₦airaland Forum

LagosismyHome:
Government has decided that things like pension and maternity pay and the list below are not public funds... they even want to force everyone to do pension

TheGuyFromHR:
Pension tax relief doesn't constitute public funds for immigration purposes.
Rest easy.

Ticha:
1. Ask your son to start keeping a diary - it will not only help with emotional self-regulation but will enable him see patterns and help you build a picture and collate evidence should you ever need it.
2. If and when she tells him off, he should request an advocate, including his peers if necessary.
3. If he can, he should call her out on her picking on him. Very politely ie I have said I didn't do it. Why are you insisting I did?

Most people in the UK are more afraid of being labelled racist than being racist. So one of the fastest ways to nip it in the bud is put a name on it and watch them back track so fast. It will also alert others to the fact that you won't take this lying down.

So even though Sept is not far away, secondary school is a lot more vicious than primary school. Do not go speak to the teacher yet. Write out a letter, laying out your concerns - factually. Remove every emotion. Talk about how it is affecting the emotional and mental health of your child and by extension you the parent and the rest of the family. Be succinct. Add examples.
Then state that you know it's possible children may misconstrue actions and words but you want it brought to their knowledge that this is how your son is interpreting her actions. Therefore you are bringing your concerns to them. It is not acceptable for a teacher to covertly and overtly pick on any child and you would be doubly disappointed to find out it is race based. End it by saying you are totally open to conversations and strategies to support your child and the school so they should contact you at their earliest convenience.

I would sit and draft the letter with my child then edit and read through the final together. Email it to the head teacher and keep a copy for yourself should you need it down the track.

I wish I could say it gets easier when it comes to racism. It doesn't. We just develop better coping mechanisms and we need to ensure our children have those mechanisms to cope and push back. Hugs!

LagosismyHome:
Thank you. I'll try the reward system. The fact that he is moving to a new class in September also gives me hope. Regarding our naija behaviour, God help us.


Hugs ...parenting is not easy, just continue talking and introduce some form of reward system. Tell him we are working together towards this goal of no complaint from teacher and we can achieve this by x and y ...and if it achieve it then reward .

People say don't be bribing, but I don't want to spend my young age shouting up and down so my kids I use rewards alot. You pick your

Cultural people in UK and people from naija there is a difference in behaviour both adult and children. Even among naija i can tell a UK born naija and a naija child. That been said your son is new and still adjusting so there might be a lot of behaviour that is just too full on for the teacher to handle hence why she exhibiting more harshness not that I am excusing her but teacher work no easy. All I am saying that I noticed naija kids even naija adults tend to be more aggressive in little mannerism but they do adjust with time

deept:
Not only mommas o, there are hands on Poppa's here also.

babythug:
Hello!! Hugs for you mama!

It’s tough sometimes on the children while adjusting. But it is what it is!

I’d advise that you keep coaching and counselling him on self regulating . He can be taught to avoid/ ignore triggers from the other children
The subtle racism our children may face is inevitable, they’ll have to sometimes work twice as hard to prove themselves case in point his teacher(s) being harder on him than the others . Let him realise things are different now and it won’t be a walk in the park but he should do his best.
Also at home you will have to unlearn the naija way of speaking loud , resolve conflicts within the family peacefully, no talking on the phone loudly et al maybe that’ll help too

With my teenage sons they display aggressive behaviour because my spouse and I have been poor role models in that regard. But gradually as a family or at least I am modifying my behaviour with the hope that it’s not too late! I’ve had one or two complaints from school but I am steering their energies towards sports to dissipate some of the excess vexations

ramafama:
All you mentioned are allowed but laptops and large bags are not

Kaddy102:
Help ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Plsssss
I got my refusal letter today and I was banned but the problem is I actually didn’t know about the refusal cause I was a minor about 12yrs and my grandma didn’t tell me about the refusal please advice what I can do and how to proceed

ocpaschal:
my bro just got his BRP today... he is going to apply for his NIN today. how long does it take to obtain national insurance number?

mizGene:
Thanks for this update.
Is it in all cases the require one to send the BRP? The idea alone puts me off...quite surprising they don't have a more efficient process for validating applicants identity.
I was hoping to apply for one early November and hopefully get the prov license before month end but now I will have to really reassess my options...