₦airaland Forum

sistawoman:
yes it is innocent fun.

I am a big flirt and my hubby knows this so when i flirt he says he just feels sorry for the guy because he is going to get all hot and bothered and have to go take a cold shower.

I am sorry I have to say I feel sorry for your hubby if he thinks you can never be hot in his absence. Or maybe himself is too busy to care.

sistawoman:
Could it be that the housewives are just having some inncent fun in flirting with the UPS and DHL guys but they really have no intentions beyond flirtation?

Is this in Nigeria or another country?

You call an open flirtation by a married woman with a strange adult male innocent fun? I am sure this housewife has sth to tell us we dont know.

I can tell you are very modest person even in your choice of words. But how barely is barely?

Any way I agree with you some people do get carried away.

babycool:
@ Poster

Where did you get your information from? By experience i understand that these kind of statement may arise from watching too much porn!

Could you pls tell us a bit about this your porn experience?

@OP
You are jobless. You are hungry. You probably risk eviction. Someone offers to reverse these for you but will leave you with a little discomfort in your rear.

Why do you think people go into prostitution? Get yourself a nice lubricant.This queer sexual preference is uncommon around here which means its an opportunity that may not come again.

I hope you tell us about it when its done.

Me neither. Speaking seriously now, its only a matter of time before career Players start abandoning more lucrative jobs to deliver mail for DHL and UPS. That is if they have not started already. Guys always looking out for adventure, remember to watch your rear end.

y me:
ok, i don hear una

You sound like a mail man

@OP
That is because mail man is available and he has a dic.k.Men of the house or husbands y'all beware of any one who falls in this category.

Double sigh.

Anyway, make the threads dem dey plenty.

@rockvaven
I see you are a legal agbaka who also specialize in money laundering. I hope the op gets your counsel.

When the dust finally settles on the epic battle with the rogue bank, hopefully op will find it worthwhile to help give a legal slap to Nigerian orthopedic surgeons with another law suit.

Virtually every case of fracture I have heard of lately ended up in India after being mismanaged by so called consultant orthopedic surgeons in Nigeria.This is shameful. It calls to question the quality of surgeons being turned out by the various postgraduate medical colleges.

JJYOU:
check his record he is always causing my sisters pain.

Sweet pain.

Unfortunately I couldnt find a role in my narrative for the growing army of ass-licking maggots that abound.It should however not be misinterpreted as a lack of love because we are all creations of the almighty.

dmy:
@sweetpain.na wa 4 u oh.so u just dey string NLanders along like sey u dey find advise.well your 'story' makes 4 good reading.next time try and be more creative with your ending.

You dey craze. Na for NL I go find advice? OK, finally Ms 20's fiancee called Theboyskee who has been suspicious of our liaisons trailed her to the hotel where he caught us red handed. He went mad, and set the hotel ablaze. He was eventually caught, tried, found guilty and sentenced to 10yrs imprisonment but ended up doing 15yrs.

Amigoz:
Sweetpain,

Gosh u took me back to dem days of reading M&B's ,

It's only 9am and I wouldnt mind getting me some,

Kudos on ur writing, Beautiful!

Even for you alone darlin, its been worthwhile sharing my life's more prized moments.

freezy:
Chief,

You are such a beautiful storyteller. Have you ever considered a career with Hints or any of them soft sell romance magazines? You'd probably be the chief scribe  . If you think some us of here were at any point carried away by your sweet tales, think again!!!  The truth however must be said,  you have one helluva sense of imagination. You are probably a genius in the making. Keep it up, bro. It'll come in handy one of them days.

Nothing spectacular about these events.If you remove the occasional hyperbolics, what you get is hardly enough to raise eyebrow.

MrCrackles:
LMFAO!

The young man with herpes. I see you've not lost your sense of humour afterall.

So D-day finally came yesterday. Zero hour was 7pm. All arrangements had been made even to the finer details. To wifey, I would be working late. She had no reason not to believe me this once because this is a hardly used alibi. In any case she would be too busy with my rare gift of two of the latest home video CDs (never shown on DSTV).Their delivery had been carefully timed.

