₦airaland Forum

[if you are here to catch cruise and can't read a long explanation, kindly skip this post. I took time writing on this and using some research to look deeply into this issue beyond the surface. If you have your own observation over the years from society and life events, I am happy to read your own independent thoughts]

They are in the survival mode and relationships have always been about survival.

In biology, these survival dynamics are called symbiotic relationships. When humans are in survival mode, their relationships often mimic these exact ecological categories.

A parasite thrives by draining resources from a host, leaving the host weakened or damaged. In humans, one partner handles all the emotional labor, financial burdens, or logistical responsibilities. The parasite isn't necessarily malicious, they are often emotionally bankrupt and using the other person to survive. The host eventually burns out from total resource depletion.

In mutualism, both species actively rely on each other to survive, and both benefit from the exchange (like bees and flowers). Both partners bring equal support, safety, and resources to the table. Even if life is hard externally, the relationship itself is a team. It operates on cooperation rather than competition or exploitation.

Why are we having survival exploitation mentality today? Because Africa Nigeria has abandoned its culture!

In many traditional African societies, marriage was designed for collective survival and legacy, not just two individuals. It was a contract between two families or clans, often solidified through customs like bride price. This transfer of assets wasn't buying a person. It was a formal economic rebalancing. One family lost a valuable source of agricultural and domestic labor, while the other family gained it, along with the right to future offspring to grow their lineage.

If a husband failed to provide or protect, the entire community or council of elders stepped in. It was tied to a larger, predictable tribal framework where roles were rigidly defined but collectively enforced. The rise of modern individualism accelerated by economic shifts, Westernization, and feminism changed the baseline of survival from communal to individual. Feminism legally and economically uncoupled women from needing a marriage contract just to survive basic daily life (e.g., gaining the right to work, own property, and hold independent bank accounts) to being on their own. Now before you think this is about feminism or women bashing, hold on. I have written on this before and I can tell you from history that before the whites came to brainwash us and extended it with neocolonialism, our women were never lazy. They were independent, industrious and entrepreneural. It's this independence that made them fight governments in history especially tax wars. But they were wise, they went into professions that protected the home. They knew the importance of the family and sisterhood. They had support system. Oyinbo no send you na why maternity leave na like war. Historically, West African Market Queens and East African female agriculturalists controlled their own production, held significant political authority, and maintained independent financial streams. This economic independence did not disrupt marriage, it was a foundational component of it. Men and women operated in a dual-sex system because it was a survival necessity. Women controlled food subsistence, local trade, and specific political spheres, while men handled defense, heavy clearing, and external diplomacy. Neither gender could survive or thrive without the explicit, structured output of the other. It was a codependency built on mutual leverage.


European colonizers arrived with a 19th-century Victorian world view. In their view, proper women stayed in the private domestic sphere, and only men should handle money, politics, and property. Colonial authorities systematically introduced cash economies and land-titling laws that named men as the sole owners of land. This effectively dispossessed women who had farmed and traded on that land for centuries (there are videos on YouTube you can watch to educate yourself, mention me and I can refer you to one of them in Nigeria, it's on Sahara page). Tax systems were designed to force African men out of villages and into wage labor (mines, corporate plantations, and civil service). This disrupted the complementary family unit, forcing women into systemic economic dependency on men and the colonial state (in the abroad, that is what is happening indirectly). Colonialism introduced an artificial, parasitic structure. By giving all legal, land, and financial leverage to men, the colonial system broke the mutualism (today we ignorantly blame the men for being patriachial but don't understand the system). Women were stripped of their ecological niche (economic and political autonomy) and forced into a position of strict dependency. When one half of a mutualistic pair loses its leverage, the relationship degrades into subordination. That's why women started fighting for empowerment and backup just in case the man abuses her which if you look at it well, the man wey wan abuse your daughter dem no born am well in the past not because he could not but the woman was sure of her family back up. In fact, women in the past married 2-3/4 times and had children for different men but most times, it was within a marriage because of how we see baaaastards and future consequences but today that one no consain Amina, Ada or Atinuke, Baby Mama to the core!


The modern corporate economy inherited this colonial blueprint. It frames the "corporate ladder" or the "boss girl" lifestyle as the ultimate liberation for women. However, this structure operates on a timeline that often conflicts with biology.

1. Stage 1 [Age 20-30] Corporate Focus: High energy devoted to building capital and corporate value. Peak fertility years are traded for corporate metrics. Ask your medical doctors they know, women are still trying to argue with over 100 years of science by storing eggs in the lab, thinking they can bet against the future. Their income and economic empowerment has been taken away from them to bank against the future.

2. Stage 2 [Age 35-45] Biological Reality: The body's biological clock signals a desire for family and stability. This is when they realize that a corporate title cannot replace a biological legacy.

