GreenDestiny2:
I implore you never to let a woman know anything about you that looks like a secret, no matter the love. A day of quarel will certainly come, and the first things you will hear women say are those things you would not like to be in the open.

My wife saw a porn clip on my phone. Despite her being very religious, she didn't want me to delete it. She called my attention to the clip that should not be found on my phone. I laughed and and wanted to delete it right away. She said leave it. We watched it together and we did the real thing. So there was a time we were having misunderstanding. He told some people in my circle, "check his phone, he watches blue film."
I have a link with a religious organization.

There is another thing which is not a crime but capable of embarrassing you. She also spilled it.

What she does not know is that I'm already done with her despite that we are still together, dining together and so on.

Your greatest enemies might be your wife. That female gender is something you should always be wary of.

So the religious organisation people are now aware that Brother GreenDestiny runs to watch downloaded por no after mounting the pulpit and speaking in tongues
Look those people do the same thing or even worse so no point in having high bp about it.

Seriously though,its a shame that she has exposed you as a hypocrite,a couple should NEVER use private things against each other.I hope you both get well soon.

Pele.

deltateam:
Seriously many men are suffering in silence and won't speak out least they be considered weak.

How does a man cope with a woman who's always travelling for work reasons and sometimes as the husband you don't always know where your wife is.

How do you cope when you marry a woman whose first word to you when coming back is: Where did you go?

How do you cope with a woman who believes her money is hers alone and yours belongs to both of you.

Abi how do you cope with a woman whose mouth runs like tap.

Is a woman who you have to beg for sex?

Some women too, also suffer neglect, deceit, battery etc

NB: This does not discourage marriage in anyway though.

Not by force to marry,not by force to remain married. When the person is tired they can actually file for divorce and move on.

She should have dumped the dead weight if she was unhappy being the breadwinner, now she's lost her own flesh, child she carried for nine months gone like that when he/she could have easily been treated.

This child did not beg to be brought to this world and trusted that both parents would do their best for him. See how it ended.

The love of a child is precious and irreplaceable, man and woman love very fickle.

People should really be careful about who they choose to produce kids with.. It's the difference between life and death.

Poor baby, RIP.

After marriage, no need to pretend the sex is great.

All the fake moans and fake or gasms grind to a halt, the need to massage the man's ego disappears.

Majority of men know nothing about pleasing a woman, they just jump on her and expect her to clim max miraculously because they're thrusting like a jack hammer and turning ni pples like screw driver.

A huge percentage of women do not achieve org asms from penetrative sex,know that and know peace.

There is no way a woman who gets her back blown out with pleasure will say no to sex, unless there's a really good reason.. She will leave everything for good loving because she knows her mind will be melted every damn time.

If your wife is dodging you, it's because you are completely shit in bed and probably always have been shit at it.

Pele

Only on NL that you'll see the choice to live alone tied to sexual activity .

ebuka10box:
Been reading some comments on this platform and I can tell u I get scared anytime I think of marriage or falling into a relationship . What really happened to our girls?
I'm not tryna sound like a holy person or I dont enjoy being crazy at times but there are times in your life you need to tell yourself the truth and act a lil decent.
, I'm not a holy person but it beats my imagination that some of these ladies have serious dates,some are engaged, some are mothers and some are willing to get married in the future. the crazy truth these ladies dont understand is 85 percent of guys that wanna get crazy with you and spend on you wont want to spend the rest of their life with u. I was a live chat earlier this week ,a lady between the age range of 25 - 28 was just saying all sorts of crazy stuff and flaunting her body. Is it money that pushes them to do all this stuff on social media .
Here in Abu dhabi,70 percent of Nigerian ladies engage in prostitution, u really need to hear what my colleague( Afghanistan ) feels about our ladies. I asked one sex worker if she doesn't want to get a job . love is not only enjoyment, love is tough ,love is enduring, love is pain in addition.... please our ladies make una try abeg...

Interesting that you were in a live chat with someone showing her body, what does that make you?
You know where to find the kind of women you like but you seem to be gravitating towards the bad ones?

Women are not the gatekeepers of morality, they do not owe you decency.

A lot of women work and are co.providers,a vast number of men cannot even provide the basics without input from their wives but you won't notice these ones,your eyes are on the sex worker or these 'bad women'..what were you looking for with a sex worker? Were you paying or were you there to preach?

I'm just asking oo...you want decency and you're looking for it with a sex worker or live apps with naked women


Stop paying sex workers,stop looking at naked women, use this energy to educate men like you to also stop patronising these 'loose women '.

