₦airaland Forum

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oluwalewis:
The reason I am happy that I'm an introvert is because extroverts basically suffer from intellectual myopia cos they talk too much and think less, besides introverts are more intelligent and animated than extroverts.
Young man,do your research before you comment on an issue like this.

Fallacy of hasty generalization.
I know you're angry, yes but don't let him push you.

Congrats people. Go to the camp with your MTN line. That's the only one available and it's 2G.

iPurge:
ok. so Wich one are u? do u prefer to be in d midst of pple or u get ur energy while alone

Staying in the midst of people for SOCIAL RELATIONS drains the life out of me. I'm at my best when I'm alone.

seunlayi:
Op, you should have find a way to alert the police that something is going on around you or to and complain to the manager. If something else happened there, you may be part of those that will pay for it.

Almost everyone must have heard her screaming because it was very loud but no one came out. And I was scared, I didn't know what to do.

SPEEDEPITOME:
I doubt if she'll press charges. She probably trusted her friend and it was so stupid of her.
The guys were probably her friend's friends.

I tell you.
I don't know what she was thinking.
That's the reason I put this up. If a lady puts herself in a 'compromising position' as this, proving her case will be very difficult. Better be safe than sorry. This is Nigeria.

Did you read this comment?
I guess not.
And no, I'm not being a sexist here.

sisisioge:
Wowzerful!

I swearit, there are too many dunances out there! Chai! Wtf was she doing at night in an hotel room with strange guys? They must have drank some while out too o... dangerous combo. Well, I hope she escalates this issue to at least serve as a future deterrence for the three idiiates!

I doubt if she'll press charges. She probably trusted her friend and it was so stupid of her.
The guys were probably her friend's friends.

Opistorincos:
She is a dumb Bleep for trusting strangers. This is 2017 and the only person you should trust is yourself, even if she gets to put those beasts behind bars, the emotional trauma will still be there for a long time

I tell you. Proving her case might be very difficult.

godfrey01:
yoruba ladies are all olosho. from day one. no one is left out. even the married ones bleeping outside their marraiage... for rape case, when a guy forcefully have sex with a girl you people call it rape. what will you now call it when a lady forcefully have sex with a guy. I am talking from experience. some ladies can be sex freak.

Uncle, I'm not apportioning blames here. It's a warning to ladies to stay careful.
1). Yoruba ladies are all oloshos
2). You concluded that She's Yoruba because she spoke the language.
You have succeeded in stylishly insulting every Yoruba person on here. Wehdone. We go tribal on politics, now Promiscuity too.
These show your level of reasoning.
Channel your negative energy somewhere else please.

onward4life:
Rape is when yu sleep in your house then boys force the door open.

Not when matured singles go to hotels to drink meat and chop drinks finish and expect to get licked while been sucked.

Who will pay the person that paid for the food and drinks?

You don't come to Hotels for breakthrough and bed rest nah!

It's not maternity

See ehn, I no get strength to argue.
The keyword in rape is CONSENT, Regardless of where it happened, it is rape, You can only talk about the circumstances surrounding it. Mindsets like yours is one of the reasons I write this.
Deny it all your want, whenever this scenario comes up, either the victim is male or female, it is RAPE.

I don't know if this topic should be here or in the romance section.
I'm in shock as I type this, I have a function to attend today, so I travelled to the town and lodged in a hotel. I had the worst night of my life. Some 45 minutes ago, I heard a shout and I woke up. Soon, the noise grew louder and I moved closer to my window. I couldn't go out cause I was alone and even if I wasn't, I didn't know what it was about. I thought it was robbery. Turns out someone was getting raped!
Flashback: few hours after I checked in, these people came in too, with noise and chit chats; enough to assume that they're all friends. They went out and came back around after 12, I was still awake then. From the conversation, I knew there were 2 guys and 2 ladies.
Back to my story, when I listened more, I heard the other lady telling the friend to calm down and stop shouting. I don't know what relationship they have with the guys tho. The lady was shouting in Yoruba, 'Marian, see what you've caused. You didn't tell me all these o . Marian then said 'what were you expecting, calm down now'. Scary ish. Then the guy was saying 'calm down, it won't be long". After the act, the lady told that the other one "don't ever call my name again", I heard her looking for her phone, everything went quiet. The lady just went out while I was typing this.

