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Family / Re: My Wife Wants Me To Beg For Intercourse by Takotsubo: 9:31pm On Apr 16, 2020 |
She probably doesn't enjoy whatever it is you're doing. If you worship her body and she clim axes strongly each time you have sex,why would she be refusing? What woman will let tiredness come between her and a mind bending org asm filled sex session? I know you'll say now that you can sex for Africa so I'll counter immediately by saying may be she is really really really exhausted from looking after the baby. Sorry sah 46 Likes 4 Shares |
Family / Re: The Cheating Spouse - What Really Should Be Done Or Not Done? by Takotsubo: 9:24pm On Apr 16, 2020 |
babythug: I'm not that nice, neither am i that charitable, l am open minded only because i realise that it could be me planted heavily on this table you're shaking. Before marriage and in the first few years, i was certain i would leave.Ordinary mention of cheating and i would literally fly off a handle, lol. As time passed, i started to grow a deeper fondness and love for my husband.We share so much in common ,enjoy the same things, share children together, have common goals and generally the same outlook in life. I am not implying he is perfect, neither am i, our relationship isn't either but know for certain that if he does something and i understand his reasons and am able to work through them, why should i throw him away after many years of consistently being a good man? My deal breaker would sound very flimsy to a lot of people but it is unhappiness with each other which just cannot be resolved.Unhappiness will affect the ambience in the home and also affect the emotional state of the children.I would rather have happy separate parenting than unhappy toxic but together parenting. This is just my personal preference.. African society likes to pretend like women are supposed to be beyond reproach, lol . I'm certain a lot of spouses manage the unmanageable 'C' word just between themselves after heavy consideration of what could be lost. People work through things. As for the widows, many get serviced frequently, they're just more discrete but i see how people expect them to mourn forever in comparison to their male counterparts. I suspect a lot of the financially stable ones swerve marriage. Why remarry when there are many many men that offer themselves for free without being bound by marriage especially if it's companionship and bed shaking the woman wants? Everything varies person to person and i think we just tend to judge people based on our own views of what is right and wrong. This is my personal opinion. I could be very wrong. 1 Like |
Family / Re: The Cheating Spouse - What Really Should Be Done Or Not Done? by Takotsubo: 9:22pm On Apr 16, 2020 |
cococandy: Cheers!!! Nice to meet someone who actually understands the meaning of the name. @ food for the goose..let's just say I am open to all possibilities and very easily bored. 1 Like |
Family / Re: The Cheating Spouse - What Really Should Be Done Or Not Done? by Takotsubo: 1:55pm On Apr 16, 2020 |
@babythug I think a lot of emphasis is placed on male cheating , lol. Tooo many variables: Length of marriage. Religious affiliation and attitude towards religion. Financially dependent or independent wife Children involved and their ages Wife's interest or lack of in sexual intercourse Social security ,stigma or lack of stigma Wife's redlines: for some, cheating is nothing compared to poverty. Social status of couple Lifestyle of wife One off episode or length of affair plus result of the affair: baby on the way etc Attitude of spouse pre and post cheating Openness of both spouses Results of STD testing and willingness not accept no sex or sex with condom Ability to move on or not..could take years etc Personally, my attitude towards cheating has changed over the years mainly because I have a very good relationship with my spouse,he is a good guy, our children are very happy,home life is stable.I think he's a great father who would generally avoid anything that could hurt me and he has a very good income too which in combination within mine means a decent lifestyle for all of us. 1. I may or may not leave ,I have the financial power to care of my kids alone,society I live in doesn't have issues with divorce so this is not a problem at all. 2.The impact would be devastating for the children, because we all have a very close relationship. 3. I could cheat as well,I cannot promise 100% fidelity because the longer you are married,the more bored you become especially over 10 years... I love my spouse like kilode but I'm quite open minded about expecting someone to have sex with one person forever. Maybe I'm this lenient because I know I can fall into this particular sin out of plain boredom. No I did not have sex with anyone's husband in the past,I don't have a shady sexual history either. I just don't see why I should end all our years together just for sex especially when I could be guilty of such too( I still would draw lines on are,new child ,length of affair etc) . It depends on the context and also if I'm innocent of same at the time of the offence My spouse so far has not cheated or he's abnormally smart about it( we've passed the 10 year mark).Either ways,if he does,that just opens my mind further to the options available to me. Yes,my spouse knows I can leave or stay dependent on my interpretation of the situation. Yes yes I know about the pain and betrayal ,I'm just not overly emotional about things in general. There's just too many variables,no one really ever knows. People should just act based on their convictions. 4 Likes |