By the time many women reach their late 30s or 40s, they recognize that corporate milestones do not substitute for the biological realities of family, legacy, and long-term companionship. The corporate system extracts their prime years, leaving them materially secure but emotionally isolated. The maternal instinct can never be bought except they catch that woman young with dangerous ideologies like transgender and all that nonsense.

For the girls now who have three choices,
1. Stay as a good girl in your father's house till you leave (e get why dem de marry woman for her papa house)

2. Go hustle on her own because life is not balanced and her family can't do well (this one has two options, survive in jungle and remember your roots or get lost in modern world)

3. The girl who gets lost in modern world and has to do hook-up or anything to survive at all costs (sometimes you go swear for your politicians because the policies they pass has impact on the girl child and the family as a unit in general but this is not about politics).

When a society dismantles traditional family safety nets and replaces them with an unstable economy, relationships degrade into raw survival tactics. Modern hookup culture is often less about liberation and more about a commodified market response to scarcity and lack. It is the society's response to inequality. Without a traditional structure or an extended family network to vet partners, provide security, or hold men accountable, young women face high economic pressure on their own. In an environment stripped of communal trust and people just want to survive, the interaction reverts to a basic animalistic instinct and trade - young women barter their youth and physical presence for immediate financial support or lifestyle maintenance, while men utilize their financial resources to gain short-term access. The monkeys in Bali are a prime example of this incident when COVID-19 affected tourism and the visitors affected the local economy. Also, when long-term marital security feels unattainable or untrustworthy, interactions become short-term and transactional. You see eh, this thing is not just within Nigeria. When Nigerian men complain about our women abroad that when they see money, the first thing they do is disrespect their husband, it is economics that is their problem. Many of us do not understand the importance of the concept of marriage that's why men say it is against them, women say it is not for them and the government will take care of them (excuse me sis, you are the government's beach pardon my Spanish)!

The Western system rewrites the contract of marriage, shifting it from a structure of mandatory biological interdependence to one of voluntary partnership while in traditional African settings, the survival matrix relies on a balance of distinct, gender roles. The Husband provides external protection, resources, and structural security while the Wife manages internal infrastructure, family operations, and community integration.

When these couples move to the West, the state replaces the husband's unique value proposition. Now, I don't want to write another epistle but I will edit this post by quoting my previous post on this topic. If we sit down and talk dispassionately about this topic, we will see that our ancestors get sense pass sense but instead of us to build on it, we went to take another man's system thinking it will work for us. The paradox of it is that modern Nigerian men who go abroad are highly valued because when paired with modern independent women abroad who have economic freedom (remember this is how African women used to be until they brainwashed them), they find out what is missing. The oyinbo woman is surprised that a man can still provide and be responsible (the opposite of what the western system has done to the man by castrating him to become a sister or so-called partner in his house) while the man thinks it is his deeek that is talking but he is surprised that this woman is not billing him. He is pleasantly surprised by this. If they both have sense, they can build something together. I do not want to now tell you how I have unlearned that polygamy is bad because when you read history and observe those who do it right, you can't but notice the wisdom.

By stripping away modern ideological lenses, we can see that pre-colonial African polygamy functioned as an economic co-op and a logistics network, whereas modern hyper-independent dating functions as a high-risk, atomized competition. In many pre-colonial African societies, marriage was not an emotional selfish luxury of fake love that women are doing today by taming a man and possessing him, it was a joint economic venture. When a woman was wealthier than her husband, polygamy was a highly practical tool for her own expansion. A wealthy market woman or agriculturalist had massive operational demands. By bringing in co-wives (often vetted or even financed by the first wife), she was recruiting trusted business partners. Families have more to lose if they betray themsleves. Co-wives formed a built-in childcare, domestic, and logistical network. One wife could manage the market, another could oversee the crops, and another could manage the homestead and children. They pooled resources, shared the domestic burden, and operated as sisters in a corporate-style alliance. In this system, the husband was not expected to be the sole provider or financial savior. He served different structural purposes for them such as external diplomacy, physical defense, lineage extension, and managing the broader family estate. His value was intrinsic to the tribal structure and family unit as head of house. Today, modern society tells women that working a 9-to-5 job for a corporation and paying 100% of their own bills is "independence" and "empowerment." From a human ecology perspective, this is a massive survival trade-off. I have written about this above. Instead of sharing the burden of life with a tight-knit collective of sisters, the modern independent woman carries the entire weight alone. She must be the sole provider, the sole housekeeper, and the sole parent, while competing in a hyper-individualized economy. "Independence" is often just isolation from a natural human support system. It forces women into a permanent state of high stress and survival mode, which biologically militates against peace and long-term stability. When women are forced to be hyper-independent, they begin to view men solely through a transactional lens (Can he earn more than me?). If he cannot, he is often deemed redundant or "not doing enough." this is how hypergamy has become so common today. This financial bashing completely ignores a man's non-monetary biological and social utility. Attributes like emotional stoicism, physical protection, tribal leadership, mentorship for children, mechanical competence, and steadfast loyalty. Money can buy a service, but it cannot buy these character traits. Some people think it's cruise that there are more widows than women who died first because the man has slaved himself to death for one woman who enjoys it alone while his own grandmother lived till her 90s and his grandfather was kicking and alive in the same age with many wives. The selfish nature of women make them take his assets when he's done at 40/50 these days. He thought he could do it alone but how wrong was he....

