₦airaland Forum

teechudleyy:
In the old days, in all the histories I have heard and read... And most likely our great grandmothers started having babies at 16, 17, 18. There were less divorce cases then.
If we put aside moral depravity and the need to experience, young love is the purest love. Its not about what you stand to gain, its not even about sex... Its not about being ripe for marriage or if ages wife material. It is not presumptuous or bothered about frustrating things like house rent or riae in fuel price. Contrary to common belief, a teenager is well aware of love and even more capable of responding properly because of the abundance of hormones. The only problem is that the maturity to handle certain sensitive issues is not there.
Honestly speaking... If we all could love like teenagers and if teenagers could reason with more maturity, the world would be a better place.

In the old days, things were more hush hush and there was more shame associated with divorce, etc. It is a pretence to say that our great grandparents were more moral. They just covered things up more.

As for maturity, it is gained with experience, experience of dating. It doesn't matter if you start at sixteen or twenty-five, you will lack maturity in relationships. That knowledge of the opposite sex has to be learned.

A twenty-five-year-old may have a better context in which to frame a relationship, but they are starting LATE.

hmmm.., it's been 100 per cent for the atheist, so far.

So, when women say that they are looking for a "god-fearing man", it has nothing to do with god.

"I am looking for a god-fearing man" is just code for "I am looking for a man who doesn't cheat (even if I do)".

Whoever it is is obviously just playing a game.

But I have had girls give me their number, without me asking for it.

So what?

Girls can be a lot more suggestive than just asking for number.

(omg, lol, just seen you are just a kid...)

olowoba:
Genuine advice needed. No insults please.

Your own story is an insult to yourself.

Michellla:
religious women that dont agree with your lifestyle or..?

What "lifestyle"?

I don't date religious women, period.

Michellla:
are you the man in question? seems like it

Not really. I never date religious women.

Ezerbullet:
Mumu Question

ok, now demonstrate that "mumu questions" are not too tough for your brain..

sickstars:
see minster for defense dept of bad n*ggas.

It is neutral question.

I think the women are giving their honest answer when they say "atheist", but they can't justify it according to their beliefs.

vault:
this is rather a straight forward question na..... who would go for a cheat that pretends to fear God

The man is trying.

But you would rather go with a man who denies the existence of god?

Michellla:
lol.
A guy that consistently cheat is not god_fearing.
i'll go for the atheist.

God-fearing does not mean "without sin".

And a god-fearing man does not die sinless. He is god-fearing because he has prayed throughout his life for help to overcome his sins.

His sin is that he cheats from time to time, and he is fervently asking god to help him overcome his sin.

(I am not religious, btw.)

1. A god-fearing man who has lapses and cheats from time to time, but fervently asks god for forgiveness.

2. An atheist who never cheats.

Which one would you pick?

They could all be mums.

Thiwalade:
A man CaN cheat and his wife will forgive him, but for a woman to cheat and her husband forgive, its unbearable my brother.... Its still logical for a guy to cheat but a babe! it's inexcusable

Folks who cheat can't distinguish between cheats and non-cheats. They don't really know what to look for, apart from superficial pretences.

Add to that the fact that true non-cheats avoid you, and it all ends up with you finding a cheat as a partner.

Dodgy story, circulating mainly in Naija press.

Thiwalade:
I find it astonishing that some ladies can cheat on the one they claim to love. For me, there's no excuse for cheating, once you cheat on me, you're out. There's absolutely nothing that can change that dark spot on my mind. I believe the evolutionary make-Up of a Lady doesn't make them adventurers for s e x. Although it is still excusable for a man to given the evolutional pre-disposition of the Male gender. A WOMAN HAS NO EXCUSE WHATSOEVER FOR CHEATING! I find it astonishing that some ladies can cheat on the one they claim to love. For me, there's no excuse for cheating, once you cheat on me, you're out. There's absolutely nothing that can change that dark spot on my mind. I believe the evolutionary make-Up of a Lady doesn't make them adventurers for sex. Although it is still excusable for a man to given the evolutional pre-disposition of the Male gender. A WOMAN HAS NO EXCUSE WHATSOEVER FOR CHEATING!