The debonnaire gentleman
In the office, I had a shave and a cold shower then opened a fresh pack of D&G shirt chosen to go with my favorite blazer. Thereafter with a dab of cologne and a hint of musk I was ready to roll. Before I left, I had one look at the man in the mirror and flashed my usual Clint Eastwood smile. If I was a lady I would love me right now.

In the car I tried to focus on my objective and not get carried away. I ejected Marvin Gaye CD that was playing and replaced it with the cleansing jazz of Sadad Watanabe. In no time I began to see that the whole hype wasn’t worth all that trouble. If I was a little more trusting in my will power and in myself as a man there will be absolutely no need.

Meet the  lady in pink
On getting to her door I gave two brisk tap and in no time the door swung open. There stood Helen in all her majesty wearing her satin pink wetin call. I took the door from her and very gently closed it. That was when she gave me the hug. It was magical especially the way it sent ‘strong will’ out the window-piaaam. I returned her hug and allowed my fingers to wander a little below the waist line. I could already tell she wasnt wearing any panty. You are an evil man Sweetpain, she declared rather nonchalantly heading for the kitchen.

I looked around, taking in the flat-which looked rather well appointed and befitting of my hostess. She had obviously spent a lot of time in the dining area preparatory for this date. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know that I am not a food person. Always lacked the pleasure most derive from eating ‘faourite food’. Infact among my fantasies when I was younger was getting a pill to keep away hunger for a whole week or more. My lack of appetite for food more than compensated for by my other appetite. But since I hate to be a kill joy I have to eat as much as possible and be seen to be enjoying the food.

As we ate, we talked. With a husband and two kids in boarding school, she has done quite well for herself. They already have a house and are planning on building a second. Her work responsibilities goes beyond her immediate branch she says. It didn’t take long for me to figure that she is the one carrying the family along. The husband is a contractor who parades a big family name. For the uninitiated, contractor in Nigeria means hustler (not necessarily dignified).

Did she look for me?
Any way the discussion could have gone on all night but I seized the right moment to ask “Did you look for me”? She was brutally frank (maybe too frank) when she said “No!”. And then she continued “I was confident you will look for me. When you didn’t, and it was time for me to move on, I felt hurt, broken and used after what happened between us in camp”. When I began to narrate all the troubles I went through in trying to find her over the years, Helen was moved to tears. I held her close as she sobbed on my shoulder. That was when she reminded me of her uncle who facilitated her redeployment and who I could have contacted. In the end I had no choice but to conclude that we were both screwed by Esu (the god of reversal. W.S).

Let the music play
Dinner served and devoured, we moved over to the sofa and it was time for her to ask all the questions. As I replied each and everyone, I watched as her expressions changed from excitement, to incredulity, bewilderment, etc but they have one string linking them all -spontaneity. After all these years, Helen has not changed one bit.

Before long we were on the floor dancing more like rocking to old school blues. She had her feet comfortably planted on my instep so there was no real motion and this must have gone on for eternity. How she smell nice.

I sense trouble
When fatigue got the better part of us we had to retire back to sofa but this time with her head on my lap. Naturally my hand had no where else to go but her thighs and her chest and every where else in between. I did notice something rather unusual though since I arrived the apartment. My kini is not showing quite the same enthusiasm. Now I think there is a problem because she appears to have been aroused and has made for kini.

After more than 5 mins of deadlock with my hostess getting increasingly restless I decided to perform my usual magic-zip down. Still nothing. This is something I have only read about but never witnessed. With the situation getting increasingly desperate, poor Helen is giving me the Monica Lewinsky treatment. Kini shivers and comes alive ready for mounting only to crash to gravity after 6 sec. I was so embarrassed I got my zipper up.

I have to say I enjoyed myself intensely until that moment. Following that I felt so inadequate and just wanted to disappear. Helen’s suggestion that it could have been the overwhelming tension sounded like a good safety net but I didn’t want any excuses for what was obviously an embarrassing failure and overall nightmarish outing. Not sure if I remembered to say good night.

On my way home, I pondered what could have been responsible. I decided it was no use going home now because there was no way I could sleep. Like a flash a thought came to me. I placed a call to Ms 20 I was to meet in 48hrs. I will be going out of town (I lied) could we hang out this evening? She said ok and was on her way. I thought I felt a quake in my bossom already.

