₦airaland Forum

@poster

Sometimes l wonder why most ladies bring up there home problems in public, please l will advice you pull off this topic immediately and go on your knee OK.

Jst take it as a joke from him but if you think this advice is not good enough then call it off and get a better guy that will not cheat on you. or are you saying you never cheat on him too? am sure you did jst that the result is yet to come up.

Take heart and move on part of live

"9 Most Shocking Secrets Women Don't Want Men to Know, "

Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman’s mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say. They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Read on to discover some of the most shocking secrets women don't want men to know.

1) Blonds aren’t always dumb- If you thought all of them were dumb than you are strongly mistaken. Hair colour does not affect a person's IQ. They only act dumb to seem cute or get you to spend money on them and if you do that than you are dumb not them.

2) Women get jealous as hell- They might deny it but the fact is they get extremely jealous even if their man talks to a random female or maybe a friend. She might pretend to act all nice but inside her jealousy volcano is about to erupt.

3) I am the sexiest of them all- Every woman has this mind frame no matter how much they try to deny it. Almost every woman wants to feel like the one and only beauty queen in the world as if nothing compares and demand royal treatment from all men.

4) Am I fat- I know you’ve heard this one time and again but let's all admit to it officially! No matter how skinny she is she would never consider herself thin. Almost every woman occasionally asks this annoying question- "Am I looking fat in this honey?”

5) They always lie about shopping- They might be out grocery shopping but always end up getting something for themselves which they thought was cute. They either try to hide it or lie about its price saying it was on sale.

6) Don't share secrets with them- If you have than you are already on Cool FM radio. Almost every woman shares each and every secret with her friends. They tend to share their secrets over a cup of coffee and have a good laugh over it. And yeh when I say secrets it means your private secrets as well ( he he) if you know what I mean.

7) What shoes are you wearing- If you thought it was a myth than think again. Women do judge a man by his shoes. So better make it a point to wear nice clean shoes the next time you walk out.

They know when you are cheating- Women have inbuilt instincts and emotion system which beeps and alerts when their man is cheating. No matter how big of a player you are you would always be caught no matter what.

9) An absolute must know for you- This secret is an absolute must know for you no matter what. This is the grand daddy of all which would give you the ultimate power to become a magnet towards which every woman would be attracted. This is only known to a few and you could be one of the lucky one's who will being introduced to this shocking secret, but hard to say here::: but for now keeping seaching and hiting the ladies like never before and remember ladies are created for your living guys

@poster

Get ur baby too before the wedding, or advice him to go on with the mother of his baby, l guess that will be better. yes very good advice from me

@poster  

how do you mean? or did l ever tell you am attracted to nairaland?,

1) Nairaland is a place were most insultive people is free to express there handwork

2) A place were most area boys and girls advertise themself ( notice me )

3) Place were ugly girls pretend to be the most beautiful girl in the world

4) A place were freedom of speech is limited otherwise ban

More about nairaland but let me stop here otherwise ban

sagacious:
Hello buddies,
Need information on colur of cloth, cake and gift item one can send to those we care for on day.

Brown Akara, white Cake, Black gift will show a sign of love to any partner

londonlady:
A good friend of mine has been dating a nice guy for a few months now,
he is not usually her spec, as in,
*she looks down on his career
*she constantly compares him to her exes
*she is taller than him
BUT, my dear friend is saying all the right things, acting the right way, being sweet, kind, God fearing, patient, even-tempered, why?
she wants to get married.
the guy is head over heels in love and does everything for her, in turn, she does too.
her real plan is to marry him, get her papers as she is currently on a student visa, have one child, divorce him and move back to nigeria.
she never wanted to be married for life, but she wants a child and also wants her papers.
she is extremely clever by the way, currently doing her PHd in Business Administration at a top 20 school and stunning.
this guy by the way IS making plans on marrying her thinking he has found the one.
Na wa oooooooooooooooooooooooo

You think she is cleaver?, then you watch and see remember what goes around comes around.

You are evil and l think you need help.

Guys jst read this and see ladies PROCEDURES

Please note that the bank is installing new
"Drive-through" teller machines. Customers will be able
to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To
enable customers to use this new facility the following
procedures have been drawn up. Please read the
procedure that applies to your own circumstances
(i.e.MALE or FEMALE) and remember them when you use the
machine for the first time.


MALE PROCEDURE

* 1 Drive up to the cash machine.

* 2 Put down your car window.

