₦airaland Forum

vizkiz:
sorry i don't take commercial buses, i'v gat my own ride

I will soon join you

I'm doing my Nysc in lagos so i hav bin here since August & i was able to observe these lagos conductors closely and i came up with this. Just sit back & Enjoy

1)The I no get change type:-From the moment u enter bus they will be shouting hold your change o ,i no get change o. if you hav #500 or #1000 no enter o!. but d annoying thing is dat look closely in their hand you'll c enuf change. Just ignore them and enter.
2). The Illiterates:- This kind of conductors rarely speak Broken English self not to talk of Pure English. you'll be asking them where exactly is your route so i'll know if to enter, they ll be busy speaking Yoruba for u, you will tell them i don't hear Yoruba, he will start cursing u before u know it he signals the driver to go on. This kind of conductors, u better not say i am stopping at palmgroove just say palmgroove owa if not them go carry you pass your bus-top.
3).The Choirmasters:- Trust me most of this type of conductors here can make good choirs in churches . They can call upto 7 bus-stops they are going to in a second, the funny thing here is that you wont hear any. You will try and listen to them over & over again still u cant hear them. you will now be asking yourself, am i even at the right place to board this bus? Until u ask someone probably inside the bus to ask where the bus is going to, u will not know.
4).The troublemakers:- This set of conductors have troubles written all over them even from their face you'll know. you might tell them am going to lekki he ll say enter, u ask how much? he'll say #150 u will tell him but i have #100, he wil tel u oya enter. But wen he starts collecting money and u give him #100 he go refuse, begin the shout o how i go tak #100 carry u to lekki! other passengers go even plead on Ur behalf but no way. At d end of d day he go stil collect #150.
5). The disgusting types:- Some of the clothes dis conductors wear i cant even use them to do rags. unfortunately, if u sit down close to them, the odor from their body eh, some of them haven't even taking their bath for some days self. U go just dey pray make u reach ur bus-stop sharp sharp,. Some might even stop before their bus-stop self to board another if they cant contain the body odor.
6). The I no get sense type:- Most of this conductors cannot reason well. For instance you are going from CMS to Ikeja, u will observe that only few people dey d bus. when he reaches barracks, normally passengers wil be there enuf, he will be shouting enter with ur #200 o, maybe 1 or 2 go enter, others go talk say na #150 dey hold. instead of him carrying them, he will drive off like that until they reach ikeja carrying only those few people. I notice this one most times
7). The Economist:- I call them Economist cos dey play smart & use their brains sha. u might board a bus from maybe Oshodi to Ajah. But due to most people boarding d bus dont even reach ajah, wen dey driver reaches lekki and finds out that only few people are remaining, d conductor will tell all d passengers to get down & put u people in anoda bus & settle their conductor. They will now from there load anoda bus again back to Oshodi.
. The Frustrating types:- This types of conductors here pains me the most. They might be holding u #200 change, From d time u gave them money u will be telling them Conductor my change o infact everyone he's owing change will be shouting d same. He go say i no get change now, wait make we reach bus-stop. but look closely change go dey his hand o. Immediately u reach bustop he go bring out #1000 note and ask 4 people to share it before u know it they have zoomed off Imagine o
9). The talkative ones:- This types of conductors will be talking o immediately u enter bus till u drop, not even one person will be interested in wat he is saying. Sometimes he will tap u to say something, and if na bad mood u dey dat time, u go just use vex ignore am or even shout for am.
10). Please add yours and lets keep the fun rolling...
Have a nice day all

