookfoupcomingtraditionalwedding. will this space be enough. .

nope let me give you more













































are u ok with this space... Hmmmm ... No. I doubt it












































more??
It ok joor

My people be like... Vote goodluck so that luck can be ours too as if he has an iota of luck in him sef

Images and reactions: what we see and how we feel about it

What people see and how they react to their reflection in a mirror will vary according to: species, sex, age, ethnic group, sexual orientation, mood, eating disorders, what they've been watching on TV, what magazines they read, whether they're married or single, what kind of childhood they had, whether they take part in sports, what phase of the menstrual cycle they're in, whether they are pregnant, where they've been shopping – and even what they had for lunch.
Species

If you were a dog or a cat or a horse you wouldn't realise that the image was a reflection of yourself. Most animals in this situation think that they are face to face with another member of their species.

The exception is the great apes – chimps, gorillas and orang-utans are capable of recognising themselves in the mirror – and of course the Naked Apes: us.

What's interesting is what the other apes do when presented with a mirror: they use mirrors to groom themselves, pick food out of their teeth and make faces at themselves for entertainment – i.e. more or less the same reactions as us Naked Apes.
Sex

All research to date on body image shows that women are much more critical of their appearance than men – much less likely to admire what they see in the mirror. Up to 8 out of 10 women will be dissatisfied with their reflection, and more than half may see a distorted image.

Men looking in the mirror are more likely to be either pleased with what they see or indifferent. Research shows that men generally have a much more positive body-image than women – if anything, they may tend to over-estimate their attractiveness. Some men looking in the mirror may literally not see the flaws in their appearance.

Why are women so much more self-critical than men? Because women are judged on their appearance more than men, and standards of female beauty are considerably higher and more inflexible. Women are continually bombarded with images of the 'ideal' face and figure – what Naomi Woolf calls 'The Official Body'. Constant exposure to idealised images of female beauty on TV, magazines and billboards makes exceptional good looks seem normal and anything short of perfection seem abnormal and ugly. It has been estimated that young women now see more images of outstandingly beautiful women in one day than our mothers saw throughout their entire adolescence.

Also, most women are trying to achieve the impossible: standards of female beauty have in fact become progressively more unrealistic during the 20th century. In 1917, the physically perfect woman was about 5ft 4in tall and weighed nearly 10 stone. Even 25 years ago, top models and beauty queens weighed only 8% less than the average woman, now they weigh 23% less. The current media ideal for women is achievable by less than 5% of the female population – and that's just in terms of weight and size. If you want the ideal shape, face etc., it's probably more like 1%.
Age

Children: Female dissatisfaction with appearance – poor body-image – begins at a very early age. Human infants begin to recognise themselves in mirrors at about two years old. Female humans begin to dislike what they see only a few years later. The latest surveys show very young girls are going on diets because they think they are fat and unattractive. In one American survey, 81% of ten-year-old girls had already dieted at least once. A recent Swedish study found that 25% of 7 year old girls had dieted to lose weight – they were already suffering from 'body-image distortion', estimating themselves to be larger than they really were. Similar studies in Japan have found that 41% of elementary school girls (some as young as 6) thought they were too fat. Even normal-weight and underweight girls want to lose weight.

Boys were found to be significantly less critical of their appearance: in one study, normal-weight girls expressed considerably more worries about their looks than obese boys.

Adolescents: Boys do go through a short phase of relative dissatisfaction with their appearance in early adolescence, but the physical changes associated with puberty soon bring them closer to the masculine ideal – i.e. they get taller, broader in the shoulders, more muscular etc.

For girls, however, puberty only makes things worse. The normal physical changes – increase in weight and body fat, particularly on the hips and thighs, take them further from the cultural ideal of unnatural slimness. A Harvard University study showed that up to two thirds of underweight 12-year-old girls considered themselves to be too fat. By 13, at least 50% of girls are significantly unhappy about their appearance. By 14, focused, specific dissatisfactions have intensified, particularly concerning hips and thighs. By 17, only 3 out of 10 girls have not been on a diet – up to 8 out of 10 will be unhappy with what they see in the mirror.

