₦airaland Forum

Alaanyihaji:
She must be saying " you are too stingy".

I don't see the connection, at all.

Anyway, as it happens, this girl didn't care about money.

Dude, it is all an act. She is just insecure.

Getting intimate would mean that you get close to all her insecurities (usually related to her body).

So many women are just happy to sit in that zone before intimacy.

She will enjoy:

Your attention, while you chase her.

The attention of her friends (if you are the catch you say you are).

The romance of feeling chased.

And she will enjoy and enjoy and enjoy, but the insecurity may not go away.

EnlightenedSoul:
I don't think so @ accusation. She can hardly blame you for it, so I think it was more about needing to fess up and have some kind of outlet.

Sorry to say this, but I find that women don't always use logic, and often speak in riddles.

What got me thinking about this was what happened at her wedding. I had moved, and we'd only kept touch with the odd e-mail. Then I suddenly got an invite to her wedding. She has a nice place in France, and I new it was going to be good. Then things started to go wrong...

I seemed to be missing from various lists and things. Consequently, I almost spent the night stranded at the airport. Also, she had moved me out of the main hotel into one god awful dingy place. And I missed the main dinner. The whole thing spelled the end of our friendship.

Her best friend was the maid of honour at the wedding. It was the first time I had actually spoken to her one to one, and she said some things that were quite bizarre. First, she told me that men and women cannot be friends unless the man is gay. She must have been trying to say something about my friendship with her friend. And she also told me that she used to like stringing men along and hurting them. But, now that her boyfriend has just broken up with her, for the first time she is the one who feels hurt.

Again, women speak in riddles. But was she trying to tell me that she thought I had been stringing her friend along? Or maybe she was just confessing too? Maybe I look like a pastor or something?

EnlightenedSoul:
With my friend, I knew something was up the entire time and I knew it was girl/relationship-related, but, man, I never would've guessed. Suddenly, he was out with it 'when he could keep it in no longer', as he put it. He's in wayyy over his head.

I was surprised with this girl, too. But only because the dude was married, but it makes sense now.

She had been dating what she call azzholes, and she freely admitted that she was attracted to azzholes, and needed her head examined. I am the complete opposite, and I have no idea why she liked me. I think I only ever saw one of these azzholes, the bf she was with when we first met. He was abroad, and she was very flirty with me, even though she was waiting for him to pop the question. He never did.

From time to time she would complain about one azzhole or the other. I think she was looking for romance and love, and azzholes are the best pretenders. Eventually, she moves onto this married man - more stable, and the disappointment is upfront and less harrowing for her,... or so she must have thought. It still hurt her deeply. So, I think she told me, not only to fess up, but to complain about her situation.

EnlightenedSoul:
One of my friends practically blurted out to us an affair he's been having with a married woman for the last year.

She either let it out accidentally, or needs an outlet (with these kinds of things, most people do) and deemed you trustworthy or "safe" enough (far removed from the person and/or herself) to tell you. She may want or need your admonishment. She may not.

I think that you are absolutely right, and this was a large part of it.

I didn't think much about it at the time, but the horrible thought that crossed my mind eventually was that it may have also been an accusation.

We were definitely interested in each other, but she would play hard to get, and I am someone who just goes with the flow. So we just stayed friends. She may not have seen it exactly like that, but may have seen it as me toying with her. Then, when she wound up in this unsatisfactory relationship with a married man, the downside of which was hurting her, she may have been wanting to put the blame on somebody else.

She definitely knew me to be somebody who doesn't cheat at all, and who can say no to the wrong sort of girl, even if I am single. So, to admit to me that she was not only cheating, but doing so with a married man, must have taken some effort on her part.

Rone16:
I'm not that endowed too and I like it .I feel most girls with big asses and boobs attract more guys to them(mostly guys who want sex) and if a guy walks up to me,I'd know it's for my personality majorly since I don't have asserts and the fact that a lower number of Hot guys walk up to you contributes to resisting temptation before finding the right guy....

So, why is the picture in your profile just a picture of your boobs?

Missmossy:
Lol for me its a no.

Liar!

Women watch football just to stare at men with bow legs.

(The OP is not talking about men with skinny ricket leg).

Now, for me, women with bow leg is a turn off.

JoeBlocks:
You think? Mind you I'm speaking about people whom I've known almost all my life, and believe me when I tell you that they're far from being bisexual.