Mirasteel:
A country of 500,000 better than a country of 200 million.

Look at how a tiny island country Cape Verde tried in this world cup, I don't think Super Eagles would have done half of what they did.

I'm not defending the super eagles bad performance but China and India have over a billion people and they are not in the world cup so this your metrics no follow. Russia wey big no dey but Uzbekistan and Czechia follow enter. Former USSR

OP I hear you

What about your sister or daughter of this age. What will you advise her?

ogaemma:
The level of corruption and fraudulent activities under Tinubu is highest in Nigeria history.
We may still have more fake Federal Agencies in Abuja operating under his nose.

There was an agency that was in the budget without staff and got allocations

There is collusion obviously that's why he could meet with the legislature too

This is no Frank Abegnale, this is an insider deal gone wrong

Some people want to be Dangote through our budget... Lazy Men

Skydiv:
Deceptive title, don't waste your time and data on the video, it is an old video which has nothing to do with Gbaja's current predicament.

Then why are the mods doing this. SEUN

streetsoldier1:
MAY WE NOT FALL VICTIMS OF WHAT WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.....

MAJORITY OF NIGERIANS ARE JUST REACTING WITH EMOTIONS AND NOT WITH BRAINS....

HOW POSSIBLE IS IT TO BE SHOPPING WITH PARENTS AND GET RAPED? WHAT CONVERSATION OR ALTERCATION DID THE GUY HAS WITH THE KID, WAS THERE CONTACT OR JUST HATE ON SIGHT AND THE CHILD YELLED AT HIM, WHAT IF THE GUY FLED SENSING HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT OR AVOIDING AUTHORITIES COS OF PAPER ISSUES...

SHEY HIM DRAG THE GIRL GO CORNER GO RAPE

ABEG MAKE WE DEY USE SENSE TO ANALIZE ALLEGATION

The headline charged him with rape, the details convicted him of SA. Olodo uprising is affecting all of us. No time to think again, we all just rush to post without reading. It didn't make sense to me too

Originalsly:
Sexually assaulted a child while she was shopping with her parents in a grocery store. What exactly was he accused of doing? ... handling?... touching her inappropriately?... intentionally? ... half baked report. With just the headline and no supporting details I strongly believe the man was wrongfully accused,

Thank you. The mods don't vet what they push to FP, it's just attention they want. Topic will say one thing, the details will say another and all of us, including those who read and those who don't read the headlines will comment.

Are people reading at all? Rape a child in the store? Think again.

Originalsly:
This guy isn't serious. The lady from Abuja been rushed from hospital to hospital ... no antidote .. died. Do hospitals have antidotes for the various snake bites? It seems as though he doesn't even understand how venom spreads . Any snake bite should be treated with urgency. Snake bite is nothing new ... hospitals are. Not saying one must not be rushed to a hospital... if it's minutes away... yes ... and hope for the best. If not... emergency methods ... and sucking out the venom or as much as possible is one ... less venom to enter the blood stream. A tourniquet... first thing... to cut off blood flow and restrict the poison from circulating. He should say what is wrong with that . The person is bitten in the foot... the person should be kept in a standing position... or foot down for the same reason... restrict blood flow and circulation. If possible... heat should be applied .. as in wrapping the affected area with a hit water rag... as hot as possible.... heat can break down the poison... making it less toxic. If the venom is the type that attacks the nervous system ... the victim really needs attention immediately... that one don't waste time. This is the little I know ... and there are others that know a whole lot more . Don't be fooled by "doctor" title ... doesn't seem like this one earned his

Image123:
But Obi told us that there's no snake venom in the whole of Nigeria.

“There is no functional primary healthcare in Nigeria, and no anti-venom available. If a common snake bites you, na de@th. Today, Nigeria is the country with the highest number of people living in poverty.”

— Mr. Peter Obi pic.twitter.com/R1Ys0a2Zm7

— CHUKS 🍥 (@ChuksEricE) February 4, 2026

I will recommend this interview to us including the guy who brought politics to the conversation and is not aware of government's failure on the issue ie if they can see the bigger picture 👇

SixSeven:
I advise everyone to watch this interview and educate themselves. It is so sad that we have more wrong information than correct information and we are not hearing from the experts in charge.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhfhzUheH40


We have the world's leading expert on treating snake bites yet no one has heard from him. E are hearing bloggers and uneducated people talking about snake bites. Chai

Sonnobax15:

Is your mother aware your sister has already clocked 31? .

You see this life . Funny life indeed.