* 3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

* 4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

* 5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt

* 6 Put window up

* 7 Drive off


FEMALE PROCEDURE

* 1 Drive up to cash machine

* 2 Reverse back the required amount to align car
window to machine

* 3 Set parking Brake, Put the window down

* 4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

* 5 Turn the radio down

* 6 Attempt to insert card into machine

* 7 Attempt to insert card into machine

* 8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car

* 9 Insert card

* 10 Re-insert card the right way up

* 11 Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside of the back page

* 12 Enter PIN.

* 13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

* 14 Enter amount of cash required

* 15 Check make up in rear view mirror

* 16 Retrieve cash and receipt

* 17 Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside

* 18 Place receipt in back of checkbook

* 19 Re-check make-up again

* 20 Drive forward 2 feet

* 21 Reverse back to cash machine

* 22 Retrieve card

* 23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided

* 24 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers queuing behind.

* 25 Restart stalled engine and pull off

* 26 Drive for 2 to 3 miles

* 27 Release Parking Break

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

BOYS

1- Drive to the bank, park, go to the Cash Dispenser
2- Insert card

3- Dial code and desired amount

4-Take the cash and the card



GIRLS

1-Drive to the bank
2-Check make-up in the mirror
3- Apply perfume
4- Manually check haircut
5- Park car - failure
6- Park car - failure
7- Park car - success
8- Search for the card in the handbag
9- Insert card, rejected by the machine
10- Throw phone card back in handbag
11- look for bank card
12- Insert card
13- Look for piece of paper where secret code is written in handbag
14- Enter code
15-Study instructions for 2 minutes
16- #Cancel#
17- Re-enter code
18- #Cancel#
19- Call boyfriend to get correct code
20- Enter desired amount
21- #Error#
22- Enter bigger amount
23- #Error#
24- Enter maximum amount
25- Cross fingers
26- Take cash
27- Go back to the car
28- Check make-up in rear mirror
29- Look for keys in handbag
30- Start car
31- Drive 50 meters
32- STOP
33- Drive back to bank machine
34- Go out of the car
35- Take card back from machine
36- Go back to the car
37- Throw card on passenger seat
38- Check make-up in rear mirror
39- Manually check haircut
40- Go into roundabout - wrong way
41- BREAK
42- Go into roundabout - right way
43- Drive 5 kilometers
44- Remove hand brake

Why cant ladies jst take the step of Men and let the world go smoothly,

@poster Nice one keep it up atleast the man needs new blood in the body, Remember givers never lack.

Incase the man leave you pls try to get another married man ok to donate new blood for i promise you will be rewarded in cash, in love and security. agbaya

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:

Make the women happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played.


HERE IS THE GUIDE TO THE POINT SYSTEM::


SIMPLE DUTIES:


You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+ But return

with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-10)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college

buddy (-2) Named Victoria (-4)

Victoria is a dancer (-6), Victoria is single and is really beautiful (-80)


HER BIRTHDAY

You forget her birthday (-50000)

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)


COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned __expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have

yimiton:
Ideas from a fellow guy. Sylvao, please respond. MOST is what you said!
This is a real wa!

MOST and l stand by it OK.


@dipo2much , A free world!!!   express urself boy, but sometimes be wise its help.  ID**T

Joey82:
@sylvao

was just thinking, were it not u that was asking d house whether to marry your 15yr old girlfriend?

well if u're up to marriageable age n your girl is just 15, that means u've not started mingling with big girls, was just thinking mayb your 15yr olds generally stink because they're still cleaning catarrh sideways.

me thinks its time u go 4 them girls that blow their catarrh in their hanky and clean their noses properly dried huh?

Did l ever told you l was dating a 15years old girl , pls be carefull what you say OK, because l can easily get you arrested and charge you to court for false information

yimiton:
Mine oh mine!

I thought I wasn't going to contribute to this thread, I just wanted to watch it grow and laugh my head off. But this is too much for me to handle!
Ha Sylvao, you didn't even say 'some girls' you said 'most girls', my guy, you have really fumbled
I think you deserve what is coming to you.
Come to think of it, are you really dating a 15 year old? That is child abuse!

Do you really believe in him he is just a drunk joker,

candies:
I'm cracking up with laughter on this thread!
I knew it was going to be this interesting, I decided to sit back, watch and laugh my head off.

Siena, I feel you, Candies, you're cool, FactorChic, you're so funny! babycool, you've got the right words!
As for me, I'll continue watching and laughing off my pretty eyes!

Where is the poster?

let me think of what to do with you this morning or to avoid the next hit on you l advice you face your front and do what you are pay for , l guess that is clear and simple enuf for you to understand or else hmmm.

Siena:
Syl, just one question - where do you get your stats from?

Don't forget, some guys smell too!