Crime scene
So it was that my evening ended up at a hotel I had no intention to be whatsoever yesterday. Without much ado we got down to it. Things went rather normal at first. The initial sex moans and all that. The problem is that you never know if they are genuine or not.I generally don’t like to hear it. Later in my subconscious I thought this had turned into grunts and then I think silence. Unknown to me within all that relentless thrust, almost an hour had passed. When I looked she was limp. I checked for signs of life. I could see none. I panicked. Like they do on TV, chest compression oya. This was futile on bed so I had her transferred to the floor. Then kiss of life. This was done in alternation. People will say I used her for ritual. I am finished. Off to the bathroom, got water and splashed on her face. Gradually, Ms 20 came to. When she did her first question was ‘what am I doing on the floor’? ‘Oh we were having fun you got dehydrated and then you passed out’. ‘Oh you don’t say.’ If only she knew how close to death she came.

spoilt:
The plot thicken. 

My sister. No be small thing. I fight my own battles everyday. Apparently the ring on my finger is not a deterent. Its worse with exes who think they have rekindling rights.    so i know what mr sweetpain is talking about! When all else fails, there's always willpower sha . 

@ sweetpain, your mind is made up. When you get there to that 'guesthouse', take a good look at her and in your mind's eye strip away her weave, fake lashes and nails and see if the jackdaw  that surfaces is worth throwing away your marriage for. 

I feel pained when people reduce what I have for Helen to the mere physical.If it was, I would have forgotten about her a long time ago. She would have been long lost as one of my numerous conquests tucked away in the basement of a forever wandering mind.

But it transcends the physical. What I have for her is deeply emotional if not spiritual because I have seen her since that encounter as a core part of my destiny and my being.That she loves me dearly has never been in doubt.I believed her when she told me quite simply that I make her sooo happy and that she hoped I wont let her down.

The question I will be asking her tonight is- did she look for me too? Did she make any effort? At all?

hollandis:
"
Is sex "the be all and all "of your existence? 
omashe o

On the contrary this is a battle of wills against sex on account of the stakes being too high.You dont understand what is at stake here.Do you?

segzi cres:
if she's not married, you should acknowledge the invitation and lick her with anger.

Are you suggesting I Ignore the invitation because my Helen is married to someone else? In my state of mind right now even the husband cannot stop me from entering that apartment unless she says or hint to me that I shouldnt come.

This past 24hrs has not been easy. At least 2 people in my office said they could swear they saw me smiling to my self. If only the fools know what is going on in my mind. I overheard one of them saying it has to do with the bank manager's visit.Hard to blame them.They've all picked up cheques in a 28-day month believing they earned it.

The problem is that right now, I have lost all concentration ahead of tomorrow's planned meeting. I have decided that I have to attend or else I will be miserable-that simple.I had also thought of going there with my bossom friend to pinch me when things start getting out of hand. Unfortunately he is frying in his own soup as we speak having made some bad business decision.So you can discount women issues from all his engagements in the immediate future.

The option of meeting in a public place comes to mind. But which public place in Nigeria is it socially acceptable to be alone with a married woman? (None existent) parks? Eatery? Otio.

All I have to depend on now is my will power. Perhaps this is one major asset I have overlooked until now. I have been through situations many will consider extreme both in business and in love requiring strong will and I have always triumphed.

I will go. We will talk, laugh and remain best of friends.

@lana & Outstrip
Thanks. Helen was my secret obsession for several years.Earlier in my search for her I tried to develop leads based on her unusual surname and dad's occupation.Even travelling across states. No luck.I remember taking out on at least 1 occasion a discreet classified ad with her name, place last seen my GSM no but with a female name (in case she was married).Of course she doesnt know any of these. Like they say, Helen cut me real deep. It is difficult to resolve things like these over the phone. I want to know about the life she's had. Her joy and sadness etc.

Treetop20:
why are you making excuses for her?
why don't you just say you want to go ahead and sleep with her?