Change starts with you.Thanks for your time.

Christianity according to the Bible does not allow for equality, the woman must submit to her master and head husband.

To be a good Bible thumping Christian, you cannot believe in equality unless you want to twist the Bible into a way that suits you. Isnt it in the New testament that women aren't supposed to speak in church?

There are a lot women who follow this Christian path but these men won't go after them, instead they focus on the feminists,the very people they hate. Why?

Ignore the evil feminist women who don't fit the ideal: become incels, MGTOW, red pill,go after the woman who is exactly what you want,why all the Internet epistles targeting these people?

Go after your spec and leave these evil women to the evil men that love them.

Why should she leave if she doesn't want to?

I bet she's not staying because she loves him or can't live without him. I see people trying to make her decision into some sort of romantic love story or her fighting for her home instead of seeing it for what it probably is.

He is useful to her financially ,he will keep providing to sustain her lavish lifestyle and that of her children.

Probably does not even have sex with him at all ,has known for years about his side activities and already has dealt with it and him.

Only thing new to her will be that the public are now aware of his actions and thats it.

If the divorce laws in Nigeria are favourable with hefty compensation and alimony, many stories would be different but as long as it stays the way it is,the status quo remains.

Most of you,take a look at your parents are they in love or just together for the kids and for the convenience?

We love to deceive ourselves

This gist is recycled every 3 months,househelps someone's daughter too.

I don't know if this is supposed to make women scramble round or panic? Everyone choose your spec.

So much more to life than worrying about someone who is not on 'our daughter's ' radar marrying a "househelp".



NL is sooo extra,lol

This guy clearly wants out ,he sounds like he is being stifled so he should let the babe down kindly so she can move on with her life.

All this pressure to remain where he doesn't want to will only cause him to be resentful and he will always feel she is holding him back and will keep thinking 'what if'.

If you're tied down to a person,there are places you won't go because of your partner,you cannot do things spontaneously without checking in ,giving 10 minutes of your day will never be enough and you know it. Better to get this out if your system now while still young.



Both of you are good people but that doesn't mean you must be together. Yes,she will be very hurt because you say the relationship is fantastic and she did nothing wrong , but she will get over you.

If she's as wonderful as you say,she will find someone who wants her wholeheartedly,while you use this your time of freedom to build your dreams.

You are doing her a great favour no matter how hard it seems to be now.

Kill all thoughts of going back to her though,she probably won't ever forgive you

Good luck.

@realashbobby,

Perhaps he has moved on,you need to do the same .
From your explanation, your reason for staying in Ibadan is reasonable,your arrest of his brother happened because at the time,it was the only thing you could do especially with a 17 month old child.

If you feel you were wrong,then its sensible for you to have a mature discussion about it.

I don't understand why people think eviscerating your dignity and humiliating yourself by kneeling and crying like a toddler is a sign of repentance. You can be sincere and contrite without the theatrics.

If someone gave you 100million now,would you still go back and be begging? I know why I'm asking


Your husband wants a divorce, respect his wishes.Yes its painful but you cannot force him to love you or remain married to you.

Go and finish school and then start to chase money ,you need to give your child a good life. These two tasks are enough to reset your brain.

Fake News

@skales

You have been slagging off your married knacking partners of late. Wetin happun?

A lot of men have also done unimaginable things that would disgust their wives, I don't see them crying

If you like, lock a woman up in a room and 'keep' her at home. You will eventually become boring after some years, your di CK game and the sight of you will become unexciting, she will be attracted to other people and other people will be attracted to her. It's then her decision to dally or not.

All the things you wrote are coping strategies that are employed by men and women alike to manage the very boring possibility of one partner for life.
Again, the thought of knacking one di cK forever is enough to make a person brain dead.


It's puzzling when I see people who actually think that marriage automatically means sexual desire for ONLY a husband.

No one is immune to stirring loins o.Better we all accept reality and have peace.

Men are statistically worse so i'm not understanding the skin pain that women are catching up.

This your list made me laugh but let's know that no matter how smart you are, a determined woman will outsmart you and still leave you feeling like you're the King and Lord in control of her whole existence.


1. Nothing wrong with fantasies.. You're married and trapped already, only the mind can roam free.Variety is the spice of life..

2. Sexting, lol. Brain stimulus,men do it, women do it... Not every woman is into beautiful boys or men by the way, some prefer brain-gasms. Nothing hotter than a well read person who can paint the world with words.

3. Why would a person think of their spouse while masturbating?What a waste. You have them in real life. The whole point of masturbation is engaging the brain in fantasy.