Did l said guys dont smell? but girls is just too much haba 91%

@poster just pray for her and walk away she will feel the pain for real

@FactorChic , Did you read the post up there? or you jst saw what some smelling chicks put down, Hey girl l never said ALL girls but MOST girls OK, like l said some girls really smell nice, Wait FactorChic most girls that smell feel too proud and important why? you could see why l said they really dont NO.

So FactorChic you check urself if you are part of Girls Smelling Club of 9ja Plc, l know it sound offencive but l will advice you check urself with style, l trust you for that l know you will do it


@adeboo My dear keep it real , one love Girl.



@Busta, You are an ld**t

Hisssssssssss l guess you need a better job

Yaaaaaaaaiiiii too long a post hold on let me get my PA to read it out for me.

Gbemyte:
dude i can now see that u re a pig am not amazed that u ve piglets around your waist fool

Still seaching for the right word l guess you know words are not easy to find for smelling goat like you

babycool:
sylvao2000 and adeboo

The question you should be asking yourselves are; Why do you get attracted to dirty girls?

And the answer is; Birds of the same feathers attracts each other!

I guess most ladies that responded to this thread expecially YOU smell ,  huuuu too bad

candies:
Yea kpa!

Aproko,  Be ready to buy more  pop corn,  make you none work till them sack you before your eye go clear and learn how to mind your business hisssssssssssss

akudo1:
hey sylvaoo
to define u in a nutshell, I 'll just say u 've been smelling u all these years. meanwhile, I'm qiute sure u;ve never dated any big girl so don't even try to shine on us alright.
PLS TRY TO CHANGE UR BOXIES ALL THE TIME COS I FEEL THATS WHAT You SMELL ALL THE TIME.

Out of point , and  too busy for YOU, next

saucekid:
now,
why do they stink?

I cant really explain but l guess overfeeding ( jokin ooo )

Gbemyte:
sly
why didnt u just sit down and think about a lovely and learnable topic to post that posting a rubish u called a thread.ve never see u posting a reasonable topic.

Still seaching for  a word to discribe your kind of idiot

Nautillus:
@Topic

Dude, stop pointing fingers ok. in "YOUR GALS" defence, take a wiff of your balls deep into the afternoon^{this is, assuming you had a bath that morning}   your testosterones will most probably make you gag for air._{and to say that your genitals are outside unlike the gals}

You have to salute your average African girl, we live in a Humid & hot enviroment and yet MOST of them still keep it odour free.

Am sorry ok was just trying to be real, l never said ALL  but MOST ,  like l said earlier SOME smell real good and l do appreciate them for that

candies:
Too bad, birds of a feather. . .

Oh my Gosh!!
Didn't see that earlier. Jkpretty, you rock!

You Sound Jobless,

work to do out of here

candies:
@ sylvao
Who cares weather you stink or not?
It's not a secret all your posts always stink. By their posts you know them!

Who cares weather you stink or not? CANDIES CARES

l guess ur post stink most

candies:
@ sylvao,
There's a big difference between SOME and MOST.
If your girl smells so nice that you eat her often, what business have you got with other girls?

See how Shallow you are, Do l hve to eat all girls before l know they stink my dear dnt prove to this forum you stink ok

adeboo:
There are different reasons why a woman stink -
- bad bad hygiene (most don't shave armpits or their gravel pit, don't wash down there with a 'idi' wash.
- where they store their clothes (could be damp)
- they may have a health issue.
- maybe they are just damn dirty
- some of them just smell like stale sweat
- and some were not washed properly at birth

Thanks::: you got my points this really prove there are still mature ladies on this forum

Dumb points,  this proved you are yet 2 get something out of life grow up girl long way to go, people like you end up getting marry to 77years old man ,  and what did you come out from in school?

@candies : l know you are mad at me but that wasnt a personel issue or do you STINK?? , My girl smell real nice l eat her every moment she is around and l love her being around me ok. l dont need a good tooth brush none paste. I already got a nice smell thanks,

Ladies am sorry OK l never met to get you all drunk, jst saying what l observe l guess is the kind of girls l move  around with but they are big girls too and they are still girls though but the most importante issue here is MOST GIRLS STINK take it or leave it.

Well it could be a problem they got no ldeas for or should l tell them? And pls dont get me wrong some smell nice ooh and l flow with them, sometimes l could be tempted to kiss them right away.


Note:: Big girls dont insult guys

One love ladies::::

l guess love was said to be 50/50

Story That Touch 4 Real

Good Morning Ladies.

@poster ------ You should be arrested and jail for life , this world sef.

@poster ------ Did you just slept with her or was in relationship with her? l need your answer to enable me give you the best advice.