₦airaland Forum

Guest007:
Romance section is for chasing lightskin babe (True story) MrCork

hmmmmmmmmmm

Jodera:
Yeah. But we are not talking about doubling hustle here na .
We are talking about "unclothedness" to/with your partner. Actually, for me, I think for a relationship to work it have to be 97% truth and 3% fib. Not everyone can handle the truth. So it's better you leave some things unsaid than sorry

December 15th came rather too slow for my liking. But, what does it matter anyways? It came.

What that day was?

It was the best day of my life, the day I've been waiting for years now. It was the most significant day in my life-or so I thought.
It was the day I and Henry tied the knot. The day I said "I do" to my dream man.

Here is my story.

Henry and I had a rather slightly difficult relationship, but we conquered after all, we defeated our families and their perceptions, also the couple of exes that arose from here and there plus other little little adversaries.

Three months after we started living as a couple, my husband's character changed drastically, he Started keeping late nights, taking secretive and suspicious calls, whenever he manages to return home while I'm awake, there's always a scent of a strange cologne on his wears.

I decided not to involve any of our family members into our matrimonial issues as we are still too young a couple to start having very controversial issues that would need third parties, moreover, I didn't even know what exactly to label the issue.

One fateful Sunday evening during dinner, a text from "Babe" entered a s phone. I didn't want to put interest, until he hasn't hurriedly left the dinning table for his car keys and off he went to God knows where leaving his food untouched.

I left the food too and followed him almost immediately in my car. We drove quite a distance from our house till his car entered a hotel and I still followed.
Arriving the reception, I noticed that he was attended to as a regular customer.
"I'm already there babe" came his voice as he received a call.

I followed him tiptoeingly* as he headed upstairs. He halted before a door and knocked. The door flung open and what I saw shocked the living daylight out of me.

A guy of about twenty years opened the door tying a towel around his waist. As he ushered Henry in, he held him by the waist and pulled him to himself as they kissed passionately...

I was stuck to the ground and couldn't lift a foot till I managed to regain composure with which I got home to rest my head and then ponder on what next to do.

#Fiction

Hello Lovelies.

I just want to remind you that some people are just here for sexual purposes.

Just incase y'all hangout, get mushy, have sex and he/she stops calling you, you will understand.

I can see that many are here thinking everyone is looking for a serious relationship like they are, wonderful�.

Everyone is not here to find love, some are here to get spine paralysing orgasms and Jaw shifting heads and then on to the next hottie.

Know what you are getting into and be fully armed. It's raining season, people are cold and beds need to be filled.

Not trying to spoil your business but heads up...some are only here for the ass and abs� Enjoy.

So, I ask, what you are really here for? Let us know who is who.


Edit- I am here to make friends, learn and laugh in comment sections

Jodera:
Aptly put. But then to find that true love you're preaching, one will have to go through series of heartbreaks and disappointment before he can luckily find such. Naija girls no too send sincere guys even tho they say they need sincere guys (irony) and naija guys no too send ladies who will tell them they need little money for pad or little stuffs, if not they'll term them gold diggers, prostitute and lazy. So you see, it's not easy as you term it to be.

And how many nowadays naija girls can you tell you're broke and they won't start giving you attitude or looking to opt out of the relationship? Relatively few I would say.

True, so double your hustle

If your romantic relationship isn't a platform where you can strip yourself of your ego and be vulnerable to the deepest then it's not ideal. I mean, intimacy means divulging everything about you, the freedom and liberty to be open, sincere, and real in a relationship is priceless.

...You'd not have to fake nothing.
...You'd have the confidence to tell your girl that you have a flat bank account and totally broke.
...You'd have the boldness to tell her you haven't eaten since morning because things ain't fluffy. Now there's fulfilment in this kind of relationship.

I find it highly ridiculous that some guys, even ladies lie to keep up a huge perception of themselves before their lovers. If you can't be open to your lover, who else will you be able to loosen up for?
Why even date them?

