₦airaland Forum

but of course, nothing wrong with a nice looking 6 pack,

[color=#770077][/color] A year after my break up with my ex, I met someone, quite younger than me and I decided we had an 'open relationship' cuz common sense told me a proper relationship would not lead anywhere.

Now, 3 months on, its obvious he's seeing other people (even though he is thoroughly denying this) and its killing me. I have decided to let go of the 'relationship' and move on. But one thing I can say for sure is i DID not realise how much I had fallen for him till I let go. Its been just days after I made this decision and i feel soooo empty, 10x worse than I did after I broke up with my ex after a 5 yr relationship.

I have now accepted Im one of the most jealous ppl around. I wanted him all for myself even though my mouth was saying different, and even though I knew it would lead no where.

So, in essence, from a slightly experienced point of view; the OP is 100% right, if u are the emotional, jealous or insecure type, an open relationship is a definite no-no.

[color=#770077][/color]

I really feel ur pain @poster. I feel like women's instincts are really strong, dont know about u, but mine are. Sometimes we know the truth wen we look into their eyes, we know its over, the love, the umph can no longer be seen. Swthrt, it may be time to let go gracefully with ur head held high.

Before that though, it may be important to have a chat with him and see what he says, but babe, at the end, listen to ur heart.

ebenezer95:
My girlfriend demand Money before sex, am really confused about Nigeria girls sex is an important part of a relationship. but i don`t believe in paying for it. it is shared between two people who care and love each other Abi na lie?

this is true; i think its pretty obvious u should move on from her. Why would a girlfriend do that?

happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!

it can look gorg on some guys, especially the small diamond studs, Althought I understand the thing about looking irresponsible and it being childish,

When i was much younger, Whenever my mum came back from work or wherever, she could always tell from our bellies if we had eaten or not; for real, 100% accurate.

I was cooking some stew and rice for my ex's sister and their cousin whom i'd just known about 2 months for the first time. I am a pepper freak and like loads of it in my cooking, I mean loads. Right, from the blending of the pepper/tomatoes to pouring it into the pot and the stew getting ready; they couldnt stop coughing and laughing. It was sooo hot and in the air, they were coming into the kitchen and asking if I was alright but they couldnt stop coughing with tears rolling down their faces. I ,too was coughing but of course, u have to stand by ur work, so I stuck in the kitchen. it was soo embarrasing. I felt like they thought I couldnt cook. Anyway, served up, but they could barely eat, twas too hot for them.

Before the breakup, the sister got used to my cooking sha, but whenever I was cooking something she would eat, I'd reduce the pepper quantity,

Im a rice baby, always has been and unshamedly, always will be.

i cant not chew, been chewing eba for as long as i can remember; ive tried swallowing but to me, i dont enjoy the meal.Each to their own.

Almost 3 months now; im turning into a randy mare, lol

@ ik_moore2
I dont think its the case that ive 'outgrown him@ AT ALL, i just think i deserve someone thatll appreciate me more than he does, thats all, if all these didint come about, i can barely fault the guy and would have LOVED to spend the rest of my life with him without a second thought but it gets to that point where I dont feel he'll ever change adn if I decide to stick with him then I should put up and shut up; and I CANNOT do that. Every human has a threshold point, i jus think ive reached mine is all.

Nenum:
@poster i really feel your pain.

but i want us to look at the issues critically

1. first thing first, 5 years is really too long for a relationship (except we are looking at marriage), comon wats d long term plan.
2. at one point in every man's (80%of men) life we tend to cheat, comon wait a minute, for me yes i have cheated (note that is nothing any man should be proud off) in the past and the truth is i am done cheating now, not because of the love i have for my gf but because, i have had enough and i wanted too enjoy dis relationship at least for once and also my new found fear in God.
3. see, i understand that you are hurt, but i would advice that you tread carefully. as you earlier said you never know what is outside but a cheating partner is never a good option.
4. sum guys after a while decide to turn a new leave (sum after they are caught, but sum of us that got lucky, after we have had enough) who becomes the lucky one, the lady that meets us in the good state.

back to your case i think you sud still take your time before totally committing to sumtin else.

forget what the guys here are saying (let who has never cheated in his life cast the first stone)

trust me men change, just that we never know when so i advice ladies that their prayers should be that let them meet the right guy after all is set and done.

sum ladies would say, my guy doesn't play games, excuse me.
do u know how many ladies in your guy's past life that have suffered? just count your stars that he is all yours now, we cant say the same for the former ones.

as you heal your hart and go all out, please tread carefully and take all the time in the world before you take any decision.
shalom

1. first thing first, 5 years is really too long for a relationship (except we are looking at marriage), comon wats d long term plan.
Seriously, in my head, we would end up together. For goodness sakes, this boy goes on n on about how he cant wait to put a ring on my finger,cant wait to dance his heart out and show me off on his weding day etc etc. If u jus met this dude and he was talking about me, seriously, U would be like wow!, he goes on n on about me so much that sometimes, im like, is this really me that someone loves like this?, before i saw these messages, he was saying to me, oh, cant wait to make u my wife, etc, as in i have been convinced I will end up with him.

at one point in every man's (80%of men) life we tend to cheat, comon wait a minute, for me yes i have cheated (note that is nothing any man should be proud off) in the past and the truth is i am done cheating now, not because of the love i have for my gf but because, i have had enough and i wanted too enjoy dis relationship at least for once and also my new found fear in God.[color=#000099][/color]

Wat can I say?, its really depressing to feel he is possibly the best out there, as much as I refuse to believe it. I just pray that I will get that which I deserve cuz I know I have been faithful, given him everything, mind, body n soul, it just hurts that its all been thrown in my face,

About me taking my time, its been exactly a week now, and i have to say, my thoughts are beginning to change slightly, before now i was like i need someone!, now, im like, u know wat?, i'll just chill take care of me, do me and try to know who I am as a person. Been with the guy since 18, so in all reality, i only know wat im like with him in my life.