A well educated man will marry a stark illiterate woman and upgrade her . But once reverse is the case, it'll look as if the whole world want of crash

Your family should be grateful to that man for at least agreeing to even settle down with someone whom menopause is already smiling at

It's in her best interest to find a high quality man. It is in her best biological interest too. Unfortunately that is the situation of life. Step up or step out. Even in the animal kingdom, male have to step up to get the female.

When you see red flags but still waiting for VAR....

If you have somebody in Nigeria and the relationship is serious, go back and bring the person over here

There is no society in most western countries. I just posted on the lady in US who was paying the Nigerian young man for love. There is a reason she pays for that companionship. Society is the bedrock of every nation so if you like import people from Nigeria, when their eye clear, it will end in divorce.

Read below 👇
The foundational structure of traditional African society makes marriage and relationships highly resilient due to a core cultural framework of collectivism, community accountability, and the involvement of the extended family. In many African cultures, marriage is not viewed merely as a private contract between two individuals, but as an alliance between two larger family networks and communities. This creates an intrinsic scaffolding for relationships that modern Western societies, which heavily prioritize individualism and personal autonomy, generally do not possess.


In Africa, when a couple faces conflict, the extended family acts as an immediate, built-in mediation board. Elders and relatives from both sides step in to counsel, de-escalate, and guide the couple toward reconciliation. The community provides emotional, financial, and childcare support, lowering the structural stress placed on the relationship.

Maya Angelou spoke and wrote extensively about these exact concepts, particularly drawing from her firsthand experiences living in West Africa during the 1960s. As an African American woman who moved to Ghana, she wrote about the stark differences between the isolated, hyper-individualistic Western family structure and the deeply communal, supportive nature of African society. She explored these dynamics primarily in her fifth autobiography, All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes, and across various interviews

In the West, the nuclear family operates largely in isolation. If a couple experiences severe marital distress, they must often rely on expensive external professionals (like therapists or lawyers) or handle it entirely alone. Without a structural community safety net, personal friction quickly burns out the partnership.


In a famous 1973 interview on Black vs. White womanhood, Angelou explicitly contrasted how women's roles dictate relationship survival.
She argued that the traditional Western man often treats the woman as a "decoration"-someone beautiful but ultimately superfluous to the essential functioning of the state or survival. Because the relationship is built on this fragile, superficial romantic ideal, it easily fractures when the romance fades.


https://www.tiktok.com/video/7630902688108088607

She noted that historically and culturally, the Black woman has never had the luxury of being superfluous. In African and African- diaspora structures, women are viewed as essential, foundational partners in survival, labor, and community building. Relationships work because they are rooted in mutual necessity, shared struggle, and tangible utility, not just fleeting romantic feelings.


Sociological analyses of Angelou's poetry and prose show that she frequently relied on metaphors like "Social group is a fabric" and "Nation is a family". She pointed out that in Western societies, this fabric has been torn apart by capitalism and individualism, leaving people isolated. In contrast, traditional African societies maintain a tight weave where individual actions are strictly accountable to the collective whole.

The pressures of the society there does not allow you to have true love except you are true to yourself. The West is a plantation where you are expected to slave your life out till they use and dump you in retirement. Of course, you will get the benefits of the infrastructure and welfare but they will remind you nothing is free. It is the irony of having so much but not intriscincally happy with it. That is why love is transactional in the west. Remember, love don't cost a thing!

I posted something like this. The guy in the video also said the same thing but women don't want to hear men, they want to hear themselves 👇

There are husbands who have married for financial gain.
Marriage is a transaction if this happens. Most men derive purpose from providing but lose desire when that in itself is abused. A well to do woman knows that a man is taking advantage of her and whether we like it or not, hypergamy is real. So if the man is using her to go up, he better get it fast or has her family's support. In the past, marriages were financial transactions, that's why the royals don't marry below them. It's not just class, it's about protecting family assets and growing it.

A man will become lazy if you give him what he should fight for easily. It will affect the woman and he will switch off his manly instincts because his primal desire to grab his share in this world was taken from him in exchange for pleasure.

Men make money to take on dependents, women make money for independence. pic.twitter.com/MaIMRKlr9Q

— Stone Oreye (@stoneoreye) June 25, 2026

SixSeven:
Aha! This post reminds me of what I red this morning on another thread.

Repost 👇

SixSeven:
☝️ Why couldn't the wealthy side chick hire a gigolo since she can afford to buy one to satisfy her?

According to Vilar, a wealthy mistress would never hire a gigolo because doing so would completely ruin the psychological payoff she is seeking. A gigolo operates purely on a financial transaction. He is an employee who must be paid for his time, his attention, and his performance. For a woman who already has vast financial resources, purchasing a man's attention is entirely uninteresting. Wealthy individuals do not get a dopamine high from buying things they can easily afford, they get a high from obtaining assets that cannot be bought with money.