A bloke I know cannot tell his girlfriend that he's broke, a lady I know cannot tell her boyfriend that she doesn't have money to get her pads, why? Because they feel it's weird and it'd bring down their worth...
Listen, your true worth to someone who truly loves you will be your inner essence, your very personality, your values, not the things you have, and not a flamboyant perception of you.

Sadly these folks empower their partners to love them for wrong reasons. If you always avoid telling your woman you are broke, therefore putting up a financially capable image, most likely she's loving an unreal you. She's loving someone you are pretending to be. Why not be real and discover if you're truly loved?

You cannot find real love or build a real and deep relationship if you ain't real. You don't need much from a partner, you need someone who'll be okay with your realness; that you have just a pair of trouser, sleep on a mat, don't know how to use cutlery, haven't flown a plane. I mean all you need is one person who will accept your ‘naked’ self.

...Yourself without high public perception, yourself without ego and anything to hide. This is the beauty of a relationship. Even with all these, they still treasure you like gold.
Done abortion?
Had a messy past?
Tell ‘em who say they love you, it'll help verify their love.

When you paint a perfect and all sweet picture about you, any love and acceptance you get is FAKE because you ain't being real either...
Open up, be vulnerable. True love will accept the entirety of you. It's difficult but you see true love isn't so common..

Summary, you don't need someone who you're gonna struggle being real with... You need someone who'll deal with the REAL you, leaving you with the comfort to be more real.

Permission to share granted

Dear Ladies

Asking a guy for money few days after meeting him is so wrong. He'll definitely regard you as a cheap girl even if you're not.

A guy may approach you with serious intentions but how you go about "money" can easily change his mind.

Don't wrap your head around the misleading fact that once you meet a guy, you're entitled to his money. Build that friendship and mutual trust then let things flow naturally.

A guy that genuinely likes you will gladly give you money even when you don't ask, unless he doesn't have it or he's stingy.

It's OK to ask your man for money but don't just ring him up asking for money for petty things which you should be capable of. It will make you look cheap and unserious.

Ask for money with home training. Don't ask for it like it's your right. Don't threaten him with quitting the relationship if he doesn't give it to you....its very wrong.

A woman who lives by getting from her man will never become independent and men will always rubbish such a woman.

Some rich, independent ladies wouldn't have gotten to where they are today if they believed a man must always foot their bills.

Strive hard to become independent and always see your man's pocket as a backup option whenever you need finance to help you grow as a woman not everyday recharge card, T-fair and money to make your hair.

Remember, a good woman is her man's investment.

kunleweb:
And get hurt in the process of trying to bring them back home.

It breaks my heart that I had to break my own heart to cut off for someone I was and Stoll remain deeply attracted to because of media influenced personality issues. I'm not the holyspirit and don't have power to change people. Its also a two edged sword.

Samson tried to tame and change Deliliah. Myself and my brothers would rather go for ladies that have found themselves and have exited the confusion matrix than risk what's left of our peace of mind doing so. That's if we choose to open our hearts again. Cause love died a long time ago.. Interests and profiteering is all that's left these days

Magnolia

Not true, you will heal and find love again

emoa2002:
Anyway you are right shaa, but some ladies mind set or understanding has been influenced alot by what they see and hear from the social media. Which have made them to deviate from their humble up bringing

That why you are the man, you brinng them back home.

ADVICE TO MEN
I have been following updates in this group, and I have been observing very pretty ladies posting about them searching for their ideal husbands, that's the beauty of this group!
I observed again that the men here are complaining that the ladies are not replying their messages in their inboxes in spite of the fact that they said they are searching, hmmmmm! That's another funny twist !
The truth is , these ladies are not being sincere about what they are really looking for.
They should be more specific for men to understand.
When the ladies said they are in this group searching for their ideal husbands, the phrase "ideal husband " is not well explanatory enough, what they really meant is that they are looking for men that are financially comfortable to pay the bills, so when men message them, they first check if your pictures look rich enough for them, and if they are not impressed, they ignore your messages.
Don't get it twisted, these ladies meet men everyday, they are not really single, they are only not satisfied with the men in their lives, so they are here to look for men that will meet up with their financial needs
Most of them are looking for husbands that earns nothing less than 100k per month but they will not say it so that men will not start calling them gold diggers.
As funny it may sound, they are not impressed with a man's look, they only care about the financial stance. So men stop trying to post your nice pictures, these ladies care less, don't blame them, some of them are bread winners in their various families, so they didn't come here to play.