Anyway, massive thanks u guys for ur advices, all well taken,

[quote author=ik_moore2 link=topic=451663.msg6104492#msg6104492 date=1274986078]To me You have something good, come to think of think it for the past 5yrs u have not see him cheat on you red handed? just that u saw this facebook crib, personally i facebook to any lenght but dat does mean am interested with any of them

Since u can last wit him for 5yrs means u can still carry, on do know who u will be dating this time? maybe an armmed robber,, Gay, Gold-digger, Mike Tason etc that comes as your rescuer-prince charming? , u never  can tell,

I advise u keep him as just an ordinary friend and watch him from afar, that way u can ascertain if hes changed and at the same time safe urself the loneliness u are suffering now.


Forget all the foolish girls that are advising u to throw away your love, cos if u check well their BFs do worst tins than urs (BF) did, Hardly can u find guys that loves or have feelings for u to even want to change.

Keep what u have cos one at hand worths more than 1000 in the bush!!!!!!!!!!![/quote]Thats the problem, isnt it, saying keep wat uve got cuz u dont know wats out there, thats wat most people are saying ( the devil u know, ), so because i dont know wats out there i should stay with this guy n feel this pain? i physically cannot put myelf thru this pain no more, it jus hurts too bad. Yes, I miss him but in all of that I feel, u know wat, he aint my problem no more. Y shouldnt i think theres someone out there that deserves the love I have to give? y do I have to accept his nonsense? i have no idea how many of these girls he has met (facebook or otherwise) and has met up with, so u saying u chat girls up on fb n all that; its different him saying 'oh, cant wait to see u in july, wish u were here, i miss u soo much', im pretty sure if and when he meets up with these ladies they dont just sit n pray,

kpolli:
guys flirt, or did u catch him red-handed?

well, if u mean catch him in bed with anoda woman , no I ddnt. But do u need to see tht to know he is bein unfaithful? Only God knows how many of these girls he has slept with , I'm so far from him it's impossible to tell. Bur hey, wateva the case is, he is not my problem anymore

Tnk u guys so much, I KNOW I deserve better, and just pray that God knowing my heart, will bring to me wat I deserve and can handle. Thnks

tnx guys, was watching the TV and ddnt even realise I was crying, it hurts so much, Ur right, and I know going back should nt be an option as he will not change, i know that, tx, will try n find a way out of this one,

Right, I have been a frequent reader of the forums but have barely contributed; right now, im kind of in a fix and just need some genuine advice really.

I have been in a relationship with this guy for about 5 1/2 yrs now; he came to visit a few days ago; mistakenly left his facebook open and after browsing thru his messages, the only conclusion I could come to that he IS SCUM, basically, he had been chatting up females, saying he couldnt wait to see them, wished they were with him, misses them etc, blah blah blah. I'll give u an insight into the relationship; id be lying if i said the relationship was perfect. Yes, I had seen flirtatious messages and all that but each and every time he always begged, cried, 'babes, thats it, i'll change', and I always took him back, always. For the past year, I kind of moved away to study and generally, I figured maybe, just maybe he has changed. Whenever I spoke with him about these females n stuff, he always said that was the old him, hes grown now, he knows what he wants and its me., he also said i was the final stp for him, bla. In my mind n head we were gon end up together.

After seeing those messages, I just realised I genuinely couldnt keep decieving myself anymore,,he has pleaded, begged, called up all his family n friends to beg me, but i have just had enough. I just cant take it anymore. I have been very faithful to this guy, I dont have any 'spare or spares' as some women call it, just cuz its not my style and even if it was, im jus not smart enough to be playing guys,,,jus not my thing.

This whole break up incident happnd a few days ago and I have to say, am broken. For the past 5 yrs, I cannot remember the last time,( except we were arguing ) not being on the phone with this guy at least once a day. i feel sooooooo lonely, i dont know wat to do with my self half the time. Im not and have never been an outgoing person, I jus love to chill at home really,

FOr watever reason, I jus feel maybe I need to meet someone who will take this pain away. I do not know how thatll happen as i barely socalise. I do not know where to start. I do not want to go back with him but am sooo scared if I dont meet someone I might just go back. I have friends who have gone through similar things and I know the advice i'll give them if they were going thru the same thing but i guess the feelings different wen ur wearing the shoe.

Another question, are all men cheats? are men jus going to cheat on women no matter what?, are there men out there that will love u no matter what n be faithful?, i know these questions sound unreal but when everyone around me is telling me, just hold on to him, there r worse things out there; it wont get any better, I really dont know as he has been my first and only boyfriend,

Any advice will be welcome as long as its genuine and if uve gone thru something similar; ur experience will be well appreciated if shared,

am from EDO STATE. OREDO LGA,

Light blue by D&G is on my top 5 list,

$10,000 indeed
she must have been smoking something something when she said that.
besides, that gown looks cheap and trashy to me.
For just $50, I can look more poshy that she looks.

****tsssssssssskkkkkkkkkkk****

*took the words rite out of my mouth*

Beyonce, undeniably!!, hellooo?? ,

Personally, I think the vid is quite OK, now, what I have a problem with is the way the lyrics of the song ,in my opinion do not correspond with the activities in the video, am like, good vid but wats the connection wif lyrics?

Rita, Rita, Rita, where do I start, she is funny tho and obviously doesnt realise it which makes it even more funny-er!,

Oh Oyinda, tell me about it,, that guy is fyne, like, well,he's single now, am packing ma bags to LA to catch ma man , lol