₦airaland Forum

talk2alabama:
it's alright, i like the way you accept your mistakes... buh please try to practice what you preach.

I do

talk2alabama:
if you say love Is all about trust and forgiveness then why did you say no when I asked if you would forgive a cheating partner?


I think you just preach but when it concerns you, you are just like everyone else

the enthusiasm of first time freedom is something we have al experienced, so I wont judge, she was drugged and raped through no fault of hers, she didn't continue having sexx after that incident neither did she try to infect the guy with it.

I can forgive a cheating partner if sexx isn't involved, that's how I should have said it, we all know cheating isn't all about intercourse.

I might have written this story but these things happen in real life and I am just trying to tell our youths out there to be careful

talk2alabama:
yes I listen to every bit of word. But I don't believe everything she tells.

loool

love is all about trust and forgiveness, he knew all those years, killed for her and kept her secret, love isn't superficial, it goes deep down in our soul, so she made a mistake, would she keep suffering all the rest of her life because of that?

talk2alabama:
I regret reading because the slowpoke boyfriend forgave her at the end. He was supposed to show some anger

he didn't just forgive her at the end, he knew for a very long time

talk2alabama:
she cheated period.. her boyfriend simply told her not to go for the party and she did.. dats cheating

loool

u listen to everything ur girl tells u?

talk2alabama:
I even regret why reading sef.. how can babe cheat on u finish, even sef carry hiv join, all those while dey did nor have sex and the guy says he forgives her. Who does that

u regret reading it cos u didn't really read it did ya

this is what happen to some first year students who get carried away, it was a mistake and it happened once

talk2alabama:
will you forgive a cheating partner? Yes or no?

no

and where did it state she cheated? she was drugged and gang raped

talk2alabama:
lol its just a coincidence.. anyways daats not why i'm in here.. did u read to the end of her story? It's pissing me off

why's it pissing you off?

John and Janet loved each other so much, they did everything together and for each other, theirs was a relationship which started from their parents and passed unto their kids.


They went everywhere together as kids, attended the same school, went to the same university, studied the same course, theirs was a love which was made in heaven, they were an example of star crossed lovers, everyone wanted to have the kind of love they had.


With relationships like these, everyone thought they had the perfect lives, they had the perfect example of what a relationship should be, everyone envied them, John and Janet were who you would point fingers at and pray to God to give you the type of their relationship.


They finished school, served, got nice jobs and was finally ready to settle down, they were raised in a good Christian home, John had known no other woman except Janet, and he thought same of Janet; but Janet had a secret she has been hiding since the first year of their university, she couldn’t tell John about it, she hid it so well that no one noticed, she told no one, confided in no one and guarded the secret with her life.


As marriages go in Nigeria, especially if you’re going to wed in a church, you need to enroll in marriage courses and go for tests, Janet tried so hard to avoid these tests, she told John there was no need because they had known each other all their lives, John agreed but the church would have none of it, John did his and everyone wondered why Janet hadn’t done hers, she knew the outcome of the result, she had known for years, she had been taking care of it for years and now the whole world was about to know her secret.


Let’s go back a few years


The anticipation of entering into a higher institution is what every teen feels as soon as they are done with high school, the freedom that comes with it, the feeling of independence and maturity, no parents or elder sibling to chastise them, it was a free world and like free things come nothing is ever really free.


When Janet and John got into the university, they stayed in different hostels; Janet is an extrovert and John isn’t, so every night she said bye to John she sneaked out with the girls from the hostel, they just strolled around the school, gossiped giggled, and y’all know the excitement that comes with first time freedom.


Freshers in a university were always easy targets for some men; they deceive and use them, initiate them and also blackmail and milk them dry. During one of these harmless strolls at night with the girls, a guy approached them and told them about a party that was going to take place soon, it was a freshers party he called it, to welcome new students into the university, the girls were all excited, their first adult party, they had to go it’s a must they had to.