Vilar would argue that the mistress's true objective is the ultimate conquest - subverting another woman's "property" for free. Taking a married man away from his family - inducing him to neglect his wife and children to serve her desires proves her supreme value and power. It confirms that her charm, sexuality, and status are so potent that a man will willingly sabotage his own life just to be near her.

Additionally, a gigolo offers no challenge and no authentic ego stroke. He performs because a contract requires it, whereas a married husband breaks societal vows, faces immense personal risk, and sacrifices his domestic peace out of pure infatuation. To Vilar, the mistress doesn't want a transactional servant, she wants a voluntary slave. Capturing a husband who belongs to another woman provides the high-stakes validation of absolute desirability, a psychological victory that no amount of money could ever buy from a professional.


All animals are playing their games.

Now your mention has made me ask if there was a contradiction because this scenario is different.

This scenario does not contradict her theories rather, it underscores her core premise that romantic love is a carefully constructed illusion designed to mask the pursuit of leverage, validation, and control. While a wealthy mistress avoids gigolos because an open, contractual exchange offers no psychological conquest, the online romance scam operates on entirely different emotional mechanics. Hiring a professional escort forces an individual to confront an ego-shattering reality that the attention is strictly timed, transactional, and devoid of authentic desire. In contrast, the long-distance facade allows the woman to protect her narcissistic ego by purchasing a grand narrative of star-crossed devotion, believing she is adored for her intrinsic soul rather than her financial utility.

Furthermore, she would argue that this monetary arrangement is not perceived by the woman as a fee for service, but rather as a strategic investment in future dominance. By financially stabilizing a younger, highly desirable male under the guise of helping him overcome geographic or bureaucratic hurdles, she convinces herself that she is tethering him to her through permanent gratitude and debt. The constant stream of digital affection, praise, and submission from the younger man feeds the illusion that her feminine charms have successfully tamed a youthful prize. She views the money not as a payout to a servant, but as a tool of leverage tool of leverage to keep an long-distance partner dependent on her approval.

Vilar would conclude that the American woman has committed the ultimate tactical error by stepping into the traditional role of the male provider. Instead of positioning herself as the prize to be won, she has allowed herself to become the laboring entity, working in the United States to fund the lifestyle of a man who offers nothing but manufactured praise. To Vilar, this represents a pathetic downgrade from the position of the tamed domestic woman who successfully extracts resources from a man while maintaining her freedom.


Vilar would highly praise the Nigerian romance scammer as a masterful strategist who has successfully weaponized female psychology against a woman. He recognized that a 54-year-old woman, cut off from traditional market currency due to age, would be desperate for validation and absolute submission. By treating her like a sovereign queen through a screen, he successfully conditioned her to associate her own self- worth with the monthly wire transfers she sends him.

MIKOLOWISKA:
This one is costing her o although all na equality they've been clamoring for

Aha! This post reminds me of what I red this morning on another thread.

Repost 👇

thorpido:
Changing the uniform is very unnecessary and misplaced.That uniform is iconic and should be left that way.

Some people want to make money from it. That's Nigeria for you. That was how someone changed the licence plate by adding the map of Nigeria to it.

BTW, the poll question is an example of olodo uprising

Kenneth, campaigning on distraction won't build attraction, it only gives your rivals traction!

Kenneth Okonkwo's relentless media attacks on Peter Obi are a critical tactical error that actively undermines Atiku Abubakar's 2027 presidential campaign. As Atiku's newly appointed spokesperson, Okonkwo's primary mandate is to sell a compelling alternative vision for Nigeria. Instead, by using national television to litigate past grievances and defend himself against an 8 billion defamation lawsuit, he violates a fundamental rule of political communication, he allows the opposition to dictate the narrative.

This obsession traps Atiku's campaign in the past. Every minute spent debating Obi's character is a minute stolen from promoting Atiku's manifesto. Rather than building momentum for the African Democratic Congress (ADC) ticket, the campaign's debut message is consumed by personal friction. This leaves voters with no clear understanding of what Atiku actually stands for.

Furthermore, these aggressive assaults actively alienate key voting blocs. Obi retains a fiercely loyal following among Nigeria's youth and southeastern voters. By launching highly personalized attacks on a figure these demographics revere, Okonkwo burns crucial political bridges and drives vital swing voters away from Atiku's coalition.

Ultimately, this strategy validates the warning that campaigning on distraction kills attraction. By keeping Obi's name at the center of national discourse, Okonkwo provides his rival with free publicity. Instead of diminishing the opposition, the relentless focus elevates Obi and puts his principal Atiku down.

☝️ Why couldn't the wealthy side chick hire a gigolo since she can afford to buy one to satisfy her?

According to Vilar, a wealthy mistress would never hire a gigolo because doing so would completely ruin the psychological payoff she is seeking. A gigolo operates purely on a financial transaction. He is an employee who must be paid for his time, his attention, and his performance. For a woman who already has vast financial resources, purchasing a man's attention is entirely uninteresting. Wealthy individuals do not get a dopamine high from buying things they can easily afford, they get a high from obtaining assets that cannot be bought with money.