Family / Re: Polygamy Or Serial Monogamy? Will You Be A Second Wife? by Takotsubo: 2:52pm On Apr 04, 2020 |
rockstarB: Lol,I believe the issue of multiple partners should be free and open for all. If people are truthful about their expectations,they will pair or multipair with those with whom their lifestyles suit. Some women already manage multiple men steadily and smoothly without any issues.In an ideal world,they would be open about this and the men who choose to stay will stay,those that can't manage will.leave. Better for water to find it's own level and people to know and understand their own limitations. Monogamy for those who want,polyamory for another set,polyandry /polygamy for yet another,then the asexuals in their own lane. Simple,isn't it. I think multiple partners can be managed properly if everyone is aware of their place and function. 1 Like |
Family / Re: Polygamy Or Serial Monogamy? Will You Be A Second Wife? by Takotsubo: 1:40pm On Apr 04, 2020 |
Personally,my choice would be polyamory and then polyandry and polygamy for those that want to make it more formal. Then those who believe in monogamy also can choose people like them. Everyone stays happy. |
Family / Re: Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says by Takotsubo: 1:09pm On Mar 29, 2020 |
Jman06: Hello Mr Jman06, Unfortunately,my lack of sexual experience doesn't mean I am a better person. I have had thoughts to cheat and have seriously considered it.These thoughts wax and wane depending on how frustrated I feel. The ONLY THING holding me back isn't really self control but the fact that my husband is a fantastic human being in my opinion. I'm not being virtuous at all,I'm just striking a balance and appreciating a good man. I believe that if I didn't have his type of personality as a spouse,I may have done a lot of things by now. Remember everyone has their own definition of 'who re'. Some want to know how many sexual partners in the past,others do not. Some choose a number and that is their own defining line. It is very important to bear in mind that people are very very unpredictable especially sexually and there's loads of men offering free sex,doesn't have to be an ex. Put someone in the right place at the right time ,and you will be very shocked. In my view,sex is a normal basic instinct,to.indulge or not to indulge is left to whomever and I respect that. I just don't believe virginity had any impact on my marriage,maybe because it wasn't a factor for my husband and his personality is very laid back or because he's all shades of awesome..not perfect but awesome. Everything I've written is my personal opinion,my own personal experience,not a manual for others to follow. Good luck. |
Family / Re: Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says by Takotsubo: 12:04pm On Mar 29, 2020 |
yeyeosoronga: I loved loved reading this,haha especially protection and running from nasties. I think once you pass 10 years of marriage,you just start to reflect. I do not think that acquiring sexual experience would have changed my quality of partner anyways. Testing or no testing a person should just align with another with similar values . 1 Like 1 Share |
Family / Re: Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says by Takotsubo: 11:52am On Mar 29, 2020 |
Peacefullove: Doesn't have to be extreme,there are good , wonderful men out there who can finish you in bed and turn you out who are non Christian and don't believe in anything sef. Adultery ,fornication will always exist,religion or no. Non testers and tester get stung daily. Everyone should just live their best life and define their own happiness. I'm doing the exact thing I said I wouldn't, Namaste 1 Like |
Family / Re: Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says by Takotsubo: 11:46am On Mar 29, 2020 |
sisisioge: Believe me,good is the last word i'd use to describe myself. I have considered truly evil things. My man has tried jare,one person can't know how.to do everything. 1 Like |
Family / Re: Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says by Takotsubo: 11:42am On Mar 29, 2020 |
Peacefullove: Ahhhhh!! Are you saying I married for money? I am actually an accomplished professional making my own coins. Husband was not even financially stable when we married 1 Like 1 Share |
Family / Re: Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says by Takotsubo: 11:38am On Mar 29, 2020 |
Peacefullove: I apologise if I sounded defensive. Some people cannot get it right and it's okayy. For sex to.sync between two people,I think they have to be mostly on the same page in terms of preferences. Some people like things a bit freaky others prefer to point and kill instantly. Some people like sensuous sex,others like it straight to the point. I'm not one of those who believes premarital sex makes a person wayward but I understand and respect people who do. My own lack of sex wasn't religious,one of the reasons is because I just didn't have time or meet someone interesting enough to bother with. Husband is more religious,I will never blame him for not having sexual skills.I know he tries as much as he can but it just doesn't work. It's not his fault. 1 Like |