For any straight guy, sexual interaction with a masculine or butch woman can be almost as abhorrent as sexual interaction with another man. If a man is hitting "anything in a skirt", that doesn't make him very, very straight, at all. If he can "hit" a butch woman in a skirt, he can pretty much "hit" another bloke, even if he doesn't do so in practice.

Women are more choosy than men. But men do make choices. In fact, alpha males are more choosy than other males. The don't just hit any member of the female sex. Other males may be forced to take whatever comes their way.

JoeBlocks:
Truth be told, I'm just indifferent about it, a man shagging another man never pose any threat to me or my existence. But, a man collecting 2cups of rice to vote a fool into office pose a threat to me, a man telling me I'll go to hell because I don't conform to his religious belief that even he can not conform to pose a threat to me.

So you see, I really don't give a damn if a man decides to shag another man's butthole, it doesn't affect me anyway. Our government just made it illegal, the same way they made weed illegal, and I know you know people still smoke weed. Lol.

(I don't take any drugs, as a matter of fact. I don't even drink alcohol. Not for religious reasons. I simply don't need all that stuff.)

Now, I find your above paragraph rhetorical. The original point is not whether homosexuality is a threat to your existence, but whether the idea of it disgusts you.

I have been told by homosexuals that the idea of heterosexual sex disgusts them. And I think that for most straight men, who are not in denial, the idea of homosexual sex disgusts them. We should be able to admit this, without the whole thing descending into violence. You don't have to be politically correct, "indifferent" and in denial of what is a harmless biological response. In fact, given that homosexuality is a risky behaviour in terms of health, your disgust has a rational biological foundation.

I have a question for you. Let us say that you had two children, aged five and six at infant school. One day they come home and describe their day at school. The highlight of their day was watching a play: the fairy tale, "Sleeping Beauty". Let us say that the teacher at the school was "indifferent" to homosexuality and, in order to normalize the idea of homosexuality as just another form of relationship, picked a gay version of the play, Sleeping Beauty, in which Sleeping Beauty is a MAN (who eventually marries the prince). So your children see two men canoodling and eventually getting married. Being so young, your children just take it as one of those new facts of life that they didn't know before, and it becomes a normality in their mind.

Would you be indifferent to that?

(That is not a rhetorical question, and my own opinion is not implied anywhere).

My point is that the question does go deeper than "what consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms is none of my business". That is just a mantra that people have been taught to regurgitate. Your words will only ring true when you face the reality and say that you're ok with it. Downplaying the reality is disingenuous.

JoeBlocks:
Can we ask you to provide a link to this study? I'm very interested to see this study because I have a couple of friends who are homophobic, and they're very much straight. Very very straight I might add because they shag anything in a skirt

Dude, "shagging everything in a skirt" is not a sign of being very, very straight. It is just a sign of being out of control. In fact, that kind of promiscuity is closer to the behaviour of a bisexual.

Regarding "homophobia", as a feeling of deep disgust at acts of male homosexuality, it is very primal. It has nothing to do with hypocrisy, and is likely linked to male identity. So, you can feel that disgust, and yet be indifferent to acts of female homosexuality.

MrsPhyno:
Oh well this wasn't really what I expected.

Easiest explanation is that the OP is gay. He cannot see what is odd about his OP.

Eddygourdo:
I am proudly homophobic. I detest homosexuality..

It's ok, you don't sound homophobic.

You sound just like a gay person trying to broach a difficult subject from an angle.

sunkky83:
I knw ur type, there is no point behaving d same way u do

And which way is that?

sunkky83:
Yes, she is bitter because a guy like u put her in dat way. And if that is d only way for her to regain her happiness, pls let her be. Mind u, it's not sexy for u to show ur type of person in a public place like this

I am not stopping her from "being". I am only saying that I think that way of being is very unattractive. Obviously, she will have to settle for somebody who finds it attractive, or change her way of being.

What have I got to do with the guy in question? Women like you who rant without thinking cause their own problems.

sunkky83:
Nigerian guys are something else o. Going through the comments makes me feel like they are so selfish. I don't understand why they give comments just to make d gal feel bad abt her action just because she chose to b happy after all d guy did to her. I believe that if it happens d other way round, u will see things like bitches/hoes aren't loyal or better still Nigerian girls aren't loyal blah blah blah. But if brake up comes frm men, they turn it to bad attitude. Doesn't it mean gals dat seems to b loyal in a relationship wen d guy isn't hv bad manners or attitude?

If being vindictive makes you happy, then you are not a good person. It is as simple as that.

This is a story of a bitter woman Bitterness is a very unattractive and unsexy characteristic in a woman.