Adults: Among women over 18 looking at themselves in the mirror, research indicates that at least 80% are unhappy with what they see. Many will not even be seeing an accurate reflection. Most of us have heard that anorexics see themselves as larger than they really are, but some recent research indicates that this kind of distorted body-image is by no means confined to those suffering from eating disorders – in some studies up to 80% of women over-estimated their size. Increasing numbers of normal, attractive women, with no weight problems or clinical psychological disorders, look at themselves in the mirror and see ugliness and fat.

Research confirms what most of us already know: that the main focus of dissatisfaction for most women looking in the mirror is the size and shape of their bodies, particularly their hips, waists and thighs.

In the most recent research, there is some evidence of an increase in body-dissatisfaction among males. As well as some early-adolescent boys, men undergoing the so-called 'male menopause' or mid-life crisis – i.e. men between the ages of about 45 and 55 – are most likely to be dissatisfied with their appearance.

When men are dissatisfied, the main focuses of concern are height, stomachs, chests and hair loss. We may see them surreptitiously drawing in their stomachs and walking 'taller' as they pass the mirror.
Ethnic group

There are some exceptions to these rules. Black and Asian women generally have a more positive body-image than Caucasian women, although this depends on the degree to which they have accepted the beauty standards of the dominant culture.

A study of Mexican immigrants in America found that those who had immigrated after the age of 17 were less affected by the prevailing super-thin ideal than those who were 16 or younger when they came to the US. In a Washington University study, Black women with high self-esteem and a strong sense of racial identity actually rated themselves more attractive than pictures of supposedly 'beautiful' white fashion models. In another study about 40% of moderately and severely overweight Black women rated their figures to be attractive or very attractive. Other research indicates that this may be because African-American women are more flexible in their concepts of beauty than their White counterparts, who express rigid ideals and greater dissatisfaction with their own body-shape.

In a study of British and Ugandan students' evaluation of body-shapes, the Ugandans rated an 'obese' female figure much more attractive than the British (they were also more tolerant of too-skinny males). Another British study showed that Asian-British women were more content with their body size than white British women, despite the fact that the Asians' ideal body size was as slim as that of the white women, suggesting that the Asian-British women were less concerned about matching the ideal than the white women.
Sexual orientation

Gay men are more likely than straight men to be unhappy with their reflection in the mirror. But lesbians are likely to be more satisfied with their mirror-image than straight women.

Recent studies show that homosexual men experience greater body-dissatisfaction than heterosexual men, while homosexual women have a more positive body-image than heterosexual women. This seems to be mainly due to the higher emphasis on appearance in gay male culture – although it is possible that stability of relationships (see below) may also be a factor.
TV & Magazines

People's reactions to their reflection in the mirror may depend on recent exposure to idealised images of physical attractiveness. Experiments have shown that people become significantly more dissatisfied with their own appearance after being shown TV ads featuring exceptionally slim and beautiful people. Control groups shown non-appearance-related ads do not change their rating of their own attractiveness.

Although many TV programmes feature attractive people, ads tend to use the most idealised images, so people who've been watching a lot of ITV and C4 are likely to feel less positive about their image in the mirror. Programmes such as 'Baywatch' are also likely to induce a sense of dissatisfaction.

The same applies to reading fashion magazines. Recent experiments have shown that exposure to magazine photographs of super-thin models produces depression, stress, guilt, shame, insecurity, body-dissatisfaction and increased endorsement of the thin-ideal stereotype. Magazines like Vogue and Elle are banned in many eating-disorder clinics, because of their known negative effect on patients' body-image.
Mood

Experiments have shown that when people are feeling low or in a bad mood, they experience greater body-dissatisfaction. Most studies have been on women, who also suffer body-image distortion, estimating their size larger, when feeling low.
Childhood

Teasing factor: If you were teased about flaws in your appearance (particularly your size or weight) as a child or teenager, your body image may have become permanently disturbed.