Vilar would argue that the mistress's true objective is the ultimate conquest - subverting another woman's "property" for free. Taking a married man away from his family - inducing him to neglect his wife and children to serve her desires proves her supreme value and power. It confirms that her charm, sexuality, and status are so potent that a man will willingly sabotage his own life just to be near her.

Additionally, a gigolo offers no challenge and no authentic ego stroke. He performs because a contract requires it, whereas a married husband breaks societal vows, faces immense personal risk, and sacrifices his domestic peace out of pure infatuation. To Vilar, the mistress doesn't want a transactional servant, she wants a voluntary slave. Capturing a husband who belongs to another woman provides the high-stakes validation of absolute desirability, a psychological victory that no amount of money could ever buy from a professional.


All animals are playing their games.

Esther Vilar would argue that the husband is the true victim in this scenario, completely blind to how he is being used. Because the wealthy mistress does not need his money, she is free from the financial traps of marriage. This independence allows her to offer pure, zero-responsibility pleasure, which Vilar considers the only form of real desire in a world where wives often trade youth and sex for financial security.

In reality, the wife and the mistress are tag-teaming the man to drain his life force. The exhausted wife uses the children and domestic pressure to keep him working a soul-crushing job. Meanwhile, the mistress acts as a release valve, giving him just enough sexual dopamine and ego-stroking to keep him from quitting or breaking down. Together, the wife consumes his paycheck, while the mistress consumes his peak vitality.

The powerful control the mistress holds over him-which looks like juju is just basic psychological conditioning. By pampering him and granting his fantasies, she turns him into an addict. When he lashes out at his wife to protect the affair, he is not a powerful man in control but a heavily manipulated hostage defending his supplier.

The husband believes his affair is an act of rebellion and a proof of his masculinity, but Vilar would argue it actually exposes his total lack of an internal identity. Because men are conditioned to see themselves only through the reflection of female approval, he becomes entirely dependent on the mistress to feel alive. Stripped of the synthetic worship she provides, his ego would instantly hollow out. This dependency is precisely what transforms marital conflict from a private family matter into a theatre of survival. In Vilar's view, the true purpose of marital conflict is never about resolving issues or finding truth, it is a battle for ownership and compliance. The wife fights to reclaim her economic investment and reassert control over her labor source, while the husband lashes out because her complaints threaten the delicate fantasy world keeping his fragile ego intact.

Ultimately, he remains a pawn caught between two distinct systems of leverage, destroying his own domestic stability just to maintain a temporary illusion of power that he neither truly owns nor controls.

Polygamy pays women at the end of the day. Some of them just want a part time relationship. She doesn't want the obligation of a full-time relationship but she is willing to pay to keep her own life uncomplicated, uninterrupted, and free of his daily baggage. Why can't she pay a single man to be her gigolo? She is choosing the benefits of a polygamous structure (shared access, low daily maintenance) while completely avoiding the downsides (the household stress). For some women who already have money and status, a full-time, traditional husband is more of a liability than an asset. By keeping him on a part-time basis, the wealthy side chick ensures that her time with him is pure dopamine. She uses the shared structure to her advantage, leaving the wife to carry the heavy lifting of reality.

Many African women historically preferred polygamy over Western-style monogamy because it gave them independence.
She does not want to be a monogamous wife to this man because she knows that means dealing with his baggage every single day. She prefers the quasi-polygamous structure because it keeps her completely free. She doesn't have to raise him, clean up after him, or fund his life. The wife at home is doing all the work of keeping him presentable. When a woman doesn't need a man's money, she often prefers him part- time.

Let me give you a vilarian analysis of the situation 👇

Not interested in getting username for my phone number. That's too much intrusion of privacy. There was a reason BBM had pins. They also say they have reserved some usernames to prevent impersonation 🤡

If it is not broken, don't fix It Meta. I am afraid this will be the last of WhatsApp because people know why they use WhatsApp not Facebook, X or IG. Human beings know how to adapt if you give them change they didn't ask for.

regenerateman:
I said in the other thread that if those guys press Prince Adeyemi Adeniyi further, he might spill beans and it will consume many people in PBAT government. I suspect this council was allegedly established by COS and PBAT was never in the picture of this council or agency. The prince might have paid large sums of money to secure the appointment as DG. Similarly, he might have stopped to co-operate with them in sharing the council money. This might be the reason they blew the lid off.

He didn't say much in that interview because he kept on saying the case is in court but seriously this is too much


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPyfnW7OOMs

Dogalmighty17:
Where are the governments supporters. Come and defend this.

This issue is too serious for us to play politics with it please. This is about Nigeria. One day Tinubu will go but Nigeria will remain. Country first comrade.