Family / Re: Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says by Takotsubo: 11:27am On Mar 29, 2020 |
bukatyne: A bit too out there for his tastes..it's not his fault at all and I have accepted it. He is still wonderful. |
Family / Re: Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says by Takotsubo: 6:14am On Mar 29, 2020 |
sisisioge: Nobody really knows what they want from sex till they actually start doing it.I even used to think of myself as well informed, I read everything readable ,watched some watchables but actually engaging in intercourse shows you the female body is crazily mysterious. I believe problems set in when one of the partners thinks of sex in a particular way or has been sexually active before you.They usually come with pre conceived notions of how it's done. Imagine if the person's experience is from ladies who have been faking it and calling him skilful,it becomes difficult for the person to believe he's not doing it right. Throw in a lady that does not know her left from right into this mix and then there's confusion, complaints destroy the fragile ego,more attempts to rectify the situation leads to more frustration etc then a pattern is formed. Effects of a mismatch can be devastating.If you wil not test to make sure,just ready your mind for anything. A very large number of women in their prime go off sex with their spouses,how is that possible if the sex is mind blowing and earth shattering?What does that tell you? My consolation has just been how wonderful he is,that's the only reason I've been managing to contain myself. A good spouse really covers a multitude of sins.. I'd rather have bad sex with an excellent personality husband than good sex with jerk. Abi this is what I tell.myself to prevent mental breakdown Back to stealth mode abeg. Cheers 2 Likes |
Family / Re: Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says by Takotsubo: 5:52am On Mar 29, 2020 |
Peacefullove: Madam,you know nothing about me or a person like me. I never knew I would fancy using restraints on my partner (DH)during sex - he's not into this. I didn't ever know my libido would be raging. No amount of discussions would have revealed this to me. So many examples sef. Some people will never be sexually compatible, and unfortunately I'm one of them. Others don't test and end up with amazing sexual vibes and that's fine. End result of sex should be both partners clim axing ,there's no in-between,it's either you do or don't. In my next life,I shall be testing to make sure I cli max every damn time,no time for fruitless theory. 1 Like |
Family / Re: Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says by Takotsubo: 5:28pm On Mar 28, 2020 |
No sex before marriage is over rated as far as I'm concerned. Virginity till marriage didn't do anything for me at all,13 years down the line and sex is still blehhh. We just do not sync sexually at least from my own end ,but this issue is small in comparison to the fact that he's an amazing human being. Fact is sexual compatibility is extremely important,if sex is necessary to your well being,better test and know what you can or cannot manage because a good number of men believe it's all about thrusting like someone performing an exorcism for 1 hour. There's a host of other sexual.problems outside erectile dysfunction or impotence. The difficulty in virginity is that you do not even know what you like ,add that to a partner whos idea of sex is fixed,you get into a pattern that's difficult to correct to the point where even showing what you like becomes an exercise frought with torture. You carry hand to put here,the hand is not really doing well,Oya carry mouth put here,disaster. Some men will be great at a load of things not just Sex,same as some women,that doesn't take away their awesomeness. There's also the element that the things that interest me are things that cause the husband to shout God forbid, It can be frustrating ,I won't lie and may cause a person to dabble into a few things but it is what it is. Thanks to the universe for toys and well timed mas turbation otherwise someone's daughter would have turned into a graven image. If I could turn back time,I would test and test and teeeesssstttt till I receive the correct result. Would.i choose another spouse?Never but I would have done things a bit differently. Just here to drop comments not to engage in Q&A or counselling 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Family / Re: Help! Help! Help! by Takotsubo: 8:49pm On Sep 07, 2019 |
funmiodun: You're welcome,I wish you all the best! |
Family / Re: Help! Help! Help! by Takotsubo: 6:21pm On Sep 07, 2019 |
funmiodun: Just mark it as anonymous and then write the amount. Cheers! |
Family / Re: Help! Help! Help! by Takotsubo: 10:11am On Sep 07, 2019 |
@funmiodun please kindly take out the information in the last post Cheers! |
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