₦airaland Forum

Five Funny ways on how to get attended to fast/jump queue legally in a bank

In Nigeria today,most of the banks we have are very slow in their service,customers would have to wait on the queue for many minutes before they could be attended to.


Now I have devised five funny ways in which you can get answered to on time,believe me,noone would fight or argue with you when the bank cashiers are attending to you ,even if you are the last person on the queue..let's get to it already..

1.Get a Baby!!(lol,not for men though)yea,I am not telling you girls to go and get pregnant oo...just carry the baby of ur neighbour(tell d mother you are going to d bank !!don't let them lynch you ooo!!)when you get inside the bank,fill ur teller,go on the queue and pinch d good baby,when the cry of the baby rings the air..everybody on the teller would be pleading with the cashier to attend to you,(don't forget to buy biscuits for the cool baby oo)

2.Fall down and Faint!!(yes..men this is where you come in..its simple,stay on the queue and just fall down and close your eyes!!and make it some 2 minutes before you open your eyesviola!!you are a celebrity!!anytime you enter the bank,you will be answered to immediately (just pray your neighbour, abi your gf/bf no dey in the bank that day you fall oo)

3.ACT CRAZY LIKE TERRY G..if you don't know how to craze..abeg don't use weed oo..just take dry pepper with you and put it in ur bums..am telling you the craze that will be emanating from you will make headlines...(Lol)

4.Blow Grammars out of proportion: You don't need a dictionary, just go to Patrick Obahiagbon's social media handles,You will find your tools there..When you enter the bank, cooly fill your tellers, nope don't stay on the queue, just walk straight to the cashier....and BLOW YOUR GRAMMARS.


http://fresh-folks-ville..com/2015/08/five-funny-ways-on-how-to-get-attended.html?m=1

Iamoluwaslim:
Durokifa Tobiloba Aderoju. For yoruba!

u are welcome sir..wats ur agg?

Thank u lord!!!!since dis days!!!confirmed

Wow!!guyz I have seen it oo...wow!!u won't believe it

See dem fighting over FTC I was winning effortlessly in d previous threads..I got d most FtC..

By d way since when I was born..now DAT I grow up...I know only 2 universities exist in Nigeria...

OAU and other universities

D cutoffs u see up dere is fake..we have polished d matter in d group since morning.. Buts let's wait and see..

martootoo:
cuz am aspirin 2 nta uniosun bt nxt yr am rytin anoda jamb i dnt lyk d course i was offered

so ryt now u are a student of uniosun..BT u don't like what u were offered...hmmn by d way..which course were u given dat u dislike?

Crispels:
Wow bro! am a student of History and International relations.... Can we chat sir?? will like you to answer some questions for me.

sir..how s did course?have u graduated...? And how are u fairing after graduation? I love did course and am going for it...

DEEDEE111:
Hi all, pls is agg of 264.5 good for Dentistry?

hmmn if I say yes/no..will DAT change d cutoff ?will DAT give u automatic admission... To satisfy urself..check past years dentistry departmental cutoff ..check d highest and d lowest and put ur mind at ease

starlingslimnet:
To start with, we have little or no knowledge as per what Law cut off will be but, we are not at all at disadvantage in speculating what it might be(Pardon the prevarication). Judging from the general performance of Art I will make a speculation that Law will not in anyway be less than 260.

2000+ qualified for law...it would be higher Dan 260

starlingslimnet:
All is set then..... It is necessary we meet on Matric day....so we can get to discuss things and make things work....with you in the group I believe we have succeed already

allryt bro

olokuntemidayo:
guys abeg ep me naaaaa....dnt let m die of fear....going for medicine wit an agg of 278.5

nice agg..u might qualify...by d way its a lie u can't die of fear...you will grow stronger

dokdave:
You will be enlightened more on this when you get on campus, but in summary Geology is one selling discipline in the nation presently. Because of this, the road to become a graduate seems rough. But you don't have to be scared anyway. TrustwitOAU

hmmn..nice diplomatic answer

starlingslimnet:
Looking at the situations of things and my plan, I don't think I will be crossing. I have books to write; which as of now listed four.And I wanna get together a musical group and follow my musical career next year alongside with Study. Crossing to Medicine will crush and crash my plan...

bro I wanna be in ur musical group..u have nice plans...similar to mine though

AbimbolaGCFR:
But in this article, there's still no evidence that she wasn't used by another person.
Remember that the trader made it clear in her statement that one man brought her and dumb her beside the road from the car, and immediately zoomed off.
Though she may not be prostitute, but you know these men are very desperate for money that they can even use there own mother for ritual let alone that innocent girl.

