₦airaland Forum

"What next? Are you sure you wanna know?" He asks with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Of course I do" she replies and sidles closer to him. "Tell me" she whispers in his ears.

He looks down at her and his smile grows wider. "Come with me" and without giving her a chance to respond, he pulls her to the the master bedroom. "Close your eyes" he tells her and she obeys.

She hears the door opens and feels his hands behind her back as he leads her into the bedroom. "No peeking" he says.

"No peeking" she replies giggling.

"Good"

"This better be good coz I hate closing my eyes for surprises"

"Oh trust me, it is" he answers and kisses her on the lips "Okay open your eyes"

She opens her eyes and almost collapses at the sight before her.

"What. . . What is. . .is the meaning of this?" She asks trembling.

"Why my dear. . .it's your death scene"

Question - Where is our creativity?

Short Answer - Six feet under.

Long Answer - Nigeria and Nigerians do not appreciate Brains, if it isn't Brawn, then it's utterly useless.

Remember the reaction you got when you told your parents you wanted to paint or be a writer? They prolly looked at you with the expression. . . where did we go wrong written all over their faces. The school system is not such that cultivates the artistic part of its pupils and like everything else, if something isn't properly natured. . . it dies.

[quote author=emeka_gh link=topic=305548.msg4306545#msg4306545 date=1249511350]lol Sisi Jinx, it's not about me. The writer has clarified that the setting is 20th century Nigeria. Hence most of the issues I raise may not apply.
However the core of those issues remains the facts that in 21st century Nigeria, one of the parties will have a mobile phone - at least the rich aunty. The lady, Gladys, can call her from a call/business center scattered all over Lagos.  Hence, gladys may not need to read a map, she will probably call and ask for direction or describe where she is.

Anyway, like I said the writer has clarified, there is no point over flogging the matter. And I'm glad she saw my points.

Peace.[/quote]Tee hee hee. . .came on too strong, didn't I?

Gah! I have to work on that. LOL.

Anyhoo, not trying to beat a dead horse or flog one to death but 'twas William Blake who said Invent your own mythology or be slave to another man’s.


@ Myne White
When is the next chapter?

@ Topic
A tad wordy (Sometimes we really don't have to know everything your characters feel when they feel it).

Feel free to assume your readers are. . . errr. . . SMART!!!  

Like it still.

Welcome Aboard!

[quote author=emeka_gh link=topic=305548.msg4305816#msg4305816 date=1249504312]Lol Myne,

Most writers, I know a quite selfish. They prefer people to read and comment on their posts/write-ups, but they fail to realize that that's exactly what other posters are like.

Myne, you are no exception. You should try to comment on other people's post, maybe then, they will give yours a look over. What goes around, comes around, they say.

Meanwhile, I have some critique for you. I suppose the setting fro your novel is 21st century Nigeria. If that the case. A couple of things are missing in this chapter.

1. Most university graduate are able to afford some form of mobile phone, especially those travelling to Lagos, or already in Lagos. Glady's should be no exception. If she has one, then why is she not using it.

2. Her rich aunt should also have a mobile phone. I don't subscribe to the fact, that she drew a map which she manage to send to glady.

3. Did you say she wrote to Gladys? Naa, I don't buy that. She'll probably call or send an email.

4. Finally, for someone who you claimed is a graduate, and who also claimed she can take care of herself - a big girl - Gladys was portrayed as naive, dump, foolish, stupid and with very low self esteem. This is evident in her getting into a strange car, driven by an unfriendly but handsome guy. And what more, she still admire the interior of the car, not minding if she is been kidnapped!!

Hmmmn, I'm not trying to discourage you, but I would like you to be more consistent with the characterization, and human behaviour.

Carry on.[/quote]1) Guess you haven't encountered people so poor they can't afford mobile phones phones and given a choice to have a celly and putting food on the table, they'd rather bellefull.

2) If the author has already established that GLADYS HAS NO PHONE, what difference does it make if Aunty has one? It ain't like she can call and have Gladys get the message by plucking it out of thin air.

3) I don't know where you are but I'll tell you this. . . not all Nigerians (especially the OLDER set)  use emails and we've already established that she can't call Gladys coz. . .ya know the poor girl has no phone!!!!

4) Errr. . . again I don't know what Utopia ya live but being book smart does not equal street smart. Besides Gladys is NAIVE AND whatever else you called her because she is not in her territory. . .I mean she just arrived in Lagos, no?

Not trying to discourage your criticism but if anything the author was consistent with his characterization. . . you just failed to see it.

Finally, GLADYS admiring the interior of the car while being kidnapped (Hmmm. . .Yeah, we are just gonna ignore the fact that she wasn't really being kidnapped). . .Anyhoo that action can be chucked down to PSYCHOLOGY baby!!! Ya ever been in a situation where your mind just shuts down or takes a flight of fancy as a defense mechanism?