Judging from your post, you have a short memory. So, if she cheats, you will quickly get over it.

digitite:
You make a lot of sense. But if you can give examples, I would appreciate it.

Is akin to, if you don't know where you are coming from, you won't know where you are going.

Yes, it is very similar.

It is like walking gently up to a cat. It will run away, because the cat, itself, only walks gently when it is stalking. That is what it understands.

A brief relationship example:

A woman is having trouble with her long term bf. She meets a man with whom she begins to have romantic feelings. The man knows that she must make up her mind without his intervention, so he doesn't respond romantically, but stays friends. He waits for her to either break up or make up with her bf.

A woman who prioritizes fidelity recognizes what the friend is doing.

A woman who does not prioritize fidelity starts to wonder what is wrong with her physical appearance.

So, because she doesn't believe strongly enough in fidelity, she doesn't relate to the man who does.

It is also akin to the saying, "if you smile at the world, the world smiles back." i.e your experiences reflect who you are.

Kolababe:
But the chance is almost 100 percent that a rapist will not have the time to survey, especially if the girl is struggling with him. What will be on his mind is to gain entry

Time is rarely an issue. In fact, the vast majority of rapes are domestic, and in many jurisdictions in Africa not even recognized as rape.

And where the rape is in public by a stranger, there have been cases where bystanders just look on as the woman is being abducted. And people tend to "mind their own business" when they hear screams or commotion. They often pretend it is due to something else.

digitite:
You see, Rome was not built in a day. To me, life is more than eating, sleeping, shitting and even ph--ucking. Personally, I can't get attached to a woman who does not understand this.

But I can shower the Lady with ultimate love who stands by me in my effort to build a formidable castle.

But how do you know such ladies ?

You can recognize in others what you are yourself.

You can fall for others for bad things you don't recognize in yourself.

You will "know" such ladies when you "know" yourself and you are the same.

Glo4issy:
He is average, he bought me q10 recently I feel is just jealousy

How would you react if your friend, who bought you a very expensive phone, eventually started to show you physical affection?

How easy would you find it to say, "sorry (thanx for the phone (sotto voce)), but we are just friends"?

Do you know of anybody else for whom he bought anything expensive? If he is buying expensive stuff for all his friends, then maybe it is normal. If not, then you have to use your judgement. Some twisted men end up feeling "cheated" if the girl doesn't respond with sex at some point. You have to be sure he is not one of those.

I have bought an expensive gift for a girl who was only a friend, and I wasn't interested in romantically. So it doesn't automatically mean anything untoward.

cuteT:
hu guys,wats d difference between love and infatuation?
romeo and Juliet was it love or infatuation?, a frnd of mine told me it wasn't love but it was infatuation.help me out am curious

Infatuation: you WANT or NEED something FROM them, e.g attention, affection, company, sex.

Love: you don't need anything from them. It is just a feeling of good will towards someone.

Drefan:
That'd be counter- productive.

A wise one said once that, "since the hunters have learnt to shoot without missing their target, the birds have learnt to fly without perching.

Which brings the question of why would you think it a precautionary measure to protect your 'treasure island' against violation when you're not certain of any impending danger?

Unless you are anticipating an unpleasant experience to come to actualisation?

But do you really think you have what it takes to ward off the wind of fate?

Wise words.

Rapists would soon learn to shove something else up there first, to remove any gadgets.

And some would go down the other hole. Rapists are animals.

nasha1:
^^^^^
mumu

You clearly haven't move on.

You are in denial, and the whole thing is making you angry.

nasha1:
Like i said i wrote in English.didn't u see where i said i supported him ever since we were dating? what proposal are u talking about?
i beg i have moved on and very happy enjoying life and my money,i suggest u move on too.

I don't understand what you are complaining about.

You say that he was going to marry a family friend. Shouldn't he get married? Why were you upset? You should have been delighted for him.