There is no way this man could have pulled this off without having an insider. This is an impeachable offence but we play too much politics. If an ordinary citizen can successfully insert an unauthorized line-item into the highest financial law of the country, it shows massive institutional failure at the very top. Countries will not trust us anymore because they don't know who's who and what's really what anymore. Imagine holding meetings with other countries and they think they are talking to Nigerian government. This is a big slap on our face and it must not be taken with kids gloves or any kind of politics.

Last week, I posted how Obasanjo reacted to allegations of his wife's involvement in the land deal. I have no expectation from this government because he never told you he will fight corruption but to show you how far we have fallen, Obasanjo had to use that example to demonstrate his seriousness about fighting corruption and said he was embarrassed his family was involved. He sacked the housing minister then. There is a lack of consequence in this administration that's why anything goes.

SixSeven:
💯
During her husband's presidency (2010–2015), critics frequently accused her of overstepping her constitutional boundaries by trying to dictate political appointments and warring with state governors, notably Rotimi Amaechi of Rivers State.

Maybe our people choose to have selective memory. While addressing Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) supporters at a rally in Calabar, she explicitly told the crowd to assault political opponents who campaigned under the slogan of "change". She openly stated, "Anybody that tells you change, stone that person."

In 2012, the Governor of Bayelsa State abruptly appointed her as a Permanent Secretary in the state's civil service. This sparked widespread public outrage, with critics calling it a "national embarrassment" and a textbook example of nepotism, given that she had been away from active civil service for over 13 years.


Buhari's own is recent except people still want to have selective amnesia.

Turai and Stella were silent in their own style but no one can forget the role of Turai when her husband was AWOL. When President Yar'Adua was hospitalized for months in Saudi Arabia between 2009 and 2010, Turai strictly controlled all physical and information access to him. She blocked senior government officials, including the Vice President, Goodluck Jonathan from seeing or speaking to the President.

Why We Seized Turai Yar’adua’s Land - Abuja Minister
https://www.nairaland.com/1278999/why-seized-turais-land-minister#15550811

In 2008, Turai used her position to host a massive high- society fundraiser for her NGO to build an International Cancer Centre in Abuja. Billions of Naira were donated by state governors, wealthy businessmen, and government contractors. Decades later, the project remains a ghost town. The multi-billion-naira facility was abandoned, and hundreds of vehicles and specialized medical equipment bought with public and donated funds were left to rust away. Investigative journalists and government health ministries launched probes into the project, questioning how billions vanished while ordinary Nigerians continued to fly abroad for cancer treatments. In the final days of her husband's administration in 2010, the land was allocated to Turai's NGO, the Women and Youth Empowerment Foundation (WAYEF). Later, the government revoked it, claiming it was public land meant for the African First Ladies Peace Mission. It was subsequently handed over to her successor, Patience Jonathan. Turai sued the sitting government and Patience Jonathan, refusing alternative land offers. In 2013, the court ruled in Turai's favor. The FCT Minister publicly blasted her, accusing her of using her twilight days as First Lady to illegally convert public institutional land for personal NGO use.


The biggest political scandal tied directly to Stella Obasanjo broke in early 2005, regarding the privatization of federal government property in Lagos. An anonymous whistleblower revealed that 207 prime government-owned properties in luxury estates like Ikoyi were being sold quietly at highly reduced, non-market prices to top officials. To the deep embarrassment of President Obasanjo-who had campaigned heavily on an anti-corruption platform-almost the entire Abebe family (Stella's maiden family) was discovered on the list of secret buyers. President Obasanjo was forced to publicly cancel the entire housing deal and summarily fired his Minister of Housing, Mobolaji Osomo, for mishandling the allocations. Newspaper editors who labeled her "Greedy Stella" over the affair were arrested by state security, causing a massive free-speech outcry.

Unlike previous administrations where the wives of the Vice President and state governors enjoyed prominent public platforms, Stella was heavily criticized for attempting to centralize all female political power in Nigeria under herself. In 2003, she summoned the wives of all 36 state governors to Abuja and explicitly declared, "There is only one First Lady in Nigeria." She banned them from using the title "First Lady" within their respective states, ordering them to restrict themselves to "Wife of the Governor." Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka and other civil rights activists fiercely criticized her behavior. Soyinka denounced her as "arrogant" and publicly urged President Obasanjo to restrain his wife's unconstitutional excesses, calling the office of the First Lady an ostentatious, vulgar carry-over from military dictatorship.

Tragically, on October 23, 2005, Stella died at the age of 59 due to severe surgical malpractice. Her death itself became a flashpoint for intense public criticism regarding the elite's behavior. The irony of her death was not lost in sight when it was revealed that she had secretly flown to Marbella, Spain, to undergo an elective cosmetic surgery (liposuction) right before her 60th birthday (Her Spanish surgeon was later convicted of negligent homicide after puncturing her internal organs and leaving her unattended for hours).

The Nigerian public reacted with a mixture of grief and anger. Critics noted the tragic irony that while ordinary Nigerians were suffering under a collapsing national healthcare system, the First Lady flew to an expensive European resort town for an elective aesthetic procedure.