GetAvenue:
Thanks bro, I haven't really learnt any PHP MVC, I think this is not the best time to do so considering the time I have to deliver my final system to my client.

I appreciate, your advice though.

MVC is not a luxury. It is a fundamental paradigm specially designed for scalability. If you do not understand MVC, you have probably bitten off more than you can chew.

When a woman suddenly gets angry..

It means that Jupiter has crossed into Sagittarius, and Venus, Saturn and Neptune are lined up.

I hope that answers your question.

Loisemm:
She has my sympathy but she tried too hard to show she 'had moved on'. In the end, she showed that she was yet to actually move on. Paying a professional make up artist and buying a new dress etc all to 'show' a man that was marrying another woman?! Common, that looks pitiable. [size=18pt]The best revenge[/size] is to live your life well not attending ur ex's wedding all glamd up to prove that point. Go out there and live your life well and God will bring another man.

So long as you are thinking "revenge" you are just setting yourself up to repeat your woes, because you are not learning from your mistakes.

The man (boy?) solved the problem of where to live by riding rough shod over his girlfriend of 4 years. How did she stay with him for 4 years and not know that that is his nature?

Answer:

It was in her nature, too. Over the 4 years, when she saw him riding rough shod over other people, alarm bells didn't begin to ring, because she is the same. It was in the nature of both of them from the beginning, so they couldn't see anything to worry about in each other.

Then, at some point he does it to her. She responds by trying to ride rough shod over him.

It is the same with women who go with violent men. These women are violent, and they get their boyfriends to be threatening or act out their violence for them. All the warning signs are there, but they can't see anything wrong, because violence is ok with them, until their boyfriend turns round and does it to them.

But many are so blinded by feelings of revenge that they don't learn their lesson, that it is their own behaviour coming back to bite them. They think it starts with the partner. But, until they learn, they will continue to attract the same kind of partner or become totally disillusioned with relationships.

sainty2k3:
pls start planning another drama cos u will soon hear about another ex of urs getting married.
Beauty can only attract a man but correct attitude is what will keep him..that's the lesson you should learn .

Funny thing is that this akike person is a woman hater lol!

emzila:
YOU ARE STILL THE MOST PAINNED PERSON AND WILL ALWAYS BE. THE GUY FELT BAD AND EXPRESSED IT..

The bit about the guy crying is obviously made up. This is how women try to get emotional closure.

It doesn't work, and they don't realize that us men have seen it soooooo many times that we just dismiss it as part of female antics.

akike:
Why are people so st.upid?

Are you saying that she should have worn a Jean, a blouse, flip-flops, one month weave and dry lips to the party?

I didn't make you st.upid. Go and read for yourself if it mentions flip-flops.

akike:
Appearance means a lot! Misogynist!

It tells the fool that this babe is still looking fresh, cleal, healthy and very positive despite what he had done to her heart!

You would have cried too, biko

The only emotional person seems to be you. Any man who puts up with your kind of bitterness will dump you the minute he finds a harmonious woman. And if he is foolish enough to get back with you because of what you are wearing (lolz) it won't be long before he remembers why he broke up with your bitter azz in the first place, and he'll be off again. Sorry to have to put it like that, but it's the truth.

Edwinmason:
if this article is true den KUDOS TO YOU

It has a ring of truth to it, but is probably exaggerated.

Both of them are still children.

Both of them think her worth is about how she dresses up and dances?

What is he saying about her, and what is she saying about herself?

You will hear all the feminists applauding. They will say that a woman should be valued for her character. Then they will applaud when the woman reduces herself to her appearance.

baranzy:
..but the type of character [size=18pt]most[/size] girls of nowadays exhibit is so discouraging..

That leaves [size=18pt]the rest[/size].

Go and find one.

What's [size=18pt]your[/size] problem?

Dorobuccii:
A true feminist's first answer is not to blame men. I mean feminism is not a woman's matter alone, there are lots of men that are also feminist. Most of the leaders of developed countries are feminists.
Feminists blame the patriarchal system operating in most part of the world that tends to encourage inequality between sexes.

If feminism were about everyone, it would be called humanism.

Pussified men who think it is the way to get a woman, or politicians who want the female vote, claim to be feminists.

On the other hand, insecure men want submission from women.

Feminism destroys women and breeds weak men and weak women, just as chauvinism does.

Dorobuccii:
if you find yourself not being respected then you have to check yourself again and don't come here ranting about women, feminist and virtues!

So many feminists don't check themselves. Their first answer is to blame men.

