Nma27:
And you still exed her Nawaoooo

perkcare:
if she's ur wife & it's not a habit den she did smtin wrong dt u don't knw abt.

makydee:
Huh "Adwoa" that means she's a Ghanaian

Proffdada:
she's more wicked, for TWO years! if he goes out to have an affair nko?

jonathanOz:

Nowhere. Why?

Snowstorm:
Lol this guy is funny
Fork fork fork abi u be t black hoc brother
Mr. Fork fork fork You GH for the pant sef and you PH your preek.Your marvo come freeze for the second round.

jonathanOz:
Just left my girl's place some minutes ago. Not sure if i should actually refer to her as my girl cos we just saw for the second time. We had sex, though i really didnt prepare for ịt but i was lucky i had two condoms with me in my wallet. After the first round, we rested and after a little persuading from me and shakara from the babe we started the second round. All of a sudden the babe insisted i must pull out the condom that she prefers sex skin to skin cos the condom hurts her. I became alert and tried to talk her out of it using pregnancy as an excuse but she insisted she won't get pregnant cos she is well past her period. I stood my ground and she forcefully pulled me out of her and stood up to put on her cloths.
She went on to acuse me of suspecting her to be HIV positive. Imagine!
So girls are still this silly in this time and age?

dre11:








https://leadership.ng/news/567447/female-undergraduate-runs-mad-after-allegedly-being-beaten-by-lover



Which one una dey withheld name? Na only western delta be d private university wen dey oghara na

coolesmile:
OK. Nigeria try sha. Na Congo big pass.

But how did they arrive at these figures?

Joel3:

average penis size by region

[img]https://metrouk2.files./2015/02/screen-shot-2015-02-26-at-4-03-27-pm.png[/img]

chicoMX:
somebody will push this crap to FP!

PaulKillerman:
My niggaz; please sorry to keep u guys waiting, just had to continue , even though I m at work now...

So my niggeez!!!

So; yeah!!! She left and we continued on our gist both on phone and chatting on Whatsapp, we continued until about 2 weeks afterwards, then we started talking about a revisit ; I always tell her; how tempting and ingratiating her boobs is.. Of which she will always smile and wave off (that's to tell u she knows the caliber of instrument she has; ) so we continued in our gist, and it became evident her visit was nigh; so we kept in touch ..
Almost 3 weeks afterwards, we agreed for a ffuck sorry; I meant a visit... So she was to come.
I arranged my place as usual and when time was due, she called that she was coming, and I affirmed I was at home , told her to come along; so she started coming...
About 45 - 1 hour afterwards , I heard a knock on my door, I calmed down, until the 3rd knock, then I went in to check(remember what I told u earlier about not appearing so desperate and tasty) , so I walked casually and opened my door and burglary proof, Lo Nd behold , she was at the lions Den ; just for me to ravage ; she was wearing a tight jeans; I just started wondering what was wrong with her, knowing we had a rematch instead of wearing loose cloths that will be easier to remove she choose the opposite; but I feigned normal , welcomed her, told her to feel at home, my TV was on, so after awhile and all the pleasantries, we continued again in our gist,gisting round about all unecessary stuffs,just to keep the place lively, and things et all.. Then there was a little quiet, and I knew it was time to move in for the kill...
So I shifted close; started the usuals, with light touch , and continued with light touch, till I got to intense touches; she still did the normal pull backs, I continued still, till she finally gave in, I rushed for the bress again, loosened the bra, thank Jah for his creations upon our lives; I started giving glories , my mouth found her nipples immediately, I sucked it like I was doing a contest for 1 million naira, I didn't let go and continued, alternating both breast. When I was getting off it, I smooched her like weeetttiiinnn!!!, I immediately found her zip; unhooked, the hopeless trouser started giving me government job and dousing the heat of the moment; but God being with me however I surmounted it, and bypassed all those challenges,immeditely confronting me was the lovely panties she was putting on (normal panties, not G strings) I removed the singlet I was in, and moved my hands down from her novel into the Temple of truth, her pussy hair was well shaved , and I immediately felt the moist of a woman's core!!! My brothers; women carry something ohh!!!! Like weeettttiiiiinnnnn!!!! God dey sha!!! Na so I continued with my fingers down there till she was dripping wet. Na so I get help remove pant... My prick was standing like police man battin , I knew at that moment I was a born police man!!! Na so I dive am, my people, I put prick oh... I fork her , we started from missionary to canine , then missionary, to lying down fucking, na so I pour everything for my body..., then we layed down, afterwards ; Then after some minutes; my bantin stood up again, then we continued for a second round , we fork ,fork , fork, like say wetin... I no gree pour again, na so I tire stop... Then went back and shower, she did Too, after a while , she prepared to go; and I gave her TP , then she left, and we continued in our gist and occasional calls, she came to my house on about 3 more occasions and we bleeped like wettiinn!!! , then we became regular sex pals, fork buddies, that fork ourselves