Janet told John about it but he refused, told her they didn’t come to the university for parties and beside they had just started they still had time to party if the wanted to, he begged her not to attend and she agreed. She told the girls, they were angry they wanted her to come with them, they had plans, they were going to meet boys, they couldn’t wait and so they hatched a plan, John didn’t have to know she would attend and it would be their secret.


Back to the present


As Janet sat in her room thinking about that day, she wished she could go back and force her younger self not to attend that party, she wished and wished but what’s done is done, she sat crying wailing thinking gnashing her teeth, the pleasure of one night had ruined her life, the pleasure of one night had dashed her hope of ever being happy, oh that one night pleasure and John still thought she was a virgin, they had both promised to keep themselves till they got married, that was a vow she had broken, a vow that was not supposed to be broken her quest for the freedom of the world had broken it.


Back to the past


The girls giggled, dressed nice, made up their faces, chuckled and practiced dance steps, the D-day had finally come and they couldn’t contain their excitements anymore, when they got there the place was lively, filled with new and old students, booze was everywhere, drugs and condoms were given for free, all manners of earthly desire was taking place before Janet’s eyes and she was awed, she had seen these things in a movie and never thought it could be reenacted in real life, then she felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave, what would John think of her she asked herself, she looked for her friends but they were already drawn into the lust of the party, she told them she wanted to leave but it was late into the night who would walk her back to the hostel?


She stood alone, angry, angry that she had come to this den of iniquity, angry she had lied to John, angry she thought she would enjoy this, angry she didn’t enjoy it, in her state of angriness a young man walked up to her,


Man: pretty girl, why’re you standing here alone when people are having so much fun in there?


Janet: nothing really, I just want to go back to the hostel, I don’t feel good, I am tired


Man: tired? What’s your name?


Janet: Janet Amarachukwu Ibezim, I am a fresher too, she said with pride, studying Math and Statistics


Man: very nice, very nice, you mind if I get you something to drink? Juice? Coke? I can go get them from my table and then walk you back to the hostel.


Janet: Alright.


And so this stranger, went back in, came out with a bottle of opened coke and gave it to Janet, naïve her, innocent her, how could she know, how? the drink was spiked, he wasn’t a nice man who cared that she stood outside alone, he wasn’t a nice man who just wanted to walk her back to the hostel, he wasn’t a nice man who cared about her course, he was a predator who preyed on naïve girls like her, he was a predator who took advantage of teenagers like her, he was one of so many who planned events like these to molest and rape young girls and Janet today was his prey.


They chatted for a while, while she sipped her coke and then the dizziness came, then the uncontrollable laughter, she found herself feeling somehow, it didn’t occur to her she might have been drugged, she begged him to see her off to the hostel, she was dizzier than she felt minutes ago and needed a place to lay her head.


And so they left, walked into the darkness, she put her head on his shoulder while he guild her by the waist, held her gently, not so long after that, she slumped, dizzy and everything was hazy, she heard voices, felt pain, couldn’t lift a finger, she was pulled, hit, her clothes torn and the voices laughed while they hurt her.


Back to the present


Well the gang rape resulted in a pregnancy which she aborted without telling John, and a few months later she found out she was HIV positive and she still didn’t tell john, she took her drugs, went for checkups, counseling and just hoped one day she would tell John and they would go their separate ways and that day has finally come.


She called John and asked him to come over, sat him down and started crying, he was concerned, he ached, he wanted to know what was hurting her so much, he wanted that pain to be his, he couldn’t watch her to this to herself so he pleaded for her to tell him, she finally did and stood up couldn’t look at him then she heard John say, Baby I have known all this time.


I knew you went to the party, your friends told me, I knew you were raped, I heard some guys talk about it, you remember the brutal killings of some guys on campus then? I paid a group in cult to carry it out when I found out what they did to you, when you went for your HIV test I knew, I saw the drugs, it ached me so much you didn’t trust me enough to tell me, but I was always there, waiting and hoping you would one day tell me, trust me with that secret that’s been weighing you down.