Any man who tolerates that is not doing so out of respect, but as a concession for whatever gratification he is looking for in a relationship.

Any woman who thinks she can get away with it must know that it isn't her character that the man admires. She knows what her trump card is in the eyes of such men, and she is only disrespecting herself.

So, these types of disrespectful people tend to be drawn to one another.

Respectful folk won't relate to them.

kirchofff:
An average man has pride, also check out other male animals( lion etc) u'll see dat its only normal 4 males to have pride

In a clan of hyenas, the males have the lowest status, according to some studies. Even an adult male is lower status than a female cub.

In a pack of dogs, the dominant dog could be male or female.

Nature is not as simple as males being dominant or "having pride".

netizenbuzz:
And because you were looking to hate, you totally missed the point. My 'leave' religion out of it was basically "what other reason do you have for wanting to be respected besides religion and culture?"

You are in denial.

Why did you mention the Bible when talking about pride, then ask for religion to be kept out of it?

A submissive woman is no use to me. Submission is not respect. It is disrespect. For two adults to grow in a relationship, you need respect, not submission. When it comes to spiritual growth, submission is a lose-lose prospect for both.

True respect is based on positivity and is never one-sided.

If you think you see one-sided respect, look more closely. It is not true respect and it is based on something negative like fear, inhibition or subordination.

I don't know where you are seeing "hate" in what I have said, but I suspect it has to do with your lack of respect rebounding.

netizenbuzz:
Okay guys, let us leave religion and culture out of this. On a personal level, let us know why respect or will I call it submission is so important to you as a man. My reason for this is because, whenever there is a case of marriage failure, the first assumption is that the woman was not submissive enough. Even when there it domestic violence, it is because the woman was not submissive enough. I personally don't have a problem with giving anybody respect, both male and female, young and old. Where I have is problem is men expecting women to be blindly submissive. I mean, you can't keep treating me wrongly, disrespecting me, taking advantage of me and expect me to still respect you. That is just common sense. Women have feelings too and we get tired of bullsh.it too.
Is it about ego? To me ego is as good as pride, and it saddens me when even Christian brethren emphasize on a man's ego as of it is a thing to be proud of. We all know what the Bible says about pride. I also believe submission should be from both parties just as the Bible clearly stated so why do we keep twisting the scriptures. There can still be a head even with equality. I love to liken marriage to the affairs of this country. Buhari is our president but he is still equal in the sight of the law. If he commits a crime against me as a citizen, I have every right to sue him. He has some veto powers but he is still held accountable for his actions. And he is still answerable to us the citizens. We criticizing him does not and will never make him less of a president. Do you get my drift now?
So guys, honestly on a personal level, why is submission/respect from a woman so important to you? Leave culture and religion or of this.
Note; this thread is for mature individuals and it will help me know how to understand & address guys I find chauvinistic & mysoginistic better.

You, yourself, talk religion, but ask for the other party to leave religion out of it.

If you want to be treated fairly in life, start by behaving fairly.

johnydon22:
That's spiderman's handiwork

web connection

inter

net

When two people are in a serious relationship, and considering marriage, they are making a call on behalf of any future children.

Nobody should automatically call it selfishness when a woman has concerns about the financial viability of a marriage. When a woman has stayed loyal to you for a long period of time and them becomes conflicted for financial reason, then she is not being selfish. She didn't complain about your finances all that time when it was only about you and her, but just when possible future children came into the frame.

Of course, I don't know the woman in question, but reading from your OP she sounds a very decent type. I could fault her on only one thing that you said, and it is a very common trait among women. When they feel conflicted about the future of their relationship, they more often than not are unwilling to make a clean break and move on. They end up cheating for that period in a way that, while it is not malicious, is highly inconsiderate.

You have to move on. Your problem is bigger than her, alone. If she is as worthy as you claim, believe me that equally worthy women would have had the same concerns. If you cannot hold down a relationship with her, it is going to be symptomatic of holding down a relationship with any decent women. So your priority has to be to focus on moving on and establishing yourself as financially stable. It is not all about love between two people.

Be strong. A loving woman loves not only you, but her unborn children. That is the practicality of it.

Why do you think this is all true?

Or have you simply accepted it as fact?

hmmm.... it needs a little water at the bottom..



This should be a joke, but, unfortunately, there are some wicked people out there who would hit.. well.... grind or pulse (as water hasn't been added )

What if you'd turned down the offer, and then discovered it was only a stuffed kitten?

Maccoy1:
wow very very true nd also educative

You sound as if it has hypnotized you.