Since Abacha died, we have had a first lady die, a president fall ill, another president fall ill, a president's wife (Aisha) complain about state hospital but the country never learns, it's just one person who takes over after the next and nothing changes.

Please continue to post facts that this olodo uprising will refuse to do a simple google search on their phone and be pushing ideas in their head without verification. You don't even need to be alive at that time but simple search will save you. I am not interested in the women because they are spouses to the person we elected. They have no business with us and while Buhari was criticized for saying his wife belonged to the kitchen and other room, maybe he knew what he meant. If that's the way he wanted his wife to be, who knows her better than he does? Because all the Aso Rock trouble we heard after that was enough to understand the statement. Anyway, there is no office of the first lady and we need to stop indulging them. It's corruption and no one will want to touch the President's wife but we must give commendation to Obasanjo for how he handled the Ikoyi houses allocation scandal. When the whistleblower leaked the list of secret buyers, revealing that almost the entire Abebe family (his wife Stella's relatives) had been allocated prime government property at heavily discounted prices, Obasanjo did not attempt a cover-up. Despite the immense pressure it put on his marriage, he immediately canceled the entire luxury housing deal. To prove his anti-corruption drive wasn't just rhetoric, Obasanjo immediately fired his Minister of Housing, Mobolaji Osomo, for allowing the non-transparent, nepotistic allocation process to happen in the first place. He made it clear that nobody-regardless of their connections to the First Lady was above the law.


Again, I want that office removed although it does not exist because we feed it oxygen. I can commend all the first ladies for their NGOs and empowerment schemes but I also consider those things as conduit pipe to siphon state money indirectly. They can be an interference to the Ministry of Women's affairs. IYKYK

1. The Fabian Osuji Budget-Bribe Scandal (Obasanjo Administration): In March 2005, President Olusegun Obasanjo fired Education Minister Fabian Osuji after a federal investigation revealed he had extracted 55 million Naira from government funds to bribe National Assembly leaders to smooth the passage of his ministry's annual budget.


2. The Adolphus Wabara Budget Facilitation Scandal (Obasanjo Administration): In April 2005, Senate President Adolphus Wabara was forced to resign his position after he was indicted alongside other lawmakers for demanding and sharing the 55 million Naira bribe delivered by the Education Ministry to compromise the federal budget approval process.



3. The Adenike Grange Unspent Budget Scandal (Yar'Adua Administration): In April 2008, Minister of Health Adenike Grange and her minister of state resigned under pressure after violating a presidential directive to return 300 million Naira of unspent 2007 budget allocations to the treasury, choosing instead to share the money as holiday bonuses among top ministry officials.


4. The Patricia Etteh Extrabudgetary Contract Scandal (Yar'Adua Era): In October 2007, Speaker of the House of Representatives Patricia Etteh was forced to resign after a parliamentary investigation panel found she had bypassed due process to award unauthorized, extrabudgetary contracts worth 628 million Naira for house renovations and vehicles.

5. Iyabo Obasanjo And Others Charged Over Embezzlement
https://www.nairaland.com/125952/iyabo-obasanjo-others-charged-over

Mordecai:
You create a problem where none existed.

You get people to sit down and agree to a non-enforceable contract.

Then you publish a glowing advert congratulating yourself for a job well done.

Balderdash.

It is the classic playbook of the APC led government and then when you point out the insanity, they try to gaslight you or resort to insults.

muykem:
Maybe we have not seen a capable hand like Ribadu before.

Yes I agree with you. I am an observer of the olodo uprising

Never in our democracy have we seen the office of the NSA so politicized and advertised like this.

It's why I keep calling it

National
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Under Section 14(2)(b) of the 1999 Constitution of Nigeria, the security and welfare of the people is explicitly declared as the primary purpose of government. As the Head of State, Head of Government, and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces, the President of Nigeria bears the ultimate constitutional responsibility to secure the nation, its citizens, and its territorial integrity.

In normal times, friction between national security chiefs and powerful politicians is handled entirely in secret. Today, the ONSA's operations are a staple of media gossip. In past administrations, the Minister of Information or presidential spokespeople handled political messaging, while the Ministry of Defence spoke on military operations. Currently, the ONSA is regularly used as a primary shield against critics of the administration. When the government faced heavy criticism over economic hardships, it was the NSA who publicly clashed with opposition figures and openly lambasted critics. This has fundamentally transformed a secretive security office into a front-facing political mouthpiece

Okoroawusa:
🤣🤣... this one don begin dey change mouth. We no send una o!

"We no send una"

It's amazing how you lots think. People you claim to serve are "una"? Don't worry. Time changes yesterday.

Dogalmighty17:
For a president who claims he doesn't follow social media, he sure seems to keep abreast of everything going on there.

The noise was a lot so they had no choice but to listen. Even if they pretend they don't care, they do. And the people must speak out more about what really matters to them. Politicians fear the people in their numbers.