My point? Ladies should please be careful. How would you lodge with guys? I don't think she even knows the Guy's name because she was only mentioning her friend's and telling her to beg the guy and tell him it's enough. I don't know if it was a setup or it just happened but whatever it was, she put her self in harm's way by staying with those guys.
While the society is still trying to caution us and enlighten us on what constitutes Rape, While we go on with our campaign against rape, ladies and guys should learn to keep themselves safe, there are still savages out there and the system is not yet strong enough to handle all rape cases.
It could be that she came with them for fun or anything but given that she doesn't know the guy, she for no stay because she obviously didn't plan for what happened.
I don't even know what to say. I never see this kind thing before.
At this point, there are voices on the corridor downstairs, I think she went to meet the manager or something. Dem still dey there
Things dey happen o, people please be careful.
Modified : The manager came to my room.in the morning to apologize for the disturbance and as at when I checked out, everything had gone back to normal.
cc lalasticlala r231 mynd44

iPurge:
introversion is not based on self confidence and esteem shit also stop tagging or stereotyping ursef... Bleep introverts, Bleep extroverts.we r all d same abeg .. if u av esteem issues or confidence issues den work on dem..don't give excuses

See, I respect people's opinion but when I see outright display of ignorance and you no still wan dey your lane, I no fit just waka pass.
First, NO ONE said introversion was based on Self esteem/confidence
2). Again, i say, If you have low self esteem, it's not a factor of being introverted or not.
3).No, we are not all the same
4). Introversion or extroversion is basically about social relationships, self esteem however, is deeper than that.
You said everyone is the same, says a lot about your reasoning. No two people are completely the same. There are concepts and theories in life that I do not know how they work but that does not in way reduce the validity of those concepts and theories.
That you do not understand how something works does not mean it doesn't exist.
If you do not understand how a thing works, study and try to get it. It won't kill you.

MobileGees:
This life is too short to start living a boring life. You all can't deny the fact that every introverted person had in some point in their lives wanted to be an extrovert.

Introvert life is boring abeg.

Advice :Like I said this life is too short to start living a boring introverted life, enjoy the little time you have on earth

Ps:I was once an introvert.

There's no such thing as being a former introvert. You probably didn't have the enabling environment or you had some personality flaws that you've now worked on.
Any one who claims to be an introvert and wishes to change is probably shy. Shyness is often mistaken for being introverted. As an introvert, you savour your solitude cause it's the only thing that makes sense to you. It doesn't mean your life is boring, you just have fun in ways different from others.

afoobabs:
I get it u are happy that way but there some who aren't happy being an introvert they actually want to socialize but couldn't, do you agree

Yes I agree.
Shyness explains that part. Though not many people will agree to it . They'll just tell you they are introverted, when in the real sense they are just shy.

walexzee11:
FEAR is an ingredient of being an introvert, that's what makes them different frm extros. Most Introverts are timid cos of FEAR of rejection! thereby having low self-esteem.

"They may, or may not be so. But if you are judging by the fact that they talk less, don’t like meeting people, etc. then you are probably wrong. In fact, introverts might have great self-esteem, hence they spend more time with themselves, making sure they’re growing as a person, exploring their own mind and achieving goals".

Tobium1:
You need to work on your sense of humor.
I'm an introvert, but trust me, u wuld laugh your heart out if u stay more dan 30mins with me, sounds weird huh?

You know, your sense of humour has nothing to do with being an introvert or not. If you have a dry sense of humour, it's a totally different ball game. Extroverts can be like that too.

afoobabs:
you are making sense this might be true sha but there are some that are both shy and introvert.

Yes, you are right. The same way we have extroverts with self esteem issues.

afoobabs:
so u want to remain this way forever?
u can change my fear the only thing that is constant in life is change. allow pple to get close they won't eat u up at worst they hurt, but being alone will hurt more.

You're still missing the point.
This is something I enjoy. If you're an extrovert, you enjoy everything that comes with it cause that's what makes sense to you and you don't wanna change it.
You know the way extroverts don't understand how someone can stay alone and claim to be happy?That's how I wonder how extroverts survive too.
I'm kinda good with words, I make my opinion known without fear of intimidation, I can address a public gathering if the need arises. What else can I ask for? I'm good Bro.
I don't start friendship not because I'm scared, but because I don't see the need for it. Trust me, I don't want any forced friendship cause I can't sustain it.