ADVICE TO MEN
I have been following updates in this group, and I have been observing very pretty ladies posting about them searching for their ideal husbands, that's the beauty of this group!
I observed again that the men here are complaining that the ladies are not replying their messages in their inboxes in spite of the fact that they said they are searching, hmmmmm! That's another funny twist !

The truth is , these ladies are not being sincere about what they are really looking for.They should be more specific for men to understand.
When the ladies said they are in this group searching for their ideal husbands, the phrase "ideal husband " is not well explanatory enough, what they really meant is that they are looking for men that are financially comfortable to pay the bills, so when men message them, they first check if your pictures look rich enough for them, and if they are not impressed, they ignore your messages.
Don't get it twisted, these ladies meet men everyday, they are not really single, they are only not satisfied with the men in their lives, so they are here to look for men that will meet up with their financial needs

Most of them are looking for husbands that earns nothing less than 100k per month but they will not say it so that men will not start calling them gold diggers.
As funny it may sound, they are not impressed with a man's look, they only care about the financial stance. So men stop trying to post your nice pictures, these ladies care less, don't blame them, some of them are bread winners in their various families, so they didn't come here to play.

Here are 12 Silent Killers That Destroy Relationships

Whenever we get into relationships, we always hope for the best. However, there is just no denying the truth that relationships are never a sure thing – no matter how pure your intentions might be going into them.

Be sure that you aren’t guilty of committing any of these 12 mistakes in your relationship, and you should be fine.

1. Senseless Jealousy

It’s nice to act a little possessive in a relationship. It makes your partner feel wanted and protected. But to be overly jealous about nothing is toxic and it’s destroying your romance.

2. A Reluctance To Give Each Other Space

Just because you’re in a relationship with one another doesn’t mean that you have to spend all of your time together. It’s always important to establish a sense of individuality despite the fact that you’re in a relationship. Give each other space to breathe and be your own persons every once in a while.

3. Liberal Use Of The Silent Treatment

You should never use the silent treatment as a tool to get what you want out of a relationship. You have to understand that part of getting what you want from your partner is being able to communicate your needs effectively. You aren’t going to solve the problem by just keeping quiet.

4. A Refusal To Engage In Difficult Conversations

Sometimes, the hardest discussions to have are the most important ones. And you can’t keep on putting these discussions off just because they somehow make you feel uncomfortable. You must be willing to talk to your partner about anything.

5. A Negative Demeanor And Outlook On Life

Stop being so negative and pessimistic about everything. You are going to be such an annoying person and no one will want to be around you if you keep on being like that.

6. Airing Of A Relationship’s Dirty Laundry

Keep the most intimate aspects of your relationship private. There’s no reason for you to be discussing your personal problems with your friends. Respect your partner’s privacy.

7. Ceasing To Take Care Of Yourself

Always make it a point to take care of yourself even when you’re in a relationship with someone. Show your partner that you’re always willing to put in the effort to be your best for them.

8. Getting Distracted Too Easily

Don’t let distractions get the best of you. When you spend quality time with one another, make sure that you put your phone down. Focus on yourselves even for just a little bit. Focus on the love you have for one another.

9. Not Actively Listening

Communication is a very important aspect of any relationship. You must always make it a point to actively engage in communication with your partner. And part of being a good communicator is being a good listener.

10. Immature Arguments

Never resort to personal attacks and malignant comments when you’re arguing with one another. Always keep things civil and mature. Argue like real grown ups who are genuinely trying to hear each other out instead of tearing each other down.