You over emphasise on physical attributes of men.

The body of a man is not artistic in my opinion and holds no major attraction. All there is to see is a jutting or flaccid appendage and maybe a muscled ass if he is fit.I'm in awe of women who get excited by the body of a naked man..

4. This is not that common, sitting round to discuss sexual prowess or lack of.

5.Some women fetishize groping, the average woman does not like it. A massage is not groping, it is a professional well aimed application of the hand to release tension from muscles. Nothing melting there unless there's a specific agreement for a happy ending.. It's then moved from massage to something else.

B. If a woman wants to get poked pleasurably in her vagina, I doubt an examination by the doctor would be top of her list.

6. It's only idiots and desperate people that do this one.

You guys all benefitted from the sale of the house so everyone should be made to bring out that money. I'm surprised the cash wasn't given to Mama since she is still alive.

Another way is to cut down the other maintenance one million maybe by half and the others can take on her feeding.They are around her and won't let her starve.

When you say the extra expenditure will make things tight? How tight? If your husband thinks you have enough money for it, things may just not appear to him as bad as you say it is.

I once had similar dilemma but it was over a more serious decision and lots more cash.I knew if push had come to shove he would suggest the same for my family but I'd have found a way to manage it in a way that would not have impacted us as much.

It is very tempting to view this as him choosing his mum over his own family,infact when it was my turn, at the time,I questioned his loyalty to us (the kids and I) but I know the man I'm married to, to a good extent.

For your own sanity,don't let your mind stray too far. You know he loves you and the kids (I'm assuming so)but he also wants to do what he thinks is right.

I didn't argue much then ,because I felt it would seem like I didn't want a positive thing for my in-law.I had serious concerns that he would to ruin us financially but I kept them to myself as my strongly worded objections brought about a lot of angst.

Instead,I became vocally enthusiastic about this expenditure.

I was crying inside and cursing,but outwardly, I was sitting down with pen and paper, doing calculations,face scrunched up with worry, vocally searching for where "we" would "squeeze" the money out from and even offered up a good chunk of our savings.

Infact,I carried the spending on my head,making all the payments etc asking hubby how far constantly.

In the end,we paid huge sums,I also did a few strategic extras and became elevated to saintly status.

I'm not even particularly close to my in-laws neither am I a very nice person. They called from far and wide to thank me especially for the extras I did and I was oh so graceful and saying all thanks belong to the Almighty

This saga made me keep away a significant sum for our family as I felt that as good intentioned and lovely as my husband is,it's truly up to me to make sure we don't ever go broke. We run a joint account and I've always been in charge of our finances though.

I would stop talking about it negatively and get onboard if I were you.

Bring out that budget and all you both earn. Muster some enthusiasm if you can. Sit with him and see what he suggests.

Look at all your bills and cut down on the non essesntials,it will not last forever.
Let there be evidence of the things you are giving up for this to happen.


If it will drive you to debt,let him work the extra hours,he said he would, why stop him?

Support him while he does the heavy lifting and send him texts while he is at it,praising all his hard work , the good example he is setting for you guys while reminding him that this sacrifice you are all making as a family is for a good cause.

Offer to work extra even if you can't.
It's the thought behind it that counts .
If he takes you up on it, sorry,don't come for me.

Use this opportunity to buy yourself goodwill that will last a lifetime at least in the eyes and heart of your hubby.

I swear you would get away with practically anything a lot of times because excuses will be made for you due to your "good deeds".

There are many ways to skin a cat and still come out smelling of roses. Why give yourself unnecessary headache over this? To win in life,you must be strategic.


* This is all assuming your husband is normal and values you.
Sorry for the epistle

@LuvB,
You should understand that you're a side dyck.
Your function to her is sexual gratification.I don't know why you're allowing your emotions to control you .

She has made it clear (according to you)that she has no plans to leave her husband/ family or mess with things in her home.

For reasons best known to her,she chooses to have sex outside her husband and you voluntarily chose to supply the d yck.

Nothing like soul tie here because it would imply that she's emotionally invested when you say she's not,unless soul tie is one sided.

You should know your role .Either you accept it ,do your job well and stop crying or you move on and face your family which is better .

I'm pretty sure you know that if push comes to shove,she would choose her family a thousand times over you.

Sorry .

@drnoel,
I totally understand your viewpoint.
For the unorthodox methods eg hypnosis I have not seen any scientific data to support the use of this. I believe it would be like CBT where some symptoms eg anxiety are addressed, a way to help correct some behavioural deficits nothing more.
I haven't found any evidence for Hypnosis though and would lean more towards tried and tested CBT.