1) "It’s nothing but masturbation for conditioning coaches." - Andrea Pirlo dismisses the importance of pre-match warm-ups with typical creativity.
2) "One day we won't have the World Cup, we will have
inter-planetary contests." - Fifa president Sepp Blatter
3) "A stadium without fans in the curva is like a woman
without breasts." - Sampdoria boss Sinisa Mihajlovic argues against closing stands as a punishment for crowd trouble, in his own inimitable fashion.
4) "If we beat Costa Rica I want a kiss - obviously on the
cheek - from the UK Queen." - Unfortunately, Mario Balotelli was unable to inspire Italy to a World Cup win over Los Ticos.( so no kiss lol)
5) "As amazing as it sounds, the ball hit my moustache.
It was a moustache goal." - Brazil striker Fred reminds everyone of the old adage that 'they all count' after ending his World Cup goal drought with an unorthodox finish against Cameroon.
6) "I was with the national team at the time. I called
Andrea Pirlo over and said: 'F**k, look who we’ve hired!' But now I thank God every day that we hired Porompopero!" - Daniele De Rossi admits that he was less than impressed when he googled Rudi Garcia after the
Frenchman's appointment as Roma coach and found a
Youtube clip of his new boss playing guitar and singing 'Porompoper'.
7) "I got Robbie’s mobile number and rang him. It went to his voicemail: 'Hi, it’s Robbie - whazzup!' Like the Budweiser ad. I never called him back. I thought: 'I can’t be f****** signing that.'" - Former Sunderland boss Roy Keane reveals why he decided against making a bid for Robbie Savage.
"Take someone like (Parma striker) Antonio Cassano. He says he's slept with 700 women but he doesn't get picked for Italy any more. Can he really be happy? I wouldn't be." - Pirlo reveals that he has always preferred scoring on the field to off it. #lozzz
9) "This is the worst day of my life." - Luis Felipe Scolari. July 8, 2014
10) "The best news today is that football is over for 2014. Any criticism that we receive now is justified. We are standing here like complete idiots and it's completely
our own fault." - Coach Jurgen Klopp calls it like he sees it as Borussia Dortmund end the year inside the Bundesliga relegation zone.
11) "It's probably been the worst three months of my life." - Steve Gerrard opens his heart after leading England to an embarrassing first-round exit at Brazil 2014 just over a month after Liverpool blew the chance to
win a first Premier League title in 24 years.
12) "I lost my balance, making my body unstable and
falling on top of my opponent. At that moment I hit
my face against the player leaving a small bruise on
my cheek and a strong pain in my teeth." - Luis Suarez proves himself as creative and inventive off the field as he is on it, after being accused of biting Chiellini during Italy's World Cup win over Uruguay.
13) "The worst of everything is the attitude of Chiellini.
He's a great player, with an enormous status. It
doesn't correspond with Italian football. A sportsmen
leaving the field, crying and appealing against a
rival. As a man, he disappointed me totally." - Uruguay captain Lugano inexplicably blames Chiellini for a making a meal out of Suarez trying to make a meal out of him.
14) "My fellow players are sometimes occupying the spaces I want to play in. That forces me to adjust my runs, based on the position of my fellow players. Unfortunately, they're often playing in my zones. I
think that's a shame." - Manchester United striker Robin van Persie explains that his team-mates are to blame for his dismal goals return during the 2013-14 Premier Lea
15) "The team underperformed in the second half but
that was normal because it started to rain."
- Ex-Inter boss Walter Mazzarri takes excuse-making
to another level after another poor performance, against Verona. Four days later he was fired
16) "The reality is he's a specialist because eight years
without a piece of silverware, that is failure."- Mourinho takes an umpteenth swipe at old rival Arsene Wenger, who would go on to end his trophy drought with Arsenal by lifting the FA Cup.
17) "I am a sportsman, not a brand ambassador. I am
not the sort of person who poses in underwear." - Manuel Neuer stresses in no uncertain terms that he has nothing in common with Cristiano Ronaldo other than a Ballon d'Or nomination.
18) "They went home from Brazil with no emotion, as if
such failure is normal. Typical for losers... They just
stare at smartphones, with big earphones and
PlayStation in their brains. They don't even know who
they represent or what they are part of." - Boban turns his attention to England and their underperforming players, who bowed out of the World Cup at the group stage and without a victory to their name.
19) "He's worse than Dracula because at least Dracula
comes out of his coffin now and then. He seems to
stay on his line and that's it." - Former Liverpool goalkeeper Bruce Grobbelaar addresses Simon Mignolet's alleged fear of crosses.
20) "Pirlo is that good he meant to hit the crossbar."
- Thierry Henry pays tribute to the infallible Andrea
Pirlo, after the midfielder strikes the woodwork with a
swerving free-kick in Italy's World Cup clash with
England.
21) "I would like to congratulate the mothers of these
players because they have big cojones."." - It's fair to say that Atletico Madrid coach Diego Simeone was pleased with the belief and resilience his troops showed in their Champions League win over Chelsea at Stamford Bridge.
22) "Guardiola is crazy about football. You can call him at
three in the morning to discuss tactics with him."
- Arjen Robben reveals just how committed Bayern
Munich boss Pep Guardiola is to his job.
23) "I don't know if he is the best player of all time, but
he's the best right now. With him, and the stats are
showing it, you start the game at 1-0." - Real Madrid boss Carlo Ancelotti expresses his gratitude for star forward Cristiano Ronaldo, scorer of a frankly ridiculous 25 goals in 14 Liga games.
24) "I do not look to beat records. This happens
naturally." - Cristiano Ronaldo responds with his characteristic lack of humility to yet another historyc-making goal.
25) "If you go and sit with Van Gaal, you'll come out
thinking, 'I'm 12 years old.' He will speak to you as if
you have no clue." - Rene Meulensteen freely admits that he is no fan of Louis van Gaal's people skills.
26) "Go out and show the world that you are better than
Messi!" - Joachim Low reveals what he told Mario Gotze before sending the attacker on to win the World Cup for
Germany.
27) "The fact he was standing there clapping before
running away is a mark of the man."
- Former Manchester United goalkeeper Alex Stepney
recalls the fact that Eusebio applauded him for
making a crucial save from the Benfica legend in the
dying seconds of normal time in the 1968 European Cup
final, pointing out that d Portuguese was not only a
great footballer but also a wonderful sportsman.