11. Failure To Make One Another Feel Appreciated

Don’t take each other for granted. Sure, it’s nice that your relationship has attained for itself a sense of stability. But that doesn’t mean that you are allowed to be complacent. Make sure that your partner knows just how much you appreciate them. Make their presence in your life feel validated.

12. Unreasonable Expectations

You always need to be able to maintain reasonable expectations for each other and for the relationship. Otherwise, you are setting each other up for failure and disappointment; and no one wants that.

Happy New week!

They are everywhere.

seniorgozman:
Please where do we locate such ladies?

THE ISSUE ABOUT SINGLE MOMS
Please approve*

I personally don't think young people today are that conservative that they can't settle with a single mom for social/cultural reasons.

I think for most, it's all economic.

Marrying a lady with a baby or two will mean you'll have to limit the number of the children you'll want to have in that marriage.
And how you take care of this family could turn out to be a problem later especially when you are not very wealthy or encounter financial problems in the future.

You'll be torn between making more commitments to your own biological children and your adopted children or child.

Admit it or not, the bond you share with your biological children will always be stronger than that of the adopted.
You'll find yourself being very partial where you're incapable of meeting the needs or demands of all the children.

So many men don't want to be in that position.
Especially living with the fear that the child will probably grow up and not accept you as his/her father no matter how much you try.
They will probably be out looking for their biological dad when they are adults, most likely if the man is richer than you are or doing better in life.

So it's really difficult.

I had to make this post for the single moms in the group, the blackmail is not really necessary.
You don't need to blackmail anybody, it's no one's fault that the father of the child is no longer around.

If you've decided to take care of your baby alone, plan for him, save up today and make sure that when the time comes, they will have everything they need in life to succeed.

Thanks for your time.

WOMEN HAS ALOT TO OFFER THAN SEX

I disagree when they say woman has nothing to offer in a Relationship. They have a lot to offer and it depends on the type of woman u mingle with and what made u fall in love with her.

If u mingle with a LovePeddler, she will always satisfy u sexually.

If u mingle with a slay queen, then ur bank acct is a sorry.
If u mingle with a woman of integrity, she will always encourage u positively.

If u mingle with a woman that has fear of God, she will lead u to church not bed.

If u mingle with a woman that is humble, she will ever remain loyal to u.

If u mingle with a domestic woman, she will always make sure that the house is clean and food on ur table wen u come bk from work.

If u mingle with a woman that is prayerful, she will always pray with u and pray for u, because a prayerful woman is the pillar of the family.

If u mingle with a woman that is economical, she will manage the little u have.

If u mingle with a woman that is magnanimous, she will always support u financially.

Finally, if u mingle with a woman that is caring, loving and kind, then u will know that woman has a lot to offer in a relationship and that would be the reason u say u can't live without her.

Guys when falling inlove, don't go for her looks, her shapes, pointed breast.
Don't fall in love with that brown powder on her face or her style of makeup. Other wise u will end up seeking advice on social media.

Credit to my mum suzzy

Yes she can.

xest:
you that is talking, what do u have to offer. You quick to call guys who hustle as broke. Can u hustle and give ursef a treat?

Newguyhere:
babe, did anyone here offend you?

Yes

It's okay

Pettyprincess:
Wow!!! This is interesting!!!
He is a broke guy that needed something to eat bt used the excuse of teaching you a lesson!!
All these facebook boys are usually broke!! We have many of them here also,they will be forming dangote bt real life they just looking for gullible girls to deceive nd probably scammed them!! That's why whenever i wanna go out with someone I'm always with my ATM card incase of necessity!!! Nd they usually dress nice nd look attractive,because they knew ladies are easily carried away by this stuff!!
At least you have learnt your lesson,avoid facebook instagram twitter nd nairaland guys!!

Thank you Sis.

