₦airaland Forum

edimolu:
Smiles...did you give me incomplete digits?.....u gt a mail

Sorry, I just checked.
oh sefen oh tiri thate for tiri for sero.

Omoluabi16:
That's terrible, and you didn't deserve that. We can all agree that the guy is the idiot here. Being close is no criteria to start a friendship you know.. I bet if you went through his previous posts/topic you'd see the kind of person he is. Many mad people are roaming the cyberspace these days. Good thing you still choose to be an open person.

Going through his post was the mistake I made. His posts were mature and all that.
I've learnt from my mistake sha

edimolu:
Babes you got yourself a mail

I don't know if it's just me or if the NL mailing system is faulty. I have issues connecting with people.

1234onyekwe:
I don't understand u ladies how do u want to be friends with a guy that wants to date & be an intimate relationship with u. (looking for who to Friendzone).

Did you read my point at all?

babake79:
Hello guys,

So there's an event tomorrow at the national stadium surulere. Why don't we meet there - well I'll be going...

Will be a great way to put a face behind all this chit chat on here.

If you're interested to join me, my number is Ho nie ho tiri, tiri fif ho, wan nie sis ho

It's a food and drinks festival by the way

Hian, those of us outside Lagos nko? Send us food o.

NotOfThis:
Don't let that ruin your confidence. Be glad he showed his self from the get-go. You don't want to waste your time being friends w/ a guy like that anyway, so chin up.

Thanks ma'am.

UjSizzle:
Wow. That was harsh. Sorry you had to go through that. Some people are just unnecessarily rude. Hope it doesn't spoil your experience with other sensible fellows

Thanks dear. It did ruin my flow actually but comments on this thread are encouraging, I might get my confidence back.

snakebeat:
Hmmm... Quite unusual...
I really do not know the reason for d said guy's hostility. But i can boldly tell u with all form of sincerity that most dudes would appreciate any lady that make's the first move. But i think u are getting it all wrong. It is obvious your perception on this issue is formed on the basis of only one guy. U don't establish perception based on a single encounter...Only one guy was uncongenial & hostile to u & u just concluded that is d way all guys will respond to any lady who PM them first? Now u see why guys will always be different from girls. Just the way some girls ignore guys PM, definitely some guys will do likewise to ladies. But d point is, why most ladies see it to be everyday thing from men, considerable number of guys will appreciate any lady bold enough to make d first move. It's a rare one & only brave ladies are capable of such...

You are one of the few who think this way.
The thing is, girls are not wired to handle rejection like guys. You people are used to the snubbing and ish that comes from talking to a lady. A lady musters the courage and faces rejection, it's not easy. I got that attitude from someone I just wanted to be friends with, imagine how killing it must have been.

Venom247:
Jeez. Couldn't hold myself from laughing at this. looolz.

See my life outside. Laugh all you want jare.

NotOfThis:
Aww, I'm sorry that happened to you. You were brave for PMing a guy, tho.

Thanks dear, I followed my brother's advice. When I told him the outcome, he couldn't stop laughing.

babake79:
There's a difference between going for a Boy and going for a Man... Only a Boy will do such a thing! Don't be scared to make the first move! Afterall the main goal is the "happily ever after" Will it matter that you made the first move in the grand scheme of things??

After my terrible experience on here, I'll think twice before making a first move. I got insulted by someone I just wanted to be friends with.

snakebeat:
This is not true...

You are a guy, you don't know the drill.

Toks2008:
Habba is it that bad? well boys are different from men.

How then do we know the men? By their posts? No.
Wait until you deal with these 'men'. I had a encounter with one. It turned out very bad.

snakebeat:
Lets be honest with ourselvses...How many screenshot have u seen on NL?
If u are saying girls can't open up because of their level of boldness & inabilty to handle rejection, we would understand...because naturally women are more reserved, modest, and shy. Not using screenshot as smokescreen. Guys admire ladies who open up...because we know considerable number of ladies can't do it...

A while back, I saw a guy on here that I thought I could be friends with because from his posts he stays in an area I just moved to. I sent him a PM, his reply was 'I don't do Nairaland girls'. I told him I just wanted to be friends. He asked how I got to know he stayed around that area, I told him I read his posts.
Guess what he said next? 'Quit stalking me, idiot'. I've never been more embarrassed my whole life.
so don't blame me if I don't send any guy PM on here or any platform for that matter.

dingbang:
you are right... But women will always be women... Its in their genes to form..

You call it 'Forming', I call it conforming to the society's standard. Some guys think it is bad for a lady to put herself out there, she's just supposed to wait, make no move until she's 'found'.

And most ladies cannot handle rejection the way guys can, so we'll rather not walk down that path because you don't know if your target (guy) is one who'll make a big news out of the fact that you made the first move on them.
Forget what these guys say online, the whole 'I don't mind a lady talking to me first' thing is a lie. A Lady sends them a PM, they already have thoughts in the head.
Until guys learn to handle this part correctly, more ladies will keep to themselves.

KevinDein:

The guys are complaining about the ladies; the ladies are complaining about the guys. Who is truly at fault?

Perhaps we've been meeting the wrong people. Probably looking for love from the wrong people and in the wrong places.