which is ur favourite? as 4 me I like 7, 8 12 , 13 23....

just saw this pic and decided to share it.. Engineers & Mathematicians in the house prove if it is credible or not cos av looked at it several times & is ryt to me, doh my friends said it was fabricated. . wat do u guys tink?

yes

a

Revenge is simply a poison meant for others which we end up swallowing ourselves..

chai & I was there just yesterday to buy things.. its such a shame. The owners will be absolutely livid now

Abeg hu dey etioasa 3 for here

dotchez:
mine is in ijesha,surulere

ok dats nice

add me up to d bbm group 7599930F

dotchez:
where are you?

Sowi, I didn't check back, I collected my letter & left immediately. my ppa z in lekki nw, u nko?

Is urs worse?

pesty100: Women wasn't in his plan, he even hated women that is why he allowed them to be tempted by the devil so that he would be justified cursing them

Thats d point

Just finished readin d account of creation in d bible.........n 4rm my understanding,God said everytin he created was gud, bt by den he has nt created woman, again God created woman cos he tot man needed hlp, wot if man needed no hlp?? Now d question is.....does it mean woman was not in d original plan of God??.......pls pals I need ur ans...

15): Wesley Sneijdar gf: Yolanthe Sneijder-
Cabau: She is a Spanish- born Actress, TV host, Model, Designer, Fashionista and Founder of the 'Free a Girl foundation'. Wesley Sneijder and Yolanthe Cabau began their relationship in 2009. They got married on 17 July 2010 in Tuscany, Italy. Sneijder loves Yolanthe to such an extent that he even got a tattoo of her face on his body.

14): Gerard pique gf Shakira: She is the most famous football wag. The Colombian singer is Barcelona defender Gerard Pique's girlfriend. The couple started dating during the 2010 World Cup when they met during the filming of her super hit football anthem Waka Waka. The couple also have a baby boy, Milan, who was born in 2013.

13): David de gea gf Edurne García Almagro: She is a Spanish pop singer,.actress and TV presenter. She is dating Manchester United goal-keeper David de Gea. Goal-keepers don't score goals, but De Gea has surely scored a good one.

12): Chris Smalling gf Sam Cooke: She is an English glamour model and Page 3 girl from Manchester. She got famous for being a Page 3 girl in The Sun, and also won the newspaper's annual Page 3 Idol competition in 2006. Cooke has also appeared in the Hot Shots Calendar. It's been a while since Manchester United's chris Smaling and Sam Cooke have started dating.

11) SARAH BRANDNER - BASTIAN SCHWEINSTEIGER gf:- Tall, blonde and beautiful, Sarah Brandner, girlfriend of Bayern Munich's 29-year-old midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger, is one of the German team's best known WAGS. A swimwear model, 25-year-old Brandner has appeared on the covers of some of her native country's most prestigious titles, among them tabloid Bild and GQ Germany.

10): LENA GERCKE - SAMI KHEDIRA gf :-One of the most glamorous WAGS on the World Cup 2014 circuit is Lena Gercke, the statuesque girlfriend of Real Madrid and Germany midfielder, Sami Khedira, 27. Ms Gercke, 26, shot to fame in 2006 when she triumphed in the first series of Germany's Next Top Model - winning a contract with IMG Models and a cover shoot for German Cosmopolitan in the process. Although most of her energies are now focused on a burgeoning TV career, Gercke continues to work as a model and has appeared in campaigns for Microsoft, H&M, Mexx and Geox among others.