I holad an experience however, I must tell u niggaz; this chicks pussy I wide like wetin; when my prick enter her, it was like I put prick for inside drum, I just dey wonder say wetin dey happen like this na!!!, my people I just tire oh, but I had to continue what I had started, I had to finish the deed started by me, so I co tinued with the fork...

After our frequent fockery, it then recalled to me I haven't kept in touch with NK(the older sister, I had left her just like that) more so I had also thought of the idea of fucking two sisters sometime ago, felt it will be a superb idea; also, also on the flip side ,wanted to know if wideness of pussy was something that runs in family line.. So let's say I wanted to go on a research expedition , then it became obvious, I had to unravel "NK"

To be continued:

the NK episode; . My people, abeg make I go rest; go back my house, later!!!

. Girls sweet sha oh!!!

ojun50:
Why are they all pressing phone

lola024:
Read carefully and follow the instruction dearly.... then thank me later.

So, you're in love with one of your friends, but she has a boyfriend and probably wouldn't have sex with you anyway.

What you will need: 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sunbed, the ability to grow a beard.

Step One: Place the ring on your wedding finger and avoid contact with your friend for a month.

Step Two: Stop shaving and use the sunbed to gain a tan.

Step Three: After a month when your beard is full and your tan is noticeable, remove the ring from your finger.

Step Four: Remove all your clothes and break into your friend's house.

Step Five: Use the knife to cut your body in various places. Avoid the face. If possible, focus on your back. The more blood the better.

Step Six: Enter your friend's bedroom and lie face down on the floor. Wait for her return.

Step Seven: When she enters the room pretend to be unconscious. Allow her to turn you over and try to wake you for a few seconds before you open your eyes. The injuries to your body will serve as a distraction to your unclothedness. She will be more concerned about your wellbeing instead of fearing the naked man in her room.

Step Eight: When she asks you what's happened you should ignore her questions. Instead you must act confused and ask the date. If it's September 15th she will say 'September 15th' to which you must reply 'No, what year is it?'

Step Nine: Upon hearing the year say the words 'It worked.' Pretend to lose consciousness again for a few seconds, implying that whatever it is that has worked took a great effort.

Step Ten: If your friend is a curious person she will probably ask 'What worked?', even if she doesn't ask this question it is important that you now say the words '(Insert Friend's Name), I'm from the future' in your most deadpan voice.

Step Eleven: Pause for ten seconds to allow the incrediblness of the situation to sink in. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim, because your beard will make you appear many years older and your cuts would add weight to the idea that you've come from a post-apocalyptic future where a war is currently taking place.

Step Twelve: Raise your left hand to your face. All women are very observant, so your friend will immediately notice the tanline on your wedding finger. If she is educated to a decent standard she will realise that you are married and your ring has simply disappeared, because clothing and other items cannot travel through time. Your nudity will support this.

