well, we are living in the era of smartphones and silly people....

i don win o

To copy dis tune, press 1

oya ishilove, come and lock am again oya ishilove, come and talk ur own...

Guys, we ar not kids, ar we? Y dnt we do d mature thing and stop quarrelling like gals... (no offence ladies). Tosyn n precious... Come on guys... Truce??

to copy this tune, press 1...

Abubakar Shekau is Boko haram leader.
Imagine he has been kidnapped, and d
kidnappers have demanded a ransom of
10 billion dollars for his release or else he will be burnt alive.
Please let us all donate generously for this young and promising hero of Nigeria.
As for me, I’ve donated 5000 liters of fuel to burn him.
What are you going to donate??

Droidbot:


drunkard!

well, if dats d case, i will not be held responsible for anything i do here cos it can now be argued that i did it under the influence of alchohol...

Psalmwise:


#She will cry#
#You have voilated me i never wanted to do it.
#I have only done it once and it was my previous bf that did it
#He forced me to do it....now you did same[i][/i]stcheeew (while it was happening u were saying ouch ahh ooh dada pls continue ..its paining me..ahh ..no swtpaining)oniranu
Lets us make a blood oath




NB: Nah person tell me oo


Psalmwise THEJOLLYGOODFELLOW

E get one gal wey say make we swear blood oat say i no go leave am... Na immidiately i run leave am for d room... Insecurity dey kill gals shaa...

Ghost mode... As far as my acct is still active, nobody go win dis game...

diddydiva:
I am me

U ar beautiful, u knw dat, right?

ok nah

nigeria... A land flowing with milk and honey...

ok, wat stupid thing will i say that nobody will like??

Akpos sat in a bar and was very moody. Sonny goes over and asks; ‘Akpos, wetin happen?’.
A very sad looking Akpos replied: ‘I borrow Rukewe N2million to do facial surgery, and now I no fit recognize am to collect my money back....

A Warri tenant walked in & saw his landlord’s son trying to commit suicide & a brief conversation ensued:
Tenant: Akpos! Wetin you de do so?
Akpos: I dey try commit suicide, as Papa dey always complain say my life dey worthless!
Tenant: That one no good now… but why you come tie de rope for your waist?
Akpos: Bros, no be small thing o! I bin tie de rope for neck, I NEARLY DIE!

Akpos died and went to heaven where he met Angel Micheal..
Akpos: “So finally I make heaven after all the rubbish wey I do for life… Thank God for God Oooh!”
Angel Micheal: “Oya come enter ya room”
Akpos: “Bros Micheal, abeg wetin dey for downstairs cos di noise na DIE”
Angel Micheal: “Na hell fire be dat
Akpos: “I fit go peep?”
Angel Micheal: “No wahala but we go lock gate by 5pm so if you no quick come back you go just stay hell fire”
…Akpos goes to peep and there he sees all the celebrities that ever lived on earth clubbing and having a lot of fun. Akpos comes back by 4pm and…”
Angel Micheal speaks: “Nice to see you back early my son you are truly a son of God”
Akpos: “For where? I come pack my load before una Lock Heaven....

Akpos in the class
Wale: I saw the strap of your bra..
TEACHER JANET: Wale!! Getout!, no class for u 4 a week!.
Johnbull started laughing
TEACHER JANET: Why did u laugh??
Johnbull : i saw both straps of your bra
TEACHER JANET: GETOUT, no class 4 u for 1 month!....
Teacher JANET bends down 2 pick chalk & Akpos started walking out of the class
TEACHER JANET: Akpos, why are you going out?
Akpos : di tin wey i see now ma, I think my school days are over!!!!!…Ojigbijigbi

No guy in his senses would breakup with his babe just cos she refused to send her nake.d pics to him...
And i always say this, any guy that is pressurizing a gal for her nake.d pics must av an ulterior motive...
#justsaying

united should seriously consider demanding for d 6mil they paid to loan falcao... I nearly cried today watching him... Not so impressed with blind's performance today... LVG shouldnt av rushed him back... Rooney... That should be a word in the dictionary that means fraud... The real definition of fraud...

elampiro:
Second time I have seen Dortmund play league football this season. Their game is uninteresting. One would enjoy a Kano Pillars game more.

I wonder how they manage to do well in d ucl...

u ar saying they shld close dia legs yet 'u dnt reject gifts'.... Hmmm.... U ar steppin on troubled waters dude... Dnt wake d sleepin devil dude...

plus that one they call body magic... The gal will look so sexy outside bt once inside d room alone with her, d magic will disappear.... Abeg, who is fooling who??

i am Lawrence. O. Nwoke.... Friends n foes call me sirlaw... (even my mum). Am 4rm Uga in aguata LGA. I attended Christ d King college, onitsha n am a graduate of Business Management, UNN. I currently live n work in Benin, Edo state... Questions??

knock knock.... Anybody home??

my ex, back when we wia still in skul, decided to test me with fake pregnancy.... see me dey run around dey sweat like fowl which later turned to be nothing.... i even thought of d name i will give d baby... chai... I ended d relationship wen she later told me dat it was all a test to knw aw much i luv her.... and i did it on her birthday....
Guy, leave dat gal... we ar supposed to be d ones testing them, not d other way round....

happy birthday bro

daveP:
done

Thanks for d induction boss...
And happy birthday to u...

april 18