Horlufemi:
tell a woman you love her all the time, she will leave. don't tell her at all, she will leave. tell her randomly, she will leave. tell he at intervals she will still leave.

women taaaaaaa

lol

Worse is if she asks, "do you love me?"

If you answer too quickly.... trouble. If you hesitate.... trouble.

You have to time a gap of something like 0.57 seconds, no more, no less.

Dudeweedlmao:
In the comment before this one you adviced to "learn about yourself" which implies accruing or gaining knowledge about thyself.

Then you go ahead to say that knowledge is a figment of human existence which implies that knowledge is something that exist in our imagination

Thats some solid contradiction right there

There is no contradiction. We are human, and learning does not necessarily mean "accruing knowledge".

Knowledge changes. It is essentially "firm belief", but it can change. Learning refers to the change in belief, including letting go of belief.

Dudeweedlmao:
Also that bullet scenario is a 1 in a googolplex example that could occur. Am pretty sure every human has once in their lifetime trusted someone, its inevitable.

If you see no choice, that is not "trust". That is necessity.

nasha1:
I wrote in english....

Trying to evade the question?

Would you have given him all that money if he hadn't promised to eventually propose to you?

Dudeweedlmao:
To be human is to be frail
Being human, makes you imperfect

I haven't denied this anywhere.

Dudeweedlmao:
Transcending humanity is impossible for we three dimensional beings

Transcending humanity, while human, is impossible. Then it's up to whether you believe in anything beyond.

Dudeweedlmao:
Trust is not something you can give, its something that must be earned

I disagree. Trust is something you choose to give to/have in something.

Dudeweedlmao:
You can always make up your mind not to trust people, but i bet you if someone takes a bullet for you, by default you must trust that person
This is one of the wonders of our sub-conscious mind, you can never tell it what to do

Nope. That wouldn't make me trust somebody. And I don't want anyone "taking bullets for me".

Dudeweedlmao:
So no matter how much you learn about yourself, you will never know enough, and you will always make mistakes
And keep learning ad infinitum'...

...maybe you will learn that there is nothing to know, and that knowledge is just a figment of human existence.

Dudeweedlmao:
Its never easier to walk away from someone you've loved
You cannot love someone you're suspicious of (that is lust) love and trust will always go together
Thats why heartbreak hurts, its not just about loving someone, its about [size=18pt]them betraying your trust[/size]
Even if a friend betrays you, you'd feel a certain degree of pain (and thats just friendship)

It sounds very fancy on paper, but to do this in reality, its almost impossible if you're not half robot, half human.

It is easy to blame the other person, when, in fact, deep down the anger is with your own human frailty.

How did you come to trust this untrustworthy person?

Would you be angry at a person to whom you gave your trust, [size=18pt]knowing[/size] that they are untrustworthy? Or would you be "angry" with yourself?

What changes if you don't know in advance?

It is better to learn about yourself, learn to make better choices, and move on.

misspicy:
why did I not just advice you to breakup with him or get angry ,I have realised such approach does not solve anything and at the end of the day you might hurt yourself,since you are the emotional type

Angry folk don't learn a simple fact: you are just as bad as the partners you tend to meet.

Until they learn, they keep meeting the same type again and again, getting increasingly angry and hardened, until perhaps they give up.

dtyla:
Alright Bro.

Don;t get me wrong...

[size=18pt]If[/size] a girl is interested, there comes a point where she wants you to be led by your mind, heart and d1ck (even though they may not put it that way). It is a question of reading if, and when.

Too early, and she will feel awkward. Too late and she will usually feel insecure. So, you've got to be laid back, let things take their course, and be able to read the signals, as well as spot the girl players, who act out and put on a pretence.

dtyla:
You sound like a Pro.

Never had the problem.

If you have no problem meeting people, you should have no problem meeting girls.

If you are not led by your d1ck, and you are able to meet her as a person, she will make the rest easy, if she is interested.

So, my advice is not to bother with "game", just with general social skills.

mizlolar:
...and really need some solid advice and a large range of various perspectives.

This is a simple one. You like drama.