Why didn’t you trust me he asked? Why Janet? She was speechless, the tears had stopped flowing, so he knew all this time and said nothing, she was ashamed, couldn’t look at him, she stammered, stuttered, words failed her, she slumped and woke up minutes later with John looking over her.


Janet he said, I love you, I have loved you since we were kids and I will never stop loving you, I don’t care what anyone says when they find out about your test results, we can have children if you want biologically and we can also adopt, I stood by you even after I found out these things, I killed for you and would do it all over again without thinking twice, I still want to marry and grow old with you all I ask is for you to trust me enough to take care of you and handle situations like this.


We can skip the tests, do a court wedding and be happy, it’s all your choice, I want you now and forever Janet, just you. Janet stared at him, she just stared long and hard and heaved a sigh, fell back asleep with a smile knowing everything will be alright.



Isabella Ibeji

http://www.talk2bella.com/2016/10/the-unbreakable-vow.html

My phone is always on silent

DarkRebel101:
I love YouTube.

MzMayD:
Career first......



Relationship can come later

is MayD your boyfriend

DarkRebel101:
There are no heads or tails in relationships, there are only equals. My belief anyway.

Bible-thumping enthusiasts are perennially on the qui vive to adduce a grab bag of scriptural verses to shore up their assertions that men are the head and women should submit unconditionally, but it never trips their analytic red flags that the Bible never fell like manna from Heaven, and was matter-of-factly written by flawed men, men like you and I , and in an era where male chauvinism was the norm in practice.
Let us not even talk about the individual cognitive biases that must manifested in the writing of the Holy Book.

Men being seen as the heads and women as lower in rank is the brainchild of societal conventions and social conditioning, and not as a result of some preternatural mandate from the lips of the Most High.

...

Of course, we do not know what happens behind the curtains of their private home, and they have in fact had some skirmishes in the past, but if we extrapolate from their "body language" in public and the longevity of their marriage, we could reason by induction that they have found a way to keep the wheels of their marriage rolling smoothly.

I just love you

DarkRebel101:
Working with the assumption that the relationship has culminated in the knot of Holy Matrimony: I would not and cannot throw away my career for a relationship, especially if the reasons that necessitate my forfeiture are of the facile variety: like a neurotic wife entertaining hairline cracks of doubt as regards my faithfulness to her -- assuming my line of work involves a lot of contact with members of the opposite sex --, and putting the squeeze on me to give up the job in order to burst the suspension-of-suspicion-bubble that she is trapped in.

Bottom line, I would never renege on my career to placate the vagaries of my significant other. That would only make me the proverbial reed which bends in humble servility to the north wind bearing the wishes, whims and caprices of others.

...

But, in extremis and in dire straits, in case scenarios when the boat is adrift on rough waters and things are beginning to fall apart, only then would I sacrifice and give up my job for the sake of the relationship and in fulfilment of my marital vows: "in health and in sickness; for better or for worse".

Say, by an ill stroke of fate, my wife became paraplegic and can no longer make use of her limbs, or say my child suffered a macabre experience that begs for my undivided attention and presence, then yay, I would happily be that quisling who betrayed his career for thirty pieces of silver.

[...]

Talk2bella, conflict of interests are a commonplace in relationships, but I have seen couples by dint of determination, by way of compromise; by the laudable virtues of selflessness and large-spritedness; by sacrifice and by trust, worked hand in glove in ensuring that they stay well above water level.

After much rigour of observation, I think Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva could be said to be appropriate byspels and the ne plus ultra of a couple who knows how to compromise.

Valid points you have made their, its mostly about trust and understanding but today's relationships are soaked in envy, jealousy and competition of who should be the head and also the tail.

As for Olu and Joke, they have their issues also, they show the public what they need to see and not what's really going on in their home, and they both being in the same line of career helps

baddestchic:
im glad its for humour sake but let me add that if you stalk your boyfriend then you will soon die because i know some people will still try it.....