I cant be making excuses for her.I dont see why. Life has been good to me. And so I can choose what I eat, when and where. I usually do not wait for circumstances to present me with what I eat. All things considered she does not on account of her liabilities (marital status and family, job and career, social standing and potential for a major scandal) fit into the picture of whom I would like to date.

jamace:
Brother, flee as fast as your legs can carry you from her. I bet the devil will overcome you into shagging the hell out of her. And for your information, once you do her,  the shagging will never stop untill the husband grab both of you. I know the urge to meet her is high but resist it with all your might. Enter into your room right now and pray against meeting her. Shout "NO, NO, NO, NO, DON'T DO IT,, NO, DON'T DO IT" as many times as possible to yourself. This is  necessary to charge your willpower and arouse both your consiousness and subconsiousness to resist her advances. May God protect you from the  doom that is about to come.  Amen!

Thanks bro.Indeed I have heard a thing or two about the husband-like he is unreasonable and very stupid.But stupid people do stupid things esp in extraordinary circumstances.

But what reason can I possibly advance for not showing up? I cant tow the religious line because she knows me more than that. Besides it wont wash considering our little office display.

In any case I truly want to be alone with her if only to relieve old times and fill in the gaps.I also recognize that if sex comes into the equation, this relationship wont be over any time soon.

MrCrackles:
Eat a herpes infected dic.k, u sex starved slowpoke!

OK. See you around.

Now back to topic. D-day is getting closer. I am a wreck. What do I do?

MrCrackles:
Stop being a Arrow, i am only a "youngin" and certainly aint married nor bleeped a married woman!

Surely being a 'youngin' shouldnt stop you from having common sense. Ever been in love? Ever had sex before? How really young are you?

MrCrackles:
POSTER

Leave a married woman alone!

If you must go, de-tach your wanton dic.k from your body!

You seem to have some experience in these matters. Have you done it before? How did you do it?

Hollysmile:
De moment u go shag, u'll end up like ur name - sweetpain. You'll move from sweet life to painful life (exit).
Cos, God go shatter u biz, bless u with one slot wey go bring AIDS come give u for ur own house, you go turn impotent, etc! Den, u go dey feed from hand-to-mouth till u die. Shebi na toto u want, na de only thing wey dey kill man sharp-sharp, nao!

AIDS? Condom will checkmate that.Impotence? My kini has an inbuilt battery that is air powered (not even solar). All I need to do is zip down.Toto kill person sharp sharp? Sorry o as your life come be like this.

tpia:
you were tempted to close down your business for the day, because of sex.

The usual customers are here, welcome. Please understand me. I can kill and hide a cow in my office without any one knowing. I just didnt want any distraction. I hope you qualify to post on this thread.

Sorry I wasnt clear enough. Marriage is among the weightier issues on her side. Thanks for advise

Helen was a girl I knew in camp as a fellow corper many years ago.She was one of two pretty girls I saw having a gossip on the return leg of a marathon walk. I invited myself into their discussion and was fortunately welcomed.We yarned all the way to camp.

In the evening and for much of the night we got seriously acquainted and even made out (kiss and play), all the fatigue not withstanding.We were to have hot passionate sex at least twice before camp broke.To most of us the posting that came was a sham. Helen got redeployed with one phone call and I, despite all efforts at redeployment ended up in the middle of a place called No-where.

Of course there was no GSM at the time. And that was the beginning of my long, frustrating and fruitless search for Helen the microbiology graduate. All I had to remind me of her in later years was a photograph we took with the camp commandant (a Major) standing in between us.The rest had systematically disappeared in my home over the years.

Fast forward to present day.I had through my lawyer recently served a notice of total war on my bank of several years. The account officer determined to make peace intimated me that her new boss would like to meet me to which I reluctantly concurred. Then, in walked Helen. Of course instantly I forgot the purpose of visit. After the initial shouts and all that you are so this and and you are so that, we are embracing, we are handling and we are kissing passionately.My hand was all over her to which she responded invitingly. I was so thrilled I only managed to restrain myself from closing down my business for the day and telling everyone to beat it. 

Now, here I am looking at her sms invitation to her temporary company guest house accommodation.I recognize there are issues on my side and even weightier issues on her side.If I choose to go, the only way to avoid having sex is leaving my manliness behind.But If I dont I will not only be letting a close friend down but the huge void that has persisted in my life all these years on account of her absence will remain and might even get wider.

What will you do if you were in my shoes? If you are a Nigerian, male and under 35yrs of age, please do not feel compelled to respond to this post.Not even if you are a moderator on NL. Thank you.