₦airaland Forum

WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got
washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my
heart & I got Heart Attack.
AKPOS: God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi.
He saw me in darkness, He created light.
He saw me without problems, He created YOU.
WIFE:.. Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are ..
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
AKPOS: The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn’t it rain on you..?
WIFE: …Roses are red; Violets are blue.
Monkeys like u should be kept in ZOO.
Don’t feel so angry you will find me there too…
Not in cage but laughing at YOU
WHO KILLED IT? The wife or Akpos?

I was driving down the street in ikeja, having
just
finished answering a call on my mobile phone,
when a
policeman suddenly jumped in front of my car,
opened the front passenger door, entered and
jammed it.
As is customary with his kind, he wanted to
collect
"something" from me... Then suddenly he saw
the
big
black Rothweiler dog - Jackie - sitting pretty on
the
back seat, staring fiercely at him with tongue
stuck
out.
POLICEMAN: [shaking] Ah! You carry dog?
Akpors: [I bone my face] Ehn I carry dog. That
one
na offence?
POLICEMAN: [feeling uncomfortable] Na where
una dey come from?
Akpors: From hospital!
POLICEMAN: [feeling uneasy] Ehn! You sick?
Akpors: No, na the dog sick o! POLICEMAN:
[Looks
back] Why the dog come dey shake im head like
dat?
Akpors: Oh! Like that? If the dog wan bite
person
na so e dey shake head o.
POLICEMAN: And the dog know you?
Akpors:: Yes naa. No be me get am?
POLICEMAN:
[sweating] This your door, how you dey open
am?
Akpors: Open it naa. Abi you no know as you
take
enter?
POLICEMAN: Abeg, na since I notice the dog I
don
dey try open am.
(The dog was getting impatient and gave a small
grunt, its tongue almost touching the
policeman's
left ear)
POLICEMAN: (Sliding forward slowly on the seat,
visibly sweating and speaking quietly now) Ehn...
I
don
commit today o. Ehn Oga make I drop, abeg. E
joor
talk to this dog naa. Yeh.... wetin he dey do now?
Akpors: I don't like the way he dey look you
ooo.
Make I slow down. Don't rush o or else....be
quiet.
(Grrrrrrrrrr)
POLICEMAN: Yeepa! Mo gbe. E joor I dey go
now.
Abeg tell am to cool temper oo.
Akpors: Oya oya open the door slowly.
The olopa suddenly zoomed out and slammed
the
door.
The last thing I heard from the policeman?.....
"E no go better for you and your dog!

Wait o!!.....if u were admitted and u apply for change of course and if in the end u were nt given d course will it affect ur first course?? I mean d one u were first admitted for

K guyz

newly admitted peepz.....pls has anyone payed d acceptance fee?? lets pay our fees as quick as possible if uve payed pls let us knw how u do it

finally i was admitted for SLT.....pls anybody highlight us about the acceptance fee payment

i just saw my name on the portal too oooooo

somebody should tell us how to check this thing nah...oga ooo

HND aspirants and students pls if i do building technology in OND can i offer civil engineering for HND?

[quote author=Donkorrey]NO O....seems all the lists are coming out at once since resumption date is fixed at november 4th if nt...hw long does the 2nd list take after the first list

Donkorrey: .Bro u've done the best thing or else u might be given ARCHITECTURE.. we gat so many similar cases last year... most of the victims droppedout n some r even rerunning 5 to 6 courses .
so I congratulate u for making fast move
All is well and best of luck

will i appear on d merit list?

See rubbish....skul i got 46.63 as composite score for SLT(cut off 47) people begin halla say dem no go admit me....now i don change from the course of my dream to computer engineering...if dem no give me admission na swear remain oo....na so jamb rob my mark too...sha maybe d computer eengineering too go make sense

Addebayo: Yea.. Am a polyte. Accountancy main campus

ok lehme have yur 2go or whatssap Id

Addebayo: No.... He's gud to go.

bro...are u also a polyte? if so wic dept and campus

i applied for SLT(cut off 47).....and my aggregate is 46.63 oh hope no problem

God bless dis angelo guy jare!!....which potent man will leave such beauty for a black ugly bitch like beverly

full picture

My outstanding spirit been standing out among my peers from birth...i simply wish for sumtin and i get it sooner or later...my humility....but am very damn shy a reason i don't get along with gals cos i always develop cold feet among them....i do wish to have the wooing spirit never wooed a girl in my liife

Akpororo suleman salaudeen A$S

.wishing u all goodluck in all ur endavours

If you’re 30 and still living with your mom,
unmotivated to go out and get a job or a
girlfriend, here’s a quirky but effective way
to encourage you to go out and live your life
while you still can – The Tikker, or “death
watch” counts down how much time you have
left until you kick the bucket. Remember the
website that did the exact same thing? Well,
this is the 2.0 portable version.
Calling it “The Happiness Watch”, its inventor
Fredrik Colting explains that he wanted to
find a way to determine people “to cherish
the time and the life that we have been given,
to honor it, suck the marrow from it, seize
the day and follow our hearts. And the best
way to do this is to realize that seconds, days
and years are passing never to come again.”
Here’s how the watch works. To set up the
Tikker, you first need to fill out a
questionnaire with information about your
medical history, weight, lifestyle details such
as if you drink or smoke and how often you
exercise. You are also asked to give
information about any diseases that may run
in your family. All these are factored in and
you are given a score representing your
entire lifespan including the years you have
already lived. After your current age is
deducted from this score, the countdown
begins.
You might think you’ll get an estimation of
your time of death, such as “mid-80s”, but
that’s not the case – the Tikker counts down
from years to seconds so that you can get a
true feeling that with each passing second,
you are getting closer and closer to death.
Too depressing for you? The creators – “a
group of designers, free-thinkers, lovers and
life-aficionados” say “it’s not about how
much time you HAVE, it’s what you DO with
it. A week spent in love and happiness can be
worth more than a year spent in agony. If
you knew how much time you had left,
wouldn’t you use that time wisely?” adding
that “While death is nonnegotiable, life isn’t.
The good news is that life is what you make
of it – and oh boy can it be beautiful!”
Are you sold on the concept yet? If you are
and want have a Tikker of your own, you can
preorder one by paying $39 for the simple
black design or $1,000 for a custom one in
pantone color – limited offer only. So hurry
up, happiness guaranteed!

www.informationng.com/2013/10/man-invents-creepy-death-watch-that-counts-down-to-your-death.html

mysticgal: whether she suck the joystix of a gorrilla,the woman is influential and got cash,i just love her for breaking jinx,am next

God bless u my sister

as u wish in ur heart so shall it be onto u nd nt only u but ur entire family

ramaju: I feel very much compelled to say sorry for your naivity, absolute lack of respect and total senselessness. May you never grow old.

ramaju: I feel very much compelled to say sorry for your naivity, absolute lack of respect and total senselessness. May you never grow old.

as u wish in ur heart so shall it be onto u nd nt only u but ur entire family

slimming: She is rich, but are pple are poor. what a life for Nigerians

how dat one take concern her...blame your leaders for ur predicament...#typical naija mentality comment

legalcode: Though i am Nigerian but i am not proud of her. How did she made the money? obviously not hard work but by sleeping around with politicians. Licking the joystick of IBB. For me that is not worth being proud of. Oprah made her money geniunely and still remain admired all over the world.

i bet ure so broke...i dnt think u can make it in life wit this mindsect of yours...u think every woman does fornicate?..yoruba women are known worldwide for education nd struggle..SMH!!....uve even underated urself dat u cnt make it instead of praying for sumtin similar...now run along!!