About time we started telling ourselves the truth.

There's no such thing as looking for love in the wrong place, the mistake we make is looking for love in the wrong people and until we meet the right people, the complaints and blame games will continue.

babake79:
How am I?? Hmmm... you don't want me to start o... Not enough space in this thread!

Let's not disturb the others...

Lol. At least you're alive. That's good news.

Oreoo:
Some of these hypocrites writin all these nonsense will do worse if they where as rich as d boy.Baba apologised n ur stil typin nonsense 4 attentiob lik if he asked d mumu out now she wuld hav typed dat nonsense.

Apparently, you don't know who Joy Isi Bewaji is. Babe is self made.

LesbianBoy:
It seems nigerians have a problem with rich people! Ahn ahn!

So because of that small thing wey davido brother talk (which he has even apologised) na him make this STOOPID girl write this epistle?

'Nigerians hate rich people'... Is that what your brain could make out of this write up? Your case na sorry.
And did you just call Joy ' a small girl'? She's definitely doing well for herself and she does not make noise about it.

babake79:
Hello speedy

Funny how 'Speedy came late' to a thread like this. How are you?

babake79:
Wow, just found this thread from the homepage so arriving a bit late... Well 29 pages late!

My take in this matter, I'll say I'm a single guy and kindof searching! Reason why I say kindof searching is because aunties, uncles, married friends have all tried to hook me up with someone but it's never worked out. Like someone mentioned in here, this naija is full of slay Queens who are more interested in their phones and are only capable of taking selfies than holding an intelligent conversation.

Might just be me though but if I speak for most guys in their 30s, we are intelligent enough to know what we want in a woman and are pretty much not willing to compromise on certain personality traits.
Might be the same for the ladies but can't speak for them so I don't know.

For me now, I can't hook up with a passive chic, I'm from a family of strong women so I have no attraction for a passive lady who has the opinion that her only role in a relationship is to look good, provide sex, raise kids and that's it! I know myself, and I know I will get bored in less than a month. In that case, what's the point of entering such a union that should last FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

So I'll say, don't let your age scare you... What will be will be... But you do have to be open minded and know yourself enough to know what traits you can compromise on and what traits you can't.

(P. S, the 79 on my username is not my birth year or my age ) lol

Hi Latecomer79

OK, I came in late.

professore:
That's nice ma,it has been said already that such person should concentrate on their masters and phd,stick around for more info though,i'm also a political science undergraduate.

Aiit. Thanks Bro.

professore:
Are you saying a political science graduate cannot be employed in a lecturing job?

No Sir. what that means is I'm a graduate of political science and I want to be a lecturer, so this seems like a perfect thread for me.

sandammy:
Please those with the right information should enlighten me on professional certifications necessary to be acquire as a graduate of politics who's also interested in lecturing as a career choice. Thanks

Political science, Lecturing? Story of my life.
Following thread.

Mr2kay2:
the girl should be shot

Did you not read the part where he said the lady was giving the guy signs that she wasn't into him?

Boj2:
Naaaah...I'm too much of a Yoruba Demon to fall victim.... I create victims instead!!

Wehdone Sir. Bye bye.

Boj2:
As for me,i won't invest in any lady I don't see an actual [bfuture][/b] with...... Too much vultures out there looking for helpless victims to prey on!!

I hate to hear stories of guys falling victims. shine your eyes and make sure money is not your only 'weapon'.

Boj2:
Like the idiot that kept spending on my sister even as she kept giving him signs that she wasn't into him..... She ended up using him to start up her life after service year and got married to her husband...Dude wasted two years of resources on her for nothing!

This is exactly the case with one of them.

.

solasolasola:
This is one of the most intelligent comments I have seen on Nairaland.

Thanks Sir.

illuminated93:
If a guy considers himself special,he has his self esteem intact, he is in control of his relationship,he is the man,he knows that his girlfriend is lucky to be with him,just as he is lucky to have her around.

Very true. Thanks for expatiating.

lefulefu:
yes its normal until the relationship goes south thats when they start complaining how much they spent on the lady

Yeah, true.

illuminated93:
Money is important,but it shouldn't be the sole reason for her being with you. But I do believe this,when it's time to spend, spend like a G',if she really likes you, she wouldn't want to strain your pocket. But, if she's doesn't really like you, she would ask for things that would strain your pocket( she doesn't really care about how attractive her manners are to you), she sees you as a means to an end. poor!
A girl that likes you would be bothered about her manners while with you,she would try not to ask for much,even if she wants to.

Finally,to the guys,this is not an excuse to be broke. Spending big on your woman ain't bad,but make sure you spend on someone that you know loves you.

This captures everything.

illuminated93:
The undoing of most guys is that they don't see themselves as special beings, that's why they can go so low as spending lavishly on a female just to prove a point

I don't quite understand this part though.

lefulefu:
even if u preach frm sundown to sun rise...guys wey wan fall maga go fall maga .

They don't see themselves as maga, they think it's normal.

lefulefu:
guys who use money to entice ladies tend to be inadequate in other areas .they use money as coverup.even if u preach frm sundown to sun rise...guys wey wan fall maga go fall maga .

Errrm, I don't know about the first past sha.