Vulcanheph:
This one is strong

Very wrong

Some people can be petty with an extra.. Tueh!
I was scrolling through my messenger, having a good laugh at the number of unreplied messages and pitying the senders because if only they know how much messages I have right there, they'd pity me and not send even a hi. So, I stumbled upon this particular message from a son of man it read "hi, my favorite writer". For seconds, I felt my shoulder rise to the ceiling on their own accord leaving other parts of my body on the cushion where I sat.

First things first, I checked his profile on Facebook and boy, was he so fine! Pictures looking like they were shot with a camera yet to be seen. His pengness was out of this world, looking like something I've never seen before. See my life na, all these pengness and I've kept his message dated 5th July 2019 unreplied. I felt bad for myself at my stupidity and insensitivity.

Did Y'all read the part he addressed me as his favorite writer? Look at me na, a common Chidera like me. The only interesting thing about me is that I'm Emmanuel's daughter. See how I'm a fine boy's favorite writer. I thought of editing my bio and adding "someone's son's favorite writer", but I said let me reply him fess.

"hey there". I replied. I've learnt not to throw myself at people's sons from home training, so, being civil is everything. Luckily, fine boy was active and he replied in a space of few minutes.

We got talking o, from the usual "hi, whatsup", we extending to having very lengthy discussions telling ourselves how our days went and all that. We exchanged numbers too and got talking on the phone and chatting on whatsApp. In my mind, he proposed to me on my next year's birthday and we wedded, relocated to the finest part of Abuja leaving all the traffic life in Lagos and all the alaye jor jor jor lifestyle to start a family, a home of bliss. I even gave birth to twin boys, all in my head.

He later asked for a date. Normal, normal na, I feigned hesitation, but later agreed for a particular Saturday.

That Saturday, I told my aunt I was going to meet the loml and that in no time, she should be ready to meet her inlaw. I dressed up and left the house. The venue, somewhere around Festac (it's not like I can't remember the name of the place o, it's just that my heart is still not strong enough to).

We finally met, sat down, he placed his order and I placed mine. We talked and talked. I was talking like a radio without battery at the sight of a fine boy.

He excused himself, and that was it. Ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty minutes, fine boy was nowhere to be found. I called, I texted, no reply, no answer. Sensing what might have happened, I equally ate the food remnants on his plate. I mean, if I must pay for something, I must sha have enough food in my stomach. Incase I will be moved to the plate washing department, kitchen axis.

Thank God for vex money, I was able to foot the bills.

I got home that night and received a text from a strange number which read "for the times I spent pitying you on Facebook when you wrote about the loyl who later left you to wash plates in a hotel, this is you paying for them. I pitied you, thinking it was a real story only to realize it was fictitious, I felt you having a true experience won't be bad. At least, you have an experience to write about and entertain your followers with, thanks to me! Lest I forget, you're a jolly sweet girl, fun to be with and won't be bad for a girlfriend, I hope we can have another date. This time, a real one, bills wholly on me".

The nerve! I blocked the bastard.

Good morning everyone.....
I would want to say this clearly, many of you think you can use your opinionated posts to insult and abuse others who have contrary opinions to your beliefs and practices. You think you can come in the forum, put up posts that is not just insulting but condescending in a bid to drive home a point or personal opinion.

Please we allow all us here but it doesn't mean you should come shoving your migoynistic down the throats of others.

Be whatever you want to be in peace and respectfully allow others be themselves. This isn't a rant forum! Even if you want to rant do that with caution and be courteous in your doing it.

You don't expect people to clap for you when you've openly insulted and abused them with your post. There is always a reaction to every action and a negative action will get a negative reaction.

We are all humans here no matter our race, colour, beliefs, sexuality or whatever. Let's try as much as possible to accord others the respect that we want for respect is reciprocal.

From now no derogatory post will be approved mukina2 kindly look into this! No abusive post or introductions will be approved! If you are in anyway condescending in your post, it won't be approved! This isn't a market place where every and anything is allowed.

You can drive home your points without being insulting or condescending in anyway!

Thanks!