Touch-deprivation factor: People suffering from extreme body-image disturbance report a lack of holding and hugging as children.
Married or single

Generally, people in stable, long-term relationships (not necessarily marriage – see note on lesbians above) have a more positive body-image than singles. This applies to all ages, although an American study of adolescent 'dating-behaviour' showed that teenagers who 'date' in groups have a significantly better body-image than those go out alone with their boyfriend or girlfriend.
Pregnancy

Several studies have indicated that pregnant women have a more positive body-image than non-pregnant women – although their 'ideal' body shape remains in line with the ultra-thin cultural ideal, their concerns about failing to match this ideal are reduced during pregnancy.
Eating-disorders

Anorexics and bulimics suffer from greater body-dissatisfaction and greater body-image disturbance than other women: these women are even more likely to be unhappy with their reflection in the mirror, and even more likely to see a distorted image.
Lunch

In experiments, women with eating disorders judged their actual body size to have increased after consuming a bar of chocolate and a soft-drink. Eating-disordered women may see an even larger person in the mirror if they have just had a high-calorie lunch or snack.
Shopping

Surveys show that women who have just been trying on clothes (particularly swimsuits) in communal changing rooms of high street stores will be experiencing a higher level of body-dissatisfaction and self-criticism, and are more likely to have a negative reaction to their reflection in the mirror.
Menstrual cycle

Women in the pre-menstrual phase of their cycle experience higher levels of body-dissatisfaction than at other times.
Body Dysmorphic Disorder

also known as Dysmorphophobia and Imagined Ugliness Disorder) People suffering from BDD (an extreme level of body-image disturbance, body-dissatisfaction, self-consciousness and preoccupation with appearance) will experience the most negative reactions to the mirror.
Sport

Perhaps surprisingly, given that their physique is closest to the stereotype masculine ideal, male body-builders experience greater dissatisfaction with their appearance than almost any other males. Body-builders are generally regarded as vain: in fact they suffer from low self-esteem combined with high perfectionism.

One American study indicates that female body-builders, by contrast, seem to have a more positive body-image than other women. A London University study appears to confirm this, finding that women who take part in sport (body-builders, rowers and netballers) have more positive perceptions of their own bodies and increased acceptance of muscular body shapes, despite their divergence from cultural ideals. It is interesting to note that another study showed exercise therapy to be as effective as conventional psychotherapy in treating serious body-image disturbance in young women.

Generally both men and women who participate in sport have a more positive body-image than those who do not.
Obesity

Fat-phobia and prejudice against the overweight in our culture is such that obese people (particularly women) tend to have a very poor body-image – not to mention severe anxiety and depression (studies have shown the mental well-being of obese women to be worse than that of the chronically ill or even severely disabled). These problems are not caused by obesity itself – in cultures without fat-phobia or where fat is admired, obese people show no signs of these effects – but by social pressure and the association of beauty with thinness.
Acceptance of sociocultural standards

Most of us are aware of our society's emphasis on the importance of appearance, and we know what the socially sanctioned standards of beauty are. But not all of us accept or 'internalise' these standards: strong-minded individuals who reject current standards are more likely to have a positive body-image.

number of female decrease by 1. Why would she do that naa

Any nairaland babe can choose for me... And i will rock the style for xmas and even pm u the pix. Am nice

Op. Relax, u will soon get there

He has no point to justify his step for suicide... Infact if he comes back to thread or in his moniker... He's such a coward...

I believe he's somewhere right now reading his thread, either of the three places earth, heaven or hell... And if u can hear me or read my post. My letter to you is "there is a create new account at the top of nairaland.com" feel free to register again...


*back to watching my po**rn*

What i see is a nigga protecting his hard earn chain, praying modestly

emperorchedda: Its hard to love anyone in a forum where everyone forms decency and attach religion to every discussion!e.g a gal that just had sex till day break will come preach to us how much she supports no sex before marriage ewwww And fake people putting up fake profile pictures as well as gender.

it an anonymous thread remember... .

The choice u have is u either trust one or trust none. Happy sunday

Lesson class attend... But lesson not learnt...

merit12: Voice for all the voiceless woman


God bless your big yansh op




Op aare you black?[/color]

are u straight