SPEEDEPITOME:
Op, there are different cases involved here.
Introverts are not necessarily quiet, they just mostly have issues keeping friends.
You can be an extrovert and be shy.
Lack of self confidence is not the same thing as being introverted and vice versa.
No, it doesn't take self confidence to hang out with people.
You might be an introvert and still be outspoken and have self confidence.
And hey, being introverted doesn't mean you don't have a sense of humour.
Intelligence does not automatically come with being introverted. It's just that introverts have more time on their hands to do some critical thinking.

cc afoobabs
Babs, someone who's shy and has low self esteem will move into a corner and say they're introverted. There's a difference.
Being shy and being introverted aren't the same thing, although they may look the same. An introvert enjoys time alone and gets emotionally drained after spending a lot of time with others. A shy person doesn't necessarily want to be alone but is afraid to interact with others.

SPEEDEPITOME:
I do not like meeting people. I don't bother starting friendship with anyone coz I'm sure it'll end very soon as I don't have what it takes to sustain it. I'm not in touch with any of my secondary school friends- I just connected with two recently and I'm bored already.
I have not attended any party since 2010! I'm scared of going out - Agoraphobia ish. I can stay home for weeks and not complain. My friend helped me improve a bit when I was in school.
Funny thing is, I'm not shy, I can face the whole of Nigerian and talk. When I manage to get out I can be playful and all but if you try to come close, I just shut you out. I don taya.
I don't have a large circle. Even on social media, I screen my friends list at every opportunity I get.
The good part of me, I'm a good conversationalist.

PS: there's a difference between being shy, being quiet and being introverted.

cc afoobabs

afoobabs:
wrong introvert is the combination of both if you can express ur feeling to some one you love then you av self esteem issues and if you can't show up in parties or events then u are timid

If you cannot express your feelings, you are probably not outspoken. If you don't show up at parties, it might be that you're just wired to not attach much importance to public functions. If you don't appear in public, it could be Agoraphobia and this is not the same thing as timidity.
Being extroverted means you are OUTGOING. This is does not mean you have self confidence.
Anyone can have low self esteem, introvert or extrovert.

dupsyluzy:
I don't think being an introvert means you having low self esteem or lack confidence. They are inter related but not the same. I can tell you boldly that am an introvert but when its comes to public speaking,I would always find a way to overcome my introvert nature

If you had seen my previous posts, you would have understood my point.
we are saying the same thing here. You cannot overcome being introverted, you can only overcome your personality flaws. I said something along the lines of "you can work on improving your self esteem/confidence, lack of which is not function of being introverted or extroverted".

hinky:
Yh...The day my sister told her Friend i was the best dancer at home, d girl had to ask if she was joking or not... Dat i dnt look lyk one ... And there re countless of times when piple will b around me nd if i say sometin funny they bcome shocked ...
Its annoying

This is my story, this is my song.
Exactly.

afoobabs:
there are two way to overcoming being an introvert 1. try and become an IDGAF i.e. I don't give a Bleep in real life stop concerning ursef with what ppl say, think or feel abt you, it doesn't really matter more so who even get ur time the world don't give a Bleep so u shouldn't as well. introverts think and feel all eyes are on them which is wrong everyman has his/ her own problem that he is facing squarely so they aren't looking at you
2. The spirit of street. brb

You cannot overcome being an introvert. Anyone who goes about thinking the world is the watching them probably has self esteem issues. You can only overcome being shy, you can build your self confidence and these things are not just applicable to introverts.
Just like you can't overcome being an extrovert.
Bottom line is, you can't change these things.

cooltola:
What IF you are both an extrovert and introvert by nature?

It's possible and that's like the coolest thing ever. You get to enjoy the pecks of both without being disadvantaged. You switch to whatever mode suits you and if you can balance, you're good.

iPurge:
lol.. me I dey disturb friends ni.. I can make frends easily no doubt but I av a personality flaw.. when in d midst of a group of frends.. I wil want to be d funniest so I say things dat vex ppl.. lol I don vex a lot of pple for dis life to d point dat we av physical fit..esp girls..I am annoying bt I don't know why. i annoy pple every seconds and can't do without going near sum1 to disturb.. dats why I am currently experiencing depression and anxiety.. I am trying to overcome and stop dis annoying attitude because pple av criticised me a lot and a lot of frends av left me.. esp d quiet ones.. to b sincere na becos of introverts I dey suffer presently oo.. God punish dem.. life is boring without frends n I wonder aw sum1 will cope without a frends to hangout wit.. I tink all dis pple claiming introverts here dey lie jare