Good morning everyone.....
I would want to say this clearly, many of you think you can use your opinionated posts to insult and abuse others who have contrary opinions to your beliefs and practices. You think you can come in the forum, put up posts that is not just insulting but condescending in a bid to drive home a point or personal opinion.

Please we allow all us here but it doesn't mean you should come shoving your migoynistic down the throats of others.

Be whatever you want to be in peace and respectfully allow others be themselves. This isn't a rant forum! Even if you want to rant do that with caution and be courteous in your doing it.

You don't expect people to clap for you when you've openly insulted and abused them with your post. There is always a reaction to every action and a negative action will get a negative reaction.

We are all humans here no matter our race, colour, beliefs, sexuality or whatever. Let's try as much as possible to accord others the respect that we want for respect is reciprocal.

From now no derogatory post will be approved mukina2 kindly look into this! No abusive post or introductions will be approved! If you are in anyway condescending in your post, it won't be approved! This isn't a market place where every and anything is allowed.

You can drive home your points without being insulting or condescending in anyway!

Thanks!

One of my basic rule in a relationship is "No unvoiced expectations"

Let me use an incident that happened between my colleague and I to put things in perspective. We were sitting together in the conference room. I needed something to drink so I informed him that I'm stepping out to grab a drink then excused myself.

Moments later, I returned. Guy man asked if I brought him something of which I said no. He then started lecturing me on how I should have brought him a drink, according to him, it was the polite and sensible thing to do.

To be frank, I was thrown aback. So instead of guy man to communicate his needs, he expected me to read his mind and satisfy his unspoken desire. A lot of you do the same thing in your relationship. You expect your partner to automatically know what you like and need. And if he or she fails in reading your mind, you get upset.

I urge you communicate freely and openly.Take the guess work of your relationship by stating your needs and making sure you and your partner are on the same page.

No Unvoiced Expectations

To the Bigots in here:

It's clearly understandable why you're single. You can't be foolishly bigoted and expect to be in a relationship. No one should and wants to be subjected to your baggage.

That said, this section is called ROMANCE/DATE OR MEETUP and not BASHING SECTION. It's so exhausting the kind of comments I read on here sometimes. If at this stage in your lives, the existence of FEMALE folks is still a mystery to you, then you really should spend more time feeling bad for yourself rather than waste your ill emotions on futility.

People are here to find their soul mates; temporary or permanent, BI OR STRAIGHT. Whether or not you like it, it's reality. SUCH folks exist and they have the right to love like the human beings they are!

Quit with the entitlement already. No one cares about your reservations. Stop dimming your chances of getting a soul mate. We're not exactly happy to have your likes in here. Me especially.

I mean, one of you homophobes can start up a group and throw yourselves into it because I'm not going to stand for prejudice in this space.

That said, Admin do something about the hate speeches being used on this group. Isn't this supposed to be a liberal space? That's getting defeated.

"Hey Girl, can you marry me?" is not a proper way to begin a relationship. It is wack, weak and wrong.

Most men with self esteem issues but trying to cloth it with confidence which now interprets pride always wants you to be feeling like there is something you are lacking not being with them.

It is a lie.

A real man does value his Life, Pursuit and Home, he won't ask every other girl he meets to marry him. He knows it is a serious business.

All those boys with 'Marriage first' tendencies are actually 'Chop and Clean mouth' masters who knows that because marriage is a Prayer Point for most ladies, the biggest way to have a large catch is to proclaim marriage.

Of course, many have fallen into the holes and where slaughtered.

Even a Virgin Marry was to be put away when an unfathomable pregnancy came along. So why should a brother be begging you with marriage? He knows what he wants and he has only released one of his arsenal of baits.

So brother at 35 is welcoming on WhatsApp with "I don't want friendship, I want marriage" and you are excited. Ask why he hasn't gotten married even after singing enough Justin Bieber to all the girls, yet?

No, you won't ask, you are engrossed already. Oh I forgot that there is a Prophetic utterance on your head "Your wedding must hold this year!".

May Sense lead you!