My own question now is even if she'd been truly sick, why didn't that unknown man that took her in his car take her to the nearest hospital instead of dropping her beside the road without explaining anything to anybody and zoomed off immediately.

Hùn be suspicious!

correct!!something is fetchy...people don't just get sick and tired and starts vomiting blood

sorry!!but I still don't believe...sometin must have been involved...b4 a young gal just slumps down and start vomiting blood!!if she is not a runs gal..den maybe she aborted or sumtin...
d only reason I can believe is if we have a nairalander(maybe u op)who can say he/she got sick and start vomiting blood in a big way!!!!??

rip gal..but d death isn't natural

the fool married her cos of d money..who is supposed to change religion?d groom or d wifey?I am telling u...d groom married d alhaji..d marriage can not last .mark my words..d bride is d head of d house here..

starlingslimnet:
Chairman I dey on top my babe they greet you

u seem to be very happy..men..
with all ur comments

.sighting babes here and dere.
.maybe u are related to d vc

lildrop:
What is dx one saying? Dey gave us dox questions bfr d exam now



Do yu xpect same performance frm PD students nd JAMBITES

u really mean dey gave u d questions b4 d exam?

ECUBE30:
Pls which states are d ELD states

states that not in the western region...states like zamfara,anambra,delta..etc...states from d northern and southern region...I stand to be corrected

Kingoflotto:
17k

pls how do I insert sim into y6

Methylblack:
I dnt feel like disclosing dat here(but its high enough to earn me d course)....gud to meet u bro...looking forward to seeing you in class soon

if u can't disclose DAT here...where can u den talk abt it?tell us ur agg jor and let d devil be ashamed

starlingslimnet:
Bad market for Law, Medicine and Accountancy candidates.

dose who will enter will enter and what of English and electrical engineering candidates?

well wit d statistics am seeing up dere..I think its only law and medicine aspirants that have to worry most..but all is well

dokdave:
Good day to you all,

We apologise for our dormancy for this past few days, we have been held down cause of the ongoing cultural activities in ile-ife, as a result of this we have been unable to get in contact with the rightful authorities.

As regards the cutoff marks, information had been reaching us that the list is being collated and would be disseminated this weekend or latest next week.

As part of our programmes, we duly ensure with utmost concern that your aim of becoming a bona-fide student of Great ife doesn't see its last light until it has been fully achieved. For those of us that didn't meet up the general cutoff mark of 200, we advise you to get a form and register for the pre-degree programme of OAU.

For more detailed information like us on our Facebook page
www.facebook.com/TrustwitOAU

are u sure abt d cutoff coming out dis week or latest next week? TrustwitOAU

Samakinr:
well I aiint fretting...just wanna move d thread...m more than good with my score... I just pray it favors us all

wats ur agg bro?

quazim1990:
I recently bought a tecno y5.. ND mtn did nt gev me any data.. Pls add me to ur whatsapp group... 08188896427

how much did u buy it pls..and how s d phone?

Samakinr:
i got it bro... Really. What do you think the cut off might be....just give ur opinion

i cant say yet..but dont fret bro..all is well

chisombenedicta:
Yea our final result is out...unserious ones fail,nd those who score below 60 won't get any course

wat is your score?

Really?

Ex predites tell me sometin pls..have u seen ur exam score?i mean d 1 dat can be used for admission into oau..
And do people really fail predegree exams?or d skul pity u cos of d amount u paid?and just give you any course?

starlingslimnet:
Thank God I change to Biochemistry see as you spoil market for MBBS Aspirants

i tell u