You know, there's this thing called emotional intelligence. It's understanding why people behave the way they behave and knowing how to act in different situation. Why would you blame someone else for your actions? You said you are annoying, now you're suffering depression because of of them? You just admit having a personality flaw, work on yourself Bro.
...Why would anyone claim to be an introvert when they are not? Yes, some people don't truly understand their personality; some are just shy, some have low self confidence/esteem and so think they are introverted. it's not because there's a medal for it, its just because that's what they think they are.

walexzee11:
FEAR is an ingredient of being an introvert, that's what makes them different frm extros. Most Introverts are timid cos of FEAR of rejection! thereby having low self-esteem.

You just made the whole thing complicated. First, you made being introverted all about inability to communicate.
"in one thing, if you want to conquer your fears, you have to start surfing the Internet on "how to communicate with people without fear"- these were your words.
See, Excellence in the communication department is called OUTSPOKENNESS and this is not a factor of being intro or extro.

Now you are making it about low self esteem and fear. I'm not sure you read people's comment before posting. I insist that the ability to speak up, make your voice heard, self esteem/confidence or lack of it has nothing to do with being intro or extro.
I respect your opinion but I have two questions for you.
1). Is fear limited to introverts
2). Does being introverted translate to low self esteem in all cases?

pweeryambre:
you must be mistaken if you believe that being an introvert amounts to being slightly more intelligent, there are quiet a lot them with average or below average intelligence.
Introvert on a deeper level simply means people that get their energy from internal source unlike extrovert that gets there's from external source. each has it's pros and cons.
The only thing is when an intelligent introvert speaks their words are taken more seriously than the one that is always talkng. Even when a retard is silent he will mistakenly be considered as wise.
I have a very extroverted friend with a very sound high IQ. I always like having her around and to pick her brain when she talks and the way she does things. So the intelligence thing goes both ways not exclusively for introverted persons as the way you make it sound.

I totally agree with you Ma'am.

Boc007:
Wow! So introverts are this much. I feel your pains. I just came in here to read comments. I believe in one thing, if you want to conquer your fears, you have to start surfing the Internet on "how to communicate with people without fear" Google is your friend, unlike police. Check my signature, I need a female friend who is an introvert, residing in Lagos jare, let me show you how to communicate with the opposite sex.

Jesus!
For the umpteenth time, being introverted is not the same as lacking communication skills! How does 'I don't like crowd' translate to 'I have communication problems'
And No, it has nothing to do with fears, it just the way they are wired.

kagari:
This is the first introvert on this thread, as an introvert people respect you, they want to hear your idea, your contribution, seek your opinion, call you that guy or girl with so much idea, in gathering, you easily change discussions from petty talks to productive ones. Mind you been an introvert doesn't make you shy or not outspoken, it only makes you slightly more intelligent than an average tom, why you think and fantasise all the time.

Yeah, true.
An AVERAGE introvert has the solution to problems. While you're shouting and worrying your head off, he's lost in thought trying to get solutions.
Basically, some of them are usually one step ahead.

holatimmy:
Every Jack and Jill will be claiming Introvert as if it's some sort of trophy...

Temperament defines everything accurately

Now there's no medal for claiming what you're not, is there?
Let people bask in the euphoria of what they are or what they think they are. Not everyone is gonna understand who they truly are. Like you said there's no trophy, so let them be.

kagari:
I totally understand you, but people like you are supposed to leave impacts here on earth cause been reserved you have more time to communicate with nature and think out of the box. But if you are reserved just to press your phone and frustrate your siblings some days of the week for no just reason, you need to reorientate yourself, and start socialising

A big round of applause for you!

Op, there are different cases involved here.
Introverts are not necessarily quiet, they just mostly have issues keeping friends.
You can be an extrovert and be shy.
Lack of self confidence is not the same thing as being introverted and vice versa.
No, it doesn't take self confidence to hang out with people.
You might be an introvert and still be outspoken and have self confidence.
And hey, being introverted doesn't mean you don't have a sense of humour.
Intelligence does not automatically come with being introverted. It's just that introverts have more time on their hands to do some critical thinking.