Greenbullet:
nobody can stalk me ,I know when am being followed.if I notice u,I go enter market lose u sharp sharp.

na so

Timbuktou:
Well, it would depend on what type of relationship it is. If its just a dating relationship, then I'd advise that career be chosen, dates are a dime a dozen, and breakups could occur. If it's a marriage relationship, however, family comes first.

Talk2Bella, I would also advise you to get someone who loves you now while you're coming up in the world. When your success can no longer be hidden, you'll look back on the times when you could vouch for some guy's true intentions but blew him off because you wanted to "build a career". If you haven't found such a person thats quite different, but closing out everybody because of career development will come back to bite you in the ass. Of course, assuming you have plans to settle and have a family in the future. Otherwise, fire away, nuttin do you.

thanks

Newbeginnings:
Talk2bella ..... Please who are you?

Bella

mehn dunno wah to say sef

nanauju:
Happy birthday to me peeps

happy birthday dear

I am inclined to believe there's no recession

Career and relationship sometimes don’t see eye to eye, recently we were all amazed when a married female politician turned down a juicy appointment from the president himself, her reason was what most people termed “One In A Million” but is it really? She wanted to take care of her sick husband.


Why many might crucify me for what I am about to say, I think sometimes the prospect of a good career should supersede the notion of a healthy relationship.


Building a career doesn’t just stop with you alone, it’s a bridge if built very well will serve as a passage or link for those who will come after you, this might include family, friends and loved ones so why would you want to burn that bridge or destroy it because of a relationship which might collapse any moment?


Why I would give that lady a pass, she’s married and with kids and whatever bridge she’s built brought her to where she is currently, but I have seen a lady who quit her banking job because her fiancé said he would not get married to a banker because he perceives all of them as corporate prostitutes, I have seen guys who were on the path of becoming superstars through the work of their hands quit their jobs because their girlfriends didn’t like what they did for a living.


Would you quit your career over a relationship? I asked myself today when a guy was asking me out on BBM, I told him I wasn’t ready to date, I had some prospects I was looking into and relationship might be a hindrance to that step I wanted to take, this guy opened his mouth and said “What could be more important than a relationship”? I was shocked, like seriously? You’re asking me that, even if it ain’t a career there are far more important things than dating.


I have always been someone who would put career ahead of anything, so I thought growing up, then I saw the strain careers put on relationships, then I began to wonder if a really good career can co-exist with a relationship, what will it take, what are the steps to put in place to make this successful, we see celebrity marriages collapse, we blame them without knowing what they go through, we see successful women quit their marriages, we see successful men quit their marriages, the more successful you are in a career it seems your marriage or relationship is doomed for failure.


For men it’s easier to ask a woman to quit a nice career, but if a woman should ask a guy to quit a nice career do they agree? Women have the right to a nice career too you know, we can have a career and also a home, maintain our families as long as the husbands understand this, we’re ready to support our husbands when they want to pursue theirs, why is it difficult for some men to go against their wives when they also want to pursue theirs.


I need to hear people’s opinions about this; would you quit a good career over a relationship? Would you ask your wife to quit her career over her marriage? Would you ask your husband same?


Do men handle careers more than women? Do women get carried away with their careers? Can marriage and a busy career work hand in hand?



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCmlPm-wrTA


Isabella Ibeji

http://www.talk2bella.com/2016/10/would-you-choose-good-career-over.html

Stelvin101:
All I can say to you is that TEMPTATION and MISTAKES are two very common things in a woman's life and as her man always help her avoid these two things. Another thing is, in this modern world we live in, love isn't enough for a to cheat. The best thing is avoidance of certain things

So it's different for men working in a hotel?

Stelvin101:
I can't even think of my gf working in an hotel. I rather pay her monthly myself. Mine brought it up one time. If you see the way I use attack her like a lion attacking its prey, the talk end once instantly. I told her it will be the end of the relationship if she dare try am! Now she is learning Makeup and sewing of wedding gown which she has learned to love.

ahan, common, do u mean girls working in hotels aren't responsible? you don't trust your girlfriend abegi, you should k now when a woman loves a man sincerely, nothing entices her