No harm in prayer people if it helps them sleep at night..those who play pastors preaching may feel lifted if the pastor is preaching positivity ,I choose to think of it as another method of mindfulness and religious CBT,lol

Autism comes with other comorbidities eg ADHD,depression,anxiety, difficulties managing emotions etc..the memory issues and attention deficit could be ADHD..I would encourage OP to look into it.

Usually I would encourage DSM five guidelines or NICE guidelines to symptom check so when the pediatrician is talking,you are also armed with your own facts.

For an autistic child, information has to be broken down into simple words, Instructions should be very simple and easy to follow otherwise the child would become overwhelmed and frustrated then have bursts of anger( this is where CBT comes in,to teach the child how to recognize anger(and other emotions)and express them in an appropriate way)

If the child learns visually, use visual cues,use flash cards,constant repetition will help.

Learning should be in short bursts..if possible sit infront where teacher can monitor.

Child should have lots of breaks too.

Make lists with short instructions as a reminder for the child.

I'll be back later ..

@Op,
It's strange that you're panicking over an ORDINARY boyfriend ,worst of it all is that you don't appear to be smart @ 22 years.

You're at the prime of your life and you're bending over backwards for an ordinary man who wants to break up with you just because your parents refuse for you to leave the house and come over to his for knacking?

You should have him eating out of your palms at this stage and willing to do anything to maintain the relationship.

A man who respects you and has any regard for you would NEVER EVER suggest a break up under these circumstances,this already gives a clue as to the kind of person he is.

If sex is to be had,it should be at your convenience,when you want and how you want not under duress and because of break up threats..No Dyck is worth it.

I feel sorry for you and hope that you start gathering sense otherwise,you'll keep being manipulated anyhow by all these low calibre boys.

Non attractiveness is a small mata..

Put a paper bag over the head of a monkey,a good number of men would still hit.

Most peni ses have no standards. Sorry.

Ginaz:


Thanks. I’ve called her and told her my mind then ended the call in anger . She didn’t even bother to call back . I’m fine no worries . Now I know I was fooling myself all along anyways.

You were not fooling yourself,you are an amazing human being and a loving sister.

Lots of people would give an arm and a leg to have a sibling like you.

You have done well..accept the fact that she may never be the person you want her to be and just move on.

**sending hugs your way**

Ginaz:


My dad doesn’t like her cos she has a bad mouth and hot temper . He does compare us sometimes but I always rebuke him and have quarreled with him the way he does treat her.

My dad always tell me I don’t know my sister very well that I should leave her alone . I feel kindness towards her not that I want to compensate for my dad’s lack of love towards her but cos I really care. I’ve realized it’s me always want to be in her life , i do the calling 100% of the time just to check up on her and the calls last for an hour or least 30minutes. She only calls when she needs money.

My sister can keep malice for Africa also.

Then, have one final chat with her to explain how you feel and let her go. You're causing yourself a lot of turmoil .
Try to focus on yourself and protect your mental health.

Is this a rebuttal to the thread about the guy who found out his wife was older and went on to divorce her?

@Ginaz

What is the reason for the dislike your dad has for her and how obvious is he about it?

Is it possible that you're overcompensating to cover up for the way your father treats her?

Does your dad compare you two and does he treat you as his favourite?

Put yourself in her shoes for a second, imagine living with the knowledge that your own father does not like you and isn't subtle about it. Not only that,but also witnessing dad showering love and attention on another sibling.It must have been hard for her to stomach that and that's why she moved out.

Perhaps in her search for belonging and love, she tried to create her own little family, unfortunately, father of the baby is dead and she is alone again now stranded with a child and having to ask you(who she probably resents for help).

She has been dealt a heavy blow by life at first through no fault of hers(by being born) and I think her behaviour will be marred by anger targeted at you for being the perfect child who has the love of her father, inferiority complex,loss and grief.

If I were you,I would love her from a distance. Stop over extending yourself but at the same time offer understanding about how she has turned out.

People cannot give what they don't have..she never felt loved or wanted so it will be hard for her to accept love & reciprocate your gestures of care.


I can understand the emotional toll this is taking on you but you cannot undo all the psychological scars that have happened to her in the past.

Tell her you will be there for her if she needs you but explain that you are tired of being shut out of her life when all you want to do is be present for her. Reassure her that the door will always be open for her then allow her to decide how to go forward.

You have tried to meet her with kindness and that's way more than a lot of people would do.