Step Thirteen: Now comes the hard part - The monologue. In your own words you must give a speech in which you mention all of these key points:

a) You are married to each other in the future

b) Her current boyfriend is dead

c) The world is coming to an end. It's up to you to pick a reason, but I would recommend a war against machines. This whole situation will be backed up by the Terminator franchise

d) In the future your relationship is not going well

e) You've come back in time because you can't help but feel that she would have been happier with her current boyfriend if he hadn't been killed

f) Her current boyfriend is going to be hit by a bus on a day six months from her present. She should stop him going to work that day

g) If she does exactly what you say this current version of yourself will be erased and you will never get married. If she questions this flaw in your time travel logic, because you cannot change the past, simply reference Back to the Future

Step Fourteen: Unless your friend is made of stone she will now be overcome by emotion, especially at your selflessness. Get to your feet and go to kiss her goodbye. It is important that you do this with the confidence of a man who has done this to her many times.

Step Fifteen: There is now no possible way that you aren't about to have sex with her. You're naked, kissing her, in her bedroom, agreeing to erase a version of yourself from history to make her happy. And as far as she knows you've had sex many times in a future that will no longer happen, so she thinks to herself that maybe she should have one memory of it.

Step Sixteen: After having the sex, ask to borrow some clothes then leave.

Step Seventeen: Shave off your beard and coat your wedding finger in fake tan. Carry on as if nothing has happened. There will be three possible outcomes:

1) During the sex some feelings that she didn't know existed are awakened and she will leave her boyfriend for you.

2) Life will carry on as normal.

3) You will be filled with guilt because of this moral grey area where you aren't entirely sure if what you've done counts as some kind of low level rape. You will take your own life by hanging, overdose or wrist cutting.

WilsonMayowa:
Am still kinda new here, wat baffles me is that most people tend to hide their real identity here e.g no profile picture, username is someow, Male folks using f on their profile and vice versa....So my question goes thus, is Nairaland an avenue in living a fake life and Nairaland gals are generally known for what?

StarBukola:
we both keep in touch, if u ask me no biggies , since we both didn't break each others hrt. so yes I keep in touch.

alfred007:
Hi everyone
please I need your mature advice concerning my latest girlfriend.

these are the funny things she does.

1. She will plan to come and see me without me calling but when she gets to where I am she will just pass and after a short while she will pass again without coming to me.

2. she just can't look at my face, she is just too shy I guess

3. she boring to be with. I do all the talking, most times I crack jokes. she will only smile sheepishly.

4. she can't make choice. I choose evhink she's not experienced but she said she has been in relationship b4.

please help adviser advice me. these attitudes pisses me off sometimes

satowind:
When I'm Bored Nobody Texts Me, But As Soon As I'm Busy....BAAM

Still Nobody Texts Me.

grossintel:
I must say I enjoyed this forum some years back when I joined this forum. Most especially I gained a lot from one of my topics which eventually made front page. I say thanks to all.
But the rules of this community is making it harder to grow by the day, no offense but people constantly get ban over nothing, a community that thrives can never be a monotype community where moderators feel like demi Gods and issue bans like jeloff rice. You get ban for even contributions and advises so tell me what do you need members for? You can as well pilot your site by yourself alone. This is a limitation to the nairaland community and will forever be, my activities on this site is dropping daily and I bearly visit nairaland weekly.
So lets go straight to the point, I noticed the deactivate account button is missing, who removed it and why? Okay you want to keep your past glory and boast of millions of inactive users? Please return the deactivation button lets do it ourselves openly. I don't care if I get a life time ban anyway am done with this community. Kindly show me the exit door mods. TAKES A BOW, FLINGS THE MIC AND WALKS OF STAGE WITH THE MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR.

CaroLyner:
I cant believe i read everything

rocksimon:
cant still believe i wasted my eye sight reading this.

BlackDBagba:
Gone with the wind!

krauss:
neither have i assumed so. I am narrating my own case just as others are.

krauss:
I am older than he is and probably have even more stringent standards than him. I am very much not gay, and even have my own choice of shape in women. You never see something. A guy I told same argued it, but after serving with me in the same place, had no choice but to start broadcasting it to everybody himself.

SmellingAnus:
Lol.... If not that I was very close to him , I would have also seen him as gay but he is not... He is attracted to girls but not when they are nude ... Porn was also very disgusting to him... One other guy with similar issue has quoted my post , he also talked about how he over came it...