9): EVANGELINA ANDERSON - MARTIN DEMICHELIS WIFE
The stylish wife of Argentina and Manchester City defender, Martín Demichelis, 33, Evangelina Anderson is a former glamour model who now devotes her time to a burgeoning acting career. Most of her credits have come in the telenovelas (soaps) beloved by her compatriots, most notably in long-running series Sábado Bus, La Pelu and La Noche de Mirtha. She also appeared on reality show, Bailando por un Sueño.

:- KARINA TEJEDA - SERGIO AGUERO's girlfriend:- Better known in her home country as La Princesita, 28-year-old Tejeda is one of Argentina's most popular singers and specialises in a genre called cumbia which is similar to salsa and is hugely popular in South America. Since meeting her other half, Manchester City striker Sergio Aguero, 26, her musical career has gone on hold with angry Argentine music fans blaming her sporting boyfriend for her reduced output.

7).Mario gotze girlfriend ANN-KATHRIN BROMMEL :-
25-year-old Ann-Kathrin has appeared onGermany's Next Top Model and has landed numerous lingerie shoots and appearances in magazines such as FHM thanks to her stunning looks. But the girlfriend ofGerman star 22-year-old Mario Gotze isn't content with being a successful model. She's also a keen musician who can play the piano and is launching a pop career in Germany under her singing alias, Trina B.

6). Mesut Ozils girlfriend MANDY CAPRISTO : - Despite being just 24 years old, Mandy Capristo has
already racked up a CV impressive enough to rival that of her other half, Arsenal and Germany star, Mesut Özil, 25. A singer, songwriter, TV presenter and model, the Baden-Württemberg-born beauty started her career at the tender age of 11 when she won Kiddy Contest, an Austrian TV talent show with the song, Ich wünsche mir einen Bankomat. Since then, her career has gone from strength to strength.

5). LIONEL MESSI & ANTONELLA ROCCUZZO: They first met when they were five years old. Antonella is cousins with Lionel’s best friend, Lucas. Lionel moved from Argentina to Spain due to health problems but he has always returned to his home country whenever there were holidays. They were able to keep their relationship private for about a year. In 2011, there were rumors of the couple breaking up. Fuel was added to the fire when Messi’s grandfather, Antonio Cuccitini, was interviewed on a local radio station. Cuccitini told the radio station
that the two were no longer together. The couple has yet to confirm the current status of their relationship. If you believe this might change the game for him, you better go and bet while you get the right sports betting stakes, so you can earn the most. LOL

4).RYAN & STACY GIGGS: Ryan Giggs married his long time partner, Stacey Cooke, in a private ceremony on 7 September 2007.They have two children, both born in Salford and live in Worsley , Greater Manchester, close to where the player grew up. After Giggs became interim manager of Manchester United in 2014, his father told British tabloid The Sun that "I don't see how the players can trust him after what he did to his brother", referring to Giggs's allegedly having a long-term affair with and impregnating his brother Rhodri's wife, Natasha Giggs .Wilson accused Ryan of being"a cheat, unfaithful and a liar." However, Rhodri reportedly stated that he supports his brother in his new position.
They went through a rough patch last year but it appears as if Ryan Giggs and wife Stacey have got their marriage back on track. Their union was rocked after it was claimed Ryan had affairs with reality TV star Imogen Thomas and his sister-in-law Natasha Giggs but the only woman Ryan had eyes for today was his wife.

will be back shortly. .. lemme tidy smfins @ d office.

3). CRISTIANO RONALDO & IRINA SHAYK : They started dating almost three years ago, when Cristiano gave birth to a baby boy and whose mother is an anonymous American lady. Although there were rumors doing the rounds that the duo had possibly broken up because Ronaldo was cheating on Irina Shayk with a Brazilian model, known as Miss Bumbum. However Ronaldo and Irina’s strong and undying love for each other silenced such rumors. The couple was spotted for the first time after these rumors for a match between Nadal and Ferrer; they seemed to be totally comfortable with each other, exchanged loving glances and remained glued to each other rather than the match. The duo have been seeing each other since May 2010, but they go for long periods without seeing each other as Ronaldo is busy with his football assignments and has to split time between Madrid and Native Portugal. Irina who is mostly in New York for modeling work, travels all over the world because of her work commitments. Irina said that she was unaffected by all the rumours of Ronaldo cheating on her. While Urach reportedly went on saying that Ronaldo was obsessed with her and wanted to meet her in person in Madrid and that he wanted everything to be under wraps because Irina would be outraged if she got to know about it, Irina chose to maintain a no comment stance. In fact Ronaldo became furious to hear such stories and said it was absolutely and fictitious and that he was absolutely in love with Irina.